Off the bat, I don’t have much of an opinion on the Royal family of England. As I have a good deal of family in Ireland and the way England treated the Catholics, I am not enthralled but on the other hand, I don’t despise them. I’m non-committal.
The Royal Family. Believe it or not, I’m a royal too. Many people call me a Royal Pain-in-the-Ass!
However, I love me a good excuse to watch pomp and circumstance and weddings! I don’t care who is getting married. It’s a chance for me to look at ensembles both beautiful and horrific. And this royal wedding didn’t fail me!!
This scene from today’s Royal Wedding made me want to watch The Sound Of Music again. Maria‘s wedding to Captain von Trapp! Yeah!!!!
My big issues were how come my gurls Patsy and Eddie weren’t invited. Where was Sir Raymond Davies? Sir Elton John was there with his husband but what about my Kinky crush Sir Raymond?
I really, really want to know why Patsy and Eddie were not at that wedding! They would have been so much fun!
And where was my life-long crush–Sir Raymond Davies? Charles makes him a knight and doesn’t invite!
I hope Sir Elton John has a few drinks then sits down to belt out his OLD songs–like the ones from Tumbleweed Connection! His husband is a rather handsome tabby!
And why wasn’t I invited?????!!!! I’ll just drown my delusional sorrows with a few Kir Royals this evening.
Seriously. Where was MY invite? I even applied my makeup like Megan Markle’s and styled my wig like her wedding do! She inspired me today! Don’t we look alike?
And while it’s raining and pouring and dreary here in the Philadelphia area, I’m spending the day baking bread, baking gougères for the Frenchman and delighting in all things Megan Markle!
Gougeres. For our Kir Royals tonight!
The alarm, much to Bonaparte’s dismay, was set for 6:00 AM. I woke up, turned the TV on and my Frenchman rolled over and whispered in my ear…
“Why ahr ou wacheeng zis sheet” “Zeez pipoule..zee ar-is-toe-cratz..zahy do nosing”
(Translation: Why are you watching this shit? These people—the aristocracy—they do nothing”. My husband is still living the French Revolution)
My husband. A Parisien who is not a fan of the aristocrats. I like their weddings though!
To which I answered.
“I wanna look at the clothes and makeup!” (You would think that by now my Frenchman would be aware of how deeply shallow I am)
And that’s what I did. So, take a cup of tea or wine because it’s almost noon—or better yet, whip up a Tanqueray and Tonic—that’s what the Brits drink—and come along with me to the Royal Wedding.
I have no idea who this woman is but her dress was my absolute favorite of the day. Simple with those bell sleeves. If I lived in England perhaps I could have her hand-me-downs!
First of all, just the fact that the sun was shining in Britain today was proof that Hipster Jesus is a fan of the Royals. Harry and Megan had perfect weather! And Britain just acquired a new resident with beautiful teeth!
Watching all the friends and celebrities walk into the church with their wedding ensembles and headgear was such fun. Those Brits (as well as the Irish) put us Americans to shame when it comes to dressing for a wedding!
They do it right.
George and Amal were there. I used to love George Clooney. But since he married Amal, I’m not a fan anymore. Sure, Amal is gorgeous. But she looks like a snot. And he’s become incredible self-important. I would have scratched them off the list.
People were raving that Amal Clooney was the best dressed. I got news for you Amal. Philly soft pretzels and French’s mustard were NOT being served at the wedding. You didn’t have to wear a dress the same color as the mustard just in case you spilled some.
She’s got smug written all over her face! Wash she looking down at the crowds lining the streets–and how did these two get the seats in the “good” part of the church. Ugh.
Look at the lyrics on the hymnal sweetie–not at the photographer. You and Georgie are way too self-important. As Chris Rock says–“You’re not special”!!!!
David Beckham. Oona and I were texting how great he looked. His suit! *sigh* Why does his wife, Victoria always look miserable? Did she not get her British teeth fixed—she has all the money in the world. She has a successful clothing brand. She has a great looking husband and children. So why can’t she smile? I would be grinning from ear to ear if Harry and Megan invited me to their wedding.
OMG. David Beckham. THE David Beckham! Why does his wife look depressed? She can afford a ton of Zoloft–I’m sure her medical insurance is fabulous.
Wait! Is Mrs. B trying to smile or is she channeling her inner Mona Lisa. I’ll tell you this. I want her shoes. She’s got the best shoes of the day! But–her dress is too long. Two inches off of it would have made her one of the best dressed! IMHO!
The queen. For once in her life, she is wearing happy colors. She’s wearing my favorite Crayola Crayon color—Spring Green! Thank you, Queen Elizabeth, for wearing this astounding spring color because we went from no foliage here to a burst of summer green on the trees. I guess the trees were told to not bloom in the color you were wearing for the wedding.
92 year old pro-ager Elizabeth rocked my favorite crayon color. I swear this was the best look she’s ever worn!
Camilla Parker Bowles, Mrs. Prince Charles. Whatever her relationship with the Prince of Wails and Whines has been, she looks great in the color pink. But her hat—I wanted to eat it because it looked just like a fancy frosted cake.
That hat. It’s pink marshmallow and buttercream frosting and I want to take a bit out of it!
Sarah Ferguson. Holy shit!! If there was one wedding guest I was happy to see it was Fergie! I’ve missed her wild antics over the years and her suit made her one of the best-dressed guests in my eyes. If I had been invited to the wedding, I would definitely want to hang with her!
The return of Fergie! This makes me love Harry and Megan even more because Wills and Kate snubbed her and never invited this life-of-the-party to their wedding..
