It’s Okay to Let ‘em See You at Your Ugliest! It’s Okay!

Yesterday I did a thing.  I filmed a video for my YouTube channel and I went outside of my comfort zone.

I did a “GRWM” or, in layperson’s terms “Get Ready With Me” video.

This type of video is remarkably popular.  I’m sure it has something to do with our curiosity and wondering just how others manage to pull their makeup looks together.  Most of these videos are filmed by younger women.  Those with peaches and cream skin. You know the type I’m talking about.

GET READY WITH ME: Fall Night Out! - YouTube

I don’t know who this YouTuber is but even though she’s younger, I give her lots of credit for the before pic. Yeah. She’s got perfect skin. And yeah. She’s tons younger but it’s about the fact she is pretty honest with the no makeup look. And I have to say. She’s gorgeous without makeup. But..we’re a lot older!

It’s the woman who hasn’t entered into the realm of serious ageing.  Her skin isn’t full of wrinkles or age spots and the uneven skin tone hasn’t set itself into her complexion yet.  Ninety-nine-point nine present of them, I pass by simply because they are not relevant to me.  My only exception is the wonderful Shelby Wilson, who always manages to do the fresh face and natural face video. The. One. Exception.

This is Shelby Wilson. She is the ONLY younger YT makeup guru I follow. and I’ve gotten a ton of great tips from her. Her looks are multi-generational! Please allow me to strongly suggest you watch this video:  Doing My Mom’s Makeup

But—what bothers me and, quite frankly, upsets me to no end is when I see the mature, over-50, over 60, old lady, proaging woman, whatever you chose to call her, filming these videos and using a filter to erase the lines and wrinkles and other signs of ageing she has acquired over the years.

No. Your computer screen is not dirty nor are your eyeglasses smeared with Vaseline. It’s me with an over-filtered photo. And it is ridiculous. And it is one of the reasons I left many online wig groups because older women INSIST on filtering their faces.  Sure. The wrinkles and flaws are visually erased but it isn’t REAL. It isn’t what an older woman looks like (correction unless she is able to afford the best face lift on earth). I shake my head.

And it drives me equally crazy when women of the mature age-bracket, use filters and Photo Apps on their Facebook posts and Instagram feeds.  If you must resort to this way of catfishing people, then you are not happy nor are you pleased about ageing or your looks. And it goes against the thought process of ageing gracefully.  Or gratefully.

Hey. I didn’t look this smooth since I left my mother’s womb–and I’m sure upon first sight I was wet and wrinkly.  But seriously folks–I’m 65 years old and if anyone believes that this is what I really look like, I have a bridge to sell you.

To be honest, I’m grateful that I’ve aged thus far. In three weeks as I enter into my 66th rotation around the sun, I am very aware of my flaws.  In fact, I’m going to go further and be completely transparent.

Over the years, I’ve had the pre-cancerous Actinic Keratosis zapped from various spots above my mouth due to sun damage. This has left me with a very blurred lip line and very uneven lips.  It is something that I’m very self-conscious about and for my birthday, I’m treating myself to Juviderm to give myself a more defined lip line. I’ve been saving up for this for six months as my husband isn’t thrilled about my choice.  But—my mouth. My choice.  In the meantime, it doesn’t stop me from showing how I really look.

I’ve had at least 8 spots on my upper lip burned and zapped off by my dermatologist. It has left me with a less-defined lip, a blurry lip and a very uneven mouth, which has left me very self aware and unable to wear red lipstick.  I want to wear red lipstick again. I also want my mouth to be well-defined again.  

Truthfully, the only fakeness about me is my hair and my nails..

Speaking of which, I need to get a fill-in next week. And I need to reapply the fake tanner that Chippy licked off this morning…

…..at least my titties are real. I can usually be found lifting them up at least a dozen times a day. I know, I know–sometimes I’m naughty!

