Cooking for the Frenchman. Who Inspires Me?

Whew!  It’s early Sunday afternoon.  My morning started off very aggressively.  I cleaned the baseboards throughout our home.

This is not my idea of fun. I would rather be cooking!

Trust me. This wasn’t an easy job. I had to get down on my hands and knees with a toothbrush!  And three hours later, I feel as though the house is spanking clean and Holiday prep has officially begun!

The baseboards are now cleaned–as are all the vents in the house.  I want to paint now!

That expensive Ethan Allen sofa in the living room, the one that has been discontinued so I can’t purchase additional slipcovers anymore, had seat cushions that saw better days.  Considering the sofa is over ten years old it’s been holding up pretty well with the exception of the seat cushions.

Those cushions have seen better days for sure!

We did inquire at Ethan Allen if the cushions could be replaced.  And for the price of over $900, they could.  Someone would come to our home and fix the cushions right there.  We decided to shop around.

And locally, right up the road, we found an upholstery place!  We took the cushions there yesterday, at Bonaparte’s suggestion.

If you live in the Philly area, might I suggest saving this information should you need upholstery or draperies?

We explained that we needed the seat cushions replaced.  The owner zipped open the cushions and told us that they were very well constructed and underneath the down part of the cushions, the foam was shot.

Mr. Basile, assessing the worn cushion!

He is replacing the foam in the cushions for the wonderfully affordable price of $200.  That’s $700 less than Ethan Allen.  We pick our cushions up next week.

Poor Chippy!  He’s dazed and confused that his comfort cushions are temporarily unavailable!

It pays to shop around and to shop local businesses!

And Friday had me doing some sleuthing.  One of Bonaparte’s friends told him about a new “French” restaurant that opened up in Wayne.  La Jolie.  He was also told that on one of the walls, is a poster-sized copy of a photograph that his grandfather, Jacques-Henri Lartigue was known for.

I’m pretty sure this is the poster of Renee Paris that JHL photographed is the one in La Jolie!

Naturally, this was intriguing to him and he asked me to call the restaurant to make dinner reservations for next weekend.  But before I called, my wonderful Frenchman asked me to find out if the restaurant had Steak-Frites on the menu.  Now—since this is a new restaurant, there is no website.  This bothered me. A lot. I like to see a restaurant’s website. I worry if there is none!

We’ll be having dinner here next weekend. I hope the food is good.

So, with Chippy in tow, we drove into Wayne to check this place.  I found the menu in the window, snapped a photo and called for reservations.

I think I’m becoming French by osmosis because I am not impressed with this menu.  In a true French Bistrot, items like sweetbreads, brains, and kidneys would be available.  And yes, I am the person who would order those items!

Yeah. That would be me taking photos of the menu. How else am I gonna find out what is served since La Jolie has NO website!

But, as a new restaurant and pretty-much local, I’m looking forward to dining there. I’ll probably order the rabbit!

I’m not kidding you when I tell you how serious Bonaparte was when he asked if I could find out if steak-frites was served.  He lives for this dish and that’s how he judges any French restaurant.

Being married to a Frenchman is a very unique experience when it comes to food.  There’s food and then there’s food.  The meals we eat during the week tend to be very simple.  He works all day and wants to relax in the evening.  Weeknight dinners are quick and easy.

But when the weekend comes, it’s a different story.

We dine.  And I recreate his favorite French meals. Thankfully, I love doing this. Sometimes, he’ll suggest a dish that he wants.  Even though pizza isn’t a French dish, the French do love them their pizza.  It has to be a super-thin crust and with traditional toppings. No Hawaiian pizza with the ham and pineapple.  Instead, a simple Margherita pizza is the favored choice.

Now—I’ve never made a home-made pizza before. I’m not a fan of pizza.  At all. And on the rare occasions when I do eat pizza, it has to be white.  As much as I love tomatoes, I cannot stand tomato sauce.

Anyway, Bonaparte asked me if I could try making pizza.  I took the challenge and was inspired by his suggestion.  I found a great pizza dough on the site Epicurious, made the dough a day ahead and on Friday night, we had a pizza dinner.  Anchovies were added to B’s pizza; mine had home-made pesto and cheese.

Bonaparte was thrilled with the pizza I made for him.  This is a keeper!

I, too, was happy. Happy with my pesto pizza.  

The verdict?  B loved the pizza so much that he requested it be placed on a regular Friday evening rotation.

Last night’s feast was Magret de Canard, duck breasts, with an orange sauce, as requested by Monsieur Lartigue.  Now—I love duck but I’m not crazy about oranges.  I love orange blossom perfume, but the round orb of citrus is not my fruit of choice. Then I thought about my dad’s favorite meal—Duck L’Orange, he ordered it whenever he and my mom went out for dinner.  And I thought—ok. I’ll look for a recipe for the sauce.

Ahhhh.  Duck breasts!  I call it the steak of game!  I wish it weren’t so pricey though!

Overwhelmed by the huge amount of orange sauce recipes, I figured screw it, I’ll create my own.  And because of B’s request and the fact that my dad loved duck in orange sauce, both men inspired me to create my own sauce.

B’s only suggestion for the sauce was that it contain Grand Marnier.  It gets good.

Off I went into the kitchen.  I had my herbs, thyme, and rosemary and tied them together so they could infuse the sauce. Fresh oranges for the juice and slices; marmalade; shallots; chicken stock; butter; and Cointreau rounded up the ingredients.  Bonaparte was running errands and I couldn’t find the Grand Marnier. No big deal because Cointreau is orange flavored.

I reduced the sauce until it was a good syrupy consistency.  I tasted it. This was some good stuff-why hadn’t I been a fan of orange sauce?  When B returned home, I asked him to try the sauce.  His eyes were focused on the Cointreau bottle on the counter.  He went into French mode and was almost crying because I hadn’t used the Grand Marnier.  I dunno—he was mumbling in French that Cointreau wasn’t the same as Grand Marnier.

My Orange Sauce.  I took the herbs out before serving.  I have to say, this tasted pretty darned good!!

My face said it all, and he tasted the sauce without the Grand Marnier.  He loved it!  I knew I had a winner!  And when he asked that I make more sauce, I added the Grand Marnier.

With this I served spinach and the Pommes de Terre that was inspired by the restaurant over on Place Dauphine that we regularly visit—Chez Paul.

Did I mention the potatoes are cooked in Duck fat?  Last night’s feast!  

But before the main plate, our entrée was the salmon rillettes that I make that are inspired by Chef Eric Ripert’s salmon rillettes.

I wonder if Chef Eric Ripert realizes how much of an inspiration his salmon rillettes are for me.  It is now a regular rotation on our chateau’s menu!!!

These are always served with the Pullman loaf bread that I make on a weekly basis.  The bread, toasted, serves as a strong base for this wonderful and easy starter!

Home-baked bread and Ripert-inspired Salmon Rillettes.  What could be better?

Dessert was very special and was inspired by French pastry chef, Jacques Genin.  Let me explain this one.  I’ve been bingeing on the new season of “Mind of a Chef”—I’ll get back to this.    Jacques Genin has a patisserie in Paris.  He creates chocolates, sweets, and fabulous desserts.

Oh, if only this guy knew that he inspired me to make a dessert.  I don’t know how he would feel!

One of the desserts he is known for is the Paris-Brest, a choux pastry shaped like a wheel and filled with Hazelnut and almond praline cream.

Jacques Genin’s Paris-Brest looks a lot better than mine!  This is his!

Always on the search for a great Christmas dessert, I thought I would challenge myself and if it worked out, it could be one of the desserts for Christmas dinner.

I carefully made the praline paste on Friday.

I made a brittle out of the hazelnuts and almonds. Then I processed until a buttery paste was formed…

Vanilla pastry cream was made next…

I whipped the pastry cream and added the praline paste. Then I whipped heavy cream and folded the two to get this luscious praline cream filling!

The choux pastry before the oven and after baking.  Then I split the “wheel” in half and filled with the cream!

Yesterday I made the choux pastry and after dinner filled it.  OK. So, it didn’t turn out looking as beautiful as Jacques Genin’s, but it tasted great and the praline cream was freaking amazeballs!  This dessert was a hit with my Frenchman and I will be making it for Christmas.  Now that I can say I’ve worked out any glitches, I know the next one will be more beautiful to the eyes!

The finished Paris-Brest.  It isn’t perfect, but the taste was incredible!  I’m proud of myself for this one…

The praline cream was so good that I’ll be making more to fill some cream puffs that I’ve got in the freezer!

 

 

Don’t ever be afraid to try this.  I got the recipe from Epicurious but I will be tweaking the next one. I want the cream to be a bit thicker! Epicurious Paris Brest recipe.

Genin’s inspiration came from Season Five of “Mind of a Chef”. This season’s focus is on Chef Ludo Lefebvre. However, when I saw that Paris-Brest dessert, I had to try making it.

It’s funny because Bonaparte reminded me that my first attempt at making his favorite dessert of all time, Crème Caramel, was a complete fail. So was the second and third and fourth.  For some reason, I just could not get the caramel right nor could I get the baking time correct.  The fifth attempt was a charm.  I took my time and realized not all ovens are alike. I adjusted the cooking time and the result was a perfect crème caramel—which I regularly make without thinking!

