Atypical 60

I’m Clothesed Minded. So, Don’t Tell Me What to Wear And Other Rants!

Posted on March 12, 2017 by Catherine

It started off quite innocently and without drama. Bonaparte and I made a stop at Wegmans to do a bit of food shopping for our dinner.

And then it happened. At the checkout. I spotted it. “Vogue” magazine. And once again, my temper was triggered!

So Anna Wintour walks into a bar….and the bartender says “What’s your idea of diversity” And Wintour answered. “A cover with a skinny Asian, a plus-sized model who is thinner than the average American woman, the one Kardashian who doesn’t have a huge ass, a child of a Dutch Beverly Hills Housewive and her Arabic ex-husband, an Indian (not American Indian), an African-American and some other generic White model. All young. I am ageist you know”. The sad thing is that this is no joke! This is the fashion and beauty industries idea of diversity. All thin and young. Very young!

On the cover was a group of models. The group was, in the world of Anna Wintour, who happens to be an old lady herself but is apparently in denial, diverse. It was diverse because this group included an Asian, A plus-sized model (who weighs less than the average American woman, a model from a Z-list celebrity family, an All-American looking model, an African-American woman, and a model who is the offspring of a Beverly Hills Housewife.

And these young women, folks, are the ideal of ALL women. Empowered women. Sage women. YEAH. THESE are women who’ve lived decades and decades of ups and downs, successes, and failures, mistakes and overcoming them. Older women are basically ignored.

Let us get real here. Let us celebrate truly empowering women. Ripples, Wrinkles, and Brains! Hillary Clinton–so she may not be everyone’s political cup of tea–but she is a strong, intelligent woman who KNOWS how Washington works. Then we have Joni Mitchell, one of the most poetic and prolific songwriters of all time. She’s another strong woman. And what about Katherine Johnson, an African-American Physicist, and Mathematician who worked for NASA? At 98 she went unnoticed until the movie “Hidden Figures” came out. She should be celebrated in more than a film. And last of all, Jane Goodall, anthropologist, primatologist and humanitarian who has been empowering for years. We cannot forget these women and many like them. And they are all great beauties!

Where the Hell is the real diversity? Why isn’t the older woman represented in this group? Where is the truly average woman? Where is the woman with thinning hair or alopecia? Where is the cellulite? Where is the woman with the gut? I want to see skin that resembles crepe paper!

Diversity—and real diversity is all but ignored in the worlds of fashion and beauty.

Even if the industries focused on famous beauties who are older–why not have a cosmetics ad campaign with Francoise Hardy as a spokeswoman? She’s just as beautiful now as she was back then.

Or my personal fave older lady. Jane Birkin! As she’s aged, her beauty has become more unique and she’s got a dynamic personality. I freakin’ LOVE this woman! Why hasn’t a skincare company used her as a spokeswoman? She’s got great skin!

And then my mind started spinning and, once again, I was brought to the land of fashion “experts” telling us what we should and should not wear when we enter that phase of life known as “older women”.

I find it rather interesting that “Vintage” style clothing is back. So where are the vintage aged models to showcase these vintage clothes?

Everyone loves a great vintage dress–especially one with a crinoline. So why not use a vintage model?

Did you know that Elle Online is telling us that skinny jeans are now official “Out”? Elle.com’s 2017 Fashion Trends (click on the link to read) Not on my watch buddy. Skinny jeans are, in fact, one of the most flattering style jeans that I’ve ever had the pleasure of wearing. I can’t stand the jeans with no stretch. They are stiff and crispy and cumbersome. Don’t get me started on that one!

Skinny jeans are out of style? Good. Maybe I can buy AG Skinny Jeans in bulk since they are no longer “in”. Maybe AG will slash prices and I can be a happy consumer!

Who makes this shit up anyway?

Classic white sneakers are out too? What mushrooms have these editors been eating? If classic white sneakers are out then how come I had to go to multiple stores to purchase a pair of white Converse Shoreliners if they are out–unless you mean out of stock because they are so popular!

Oh dear God. I am a Glamour “Don’t” in every fashionable way today. White classic sneakers–out! Skinny jeans–out! I’m sure my striped shirt has the wrong kind of stripes to be considered “in”! And my fake hair. I’ll tell ya, I am a hot mess! And I like it that way!