And that’s my point.  It is okay to let people see you at your “ugliest”. And by that, I mean it’s okay to go without makeup. It’s fine to allow others to see you as you really are. You don’t need to hide behind a filter.  Granted, I’m not going to go all filler-crazy and spend every last cent on fillers. No way. I’m just merely correcting the results from sun damage.

Let’s go from ugly to acceptably normal–shall we?

Back to the Get Ready With me.  I showed a step-by-step, which I’ll go through below in still photos.  To see the video, click this link:  Get Ready With Me. From Ugly to Acceptable

 

Bare Faced and completely hideous to some degree.  Look!  I have freckles, age spots, scars from accidents and acne, sun damage, a scar from skin-cancer surgery.  Wrinkles. I’m the whole package of a flawed face—and it’s okay!

A lazy, naturally crossed eye. Redness. Age Spots. Scars from accidents and surgery. Freckles. Wrinkles.  A face only a mother could love–and my own mother loved my sisters’ faces better!

So, after moisturizer and primer, I went in with my beloved Well-Rested to cover the blue and any discoloration around the eyes.  And yes. It is a mineral powder and if anyone notices it enhances fine lines then you are too close to my personal space.

I’ve been using Well-Rested since before my face was a wrinkled raisin!  I can’t stop using it. I love it. It works to get rid of the discoloration and blue tint. And you can wear cream shadow over it!

Next it was eyeshadow and liner.  For the everyday, I go with a very light shadow and I make a very fine line at the edge of my lid with a cream-based liner crayon. I also tightline with it. I also applied my favorite mascara—L’Oréal’s Voluminous Mascara. It’s inexpensive and great!

See what a difference a hint of shadow (Bobbi Brown Shadow Crayon in Stone),  Liner (Thrive eye liner pencil) and Mascara  make?  Hey. Look at my good eye please!

Then I went in with the cream foundation—this by Seint (formerly Maskcara), applied and blended the bejeezus out of it.  You can be rough. That skin has toughened over the decades. The more you blend, the more natural the result!

Next I went in with my Seint cream makeup. My facial expression is quite unique–isn’t it?

And after blending with a brush, I go over it all with this InStylish sponge. This is the only one I have left. I had three. Chippy ate the other two.

See? We’re looking a bit better now!  The skin tone is evened out. This is NOT a full-coverage look. It is simply evening out the skin tone and distracting from the flaws!

Then a bit of contour, again by Seint and cheek and lip color. I used the Boomstick Color stick and applied with a Real Techniques brush. I cannot praise those Real Techniques more than I do. I LOVE these brushes!

Boomstick Color stick on my cheeks applied with a Real Techniques brush. (I got hooked on this brush after watching a Shelby Wilson video. I now have eight of these).

See what a little color om the cheeks does?  I feel so Gidget!

Brows all done.  A bit of a finishing touch with setting powder under the eyes to ensure the mascara applied to lower lashes won’t smear and a bit of glimmer and I’m done.

Momma Mia. This brow crayon/pencil from Trestique is an HG item. 

Wow. I look so…so….NORMAL!!!

See. It’s so easy to go from “ugly” to decent in a matter of minutes. And let us not forget the hair.  I’m wearing Reeves by Estetica Designs.

I tell you that a woman’s crowning glory is her hair–even when it’s fake!!

 Mature Beauty Tip!  My go-to beauty tool these days is a tweezer. It gets rid of lady whiskers and—ugh—those stray nose hairs.  I’m beginning to think the term “menopause” was put into place because you acquire manly traits like chin whiskers and nose hair. Thank God I don’t have ear hair sticking out!

…and those pesky lady whiskers appear out of nowhere. Any time of day. 

More of the ugly truth. I stick the tweezers up my nose as well. I’m just waiting for the ear hair. Trust me, it’ll come.

So, do you prefer bare-faced “ugly” (I use that term loosely and with a sense of humor) or do you prefer a cloudy, filtered face. What helps you decide when it comes to cosmetics? I’m curiously nosey on this one! What’s your opinion on filters and face apps? Am I the only one against them? Do tell!