Creme Caramel.  I thought I would never get this right–and after a few attempts, I did! Don’t give up!

It takes time and practice, practice, practice until you get it right!  And when you are both determined and married to a Frenchman, you try until you do get it right!  I’m French-trained–by Bonaparte!

Chef Ludo Lefebvre and his cute-as-a-button wife, Kristine.  Hey. She knows what it’s like to be married to a Frenchman!  

Hmmmm….who will be my inspiration for tonight?

Tonight’s inspiration will be from Chef Ludo.

Besides his great cooking, I’ve never seen a Frenchman with teeth as perfect has Chef Ludo’s!!!

His omelette.  French style. There are no brown edges or an overdone middle in this recipe.  It is a barely cooked in the center and the outside of the omelette is shiny and yellow.  The middle filled with Boursin cheese.  Sounds easy but it isn’t.  It’s a feat to get that omelette to undercooked perfection. And that’s ok because I’ve got a dozen eggs that I can practice on!

I’m wondering if perfecting this omelette will take as many times as perfecting my creme caramel?  I hope not!

 Some food for thought–who inspires you to cook?  Are you inspired by others to cook?

Here’s a great video. It’s Chef Ludo with Jacques Genin and his Paris Brest.  From Season 5 of “Mind of a Chef”.  I highly suggest watching this season on Netflix. You’ll end up bingeing!

 

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Time To Do (Home) Work

Let it be known that I am not the most organized person on earth.  It’s weird because when I lived in New Jersey, I was very obsessive about the appearance and cleanliness of my home.  I’m pretty sure that it’s been mentioned in past blog posts that I vacuumed the house twice a day because of the dogs.

Twice a day baby. That was me. Vacuuming was even more important than getting my lip waxed!

 I also got down on my hands and knees three times a day to scrub the kitchen floor.

Just call me “momderella”!!

Those days are gone. I love a clean home—don’t get me wrong. In fact, next week I’ll be scrubbing all the baseboards in the house to prepare for Holiday cleaning.  But the fact is, I’m terribly disorganized.

This would be me. Too impatient to do things the correct way and my shortcuts never work out!

You can be clean and still be disorganized.  I’m a closet slob. No matter how much I try, the disorganization gene just overpowers any attempt to be perfectly organized.

But my disorganization came to a climax yesterday and I couldn’t take it anymore.  My closet hadn’t been seasonally purged in over a year.  Yes. It’s true.  And even though I’m not a capsule wardrobe woman, a good amount of my wardrobe needed to be encapsulated.  In bins.

It is true. I’m disgraceful.  I couldn’t even FIND clothes in this closet. Something had to be done!

Think about it.  Why would I get rid of future “vintage” clothing?

And now that I’m “Bullet Journaling”, I jotted down things that I had to do.

Like, get plastic bins to store the clothing away.  And go to David’s Tea to refill my Lapsang Souchong Black Tea.

Hands down, THE best tea on earth. It is so smoky and strong and delicious. I love this stuff!

With Chippy in the car, off we went to begin my transformation of disorganization.

I don’t think Chippy wanted to go to the mall–he’d rather be playing ball!

First stop was King of Prussia Mall—that’s where David’s Tea is located.  I parked the car in my usual spot in the covered parking lot by Nordstrom.  I rolled the windows down to a safety measure so that Chippy would have plenty of air. God forbid a do-gooder; dog police extremist should hear his bark.

And as I stepped out of the car, Chippy started to cry.  Trust me, I’ve been around dogs long enough to know the difference between a bark and a dog cry.  Obviously, my baby didn’t like the covered parking lot.

I needed my tea.  The only solution was to bring Chippy with me.  I could always use the explanation that he’s a service dog but ate his little “Service Dog” cover.

Luckily, dogs are quite welcomed at the KOP mall!  And I was thrilled that my little man was behaving.  David’s Tea is on the upper level.  Chippy refused to go on the escalator so we were elevated instead—which he loved.

My little flirt had the best time at David’s where he made a couple of friends.

Look how happy Chippy is.  Trust me,  the thought crossed my mind to have this nice woman from David’s dog sit while I went shopping with money I don’t have!

Tea in hand, I decided to see if he would be welcomed at J. Crew!  Oh. Happy. Day!  He was the center of attention at my favorite store.  Now I know that Chippy can be my new shopping partner!

Back in the car, Chippy satisfied because he was able to wrap the entire world around his paw and we were off to get my bins.

Ahhhh Walmart!  Black bins, which I’m assuming are to be used to store Halloween decorations and costumes, were in the Halloween clearance section for $5 each. I bought two.

These five buck bins held more than you would think.  I was so happy to place my future “vintage” clothing in these things!

Back home and ready to purge.

And what did I notice?  Jesus fell off the cross.

My buddy Jesus fell off the cross!  Look at the hole in his hand. NO WAY was I putting nails through his hands to attach him back on that cross.  Jesus–you’s a free man now!

Let me explain.  I have a very old crucifix.  It belonged to my parents.  When you slide the top of the crucifix down there is a hole on each side to place candles and there is a small bottle of Holy Water.  I never got around to hanging it because it is old and I’m afraid that I’ll bump into it, it’ll fall and get ruined.

The poor thing was no better left in the bowels of my closet.  I guess the nails were so brittle that they gave way and Jesus fell off the cross.  I’m afraid to nail him back onto it.  It’s that Catholic Guilt and fear.

We’ll get back to Jesus in a bit.

Anyway, I took all the summer clothes out and rolled some of them and folded others into the bins.  I also went into a chest of drawers and continued my purge.

Two bins–filled to the brim.  And they are now in the garage that I need to clean!

There is such a feeling of accomplishment when organization takes place—even when you are of the organizational-challenged group of people in this world, you can still get that special feeling!

Look how nice my closet is now!  Dresses, pants, and skirts on one side and shirts on the other.  Can you see how much I love plaid?

It hasn’t stopped there either.   I decided that we need to purge our garage.  We moved into our home three years ago.  And to date, we have not tackled the garage.

I’m seriously tempted to call the Junk Man and have him take everything away!  Ugh.  The thought of tackling this makes me want a few shots of Bourbon!

Today I went out and purchased a heavy-duty work light because the lighting in the garage sucks.  It’s going to be an all-day chore to purge this non-room but the good thing is that’ll be great exercise!

The nice man from Walmart was so kind to me. He told me to MAKE SURE I keep the receipt and RETURN the light after I use it and say that it didn’t work right!  I love the kindness of strangers!  This is true. Gotta love Walmart!

It’s now late Friday afternoon.  Bonaparte just arrived home and tonight after aperitifs, I will attempt to make home-made pizza.   Tomorrow’s feast will be Magret de Canard with an Orange sauce and for dessert, I’m giving the French dessert, Paris-Brest a go.  (Click the name–its the Epicurious recipe and I’m using it!)

My Paris-Brest won’t look as good as this!!! But–I’ll try until I get it right!

Stay tuned…….

In the meantime, I made a video yesterday about styling skinny jeans. And if I keep cooking like this, I won’t be wearing skinny jeans for long!

OH!!! Back to Jesus.  He’s lying on his cross—not nailed!  And he’s resting atop one of my J. Crew shoeboxes!

He is now at rest watching over my shoes! 

Tell me.  Are you a closet slob?  Are you as disorganized as I am?  Please let us know!!!!

Enjoy the weekend!! XOXOXOXO  And enjoy my ill-fitting wig as I style skinny jeans!!!

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When the Deeply Shallow is Stressed, She Watches TV

My apologies for being lost in action the past few days.  Truth be told, I’ve been stressed.

How stressed was I?  I ate five Kit Kat bars and four Heath Bars from the stash of Halloween candy.  I gained 5 pounds, which I thought was going to be more.  So now I’m back to counting points and being choosy about carbs and dairy.

Those Heath Bars–I ate more than I stated.  Kit Kats too.  I’m now back to counting points and calories.  I need to cut on the carbs too! But, I’ll admit. Halloween candy is the best for stress-eating!

Being out of work basically, sucks.  It sucks not because I don’t have a current job, but it sucks because I have no steady income.

Buh bye money honey.  I miss you–but that’s about all I miss!

And the worst part is that I told the boys and Oona that it would be a good idea if we didn’t exchange Christmas gifts this year because I just can’t afford to do so.  With no disposable income, everything is going toward the mortgage, car payments, my affordable health care, utility bills, insurance for the automobiles, and food.

Actually, the worst part of that was the fact that all three kids were fine with it.  All three said there wasn’t anything they wanted except to be together during the Holidays.  I’m blessed.

Add to that, I’m not networking very well.  I haven’t as much as wrote a sentence for my book, my YouTube channel is absolutely horrific because I lack the skills to edit and script, and my lack of subscribers makes marketing the blog very difficult.

What’s a deeply shallow individual supposed to do when the unsuccessful life she leads makes her stressed?

Yeah, well, besides a nap I need a good weekend of binge-watching TV!!!  Get the tee shirt and jeans off and get the PJ’s on!

Why—she watches TV!!! That’s what she does I did I’ve been doing!!!