I recall a few years back reading an article about why women over a certain age shouldn’t wear a bikini. Are. You. Kidding. Me? Honest. It was in the Daily Mail. Click This. Although published in 2011, I don’t think mindsets have changed.

What’s the alternative then? A one piece that displays all the bumpy bits of the body? A one piece that rides up in between your cheeks giving you a perpetual wedgie?

Sorry, but I’m not wearing a one-piece that needs ass adjusting all day. I have a cheeky personality, but I don’t want my other cheeks on display!

No. When I go to the beach, I want to be comfortable. I want to be able to frolic in the sea without constantly adjusting my bathing suit. The beach is hot. A one-piece bathing suit absorbs the heat. And when you swim in a one-piece, it feels heavy when you exit the water.”

The bikini fits my needs. And it fits the needs of many other older women.

Ba-da-Bing. Ba-da-bum! THIS is what I’m wearing to the beach. Sunscreen galore. The flabby bits sticking out. I don’t care because I’m comfortable! As long as the “thighed burns” are shaved, then I’m good to go! Over 60’s CAN wear this!

This is where the Europeans got it right. Go to any European beach and you will see women of all ages in the tiniest bikinis. You will see older women sunbathing topless. You will see overweight women in total comfort while wearing those bikinis.

When I talk about how much I love the beaches in France, my daughter gets a bit “OMG. Mom. You need to stop. You sound pretentious!”.

The fact is, I’m not being pretentious when I extol my love for French beaches. I’m admiring and am quite touched by the fact that women of all ages are celebrated and nobody minds if an 80-year old woman is walking gingerly in a teeny bikini!

I’m also done with the ridiculous phrase “On Trend”. This is just a lazy way of saying “You Need to Wear This Overpriced Piece of Clothing/Accessory/ Shoe That Will Go Out of Style By Next Season”

Trends from last year. Where are they now? I’ll tell you where. In the trash and in consignment shops.

Trendy isn’t my particular style. Frumpy isn’t my particular style. Street isn’t my particular style. And since it has been ages since I have read—I mean really read a fashion magazine, I would say that for someone who has stopped reading those magazines, I’m doing a pretty decent job when it comes to fashion.

Fuzzy photos aside, my style is my own, and it’s pretty much classic-inspired.

Among my influences were the uniform I wore to school. The uniform taught me that wearing a blazer will add a professional look to anything. My love for plaid comes from wearing a uniform.

I can safely say that my obsession with blazers stems from the green blazer I wore to St. Patrick’s grammar school in Bay Shore, Long Island!

My mother also influenced the way I dress. As a young child, she made sure we were always dressed properly. Not trendy but more in a classic sense. She also passed onto me the greatest advice that I’ve never forgotten. She said that you can buy an inexpensive and cheap dress and if you have a very well-made and good pair of shoes, you can look like a million bucks. But a cheap and shoddy pair of shoes can ruin the look of the most expensive dress you have. Those are words that I live by. And my mother was not a fashion expert. She was a real woman who raised five children on a police officer husband’s salary. She knew a great value!

My parents back in the day. Look at my mother’s dress. Is it not adorable? And that little necklace? She gave me great fashion advice that I’ve passed on to my own daughter, and I’m sure Oona will pass it on when she has a daughter!

I know I sound like a broken record on this topic but it really bothers me. The older woman literally has no voice when it comes to fashion and beauty.

I have a big mouth. And in the past I’ve written about stuff we should be able to wear with no worries. In case you are a new friend to my blog, here’s the links:

How to Wear A Maxi Over 50

How to Wear Shorts over 50, 60

The Jeans for Every Body

I’m no expert but I know what I like!

We are all influenced for sure, but ladies, please. Be your own fashion icon. You are wearing the clothes. You know your body better than any fashion expert knows your body!

And why do fashion magazines continue to write about clothes that are financially out of reach for the average woman? Really? I do love beautiful clothing but within my budget.