As an extra, I created an “From Ugly to Pretty” Shopping list on my Amazon Store.  Seint cosmetics is not available on Amazon but I did find dupes in cream foundation and contours.  I do receive a small commission from sales on Amazon, so please don’t think I’m shilling.  You can print the list and keep it in your purse so when you go shopping you can compare!    thank you!

About Catherine

Far from perfect, but enjoying life as a non-perfect and flawed individual at 60 years young. I'm still wondering what I'll be when I grow up! The characters in my life's screenplay include my better half. He is a refined Frenchman who grew up in Paris and summered in St. Tropez. I grew up in Long Island and summered in Long Island. I am not refined. My three grown children are also a big part of my life. For their sake, they happily live where their careers have taken them! But I can still mother them from a distance! I write about the mundane. I write about deeply shallow issues. But whatever I write or muse about--it'll always be a bit on the humorous and positive side! It's all good!
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22 Responses to It’s Okay to Let ‘em See You at Your Ugliest! It’s Okay!

  1. I love love LOVE seeing your before and after photos! I think you’re beautiful in both and I’m amazed by the transformation you make. You’re great with makeup and hair. I can only imagine your videos are just as awesome 🥰

    Ang | https://loseweightwithang.com

  2. Kathryn says:

    Hello Cathe-I am pleased to see the real deal- not a filtered, “pretend” version of a lady my age. If I had your beautiful skin and virtually no”11” between my eyebrows I would probably go makeup free, But, alas, that is not the case so I do wear makeup most days. I am toying with Botox for the “11” – time will tell. Thank you for keeping it real- chin hairs and all!😊👍😉

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Kathryn and I thank you! I also say, Go for it with the Botox. I don’t have those 11 lines but I have a lot of other stuff going on. I”ve always said from day one that if I could afford it, I would find the best plastic surgeon and get a full-on face lift. Why? I would still look like me but better! It’s those dang filters and face apps that absolutely kill me. And too many fillers. Christy Brinkley, the once-gorgeous model is now shiliing some sort of skin care item and she is almost unrecognizable. She has way too many fillers to the point she is beginning to look like Jocelyn Wildenstein–the “Cat” Lady from NYC who had way too many surgeries and fillers.
      I’m definitely not going to pretend about my age–that’s for sure! XOXOXOXO

      • vavashagwell says:

        You’re so right – Christy Brinkley took it too far. Just like Faye Dunaway.

      • vavashagwell says:

        Yeah, Christy Brinkley took it too far and now she has the ‘cat face’ just like Faye Dunaway. UGH. I also roll my eyes at some of the Mormon mommy bloggers – they are in their 30s and doing the lip fillers, botox, injections, huge fake boobage, etc. When they reach their 60s, what will they look like? I really can’t believe they think the ‘trout pout’ is a good look, and they are YOUNG!!!! They all use filters and it’s so damned obvious.
        I’m just a week or two behind you in age (May 3rd is my 66th birthday). I only wear some tinted lip gloss (Burts Bees) and that’s it. When the pandemic hit, I ditched my contact lenses and just wear glasses and so I really don’t even use mascara much anymore. I worked outdoors in my career and just got lucky that there isn’t a lot of sun damage on my face because for many of those years it was before sunscreen became a thing. I do get a ‘weave’ of color on my hair every 7 weeks and keep my hair trimmed. The only real change in the last year in the hair department is I’ve embraced my natural waves and slight curl and just let it air dry. I use a non-lathering shampoo (Hairstory) which is moisturizing and has made a huge difference in the texture, too. Good for my scalp as well!!
        I just feel lucky to be alive. And I’m so glad you are, too.