And my new favorite TV show is “At Home With Amy Sedaris”.  It’s only three episodes in and already it’s a bag of chips and more!

Amy is the perfect next door neighbor. She can do EVERYTHING!!!!!

I love Amy Sedaris.  (Did I mention that her brother, David is my favorite author?)

Amy, a cute elfin sprite of a woman, had a show some years back.  The show was “Strangers With Candy”. In a nutshell, the show was about a woman, Jerri Blank. Jerri was a runaway.  An ex-con and drug addict, if you will.  She returns home to Flatpoint at the age of 47 and returns to high school—as a Freshman.  The show was hysterically funny—or at least it hit my humor button. And I was hooked and watched every episode.  I also love the fact that Sedaris isn’t afraid to make herself look less than beautiful.

Sedaris as Jerri Blank in the show “Strangers With Candy”.  I need to binge watch this again!

Anyway, her new show is Pee-Wee’s Playhouse for grown women! She lives in a cute almost animated looking house.  It’s colorful and fun.  She does crafts—just like Katie Brown and Martha Stewart.

I can’t WAIT for Amy’s Christmas Crafting!  Look!  Jane Krakowski is helping her.  Amy has such cool friends!

She cooks—just like The Barefoot Contessa and Martha Stewart.

27056_003 At Home with Amy Sedaris 102 – Alison Rosa

Dare I attempt to make this Shrimp and Olive tree the next times we have guests?   Amy has the happiest kitchen!

  She has “friends” who stop by—like Stephen Colbert and Paul Giamatti.  (My favorite one, though is Nick Kroll—playing the creepiest but funniest guy trying to get into Amy’s pants).

That Amy, she gifted Stephen Colbert with a raisin necklace and an ice cream she made–all because he sat her turtle!!

Nick Kroll is so hip.  Does this scene look familiar?  Amy is teaching Nick how to make an ice cream cake. Things are getting awfully hot–hope that ice cream doesn’t melt!!

Paul Giamatti was a very naughty businessman who stayed beyond dinner time at Amy’s house!  Ohlala!!!

She is bubbly and effervescent and always positive. And that is why I love this show so much.  It makes me laugh at my own lack of perfection and my attempts to be the perfect hostess/crafter/cook.

She even covers skin care–just like you-know-who!!!

And sometimes things go wrong–but look at that chair.  I want it!

Overall, she’s a cross between Donna Reed and June Cleaver!  Sort of….

I wish Amy Sedaris was my friend! And thanks to Amy, I channeled her and made a five-minute Christmas wreath that is now ready to be hung in the house!  I hope Bonaparte likes it!

Before…a twig wreath, cranberry embellishments and plaid ribbon. All less than $12!

After.  My five-minute wreath.  No hot glue needed either!  Easy Peasy.  I can’t wait to hang this up!

And I’ve binged on Fuller House.  YES!!! I did!  I spent last Sunday in bed.  All day. Watching Seasons Two and the first half of Season Three.

There is a special place in my heart for “Fuller House”.  This is a continuation of the wonderful “Full House”.  It takes place where Full House left off—only years later.

Just when you think TV can’t get any cornier–it does!  But in the best way!

And Fuller House is even more corny than the original.  There are “ohhhhhs” and “awwwws” and enough canned laughter to last through a nuclear holocaust.  It is rife with dopey innuendo and the most cloyingly precocious children.  Danny Tanner, Uncle Joey, Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky make appearances.  And Aunt Becky looks fabulous. It’s not fair.

Oh yes.  The New Kids On The Block choreography as well as NKOTB are back this season!

The same ridiculous catchphrases are back.  “Oh Mylanta!”  “How Rude!”  “You Got It Dude!”  Thirty years later, it warms my innards when I hear those words.

Kimmy Gibbler is back and she should be a guest on Amy Sedaris’ show. They would make a great pair.   This time around she is engaged to her Latino ex-husband (don’t even). Stephanie Tanner is coupled with Kimmy’s brother Jimmy.

My favorite subplot is the romance between Stephanie Tanner and Jimmy Gibbler!!

The story lines are just as convoluted as the old ones. With one twist that is really starting to get on my nerves.  DJ Tanner, now a widowed DJ Fuller, is in the middle of a love triangle.  Her old high school boyfriend Steve or the handsome vet she works with, Matt.  Just for the record, I’m team Matt.

And my least favorite subplot is DJ’s indecisiveness with Matt…or Steve?   TEAM MATT!!!

But silly storylines aside.  The reason that this show calms down my stress level is because the show is about family.  Extended family.  And no matter how crazy things get, you always have your loved ones to make you whole.

In the end, it’s about family; no matter how corny!

DJ Tanner-Fuller has always been that organized, well-grounded big sister.  She plans.  She has it under control.  And I’m now channeling my inner DJ by making another attempt at Bullet Journaling.

My third attempt this year. Let’s hope third time’s a charm thanks to DJ!!

I need to get organized—about my blog, my book and my channel. With the holidays coming I need to get prepared and seeing visual lists and making entries of what needs to be done and what I have done will only help that.  Thank you, DJ!!

My last binge is a series on Netflix.  It is a remake of a movie from 1986.  The movie was a TV one. The Worst Witch.  I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve watched this with my kids when they were younger.  We had the VHS tape and DVD!  The movie was based on the series of books by Jill Murphy.

My favorite version of The Worst Witch!  Charlotte Rae, Diana Rigg, Tim Curry  and Fairuza Balk.  This movie was epic!

The original cast stars Charlotte Rae is Miss Cackle, Diana Rigg as Miss Hardbroom, Fairuza Balk as Mildred Hubble and the amazing Tim Curry as The Grand Wizard!

It was everything I needed to help me forget about my worries, anxieties, and stress. And instead, I remembered watching the adventures of Mildred Hubble with Jake when he was three years old—and then Roman and then Oona.  And for two Halloweens in a row, Oona was Mildred Hubble for Halloween.

I wish I could find the photos of Oona dressed like Mildred Hubble!!

Naturally, I was very intrigued when surfing the Netflix choices and came upon the new Worst Witch series.  And since I had no plans to get out of bed on Saturday, except to cook dinner, I decided to have a go at binge-watching.

I felt extra-special about binge-watching this series because my son Jake now works for Netflix!

And I’ve always loved the idea of having magic powers and being able to cast spells. And the great thing is that the witches of Miss Cackle’s Academy ultimately learn that it is better to follow the Witches Code and to use your powers for good over evil.

Perhaps I’m drawn to this show because of the uniforms!  I can’t help it!

And the newest Miss Cackle is so sweet and nice!!

There’s a little of Mildred Hubble in us all.  We are Mildred when we make mistakes. We are Mildred when others make fun and even despise us.  But in the end, we Mildred’s are the winners when we are able to bypass how others see us and we remain strong and positive.

Mildred screws up flying the way I screw up driving.  But it’s cool!

Today is Wednesday. I’ve had my few days of rest and I’ve de-stressed a bit.  I’m ready to move onward and upward.  The weather is where it should be on this November first.  There is a crisp chill in the air.  It is time to get the scarfs and boots out of hibernation.

It was so exciting to get dressed in jeans and boots, a blazer and a SCARF today!!!!!  

It is time to start the big clean for Christmas.  It is also time to plan the desserts that I will be bringing over to my sister’s in-law’s after Thanksgiving Dinner.

Every now and then we need to take a step back.  We need to stay in bed for a day. We need to relax either by reading or watching silly tv shows.  It’s time to rewind.

So, tell me, how do you rewind when you are stressed?  Do you give yourself a pajama weekend?  Stay in bed? Sit on the sofa all day with a big comfy blanket around your body?  It’s a good time to talk about this because many of us will be a bit stressed or depressed around the Holidays and we need to have support so let’s support each other!!!

And sticking to the Fuller House theme,  Jodie Sweetin, who plays Stephanie Tanner is a very gifted singer. I can’t get this song out of my head!

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Don’t Let The Dior Hit You On The Way Out!

Today I am seething.  This time it is over the ever-ageist ways of cosmetics companies.

Yes, my friends. MORE real tawk from me!!!  

And what I find so discouraging is that in September, Allure magazine had one of its best cover photos ever. Helen Mirren—and the magazine made a promise to stop using the term “anti-aging”.

Thank you Allure, not only for the beautiful Helen Mirren gracing your September cover, but for your promise to stop using the phrase “anti-aging”. Unfortunately, it has fallen upon deaf ears!

All well and good.

But even though Allure promises us to end that offensive term, cosmetics companies still use the phrase and even worse, cosmetics companies seemingly lower their target buyers to the younger demographic.

The new demographic of beauty and cosmetics companies!

Dior cosmetics has just announced that 25-year old model Cara Delevigne is the new spokesmodel for their “Capture Youth” campaign

Cara Delevigne–Dior’s Capture Youth new spokesperson. Read about her in W’s article

Now—Ms. Delevigne is a beautiful woman. She of the naturally oversized eyebrows and pouty mouth.  She has balls, she does, because in a world that is so focused on perfection, she shaved her head, dyed her hair some interesting colors and marches to the beat of her own drum. And for that, she has my respect.

