Atypical 60

Them’s pretty serious words folks, now aren’t they?

My girl Rene from Mob Wives refers to Jesus, Mary and Joseph in a much different way than I do! But–she has a good point!!!!

This is more like the Jesus, Mary and Joseph I was talking about!

I loved my parent’s intensely.  And I take the true meaning of love to heart. Love is important.  Love is never-ending.  Even when those you love pass on, the love you had for them will always linger.

On their wedding day–I’m sure they never knew the impact that they would have on their five children–and the values they passed on!

Then why am I announcing that I’m glad my parents are dead?  I’m gonna tell you why.

We were never too young to learn proper values!  

It’s because of the values my parents taught me and my siblings.  It’s the moral compass they instilled in us. It is the discipline and sense of humility they passed onto us.  It is the compassion and empathy for others that my parents taught us as well.

Do we even remember what a moral compass is?

And if they were alive today to see just how our value system diminished and is failing, my parents would be shocked and horrified.

My mother and father took their position as parents very seriously.  They parented. They were not our friends while we were growing up, they were our guides to life and paved the way for our ethical behavior when we became adults.

They took care of us and “parented”!  And boy, did they parent well!

And I’m angry. I’m angry and disillusioned and disappointed and saddened and confused as to what happened to the value system in our country.

As children, we were taught to “treat others the way you would want others to treat you”.  This was drilled into our minds from a very young age.  “If you want to be treated kindly and with respect, then treat others that same way”. We heard this a lot when growing up.

Yeah! Now that’s a concept. Why can’t we just be NICE to each other? 

Certain words were not allowed in our vocabulary. Among those words were “stupid” and “retarded/retard”.

My parents were adamant about not using those words. They are vicious and maligning and an insult to those who may be challenged.  Those words hit home the most when my sister, Beth Ann, was born. She was those last two words. And to this day, I cannot bring myself to utter those “r” words.  My own three children, now adults, were also raised to never utter those words either. I’ve never heard them call anyone “stupid” nor have I ever heard them say the “r” words.

In fact, when they were kids, there was a series of children’s books entitled “The Stupid’s”. I would not allow those books in my home. I honestly don’ believe in banning books, but I did believe in not allowing certain reading materials to cross my threshold. That series of books and fashion magazines while my daughter was a teen didn’t enter into my home.

Believe me when I tell you that I don’t find many things offensive. But I have always found this series incredibly offensive.

I’m getting off topic. Back to values.

You know that awful thing called “lying”?  Well, that was something my parents did not tolerate one bit. to lie was not a part of our value system. You don’t lie. Not to anyone.  Lies hurt. Lies deceive.  A lair cannot be trusted. Not now. Not ever. Never.  To lie really is a sin.

I’m thinking that the morale of the story of Pinocchio is that lying is now acceptable!

My parents disciplined us in a way where we realized there would be consequences for actions that were not acceptable.  We were punished. And punishment was usually in the form of something taken away. Something that we really wanted to do or have. And it worked! Like a charm.

..attone for your lies?  That’ll be 25 Hail Marys, 30 Our Fathers and help your mother do the laundry! Yes. To Lie was a sin. I guess lies have been downgraded!

We were taught that we were no better than anyone else. In fact, my father who never minced words, would often remind me more so than my siblings (I wonder why?) “You better get off that high horse young lady because when it comes down to it, end the end we are all ashes” And he was correct.

Somebody had to set me straight when I got a bit haughty!

We were taught to give back.  We were taught to help others. We were taught to respect others.

Habitat has always been my favorite way to give back. It is a truly wonderful way to help others and enjoy while you are doing it!

And in the pre “It-takes-a-village” era, my parents believed that it took a community.

We attended Catholic school, not so much due to our faith, but because it was a community of like-minded families.  The majority of us held strong to the same value system.

This was our principal. Sr. Mary Isabel. She never got physical. But all she had to do was give that “look” and you knew you were in deep. But that value system kept us on the straight and narrow and gave us a wicked sense of humor!

The nuns who taught me were, when I look back on it, very liberal-minded compared to some of the stories I hear from others who attended Catholic school at the time I attended. I was very fortunate to have these wonderful women set the foundation for my education.

I distinctly remember one of my teachers, Sr. Mary Jerome, telling a small group of us that we should attend a public high school rather than a Catholic one because as young adults, we needed to learn first-hand about diversity.   She knew that her job was done in forming our child minds and gave us tools to use as high school students.

Sr. Mary Clairvaux, my favorite teacher of all time, and the woman who gave me a thirst for reading and writing, threw out some of the books she was told to use while teaching us. I found this out later on as an adult when I had the pleasure of meeting her after she left the convent. She felt the books were too conservative.  She felt we needed to be educated in a way that shot straight from the heart. It worked.

The sisters taught us to think independently. They also taught us to give back and they taught us humility and humanity. Traits that have been ignored in recent times.

This is me with my Aunt Eleanor. She was an Ursuline Sister–and one of the kindest and sweetest women who ever lived. She also passed great values to us.  

So, when did it become acceptable to lie?

I’ll never forget how I felt when Bill Clinton announced to the world that “I never had relations with that woman”.  Sorry Mr. President. But you did. And guess what?  I could care less about his bouncy-bouncy life—what disgusted me is that he lied.  And from that day on, I never trusted him again.

Yeah, Bill. Ya DID.  That isn’t the issue. The issue is that you LIED about it!

Today we have a president whose lies make Clinton’s look like little fairy tales. Our current President has made an art out of lying.  But when it comes down to it. Both men lied. And is that acceptable?  Many people seem to think it’s ok. I guess lies have crept into normal behavior.