I will gladly admit. I am in love with this Escada Matelasse Jacket and matching Sheath Dress. The prices are $1,450 for the jacket and $1,175 for the dress. Of which I cannot afford. But I CAN look for something similar at a much lower price point. So why aren’t alternatives shown in magazines–and WHY isn’t an older woman modeling this ensemble. Let’s get real–this ensemble is more on the mature side of fashion than on the youthful side!

Show me clothing that is affordable and fashionable at the same time.

Fashion and beauty magazines aren’t supposed to be deep. And that’s ok. I have The Atlantic and other publications for my deep reading.

But come on. Write about real issues such as how to tell a good wig from a piece of garbage. Lots of average women who are in the 50+ range suffer from hair loss. Whether from hormonal changes or aging or illness. It happens. Write about solutions and write about good and affordable ones!

This is a “Tony of Beverly” topper. I cut bangs into it. It was $55.00. It was a great price for helper hair. Why aren’t magazines writing articles about great fake hair?

Write about which foundations really are mature-skin friendly. Let me and my peers read about the best way to fake tan—lots of us have had skin cancer and sun damage. Help us look good during the summer.

Three of the foundations in my regular rotation. To be truthful, the Marc Jacobs is the most mature-friendly of the three. It is chock-full of moisture. I need to repurchase.

Inform us of the real movers and shakers of the older generation. Let us read and celebrate older women who have really made a difference. With age comes wisdom.

Isn’t it about time to notice the older woman once and for all. Include us. We ask not for exclusivity, but for inclusion. Simple. We buy. We wear. We want to look our best—no matter how old.

“Isn’t It About Time” Stephen Stills and Manassas. From the Down The Road album. I loved this album when I was in high school and I wish I still had it!! I’ll have to look for it on CD. But the song rings true. Isn’t it about time?

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged ageism, Fashion, trends | 30 Comments

Weight a Minute—Will Ya?

Posted on March 11, 2017 by Catherine

Thursday evening was Weight Watchers weigh-in and support. I have to be honest here. The meeting did nothing for me. Why? Because the topic centered on exercise and being fit.

I was the first to arrive at the WW meeting and I should have exited after weigh-in! I want support in a different way than a lecture on working out!

I have issues with this. Trust me. I believe in activity. In fact, when I lived in New York City, I was in the best shape of my life! Why was I in the best shape —you ask? It’s because of my ability to lose patience with the public transportation system. The buses in NYC were too damned slow for me—especially the M5 covering Riverside Drive. I would wait at a bus stop for 40 minutes sometimes—realizing I could have walked—which I ultimately ended up doing.

The slowest bus in the NYC Public Transportation system. Just my luck. Waiting for this on Riverside in the Winter was brutal. I ended up walking most of the time!

Same with the subway. During the summer months and no air-conditioning in the Netherlands of the metropolis that I loved so much, the chances of entering into an air-conditioned subway car were slim to none. So, I walked.

Yes. This is MY ass–30 years ago! I remember those pants too. Very ’80’s. They were from J. Crew. The jacket was from Tweeds. Amazing how I can remember where I purchased outfits from that long ago but I can’t remember where I put my phone! That ass is from walking!

Yes. I was fit and in great shape. And it was free—no money down!

Here’s another oldie but goodie. I have no idea who snapped this photo of me bending down rummaging through Christmas gifts. I was most likely looking for an important part of a toy that got lost! I remember that outfit too. The sweater was from Gap and the skirt was from B. Altman. Red suede. Where did my gut go??

Today’s world is different. If you live outside of a major city, you have to pay to get into shape. You need to join a gym, health club or spa. At a cost. At a high cost.

Read the fine lines. That $19.99 a month usually comes at a contract of 5 years! Bonaparte practically had to hire a lawyer to get his daughter out of a gym membership when she was in school!

I will give a caveat. Larger corporations include gym memberships as part of their healthcare programs—but I’m sure that’s coming to an end. (I’ll stop here-I promised Oona no more political rants. She is afraid that I will have a stroke or heart attack because I’m so upset about a certain person in the Whitey House).

That Orange thing in the Whitey House could use a workout or two hundred.

Let’s face it. Does anyone really look happy when they are working out?

Nobody behind this guy looks thrilled. I rest my case!

And then there’s the workout wardrobe. Sorry, but I would rather purchase a pair of skinny jeans. I would also rather spend the money on killer heels that I can’t walk in.