She’s actually quite feisty–which is great, but at 25 years old to be an “anti-aging” spokesperson?  Don’t get me started…

But—she is only 25 years old!  Come on Dior!!!  You know very well that the target demographic of your company has always been an older group. Your target group has been the 30-to 55-year old group. And, like Estee Lauder and other cosmetics companies, you’ve jumped ship on a group of women that has money to spend, all because you want to grab the youth market.

This photo from Paris Perfect showcases outfits from the Dior exhibit in Paris.  Now, do you seriously think that Monsieur Dior was designing for the under 25 femme?  I wonder how he would feel about his cosmetics company’s recent decision? 

I swear I have so many thoughts going on in my head right now that I can’t even…

And randomly, I am going to just write those thoughts down.

Dior is a French company.  Older women are revered in France.  Older women are considered beautiful, chic, and wise in France. And so, I find it ironic that Dior, a French company, would ditch the older woman and gear all cosmetics and skincare needs toward the young demographic.

Carine Roitfeld, former editor of French Vogue is, IMHO, the embodiment of the refined older French woman.  She doesn’t even wear foundation! No fillers. No nuthin’!

Hmmm. I wonder how Carine feels about the “anti-aging” phrase. For some reason, I’ll bet she can’t stand it!

Although I haven’t yet seen any “Capture Youth” products, here is a sampling of a couple of the “Capture Totale” items by Dior.

 

This moisturizer will cost you $165 for two ounces worth of product and packaging that looks like a million bucks!

This Dior serum is $225. for 1.7 ounces.   Let’s see now.  You can get fabulous serums from The Ordinary on the average of around $8.00.  My favorite serum of all time, Skin Actives Collagen serum is $16.00 for one ounce.  Hmmmmm. Hummmm! I guess that under-25 demographic is loaded with Benjamins to spend!

This stuff is expensive.  Now—most of the “25-year old” group and younger—and even a bit older, have had a hard time finding jobs after graduating college.  Many are still living with mommy and daddy. And those who are out of the house—well, a great deal of their take-home pay is spent on their apartment rentals, utilities, food and social lives.

As I said, many young adults are forced to move back home–is that how these young women can afford a serum for $225????

Younger girls will either go into debt to purchase very expensive cosmetics, won’t eat anything except tuna fish or ramen noodles (back in my day it was Tab soda and Marlboro Lights) so they can afford cute clothes and pricey makeup, or they will hit up mommy and daddy for “help”.

Most of the mommies and daddies I know just tell the adults to deal with adulting.

So you can’t afford $165 for a moisturizer?  Deal with it!  You are an adult now. Buy the store brand! Mommy does and it works!

That leaves me with this.  Who is going to buy this stuff anyway?? The privileged one-percent?  Those who work in the beauty industry and get a steep discount?  Those who are only obsessed with brand names?

Let me tell you something.   My daughter, Oona, went to the dermatologist two days ago.  We had a conversation before she went and she happened to use the offensive phrase “anti-aging” to me. OK?

Oona thinks she has lines on her face.  She doesn’t. But I’m thrilled that she is owning skin care!  And I’m glad that her dermatologist agrees with me on “Pro-aging!”

I went off on a tangent about how bad that phrase is and that it is offensive to all women because the second you leave the uterus and hit the air, you are starting to age!  After I told her that the correct term should be “PRO-aging”, I also told her to relay what I said to her dermatologist.

Basically, at 28 years old, Oona wants to get into some serious skin care and that makes me happy.  And might I add that my daughter can afford to spend serious buckaroos on this.  A few hours after her appointment, she called me, told me her skin check was fine, she has a prescription to help in her “pro-aging” and that her dermatologist agreed with me on the “pro-aging” term.

Mommy is always right!

But back to this “Capture Youth” campaign.  Do you really want to capture your youth again?  I don’t.   My youth was fun but it was also a very awkward time.  It was a time of my being unsure of myself.  I made so many mistakes.

I like being older.  I don’t necessarily like the loss of gravity on my face—that bothers me more than lines and wrinkles.

This is me. 62 years worth of pro-aging. The only thing I want to capture at this point is good health and a winning lottery ticket.  That’s it!

And even when we do have wrinkles and lines on our faces—it isn’t the end of the world!  We use products to hydrate and soften our skin. It’s called pro-aging!!

Yeah, Dior.  I have a couple of your lip products. And I like them.  I won’t throw them in the trash—not after the amount of money I spent but I will use them until there is no more. And every time I use them, I will be reminded of what an ageist company you are.  And when there is no more product, I won’t replenish.  Not now. Not ever. Never! Only when you return to your target audience will I return to you.

Dior Addict Ultra Gloss. It’s nice but I’m not repurchasing. At $30, I would have been better off purchasing drugstore lip gloss! My Fenty Lip Bomb was only $18.00

Another $30 Dior lip product. Creme de Rose Lip Balm.  It’s nice but I won’t be repurchasing this either.

Before I end this little rant, I do want to thank three companies that are mature woman-friendly.  One is the Deciem Company, creators of The Ordinary foundation.  This company does Collab’s with older, mature women and isn’t into marketing or the kind of campaign that leaves certain demographic groups out.   I support this company.

The other two are skin care companies. Vivant Skin Care and Skin Actives.  Both carry on their business similar to Deciem—word of mouth.  Companies that are mature woman-friendly will always have my support.

It’s also upsetting to me that we are living in a society that places too much on perfection. What is the message that the beauty industry is giving to these young women?  That you need Botox and fillers in your twenties?  That you aren’t pretty or attractive if you have any lines or wrinkles? That it’s wrong to age?

Do we strive to be like this???

Get with it Dior and all those other cosmetics and beauty companies.  It isn’t anti-aging. It is pro-aging. And take note of who your real customers are.

Oy Vey!  I gotta go find my sense of humor. It got lost and I need it back!!!

That’s right–mommy has to find her sense of humor. I may have found it!!!

Let me end this with a video I made this morning.  Have a look at a real woman (me) with no work done.  I did a neutral face because I went to have my Passport photo taken.  Just my luck, the photo was taken but couldn’t be printed because the printer broke. I have to go back tomorrow.

Enjoy the video—and please subscribe to my channel because I am trying to give a voice to our demographic-it’s very important to me-! Thank you!! Tell your friends and frenemies! XOXOXOXO

 

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REAL Men Don’t Get Mad At God For Chrissakes!

I saw it.  I read about. And I’m still in shock over the subhuman known as Bill O’Reilly.  And no. I shan’t refer to him as a man because he is not a man. He is a filthy pig.

Yeah. He’s angry at God now. Wait till he’s ready to meet his maker.  Karma is a bitch O’Reilly and you’re gonna get it!

This transcends politics—what I’m going to write about.  It transcends politics because it seems that the  a number of the species not of the female persuasion, have lost their manhood.  Oh, hell yes.  They have.

Let’s hope!  O’Reilly, along with OTHER public male figures have made life Hell for women–we know where THEY can go!

We have a president of these United States who has debased women on too many occasions to count.  A pussy isn’t a cat to him.  OK?   A coward who dodged the draft—the draft for the Vietnam war. And then he gets all drama queen about sports figures kneeling during the National Anthem when he cowardly refused to defend our beautiful country, this is NOT a man! He is a cowardly bully.  And that unmanly behavior is supported by millions. And this is about his character–not his politics!

But back to O’Reilly.

Yeah, Bill!  You can go to F.U.!

This is a person with no respect, no regard and no love for any female, whether young girl, woman or transgendered woman.  This is a person who has continuously degraded women, treated them like dirt, threatened them and sexually harassed women.

And he is actually angry at God, our Almighty Father because God didn’t stop him.  What a f&))*ing tool.

Now, I’m Catholic.  And as a Catholic, I have certain beliefs.  These beliefs are mine—and I respect all forms of religious ideologies and non-religious ideologies.  But I don’t respect the “faux-Christian”, phonies who use God as their excuse to hate. Let me make that clear.

The last time I got this upset about this sort of vile and criminal behavior was over Josh Duggar, the fake Christian Fundamentalist and his sexual harassment of women. Remember that?

Remember when I interviewed Jesus over that one?  Let me refresh your memory on that post (click the link)—Me, Jesus, and Josh 

Well, it happened again.  I summoned up my buddy, Hipster Jesus, because I needed to find out how he felt about Bill O’Reilly blaming, God, the Father of Jesus for this bad behavior.

I’m lucky that my buddy, Hipster Jesus, was able to “break” dance away from his friends to see me!

And as soon as I got into my car earlier today to run errands, who do you think miraculously appeared in the passenger seat next to me.  I’ll tell you, after the initial scare, I felt very safe.

That’s right!  I was in the car and you-know-who showed up to talk with me about the scum known as Bill O’Reilly!

Here’s how the convo rolled:

ME:       “Jesus!!!!” “What  are you doin’ dude?”  “You scared the living hell outta me!”

JESUS: “I didn’t have time to send you a sign” “I was dancing with my street friends” “Besides, everyone’s going crazy up there trying to calm my dad down” “He’s the one who’s really angry after what O’Reilly said”

ME: “Yeah—can you believe that?” “Who fu……”

JESUS: (interrupting me) “Yo. Watch your mouth Cathe—my dad is NOT in a good mood because of O’Reilly and it could be a strike against you” 

ME:       “Sorry.”  “But seriously, who says that?????”