Yup! And the most dangerous liar is a draft dodger who made false promises and lied his way into the white house. His parents never raised him with a sense of decency or values. The only values he was raised with was the value of money. Period!

When did it become ok to deny the poor food for nourishment and when did it become absolutely tolerable to take health care away from people—allowing them the chance for a better life? Oh wait. Abortion is sin, but to take food and health care away from people is pro-life? I think not. I think that is anti-life”.

This is a man who PRETENDS to have values but in real life, he lacks morale fiber as well. He has no values. He wants to take healthcare away from the elderly and the underprivileged. He pretends to be a Christian. He is anti-life. Read this wonderful article in the NY Times:  “And Jesus Said Unto Paul Ryan” This is an excellent piece about values and the lack thereof!

Is it the media that started this downfall of values? After all, the media glorified and normalized the person in the white house while holding the bar high for other candidates.  Is it the new form of child rearing—the one where parents want to be friends with their children rather than life guides? You know—the parents who think that their child is entitled and better than the others.

Where is the value of responsibility and accounting for your own actions? 

  Is it the political correctness that has invaded our country like an army of cockroaches?

Yes. We, the overly sensitive, politically correct at all times can feel what others are feeling at all times…life is tough but you can remain a softy. 

I am struggling to figure out when values and moral compass left our society.

My father made it clear to me and my sisters that if a man ever used physical force or abusive words to leave as soon as possible. He also made it clear to my brothers that if they ever struck a woman/girl or treated her harshly, and he found out about it, there would be hell to pay.

So why then is it ok for an elected president of these United States to debase women and gloat to “grab them by the pussy?” And this kind of remark still managed to get this man elected!

When did it become perfectly fine for politicians to vow to take away health care and food away from people—because that is what’s happening in DC now!!

And no party is getting off easy from me either.

Fact is NONE of the parties can take a joke!  My God, Norman Lear’s “All In the Family” would be banned from TV these days for being politically incorrect–and while the show made us laugh at racism and bigotry, it sent a serious message about  a serious issue. 

The change seemed to take place when the Tea Party invaded the Republican party like an incurable disease.  Overnight the Republicans went from a rather genteel but selfish group to a bunch of loud mouths extolling hatred for any people who were not bankers, large corporate honchos, lobbyists, or insurance companies.  They refer to those in need or any government assistance as being “entitled” when they, themselves, are the truly entitled ones.

THIS is the illness that invaded the old-school GOP and ruined the set of values in politics for all.  Divided we stand.

The Democrats get no mercy from me either.  Once the backbone of the laborers and blue collar workers, they took a stand for the middle class. No more.  The Democratic party ignored their core group the way the fashion and beauty industries ignore older women.  In the Democrat Party’s inclusion of all peoples and groups and their mission for diversity, they excluded the one group who supported them from the get go.

To the EXTREME left–stop whining -and DO something! Grow a set.

And now we have a party of self-righteous, politically correct, do-gooders who lack the balls to stand up to the likes of Mitch McConnell, who has no value system whatsoever.

Mitch’s value system is completely off the charts. He pontificates about being Pro-life when he is only pro-fetus. Once the life is breathing and functioning , he doesn’t want to feed them, educate them or help with health care. Where are your values Mitch????

The Democrat’s silence is tolerance of the  lack of humanity and low moral compass that the Republicans  now stand for.

We need a return to good  and decent values.  We need a return to love rather than hate.  We need a return of people working together for each other rather than against each other.

I realize that I’ve brought politics into this post—but I’m bipartisan.  Both parties messed up.   Both parties fell into the abyss of the extreme.

 And it  seems that tweets are setting the tone for the new behavior of social mores. Yes. Tweets are the new set of values.

What kind of values does this man have? As president, he spends his “morning time” sending tweets rather than thinking about what is best for “we the people”. I do believe he is mistaking his “civil duty” for “physic doody”.   Stop the tweets.  Get a set of values and compassion!

* These guys singing to the tune of Rockin’ Robin*

All the little birdies on Congress Street, love to see the POTUS go “tweet, tweet, tweet”. Go and rob them! Tweet. Tweet. Tweet. Go and Rob them. Tweet. Tweet. Tweet. POTUS gonna go and rob them of their healthcare tonight!!

Where has humility gone?

C.L. Lewis got this value right. He was spot-on when it came to describing humility!

In essence—where have all the values gone?

Another great and valuable quote. Giving–it’s a value.

Where have all the values gone?

Long time passing

Where have all the values gone?

Long time ago.

Where have all the values gone?

Gone to grave yards every one.

When will they ever learn. When will they ever learn?

I can’t help it—but I think had Bobby Kennedy and Dr. King lived, our world as we know it would be different.  We would have a great value system put into place. We would be a compassionate people. We would be a caring people. We would take care of each other. And we would be a great America.

Kennedy and King. I do think that our lives as Americans would have changed for the better had these two men lived.  They did something. They made people think. They taught tolerance and compassion. They gave. And we lack the leadership of people like this that we so need. We need leaders with VALUES!

So, let’s think about it. Let’s think about the values we were raised with. Let’s raise a toast to our parents—whether they passed or whether they are still with us.  Thank them. Hug them. And realize that they guided your life in a wonderful way.

I wish I had thanked you more than I did. I wish I thanked you every day for instilling me with a great value system. Thank you so much!

They guided your life with values that are invaluable.

Peter, Paul, and Mary. Where Have All the Flowers Gone.