This photo is from the Lululemon site. The pants are “Align” pants and are $98.00!! Ninety-eight bucks to spend on clothing that gets sweaty and smelly. And then worn out on the street to run errands. And I’m the slob for wearing pants outta the hamper! Seriously–they should be called what they are. Not “Align” pants but “Swamp Ass” pants!

Walking in the ‘burbs just isn’t the same as walking in cities. But—walking is free of charge. As soon as the weather warms up a bit, I’ll be incorporating walking into my weight loss program. But not now!

And my big issue is that I went back to the Weight Watcher’s meetings because I need support to help me with my eating habit. I don’t want to stress eat. I don’t want to overeat. I want food to be my friend. Talk to me about eating habits and not working out!

I need support to stop eating stuff like an entire pizza–not just a slice. Do I need a higher power than Weight Watchers?

Figures that a Frenchman would be the Patron Saint of Overeaters and Gluttony! Maybe that’s why the French are so thin–because they pray to St. John Mary Vianney. And check out his middle name “Mary”–those French man saints are in touch with their feminine sides too. I’m going to pray to him before dinner tonight and every night!

Here’s the thing. I did lose weight this week. And I lost a half of a pound. The Weight Watchers crew was right—it is going to be a slow period of losing those last nine pounds. I’m fine with it.

I’m down a half-pound. I fear for next week because–truth be told. I chowed down on a few Philly soft pretzels at work yesterday. I wish I had prayed to St. John Mary Vianney!

And I’m fine with it because losing a half pound is better than gaining a half pound. Hell—at this point it’s better than staying the same weight as the week before because I’m not on maintenance yet. That’ll be the test.

Sometimes we want results quick. We want that weight to come off in a minute—but it isn’t the way it should be. We need to take our time. We need to be kind to ourselves. Don’t you think?

True dat. We don’t want to take our time. I’m guilty as charged. We want quick results. But I’m learning that great results take time. LOTS of time!

It’s all good—and here’s a look at what I wore this week. The weight is coming off slowly this time, but I do find that my pants and jeans are starting to fit much, much better:

Monday I was shoe lazy. I went with comfy ballet flats instead of heels. I’m wearing cropped stretchy pants from J. Crew. Last year I could not get these pants past my lower thighs. Now they are a perfect fit. I’m happy that I can wear these once again!

Tuesday I went with Black & Tan! And more flats. I am not a fan of Tory Burch bags or clothing but I love the Reva flats that I have. This outfit was one of my favorites! Bonaparte isn’t a fan of the tan/beige on me but he actually liked this outfit too!

Wednesday I wore red for International Women’s Day! I went with red ballet flats–boy, this was my week away from heels! Notice that I’m not wearing socks and the weather was cold AF! I can’t stand socks with pants. I don’t care how cold my feet get!

Thursday was WW Weigh-In Day. So I dressed for it. A light T-Shirt dress from Old Navy. I dressed it up with boots and a belt. This dress is great for weighing in because I can take my bra off in the car and slide it through the short sleeves. I can take the boots off quickly to get on the scale. I’m not kidding. the belt, watch, earrings, bra, all came off before weighing! I layered with a tan blazer and scarf. It’s the return of winter!

Yesterday’s outfit was another fave! I hadn’t worn my J. Crew French Hen sweater in a while but I love it. It fits much better now that I’ve lost weight. I purchased this pair of AG jeans about six pounds ago and they are fitting even better than when I initially bought them. May I add that I wore fake hair all week? Those toppers are working magic these days and are keeping my head warm too. I love a multitasking product!

BTW, That’s SNOW in my hair–not dandruff! It snowed like crazy yesterday! I threw on a trench coat and wore my dad’s favorite cap turned around backward–it looks more like a beret!

Here’s what I’m wearing today! A comfy sweater from J. Crew, AG jeans that aren’t torn because it is THAT cold–I’m breaking in a pair of Weejuns so the loafers are my shoe of choice. I miss my bangs so I cut bangs into one of my Tony of Beverly Toppers. I think I’ll cut bangs into another topper. Instant Botox those bangs!