JESUS: “A weak person says that” “O’Reilly—he’s weak” “He isn’t a man”

ME:       “OMG!”  “Jesus!” “That’s what I’ve been saying” “He is soooo not a man!”

JESUS:  “A real man and a strong man of character doesn’t blame others for their actions” “A real man takes responsibility and owns up to what he’s done—especially when those actions are wrong and criminal” “He has no remorse.”

ME:       “You know, Jesus, I get really upset because it seems that the real man is a thing of the past”

JESUS: “Hey, look at your sons.” “I watch them all the time and they know how to treat women—and they know how to treat all people—you’ve done a great job” “And what about your husband?” “He treats you like a gem—and he doesn’t get very angry with you when those credit card bills come in—that’s a real man” “Cathe, there are still a few real men out there”

ME: “OK, ok”   “It’s true, I’m very lucky with the three men in my life” “But it just drives me crazy because we have a president who has debased and has carried on abusive behavior toward women” “We have a Republican Congress that wants to control a woman’s body” “And they get all “Christian” in placing religion upon their decisions—like birth control and abortion”

JESUS:  “I hear you on that” “And they do use me and my dad—and sometimes The Holy Spirit, as sorry excuses because they are afraid to come out and say that they want to stop funding because of their hatred for many of the women who need help”

ME: “Look, I know that abortion is a sin for Catholics—but not everyone in our beautiful America is a Catholic or Christian for that matter” “What about Muslims and Jews and Hindus and Atheists and Agnostics” “Don’t they matter?”  “What about America’s founding fathers coming here because they wanted freedom from religion?” 

JESUS:  “Hey” “I wish I could give you a good answer on that—and you’re right” “Their decision is really a crime against religious and non-religious freedom” “I hate to tell you this, but not one of those guys is a real man”

ME: “So what happens?” “We sit complacently while these weak links get away with putting the blame on you, use you as an excuse, and end up walking away without any remorse for their actions?”

JESUS:  “I can’t tell you what’s in store—I can only tell you that right now, hate and the weak have taken over” “There are real men out there—and if you look for the good right now, you will find it” “You’re getting yourself very worked up over a lesser person and it isn’t worth it” “Bill O’Reilly isn’t worth dog piss on a tree on right now—and yes, I said that”

ME:       “Thanks, Jesus” “Say hi to my parents from me wouldja?”

JESUS:  “I sure will” “And I want you and your blog friends to know something—my dad has plans for O’Reilly’s future” “Let’s just say Bill won’t be able to confront God or anyone else because St. Peter has strict instructions to kick O’Reilly’s ass down to Satan’s living room”

Homer Simpson may be happy to see St. Peter, but Bill O’Reilly sure won’t!

ME:       “Thank you, Jesus!!!!!”

JESUS:  “Take care” “I gotta go now—we’re having fish for dinner, and you know what that means!”

Jesus is right.  I need to stop festering on those humans who are not real men.  They are weak.  They are vile and they offer no good to society.  Instead, we need to honor the real men that we know.

You know, a real man treasures woman.  He adores and loves women and respects women.  A real man treats a woman as an equal and a real man is aware that we women are the stronger sex.

And so, today, I am honoring the real men in my life. I’m honoring Bonaparte for his constant support of me.  He came into my life when I was at my lowest point and had a ton of heavy baggage, yet he stuck with me and treats me wonderfully.

My husband!  The best real man I know!  Only a real man would pose for my instagram account to show off his J. Crew jeans!

I honor my sons.  They have always shown respect for women and have never mistreated any female throughout their lives—from childhood to adulthood.  I am truly blessed.

My boys!!   I honor them and I honor the way they treat their sister, Oona, like the princess she is!

And for all of my friends who read this blog—let’s honor the real men in your lives!!!  Give them a shout-out in the comments.

When a tool like O’Reilly opens his big mouth, we need to open our mouths bigger and recognize true men!

Yeah O’Reilly. Deal With It!  Deal With the sexual harassment you handed out and own it you pig!

A great song about Real Men and Joe Jackson’s best! Bill O’Reilly is NOT a real man!

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Hey! I KNOW People. OK?

I don’t quite recall how the conversation transpired, but it happened while Bonaparte and I were enjoying our aperitifs last night.

Oddly enough, we had our aperitifs outside on the deck last night. I’m calling Mother Nature and I’m asking her to give me some Fall weather!

Perhaps my Frenchman was trying to distract me from the events of the weekend—the events where my foray into video making almost gave me a complete emotional breakdown.  Actually, it did give me a complete emotional breakdown.

Regardless, we got into this weird conversation about celebrities we’ve met. Naturally, I couldn’t hold a candle to ol’ Bonaparte’s meetings with various celebrities throughout his life in Paris and St. Tropez, but my competitive nature started to kick in.

Bonaparte fondly recalled days at Le Moulin and the movie stars and various French celebrities that would come and join the family for weekend fun.  And when I realized that I could never top his privileged and celebrity-filled younger days in France, I had to think quickly.

This is Le Moulin, the estate of Bonaparte’s aunt, Daniele Delorme and her husband, Yves Robert.  Bonaparte spent almost all of his weekends here when they owned the home.

I have to explain something.  We took these photos when Daniele was still alive. We drove to B’s mother’s grave which is close by.  This wall–it’s high–about 6 feet tall. I almost broke my neck climbing this fence and almost got arrested because the guard dog wouldn’t stop barking!

Where would I be without Gettyimages?  Here’s Yves and Daniele back in the day..

When Bonaparte told me that Brigitte Bardot was often a guest, I cursed the fact I did not know my husband back then.  Oops!  If I did, he would have been in deep trouble because he’s 11 years older than I am.  But BARDOT!!! BARDOT!!!!!

Well, even though Daniel Gelin was Bonaparte’s uncle and Daniele’s first husband, he was a popular French actor–and he was a frequent guest of Yve’s and Daniele’s.  Very friendly extended family!

The beautiful Nathalie Baye was also a guest that Bonaparte met..

Miou-Miou, the talented actress pictured here with the incredibly talented and tragic Patrick Dewaere was also a guest. Man–Bonaparte got to meet some pretty cool people!

Charles freaking Aznavour was not only a frequent guest, but he entertained everyone with his piano playing and songs!!!!

And this guy–Roger Vadim. He was Bonaparte’s mother’s boyfriend after she and Dany split up.  He even wrote about her in one his books!

The fabulous Jean Rochefort was a regular guest and a great friend of Bonaparte’s family.  He was very, very nice and sweet when I got to meet him.  R.I.P.  This great actor left us recently.

I started thinking of all the celebrities that my son Roman gets to meet on Fallon and SNL.

Roman, hard at work holding a welcoming cue card for Fallon!

And the personalities that my son Jake gets to meet with his career out in L.A.

Jake–at the Grammy awards a few years ago!

Even Oona, who lives in Cincinnati gets to see the city’s own pride and joy—the Lachey Brothers at their establishment.

Cincy’s own–The Lachey Brothers–Drew and Nick!! And they are very nice guys!!!!

I have had a few encounters in my time. And my big come back remark was “Hey. I know people too!” (When in reality, I know nobody!)

But I’ll pretend that I do and I’ll brag, boast, humbly tell you about very real and very true celebrity encounters now!

Al Franken both with Tom Davis and Al Franken by himself.  This makes me very happy because I plan on writing to Al (wink) and asking him if he will run for President of these United States.  It would be so important to me if I could join in a conversation and say “Oh, I knew (hardly) Al Franken back in the day.” “He came to a party that I had and I performed with him and Tom Davis at Town Hall in New York”.

Franken & Davis, in my opinion, the greatest comedy duo since Martin & Lewis.  It was a pleasure performing with these guys!

It’s true though.  My ex-husband and I attended “An Evening With Franken and Davis” at Town Hall. The comedy team, funny as ever, needed a volunteer from the audience to perform in a skit.  I had a front-row seat. And nobody else had the chance because I practically jumped up on the stage.

The skit went well, and I was rewarded with an invite to join the after-party.  It was there that I met Gilda Radnor who was a very warm and genuine person.  She was shocked that I wasn’t a “ringer”.  We had an animated conversation and she commended me on a job well-done!

Yes!  I met THE Gilda Radnor–and she spoke to me and told me I was great!!!!

Pete Townshend was also at the party.  I had the pleasure of meeting him and he was cordial but aloof.

Meeting Pete Townshend of the Who was pretty cool.  He was very quiet and reserved.

The funny thing about this whole thing is that this happened at a time when we had no cellphones.  Had the iPhone been around back then, I would have the skit recorded.  Selfies with Franken, Davis and Radnor would have been snapped and passed to my friends.  Um…I don’t think Pete Townshend would have been up for a selfie though!

I’m also thinking that a good deal of the public personas could only wish that cell phones had never been created due to the camera aspect.  Privacy seemed more precious back then.

Shortly after that skit, I had a little get together with some of my friends who attended Katharine Gibbs with me.  I invited Al Franken.  He showed up and Al and me and the girls all had a great time!  Proving that he is a man of the people!  He would make a great President!