THIS is how the mature woman should dress for a wedding!!! Her suit is FABULOUS! And that length IS appropriate! Next to the Bride, Fergie gets my vote as best-dressed!
Another on the best-dressed list. Serena! I love her because she does her own nails. I often dream of being on a translantic flight and she’s sitting next to me and she says “I’m bored. Can I do your nails” And of course, I say back “OF COURSE!!” And then we become reallygood friends. Her very wealthy husband’s pants are too short. But I dig his socks!
Bishop Michael Curry of the Episcopal Church is my guy today. He’s as spicy as hot curry, he is! His homily was refreshing and he mentioned the Jesuits! The. Jesuits!! I sure hope that Mrs. and Mrs. Queen Elizabeth were wearing Depends for that one!!
This guy. I’m writing him a letter because if my daughter ever gets married I want him to be the priest. Episcopals are very close to Catholics you know. I hope he officiates for free because I’m poor.
The two princes. I’m a sucker for a man in uniform and those two–they also get a best-dressed nod from me!
I want a military coat like the one these two are wearing. Look how happy they are. I wish Diana was still alive!
Uh oh! Harry and I are so much alike. We both have the same bald spot. This is yet another reason I should have been invited. I could’ve Toppik’ed the bejesus out of that scalp and had him looking like he had a full head o’hair!
But to the bride. That dress. You know, I love my edgy-classic look and I’m a fan of short skirts and all that but Megan Markle Windsor (I guess that’s her new name—right?) knocked it clear out of the atmosphere in that Givenchy wedding dress. It was modest. But modest in the most classic, chic and elegant way. My first impression of the dress was that it reminded me of a Courreges design because of the simplicity. Then I thought it was a Givenchy because it had a bit of an Audrey Hepburn vibe. When I found it my guess was correct, I was on cloud nine!
That dress. Be still my heart!! There is nothing about that dress that isn’t perfection! The neckline. Those sleeves. It is so simple but so elegant. The greatest wedding dress of all time! Givenchy’s house got it right!
Look, while I realize that many brides opt for lace and the strapless look, I’ve always thought that sleeves would be more appropriate for a church wedding. And the fact there was no embellishment on the dress was even more endearing. The focus was on the beauty of the bride.
I just cannot get enough of this dress. It’s about time someone brought a modest bridal look to a church. I’ve always thought the strapless gowns were a bit inappropriate for a church wedding and not every bride looks great in a strapless dress. This is a universally flattering bridal look for every bride to be! I absolutely love it!
And a beauty she was and is!
She’s so gorgeous!
If these two were any cuter it would be a crime!
She’s just perfect!
My biggest disappointment, and I almost got flamed on Instagram for my thoughts. I thought that Megan Markle’s mother could have been styled in a brighter look. Doria Ragland was the mother of the bride! The mother of the bride! We can see where Markle gets her beauty—from her mom! And while I do realize that there is a certain protocol of dress that Ms. Ragland had to follow, the stylists could have given her a more fitted dress and perhaps she could have been in yellow or violet. Fergie’s stylist should have taken a visit to Ms. Ragland–she looked beautiful but could have looked even more beautiful!
Seriously. Doria Ragland is so beautiful. She’s a mature woman and that dress did nothing to showcase her figure or beauty. A more fitted frock and a dash more color and she would have been perfect.
And I felt bad that she was sitting alone in the back row of the “important” area. For crissakes—Clooney and his snotty-looking wife had better seats!
You know I get very emotional and this photo made me cry. Yes!! I started crying because I didn’t want her sitting alone. And she’s not even in the area with the lights. They placed Clooney and his snooty wife in a better place. I want to be friends with Megan’s mom! She has such kind eyes! Harry better be good to her!!
Give the mother-of-the-bride her proper respects! Please.
Megan’s mom should have been seated next to Prince Charles and Camilla! Who did the seating arrangements anyway?
I also wasn’t impressed with Kate Middleton’s outfit but she gets a pass because she looked ravishing after just giving birth.
I’m wondering if at the reception Kate said to William “Honey, be a prince will ya? I just gave birth so its your turn to watch the kids. I’m going to get a Long Island Iced Tea”
Did she really give Camilla the side eye? Ohhhh…it’s just like my family!
Was it because Camilla thought the wedding programe was a menu?
Camilla is reading that thing like a person suffering from hunger pangs is reading a dinner menu. My guess is Kate doesn’t eat. She’s like Patsy Stone!!!!!
This beautiful fantasy wedding was such a well-needed diversion from everything bad that’s going on in our world. From politics to mass murders. This was a bright spot.
This brightened all our lives today!
And to see a loving inter-racial couple who only have eyes for each other was even more thrilling and is a glimpse of hope for us.
What a lovely day and what a lovely wedding!
Long may these two young marrieds thrive. I hope they stay together forever and raise a beautiful family.
Tonight, to celebrate this new couple, (On my part—the Frenchman thinks I’m nuts—but he’s French!) I’ve set the table for a royal meal. The gougères have been baked, and bread has been baked and we will dine on chicken breasts cooked with roma tomatoes, olives and basil. And a healthy salad.
In all honesty, when Bonaparte came downstairs and saw the table set like this, he was thrilled and went downstairs to get the “good” wine. I’m sure its really because he wants to watch some crazy Netflix series and if I drink the good stuff I’ll fall asleep right away!
Have a royal evening—and think of all the love that has been spread across the world today!
This has always been one of my favorite Elton John songs. I like 70’s Elton John better than Disney Elton John anyway. Your Song…