That’s it for this week’s weight loss post! Let’s hope I’m down another half-pound next week–and let’s hope the Weight Watcher’s meeting topic is focused more on our eating habits and strategies for weight loss other than working out!

Here’s a special Saturday Treat. Matthew Sweet and Susanna Hoffs’ version of Neil Young’s “Cinnamon Girl”. It’s from their CD, Under the Covers. They cover great songs and the kids got this CD for me. I LOVE the blend of their voices. Enjoy!!! It’s funny. I love this song but I can’t stand cinnamon!!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Fashion, Humor, Weight Loss, weight watchers | 23 Comments

My Mind is in a BLOG—Not in a Fog!

Posted on March 8, 2017 by Catherine

Well…. sometimes my mind is in a fog. However, tonight’s topic is BLOG!

I was inspired by my friend La Contessa of The Vintage Contessa blog fame. She wrote a post about “Blogging” and the post got me to thinking.

As a reader, what do I look for in a blog? What kinds of blogs do I enjoy? And what kind of blogger am I? This is all very deep thinking for me so I may have to leave and get myself a cocktail.

On second thought I won’t get a cocktail. I would have to drive into Philly to get a nice shot of bourbon. Then I just realized I have a WW weigh-in tomorrow. The cocktail is too many wasted points. Another time!

It’s funny. I do subscribe to a great many blogs. And I read many of them when I’m not working or writing or running errands. And the blogs that I always return to are the ones that have a great story.

I love a good story. I love great editorial. I love reading about people who have allowed me to enter into their lives the way a good friend would. I love reading about the ups and the downs. I love reading about the good times and the fun.

I love a blog that makes me happy and doesn’t take itself too seriously. I love a blog with a sense of humor.

If I’m reading a blog about cosmetics, I want to read an in-depth review about the product. Tell me why you like the product. Tell me why you don’t like the product. Don’t praise something because you received it for free. Be honest.

Does the product work? Please let me know–and give me an honest look!

Oh. I like honesty and transparency in a blog as well. I’m not a “smoke and mirrors” woman—get rid of the photoshop. When I read your blog, and see your photos, I want to see the real author. I don’t want to see where legs and arms have been slimmed by a computer. I want to see wrinkles and flaws.

I like the real…and when I write my posts I always try to…

Keep it honest. And transparent. And real.

If I write about a tweezer, I’ll tell you why I use the tweezer. And it isn’t for my eyebrows. It’s to rid my chin of the hair that is growing at the bottom end of my face instead of the top of my head!

Might I add, this Tweezerman tweezer is not the greatest one in my collection! It’s hard to grab onto those unsightly lady whiskers!

I have flaws. And I try to write about them in a fun way. Nobody is perfect. I’m bald as a cue ball on the back of my head.

Have you seen the back of my head? It pretty much looks like this cue ball!

It makes me feel good to write about my hair loss because I’m not alone. I like to bring topics like female baldness out in the open. Hey—baldness isn’t just for men. Baldness believes in equality!

By the way, the pics were taken this past Sunday. I have no makeup on because I was too lazy. But–to the top left is my bio hair after washing and a roller set. Top right. Oops! Where did all my hair go? It went to my chin! Bottom left. After a sprinkle of hair fibers. Bottom middle, and bottom right. Wearing a topper in each pic. Hey. Never a bad hair day with fake hair. You’re welcome!

The fashion industry ignores older women. Someone’s gotta write about Shit Old Ladies Do and wear! And we wear clothing very well. When I write about what I wear, I really have fun with it.

I was getting my best Bardot look on for what turned out to be my most-read post: Shit Old Ladies Do I had more fun writing that post!

And speaking of clothing, I’m not wealthy. That means I purchase my clothing, shoes, bags within a budget. I think that’s important because there are so many blogs I read where the price point of the clothes is just way out of reach for most women. Don’t get me wrong. I have a couple of pricey Longchamp leather bags–but for the most part I’m on a middle-class budget!

We all know about my love-affair with J. Crew Clothing–But there are times when even I think their styling AND pricing is too much. Atypical60 Looks at The J. Crew Style Guide was another fun post.

A year later and still in J. Crew, but at sale pricing!

I’ll write about travel, but in a very different way. A very different way. It’s usually about the misadventures that I experience with my Frenchman.