Al Franken’s move to politics has made me very happy. He’s a stand up man and cares about people. I want him to run for President!

During my years of living in Manhattan, I did have a few encounters with celebrities.  Among them—

I met Andy Kaufman at a party that my friend Rondi had back when we were all single and living in NYC.  It was during his wrestling phase and he picked me out to wrestle with him.  YES. I WRESTLED ANDY KAUFMAN and I was laughing so hard he pinned me in two seconds.  But look!  A photo of him as my favorite artist–Gustave Courbet! I knew I liked this guy! R.I.P.

I had a great encounter with Carly Simon back when Tower Records had a location on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.   Jake was in school and Roman was still in a stroller.  Carly Simon came over to me and told me that my son was very cute.  Little did she know that a few months prior, I was up late at night nursing Roman–he was sick and Simon was a guest on a late night TV show.  Her dress was low cut and Roman crawled up to the TV and tried to breastfeed from her TV image. This is a totally true story!!!

Another encounter was Robin Williams. I was standing alone, waiting for someone, I can’t remember who–but it was a side street in NYC.  It was during the afternoon when all was quiet and he passed by with a little “hello”.  It’s a nice memory.

But the one encounter that will stand out as the most spectacular was when John Kennedy Jr. stopped to help me one day.  I was on the way to pick up the boys at school. They were attending St. Ignatius Loyola on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.  Oona was two years old.

Still young enough for the stroller. My Oona had no idea that the handsomest man in the world would pat her cheek!

As was my routine to drive to the school some time before school ended for the day, I would park the car (because I knew the alternate side parking schedule for every street in the area), and run errands.

This one particular day, I was bogged down with packages hanging from the stroller and it started to tip back.  The package I had in my hand dropped to the ground. John Kennedy Jr. was passing by and saw me.  And didn’t he stop to assist this damsel in distress.

I am telling you, photos did not do this man justice.  It’s a shame he is no longer with us. But let me tell you that his mother raised one helpful and charming son!

I almost had a heart attack.  Let me tell you something.  I had seen him back when I was working on Wall Street before my stay-at-home mom days.  The Wall Street area was a very small community back then and it seemed as though during lunch time, every building emptied out.  John Kennedy was so good looking that when he was out on the street, women would just stop in their tracks to admire him.  He was a modern-day Adonis.

The fact I finally saw him up close and personal just about took my breath away.  He bent down, picked up my package then stopped when he saw Oona in the stroller.  Then he touched her cheek and said, “Your daughter is beautiful”.   How do you answer that???????

What I wanted to say was “You are the most beautiful specimen of humanity that I’ve ever laid eyes upon.”  “You are even more handsome than your photographs!!”

Instead, I just thanked him and didn’t wash Oona’s face for a week!

Oh—if cell phones had been created back then, I would have taken Oona out of her stroller, placed her in young Mr. Kennedy’s arms and would have had a field day taking photos!!!

And as time marches on, I find myself less enthralled with spotting the famous and infamous these days.

  Daniele,  the actor Antoine Bourseiller and me hanging out on Pont Neuf. This photo has to be about ten or eleven years old. I know people.

It seemed back then—a good 25 to 30 years ago, it was the stories we told of our interaction with those of the celebrity nature.–we didn’t whip our phones out to display the photos!  Stories are a thing of the past because now those spotting’s or engaging moments are told not with words, but with our iPhone cameras.

I’ll be honest. I use my phone more to take photos than to call people!  

I think I like the stories better. Wait!  I DO like the stories better!!!!

What about you?  Do you have any chance encounters with the famous that you would like to tell us about?  It’ll be fun to read your words and come up with a visual in our minds rather than a selfie.

Do tell!

Today’s video is my introduction to my YouTube channel.  It only took me three hours to figure out how to add this “trailer” to my YouTube channel.  I have to admit to you.  I want my channel to be a success because it so out of the norm.  No fillers. No Botox.  Wrinkles galore—but it’s natural.  And I want it to be that way.  But this blog is still my baby and I’m most at ease writing words!!!

  1. Oh. The story I could tell you about how long it took me to add this as a “trailer” would take forever!  Remember to “like” if you like the video and hit “subscribe”.  I can’t even any more today!!!
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Good Morning! I’m a F&*()ing Mess!

Hi everyone!

Oh, dear God. The video saga is horrific.  As you know, I started a YouTube channel. The channel is named after the blog.  It’s always a good idea to expand the community—especially since I am trying to expand and monetize the blog. Income is needed and I am giving myself until March to try.

Yes!  Yesterday turned out not to be the day from Hello! It turned out to be the day from Hell!

Some people have that Midas touch.  I have the Merdest touch.

True dat!  I have the Merde touch!

So anyway, I was very confident after posting my first video.

I became even more confident and decided to post a video on how to bake bread.  My initial idea was to have a fun video of me going through the steps that I do when I make bread, but with a little fun and humor thrown in. Simple enough.  And I made six little video clips that could be merged together to make one video.

This is how I looked when I started my day.  Take a good look!!

YouTubers do it all the time.  I could do this!

Instead—I couldn’t.  You see, YouTube discontinued their application to merge videos together.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?  It’s bad enough that my favorite beauty products always end up discontinued—and now freakin’ YouTube discontinues the only element that could have helped me to merge video clips?  And they discontinued it three weeks ago. Three weeks before I decided to make videos. Apparently, since Google purchased YouTube, it’s all about third-party and purchasing Chromebook now.  What a racket!

Now you know why everything I touch turns to merde!

I’m no technical person.  In fact, I’m technically-challenged.  And there are no programs out in cyberland for people who are as challenged as I am.  I researched high and low.  I downloaded one program that turned out to be so difficult that I ended up crying and wishing I had my happy pills back.

Whhhhaaaaaa!!! I’m a SIMPLE person. Therefore I need a SIMPLE program. Is that too much to ask for?

I uninstalled it.

Then I did more research and read about the program Filmora.  Rave reviews about the simplicity of this program made my happy temperature rising. I was pumped.  And so, I purchased the program and installed it.

And at one-o’-clock in the morning, I was sitting at this laptop, tears streaming down my face, sobbing and speaking in tongues because, as easy as the reviews said it was, I was still unable to carry out the simplest procedure of merging videos together. Bonaparte came downstairs, put his arms around me, and I broke down in his arms.  He gently shut my computer off and led me upstairs where I argued with him that I would never get to sleep because I was so wound up.  I fell asleep within five minutes.

Remember that photo of me at the top of the post?  The one where I looked confident and pretty?  Well, this was me at the end of the day!

Microsoft Word discontinued their video merging and I currently stand at a loss.  And the worst thing about it is that I’m so angry now that I can’t focus on anything else.  I need to take a bath. I need to brush my teeth. I need to put deodorant on because I stink to high heaven. If I go another day without shaving my legs, I’ll be able to braid the hair below my knees!  But I don’t care.  I don’t care because I am determined to figure this out if I have to go a week without sleep.

Add to the non-shaved legs, I need a pedicure and a fake tan. I am a hot mess!

And what disappoints me the most is that I wanted this project to be fun.  Filming this stuff is fun. I get a kick out of it.  It allows me to go a step further than just writing.  It brings a voice to my writing. It allows you to see how clumsy I truly am.  And I want you to see that.

So, I’m asking you for the gift of patience while I figure this $hit out. I’m angry with Word for discontinuing a simple procedure. I’m pissed off at YouTube for discontinuing a feature that would have been so easy and so advantageous to a beginner.  I’m upset at Filmora for not having the support that it should have.

Have you ever been determined to do something that it almost drives you crazy?  That’s how I feel right now.  I just cannot understand why something so simple as merging a few video clips together has to be so complicated?

Sometimes progress sucks.

Here’s the first of the videos that I’m trying to piece together. The rest get funnier and informative and Chippy makes an appearance!  So, while I’m trying to figure it out, take a look and enjoy! This is the first part of the YouTube videos I tried to merge.  The rest are in sequential order so you can go over to my youtube channel:  Atypical60

I was smart to pause the video and replay. I wasn’t so smart with the other installments but I’m working on it now. And will work on it until I get it right!

So I just want to thank you for your patience!

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MY FIRST VLOG!!!!! WATCH AND SUBSCRIBE!!!

Okay everyone!  I’ve done it!  It’s ridiculous and it isn’t the greatest.  I’m noticing that I really REALLY need fillers.

Anyway, I’ll be doing more videos and my YouTube channel is Atypical60, but I have to work on the details.

Please subscribe and tell your friends to subscribe!  Thank you so much.

I gotta go!

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My Saddest Bye from Paris and My Best Buys Too

This is a difficult post to write because I’m covering two subjects at once and I honestly don’t know where to begin.

A couple of days ago I received a request on Instagram to list favorite items that I buy in France—I’m pretty sure it was meant to mean beauty products.  And I was all set to start writing about those products last night when I realized something.

I realized that when this blog post would be published, it would be on the 17th.  Two years after Bonaparte’s aunt, Danièle Delorme passed away.  Today marks the second anniversary of her passing.  And she’s been on my mind since I woke up this morning.