      • Catherine says:

        Hi Vava! You know, I used to live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. And I would see Christy Brinkley every so often. She was on the shorter side for a model but , my God, in real life she was just so beautiful. When I saw that recent ad, I just could not believe my eyes. She went over the top. Fay Dunaway doesn’t even resemble the woman she was in Bonnie and Clyde. Actually, with this pandemic I downsized a lot of the makeup I wore! LOL. Don’t even get me started on those Mormon Mommy Bloggers. Every one of them not only has been physically “enhanced” at a young age but they all look alike. Blondish soft wavy hair extensions flowing past their fake titties. Those floppy hats that they wear too far up on their heads (that’s so annoying), ripped jeans, booties, and they are all named Lynsdi, Lynsee, Lindsee, Lindsea, Lindsi. It’s crazy! XOXOXOXO

  3. Juliet says:

    Love this blog post. I cant stand the filters nonsense – every single wrinkle, jowly bit, splodgy bit on my face I have jolly well earned – some the easy way (laughing a lot) and some through sad times, I wouldnt erase any of my wrinkles, they soften my face and honestly my face is now a bit composition of parts than it was as a young one – those influencers/actresses who get their larger and often more distinctive noses trimmed into cute little button noses – pffffffffft when you get older that original nose hangs better on the face usually, unless you were born with that cute little button nose and it works with your facial structure (and our noses dont get wrinkly – so it focuses the eye on a less wrinkly bit as a bonus), I am not including people who need structural work for breathing etc but the constant tinkerers, we are not car mechanics we are women… age works wonders at letting it all work together. Think how a garden matures, think how a casserole is better next day, think how french women often seem to have the edge when it is embracing their older looks (I have no idea what goes on underneath but you see some very wrinkly happy french actresses), think letting wine breath, think…. Dont even get me started on the “this is how 50 looks” or “this is how 60 looks” prevalent in some UK reads – no it flippin’ doesnt unless you were incredibly fortunate, had a very indulged lifestyle, have nothing going on in your sad empty shell of a life and like body shaming other women who look their own 50 or 60.. I want to look good for me – that means embracing what I have got and going with it, and also pleasing myself. Reality is always much more interesting thats why you are so utterly wonderful

    • Catherine says:

      Ugh. Juliet. This fekking laptop. I lost my reply to you! Anyway, You are 100 percent correct. And don’t get me started on those elitist women with the “This is how 50..60 looks like” In most cases it ISN”T what that particular age looks like because these are pampered and privileged dilettantes. It runs rampant on Instagram. It’s all about image. Women who casually pose with the porche their husband purchased for them. The country club. This isn’t the average woman! And I fear that women with low self-esteem took at this and feel less about themselves. It drives me up a wall. I have no image. And I love it that way. It is important for me to leave my comfort zone and be brutally transparent. IT’s the only way others will truly see what ageing looks like! XOXOXOXO

  4. Anne M Bray says:

    I’m for real!
    Virgin hair! I’ve never dyed or permed it.
    The only makeup I wear is the VERY occasional red lip. When I need to feel super fancy.
    Large glasses make a satisfactory “face statement”.

    • Catherine says:

      Anne. You are a very very rare breed with that Virgin hair. I’ll bet it is gorgeous!!!! Oh how I love a red lip buy my mouth is way too wonky! XOXOXOXOXO

  5. Momcat says:

    Yeah what is up with the filters? Are they undermining the intelligence of their readers? I am 65 so I know that if a blogger is in her mid sixties she is going to have a few wrinkles. I was commiserating with another( younger) reader on another blog about how I am ‘bout to give up with the mature bloggers because it’s just link after link after bloody link with NO content. Don’t mind a lil monetizing but c’mon that’s not a blog it’s just a big advertisement and now they are filtering out the wrinkles and probably shilling some crazy expensive cream arrgh only to send me over to the link via rewardstyle so I can pay 300.00 for the ‘miracle’ cream that the blogger was ‘gifted!!!!’ And here is sweet Cathe showing us how to renovate a Poshmark purchased ‘it’ bag at a fraction of the price!!! You ROCK!
    Don’t EVAH call yourself UGLY!! Maybe ‘natural’? You are gorgeous with or without makeup, and we all know you have NO filters…which is why we love you!!
    Getting old ain’t for sissy’s, if they need filters they aren’t doing pro aging right.
    My younger( she is in her 50’s) reader friend said she has unsubscribed from a lot of ‘mature women’ blogs because she finds they don’t represent how she sees herself ‘pro aging’. I told her to check out your blog.