This is how WE travel in Paris. We hang out in cemetaries taking photos of tombstones that give us a smile!

Many women go to Paris to buy designer bags, shoes and clothing. I run to my favorite discount pharmacie–CityPharma and load up on the beauty goods!

Life is good great! And at times, things happen to make us sad or bring us down a bit. Sometimes my posts will reflect those trying times. But mostly, the posts I write are upbeat and positive.

My little blog is very important to me. I started when I lost my job. It was a devastating time for me but writing about my life in little bits and pieces made me realize just how lucky I was to have the support of Bonaparte and my kids!

Me and the kids. Oona, Jake, and Roman–they are my jewels..

And Bonaparte is my rock–and presently the keeper of my credit cards! (There’s a reason for that)

I can’t leave Chippy out of this. He’s the king–and the one who ate three of my beauty blending sponges–and about seventeen rolls of toilet paper…and…

And little by little, I found my niche and my humor came back and I found that my blog was my baby.

My blog isn’t about numbers. It’s about trying to put a smile on a reader’s face. Sometimes people get annoyed with me—and that’s ok. We are a great group of women here at Atypical60 and we agree and disagree really well! We play nice!

Here’s a big hug and thank you to everyone who enjoys reading this little blog. You keep me going. You make me happy. You make me want to write. And you always manage to help me bring my sense of humor back after I’ve lost it!

Thank you!!

The spectacular Bette Midler with “Friends”–we all need ’em!! And I’ve made some great ones through blogging! I never get tired of watching her because she always looks like she’s having a great, great time!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged friends, Humor | 71 Comments

A Little Trip to D.C.

Posted on March 7, 2017 by Catherine

Do you like getting away for the weekend? Someplace close to home but far enough that it calls for a night at a hotel? The weekend before last, Bonaparte decided that an overnight trip to D.C. was long overdue. We dropped Chippy off at the doggie day care for a sleep over with his canine buddies. We spent a leisurely morning packing and we were off to make our way through traffic on I-95.

I still get a feeling of pride when I am in our Nation’s Capital. The Washington Monument is always a splendor to see!

We hadn’t been to our Nation’s Capital in a while. It’s our favorite place for a quick overnight—and I was so happy to be going there that I wasn’t even thinking about the politics. Both of us just wanted to have a good evening and enjoy the rest of the weekend. Close to home, the drive rarely takes more than three hours unless we hit a major traffic jam.

Oh yes. My little emoji uses the same language that I do! But an overnight trip truly is “Fan-f@!#ing-Tastic!

It isn’t as expensive as an overnight in New York and we always have a good time.

We regularly stay at the Marriott in Falls Church. It’s on the outskirts and not in D.C. proper. The location is incredibly convenient because the drive is 20 minutes away from downtown D.C. And the price point is incredibly reasonable.

Our old haunt, Bistro Français on M Street in Georgetown sadly went out of business. It’s a shame because this little place had been around for over 40 years and was consistently good but the chef and owner decided to retire.

Bonaparte was devastated. And in his stubborn French way, vowed to “discover” another French restaurant. He did and he found a winner– La Chaumière.

If you think the outside is adorable, just wait till you see the inside!

We got to the hotel, relaxed for a bit then got ready for our dinner. I do not know what I was thinking but I wore a pair of very high heels. I absolutely love the shoes and wear them to work quite often. But I didn’t think ahead about walking up and down M Street on the uneven pavement in such dangerous footwear.

These were the beauties I wore. They are lovely for the office but just don’t work for walking on city sidewalks or in city streets! Personally, I don’t know how streetwalkers do it. I admire them!

I couldn’t walk. Bonaparte was thrilled because the fact that I was unable to walk meant one thing–I couldn’t go into my favorite stores—among them J. Crew and TJ Maxx. The fact I couldn’t go into the stores because I couldn’t walk on the sidewalk to get to the stores made him merrier! And so, my Frenchman was thrilled because not being able to walk meant I could not spend any money!

No shopping aside, we ended up having a great, great dinner. La Chaumière’s interior has a rustic elegance. It’s comfortable and not intimidating. It’s larger than I pictured and as we left the restaurant after dinner, there was a line of people waiting to get in.