From Gigi to Femme Fatale to a best-seller about her life and career. She was one of a kind and I am missing her badly.

If you are familiar with this blog, then you are very familiar with Bonaparte’s and my stays with Danièle’s apartment in Paris.  When she was alive, her apartment was our second home.  She was my French mama.  And we had a blast together.

And so, on this day, I would like to link a few posts so that you can either familiarize yourself with her or have another look at some of my  memories of her:

Here’s the First of Three Parts about our stay during Daniele’s Funeral. The second and third installments are immediately following Part Un.

One of my favorite photos of Daniele.  I forget what movie this was from.

Paris Without Daniele–Part Un

Those blue doors. I could cry just looking at this photo.

The shocking news that hit me when I found out the apartment was being sold:

Au Revoir to Our Little Paris Apartment

Place Dauphine. Lively in the summer and at rest during the late fall through the early spring.

Our trip to Paris last November. It was bittersweet. Read the entire four posts about it!

Three Days In Paris. Leave the Chic at Home and Enjoy Being a Flaneuse

Now that you have a bit of a background on my many stays in Paris over the years,  I’ll touch on a few more things.

First of all, Paris is a very special place for me.  I’m a city girl.  I miss living in Manhattan.  My two favorite cities are NY and Paris—but that’s another story.  I love Paris because of her imperfections.

 

Just one of the many reasons I love Paris. The morning views always make me feel very comforted.

And within an hour of Paris you get to see cool places like this…

And come back to this at dusk!

Paris is an incredibly romantic city. And not just romantic in the way it brings lovers together. It is romantic in other ways as well–buildings are ancient.  Stairways are worn.  Floors are uneven.  Walls have peeling plaster.  The streets are too narrow. I could go on and on and on—but with these imperfections, she is a city of beauty, history, culture, and splendor.  And that’s what makes Paris romantic.

My version of Paris is not the one most bloggers write about.  I’m not that blogger running down a side street in a pair of six-inch stilettos, wearing a midi-length fluffy tutu skirt with a tight-fitting Breton shirt, hair extensions blowing in the wind, carrying a Chanel bag in one hand and a box of Ladurée macarons in the other.

That’s because I’m the blogger who makes my own macarons.  Here is mine with chocolate cream filling, pistachio filling, and almond cream filling.  I think it’s time to make more.

Nor am I going to write about the starred Michelin restaurants that are spread throughout the arrondissements.  Most of my meals over the years have been cooked by Danièle ’s various housekeepers.  And might I add, she hired some mighty fine cooks!

Casual, informal table for three.  Fathia was by far the best cook–she made couscous by hand!!!!  Her tagines were the greatest!

Instead, I want to focus on one thing.

Shopping.  As in normalized shopping.  That’s right.  You can go shopping in Paris and get really nice things without breaking the bank.  The average French woman does not walk along Boulevard du Montparnasse carrying a Chanel bag.  You will most likely see a Longchamp Le Pliage or a La Bagagerie shopping tote hanging off the shoulders of local femmes.

This La Bagagerie Shopping Tote is the bag you will see more women in Paris carrying than Chanel.  I promise you.

Whether you will be traveling to Paris for the first time soon or in the future, please remember that Paris offers affordable shopping—and not just during the winter and summer soldes.

Let’s shop!

City Pharma:  (Click the Bold Name to link to the website–I don’t know why it isn’t turning purple–WordPress!) How much do I love this treasure trove of all things beauty?  Enough that I make it a point to shop there every time I go to Paris.  This might be inappropriate, but during the three days that we stayed for Danièle ’s funeral, I made time in between family visits to get there.  The discounts on brands such as Caudalie, Nuxe, Roche, Bioderma and all other French brand names is ridiculous! Even brands that aren’t well-known to those outside France are worth trying.  I found one of my favorite toners here—a simple orange blossom water for less than 5 €. In fact, I hoarded and am now down to my last bottle.  Time to get back.

THIS is the store that rocks my bateau! Bonaparte can wait outside and people watch while I go candy-pickin’!

Part of my haul from last year…most of this stuff is gone….

I think I may have paid tops 20 euros for this. It retails for $79. here in the States!

Mama is runnin’ low.  I need to get back to CityPharma!

Freaking Bioderma’s small micellar water was a whopping €2.49. Here in the States, the same small bottle sells for about seven bucks.

That tiny bottle of micellar water by Bioderma cost me two euros and change. Here it cost almost seven bucks.  The middle Fragonard lotion was purchased at the Fragonard Boutique.  The Orange Blossom water is another CityPharma steal. I picked up three or four bottles. I’m dowm to my last one!

One euro and the best lip balm I’ve ever purchased!  I also purchased this at Geant Hypermarche in Mandelieu-la-Napoule.

Located on the corner of Rue du Four and Rue Bonaparte, the place gets crowded as the day goes by. Get there early. Wear flat shoes.  Be ready to shove your way through the narrow aisles.   Grab a basket as you go in because I can guarantee that a lot of stuff will be leaving the store with you.

You’ll know that you’ve reached City Pharma when you see a ton of French men smoking cigarettes outside. They are waiting for their significant others.

Fragonard:  This boutique at 196 bd. St. Germain is one of the most charming shops I’ve ever been in. It’s so adorable.  During the summer, we always make a stop at the Fragonard in Grasse. But there are quite a few locations scattered around Paris.  The scents here are very affordable and the selection is good. The perfumed body lotion is a steal at around €10 or 12.  Soap sets make great gifts and my favorite, Fleur d’Oranger is always in stock.  Don’t forget to have a look around at the cute fabric bags that Fragonard sells for various uses such as laundry and shoes.

Yes. The Fragonard shop in St. Germain is as cute as this illustration!

And even though I purchased the Fleur d’Oranger Intense (pictured on the right),  These scents are always in stock at the boutiques in Paris.

This adorable fabric sac was purchased way back when–at the Fragonard St. Germain. I’ve had years of use from it. I pack my ballet flats in it when we travel!  All for about ten or twelve euros.

Sophie Sacs: I found out about Sophie Sacs from a friend of mine.  She also introduced me to Nat et Nin bags.  Sophie Sacs is a discounted bag shop at 149 Rue de Rennes—a great shopping street, and affordable shops to boot!  Sophie Sacs also sells a varied selection of Nat et Nin bags.  The bags are like buttah and at the discounted rate come in at less than €200 for a decent bag.

Monsieur Sophie Sacs will take care of all your Sac needs!!!

Image result for sophie sacs atypical60

It’s a small shop, but packs a whallop of bags!

Some of the Nat & Nin bags I’ve purchased at Sophie Sacs.  Yes. There’s more. 

La Bagagerie:  64 b. Haussmann.  Another affordable brand.  The shopping totes are a cross between a nylon Longchamp bag and a Birkin bag.  You’ll see them all over the City. Beware though. If you purchase the shopping tote, make sure you buy a dark color.  I had the cream color and it got so filthy that I had to trash it.  Thankfully, it was very affordable.

Another brand of affordable bags with locations throughout Paris. If your luggage gets messed up you can buy new here!

Jeanne Danjou: 15 Place du Pont-Neuf.  Hold on!  I need a moment here. ……….. OK.  In writing this post, I just found out that this jeweler is selling on Etsy.  This.  This is the smallest little bijou boutique on the corner at Pont-Neuf.  I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve passed this shop because I can’t count that high. But I’ve gotten gifts here and treated myself to a few things.  The prices are crazy inexpensive proving that you can bring home a piece of French jewelry without going all Cartier!

Thankfully, Daniele’s apartment was up the street because this shop has unusual hours!

Aren’t these red earrings the cutest?

A coupla more pieces.  Now that I know these goods are on Etsy……..

Monoprix:  Various locations throughout Paris and all through France.  Everyone raves about ‘Monop.  It’s like the Target of France but a few years back, the prices were really cheap.  Over the years, the chain has raised prices. I think you can get better prices on toiletries at Carrefour, Casino, and Geant. Just my opinion.  But the great thing about Monoprix is the little nylon tote bags that you can get for one euro.

Load up on these.  I’m not kidding. These also make great stocking stuffers!

Nicolas: Also, locations throughout Paris and France.  The best place to buy wine but Nicolas also sells these one-euro totes as well.  I’m demanding that you buy at least five of these bags.  When you get home put one in each of the purses you use the most.  These come in handy when you need to make a stop at the grocery store. But—if you aren’t aware, grocery stores in France do not offer free bags for your groceries.  These little totes are essential.  Better yet, buy twenty of them and hand them out to your friends.

All folded up…

This thing is in constant use–who knew that a little, nylon, one-euro wine store sac would be used over and over and over and over again!

If you get the chance, drop into the Guerlain Boutique at 68 Champs-Elysées. When Snow White bit into that poisoned apple and fell into that deep slumber, I’ll bet she was dreaming of this place because it is a girly dream!  As a lover of Guerlain scents, I had yet to shop in this magnificent shop until Danièle decided to take me on a spending spree!  I have never had an experience to rival this one and my damned phone broke so I wasn’t able to take photos!

Image result for guerlain paris

This was where the magic happened. And from the ceiling, flowers were floating down.  My damned luck the phone broke! 