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Alison. O. M. G. You have NO idea at how many “mature” bloggers I’ve unsubscribed to. Look. I have an Amazon Store and I do receive products for review. Quite frankly, with my shitty job, the small amount of monetization I make comes in handy. However, I will NOT turn my blog into a shill boutique. I’ve got too much to say!
      But it pains me to see mature women–especially on Instagram and YouTube, showing other women our age how to look–all the while they are filtered!! Hello? Do you think I was born yesterday? It’s very important to me to be transparent. And my husband loves the fact that I did this post and an accompanying youtube tutorial. He said he was proud that I’m comfortable with myself to show the world how I look with a bare face–he said not many women my age would be so bold. And I thanked him because, quite frankly, I know what I look like when I look good.
      In addition, there must be a lot of less-than-intelligent women out there to believe that an over-60 woman would have skin as smooth as a baby’s ass! I hope your younger friend makes a stop in the neighborhood! XOXOXOXOXOXO

    • Catherine says:

      Check your email!

  6. YOu’re not going to like this. I much prefer the real you look to the filtered and fixed look. You look real.
    regarding your lips. They’re beautiful. I think it’s your thing because on screen they look beautiful. I’ve had two skin cancer surgeries on my lips also. You have lazy eyes, I have a bump on my forehead. We’ve all got something unless we have procedures to wipe them all away. My bump bothers me but then I’m told others don’t see it. Like your lips.

    You’re wonderful with makeup and have a great look. I appreciate your realness. Since I’ve been doing beauty stuff I’ve come to realize that many people have procedures so it’s delightful to see realness. I’ve got wrinkles and biopsy scars all over my face. I worry about having fillers and not looking like me. I’d hate that.

    So no filters or fillers for me. We’re holding the line! Do you think you’d have more followers with a face job? I doubt it. We all like you just the way you are. So does your husband.

    • Catherine says:

      Thank you Sandy! I love and appreciate what you are telling me. and I thank you. Isn’t it weird how we notice our flaws and others don’t? Ahhh. I wouldn’t want anyone following me because I’ve had work done. I like people being interested in what I have to say for–what I have to say!!! Thank you again–you are the voice of reason! XOXOXOXO

  7. Terry says:

    I’m 63 and very much appreciate your transparency. Filters annoy me and I find I don’t want to spend much time looking at faces that are covered with them. Imagine hanging out with a friend who had a sequined veil obscuring her face the whole time. No thanks! On a makeup note, I have both the Seint and Demi systems to play with and am enjoying them. I find that less is more at my age, but the “no makeup” look still requires a fair amount of makeup.🙂

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Terry! Isn’t it the truth though? Those filters are just ridiculous. How do you like the Demi system? I’m intrigued but am still in the “”do I or don’t I” try it. Less is definitely more these days and I’m looking forward to the sun kissing my mug in a couple of months! XOXOXOXO

  8. emjayandthem says:

    Fun!! could you post links to your Amazon page for the products used? You’re always a doll, Catherine!! Babealicious,
    MJ

    • Catherine says:

      Hi MJ. I did some editing on the post and added a link at the end of the post. As usual, WordPress had made changes and I am unable to give you the link through the reply! XOXOXOXO Check your email though!

  9. Nancy says:

    You mentioned moisturizer…which one do you recommend for dry and aging skin? Thanks in advance.

  10. Joan Brown says:

    Love your realness! That is precisely why I follow you- because I relate! Thanks for keeping it REAL!🥰

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