The interior is really very charming and cozy too!

Bonaparte started off with a pâté—which he said was delicious. I had a pike quenelle. Let me tell you something. I love quenelles. The best way I can describe a quenelle is that it’s a lighter-than-air dumpling and it’s like biting into a cloud of flavor. And the lobster sauce that the quenelle was floating was a sea of flavor!

The morsel that Bonaparte SHARED with me was absolutely delicious. Lots of good flavor but not overpowering…

This quenelle–was so incredibly light and heavenly that I HAVE to find a recipe. This is my new project!

As usual, Bonaparte went with steak and frites. I ordered the Magret de Canard—duck breast, in a black currant sauce. I love comparing the duck I order in restaurants to the duck I make at home and this was heavenly.

I really should not be posting photos of food like this while I’m back on Weight Watchers. I’m hungry now. Anyway, this is the Magret de Canard. OMG. It WAS better than mine. I love duck!

I don’t know what it is about red wine, but if it is a “good” one, I can drink it without suffering from a headache or heartburn. The wine we had was really good.

Do you like a good red wine? Try this. It was REALLY, REALLY good!

Coffee and dessert and we were let loose into the night.

Yes. We are a very wild couple. Our idea of D.C. nightlife is driving through the City and enjoying the sites. One of the things I absolutely love about Georgetown is that it is filled with young people. It’s just fun to see them out and enjoying life!

Yeah. Driving around Washington D.C. late at night is our idea of fun!

The next morning, was brisk and sunny. And after a hearty breakfast and a quick pack, we were off to the National Gallery of Art.

While Bonaparte enjoys eggs, and bacon, and sausage, and toast, I stick to my usual–a big bowl of oatmeal with dried fruit. Oatmeal–I could eat it anytime!

Oh. And I dressed for comfort the heels were packed away!

The National Gallery is one of my favorite places in D.C. I cannot even tell you how many times we’ve been here. And the secret on a Sunday morning is to get there early before it opens at 11 AM. We try to arrive before 10:30 AM

NOTE: The earlier you arrive, the better your chances of getting a parking space. And on Sunday morning parking is easy to come by. Park the car, walk around for a bit, people watch—it’s all part of the enjoyment!

A gloriously sunny day when the weather is still cold is the best time to visit a museum!

The fountain surrounded by flowers in the rotunda always gives me a good feeling..

Here’s some flowers I picked just for you!

So, this is one of the great things about the Gallery—you never know what kind of great exhibit you will come across. This visit it was the Della Robbia exhibit. Have you ever heard of Luca or Andrea Della Robbia? I hadn’t. And I like to think I’m pretty well-educated in the arts. I’m so pretentious! Oh well, you learn something new every day!

Come and look at some of the exhibit with me:

I was fascinated by the lemons and pinecones mixed with the greenery! I need to find replicas of these things to hang at home!

I want to know the secret of keeping these colors so vivid after centuries and centuries. I can’t even keep a pair of black pants from fading after one season!

I love a great Madonna–and this one is beautiful!

This was almost creepy because IRL it looked like she was looking right through you!

This yellow, green, blue color combination is doing something to me. I want to wear these colors!

It was so kind of the Della Robbia’s to sculpt a bust of Francis I of France!

A beautiful Pieta–Della Robbia style.

And we end with a couple of Saints!

After the exhibit, we roamed around looking at paintings. Now—my favorite artists are the French. I love the Impressionists but I also love Delacroix and Courbet. This time around we spent a good amount of the day admiring the Flemish and Dutch painters. You know, I forgot how much I like the Flemish/Dutch painters.

Here’s a bit of what we saw. And you know, when I look at a painting sometimes I think of things that I’m sure others don’t. I’ll explain:

I love Rembrandt’s portraits. I love the dark/light thing he has going on. But most of all, I dig the hat. Why can’t I find a hat like that?

“A Young Man in a Large Hat” by Frans Hals is one of my favorite paintings of all time. This young guy looks totally wasted. WHAT was he drinking? I’ll bet from the expression on his face that he was thinking of some girl he met the night before he posed for this. And the hat. The hat! I LOVE that hat. I want that large hat. It’s so much better than that dopey hat Pharrell wore in that Happy song video. And look at Young Man’s outfit. I would totally wear that.