Well, I’ll always have Pushy Pink as a memory…

And my perfume!!

When we arrived at the shop, the sales staff greeted Danièle as though she was royalty. And when she introduced me as her niece from America, I was treated like the princess I was meant to be! The red velvet rope at the end of the stairs leading to the second floor was opened for us and I walked into a room with a larger-than-life lazy Susan filled with every Guerlain scent imaginable.  I was ordered to pick whatever I wanted—and the large  bottle of La Petite Robe Noire was put aside for me. Then it was off to buy some makeup!  To this day, Guerlain’s Pushy Pink remains one of my most revered lipsticks and I use it sparingly.  I cannot even describe the feeling of shopping in that store.  But—I can tell you that if you do want a lovely, girly, fairy-tale shopping experience.  Visit this flagship boutique.  And buy am eyeliner pencil. It’s affordable!

Galeries Lafayette:   Oddly enough, this isn’t my favorite place to go shopping. I prefer the smaller shops. But, during Christmas, the décor alone will put even the biggest Scrooge in the spirit!  It’s beautifully decorated!  Lots of little “galleries” in this huge department store—and at times can be downright overwhelming.

The ceiling last year at Galeries Lafayette. I was so happy that we were there for the Christmas decorations!

It was gaw-jus!!!!

Randomness:  I hoard sugar substitute and those little candies in the tin.  I don’t know why but I just do.  Back in the summer of 2016, I discovered Adopt’ scents at Geant and now I’m hooked.  I have various little spray bottles in different purses. My favorite is Oud Ambre. It’s one of those masculine scents but feminine at the same time. The little spray bottles run for about €6 and are a stellar buy!

If you are in Paris or any other area in France and you see adopt’ perfumes, buy a couple!  This scent is the perfect autumn scent–it’s like tweed and leather and wool wrapped into one!

I must have 25 of those sugar substitute thingies. I buy them every year then forget about them–and those candies!

Think outside the box for gifts.  I received this scarf from Daniele after she went on a shopping trip. It wasn’t something that I would have selected but I’ve worn this year after year after year since I received it. It is a lightweight wool and the threading is silver. But somehow it works.  And notice in the small photo with the Antik Batik tag. The plastic is still there. You would think I would have cut it out?  Non. I’m that lazy!

Don’t forget about airport shopping!  I picked this solid scented perfume by Diptyque at CDG last year. I could not resist the packaging but this is some strong stuff!  I must use very carefully! 

Etam:  Various locations. Great for underwear and pj’s.

And there’s always window shopping!  But seriously folks.  You don’t have to be the one percent to enjoy Paris or the shopping that it has to offer.   There is something for everyone here.

I took this photo of a window display somewhere in the 6th.  The dress is made of scarves and you can take photos have them printed and frame them–for a great memory!

I could go on and on and on, but right now, I’m going to leave you and re-read a letter I found that Danièle wrote to me ten years ago. And I’ll place it with her other letters!

Listen to this song by Henri Salvador “A Saint-Germain des Pres.  It’ll put visions of sitting in a cafe in Paris on a lazy afternoon into early dusk, perhaps you will start off with a cup of coffee and end with an aperitif. This song is beautiful.  Bonne Nuit!

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Momma’s Got A Brand New Bag!

I feel good.  I knew that I would.  I feel good. I knew that I would.  So good.  So good.  I got a…New Bag!!

Adding another bag to my collection was the last thing I had in mind today.  Earlier I ventured out to take care of some personal business.

Had to get dressed and take care of some personal business earlier today!

And on the way home, I stopped at Rite-Aid to see if I could pick up another Wet n Wild concealer.  I know. I wrote about this concealer yesterday, and while it isn’t a WOW concealer, for the price of $3.99, it was worth purchasing a backup.

Since I was on the Main Line, I also decided to make a stop at the TJ Maxx in St. Davids.  This TJ’s is one of the best I’ve ever been to.  On my mental list was a reminder to search for more micellar water at Maxxinista prices because I’m not spending a ton of money on fancy water.

Just my luck, I knew those Philadelphia Main Line frosted blondes would snag all the micellar water up.  There was none. But, I was left with remnants of other fancy water.  I ended with a Korean brand of hydrating water for the face. The water is manufactured by a company named WELCOS and the brand is IOU.

My new obsession.  Spraying water on my face at random intervals during the day!  The little bottle on the left was $2.99 –overpriced but it’s in my purse now.  The larger one is a Korean brand–and I’ve been hearing a lot about Korean and Japanese beauty brands these days.  The larger bottle cost $3.99. Excuse me while I spray my face.

The packaging was very user-friendly as I didn’t need a tweezer or scissors to remove the shrink wrap!  And the water does feel very soft and refreshing on my face.

And as I wandered around aimlessly, my little red cart bumping into displays and people, I noticed something.  It was on a display shelf in the bag section.  Now—I’m not a fan of the bags that TJ Maxx or Marshalls sells.   I’m not talking about The Runway section bags at TJ’s, because quite frankly, even at the markdowns, I still can’t afford the bags that this privileged section sells.

Have you ever been to The Runway at TJ Maxx?  Some very high-end designer clothing and accessories, but I find better deals at Neiman Marcus Last Call.

Last week, I spotted a Balenciaga City Bag–the small one reduced to $800 from $1,300. At this juncture in my non-career, the discounted price is too much money for me to spend!

I’m talking about the other bags, usually three seasons ago and many of the bags, just not to my taste.

The something I spotted was standing gloriously proud and with perfect posture.  On the first tier of a display shelf.  I was skeptical of approaching because I’m basically broke. And it looked expensive.  But the magnetizing current drew me closer.  The color was appealing to me. Not quite green, and not quite gray.  It’s the color I want to paint the living and dining room walls but Bonaparte says the color is too dark for him.

I picked it up and looked at the price.  Then I did a double-take.  $19.99.  Oh man, this was too good.  I inspected the bag like a jail warden getting ready to do a body check on an inmate.  No marks. No nicks.  In perfect condition.  Into the cart, it went.

The tag said “Vegan”–that’s just a marketing ploy for “pleather”.   I’m telling you, this is a bag of chips and more!

And it’s got those little “feet” at the bottom to protect it from standing upon dirty floors!

Did I need a new bag?  Nooooo-ah. But this bag—it was just so aesthetically pleasing to me that I found a way to justify the purchase!

My justification?  All my bags are big.   Some are huge.  I like big bags and I cannot lie. Big bags are an outlet for my stuff.  Stuff that I don’t need to carry with me but I do.

My brown leather Longchamp bag–I use this more than any other bag.   The items I stuff into this bag is ridiculous.  I practically have my house in here!

BHere’s another biggie.  J. Crew Brompton Bag.  Oona got this for me many Christmases ago and I use it every winter. This holds a ton of stuff.  It is big and heavy and I still love it!

The fact is, I could use a bag that isn’t big.  Except I want a nice looking one.  I have a small bag that I can’t stand. It holds nothing and is such a pale color that it’ll get filthy. It’s a Tory Burch bag and isn’t worth the money I foolishly spent on it.

Ugh. I can’t even stand to look at this waste of money. Thankfully it sits in a dust bag. Let me tell you, I learned quite a lot about bags from my days at Nordstrom. Tory Burch bags are NOT worth the money. They are cheaply made. They are poorly constructed.  A great many Tory Burch bags are returned. I know this. I wasted my money. You’re welcome.

I need a bag I could take to the web design class that I’m going to tomorrow—with just enough room for my wallet, and a few other essentials.  A bag that I could comfortably carry while going to do some grocery shopping and run errands.

This bag was perfect.  And I ended up buying it.

Let’s take a better look at it—shall we?

The adjustable shoulder strap is long!  That means you will be able to adjust the strap to your personal liking and body length.  It won’t keep falling off the shoulder.  The hoop handle–OMG–so like the hoop earrings I love so much.  The bucket shape. Granted, this is not a bag that holds a lot–so it isn’t an everyday bag.  That’s unless you normally don’t carry the contents of your home in your bag!

And the hoop handles are solid.  The overall construction of this bag is also very impressive!

Another added touch.  The faux suede fabric closure at the top of the bag with the “vegan” drawstring.  More security and it gives a luxe look to the bag.

And the faux suede doesn’t look cheap…

We have an equestrian-themed lining, a zippered compartment on one side

And a pocket on the other side of the interior

Another look at the lining.

There is also a zippered compartment on the outside of the bag.

So far, I have my wallet, facial water spray and a little expandable shopping bag that I got for one euro at Nicolas. There is also enough room for my phone, a pad and pen, and lipsticks.

The bag looks great against our dining room rug!

Sometimes you happen to find little treasures you never expect to find—and those are the ones you appreciate and use more than others. I’ll be using this bag a lot!

And so, as I sit here writing, my new bag set on the table next to me so that I can look over and admire it, and my baby Chippy at my feet, I realize that today is a darn good day!

It’s true!  I’ve been admiring this inexpensive bag all afternoon!  I love the look of it!

And my little man is resting by my feet!  It’s a great day!

Momma may have a brand-new bag—but so does Papa.  James Brown!

 

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