Here’s another outfit I would wear. I am coveting that tan coat. It’s beautiful. The hat? Not so much–I would wear Young Man’s hat with that coat. But those boots with the red lining are to-die for. It isn’t fair that men got to have the good clothes back then..

…While the women looked like this? That hat is awful. It looks like a wig cap–believe me, I KNOW wig caps! And that thing around her neck. I guess its the way women hid turkey neck back then! Can we put some make up on this woman please?

I’m not crazy about the red hat on this Vermeer girl. I like the earrings in his other painting.

This guy looks miserable because I’ll be that turban weighs a good 25 pounds!

“Agrippina & Germanicus” by Sir Peter Paul Rubens. If I were Germanicus, I would want a refund from Sir Rubens for giving me that huge double chin. I don’t think they had chin lifts back then but he could have given her a better profile! Her hair is beautiful!

I see still life paintings like this and think “dinner”! I’m still hungry!

See what I mean? I put more thought on the clothing. Why don’t they make hats like they used to? Here are more paintings and sculptures from our little visit:

This gentleman’s neck thing is so much nicer than the woman a few paintings above. His is softer fuller, prettier. I would wear this one to hide my turkey neck!

I love the dress but she looks so depressed! Oh wait. She’s getting ready to stab herself. Or maybe since tweezers weren’t invented yet, she’s getting ready to cut some lady whiskers off her chin.

I’m bewildered by the fact that men, even young men dressed so beautifully. If a young man dressed like that today, he would be banned from using the men’s room!

..and why can’t a lingerie company make a bra that could give us the same “lift” as this woman-and they didn’t have padded bras in those days. Bring back boning in dresses!

This is a Spanish painting but I can’t remember the artist. I LOVE this painting. The women are so cute. I love the look on the woman with the little coral bow and I love how you can tell the other woman is probably laughing behind that fabric!

I love a tricorn hat and I wish that they were still sold for regular use. I would definitely wear one. The rest of the ensemble does nothing for me. I think the over-the-chin look is just wrong!

I’m amazed at how I’m naturally drawn to French painters. This is another one of my all-time favorites. “Elizabeth Throckmorton Canoness of the Order of the Dames Augustines” by Nicolas de Largilliere. I love nuns. And this painting is so beautiful-I swear if you stand close enough, you can get a waft of that powdery scent nuns are known for. One of my faves!

I LOVE the Art Nouveau period in painting and this is one of the details in a series of paintings about Joan of Arc by Louis-Maurice Boutet de Monvel. He is best known for his illustrations in children’s books but I love the clean lines and the basic simplicity.

Here we are in the Rodin section. Let me tell you something. I can’t stand Rodin. As a person. He was a tool. And if you ever get the chance, watch the film “Camille Claudel” starring Isabelle Adjani. I can bet that Rodin took credit for this sculpture when Camille Claudel is the one who sculpted it…

This one too. It has Claudel written all over it!

And as we exit, we bid farewell to France’s greatest king, Louis XIV, the Sun King!

I hope you enjoyed our little weekend trip! You don’t have to go far away to take a little trip. Sometimes the best way to chill and regroup is a little getaway during the weekend!

This has been played more than once on this blog but I can’t help it. Every time I go to a museum this enters my mind: Mussorgsky “Pictures at an Exhibition”.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Travel, Weekend trips | 25 Comments

A Long A -Weighted Return

Posted on March 5, 2017 by Catherine

If you follow the blog, you know what I’m talking about. If you don’t follow or even if you forgot any of the details, here’s a bit of a backstory.

Around Labor Day Weekend, I decided that something had to be done about the weight I gained over the two years of non-employment. I ballooned up to a little past 165 pounds. I wasn’t comfortable at this weight. And I am not getting any younger. I wanted to get to a healthy weight.

It also doesn’t help that I have the appetite like a feral dog or the appetite of a football team. Let’s face it. I’m a girl with a huge appetite. I love to eat!

Patsy knows me. Well. She is one of those women who doesn’t eat. Food, that is!

Trust me. When my own dog started to lick his chops every time he saw my ass, I knew it was time to do something about my weight. After all, I didn’t want to go to bed and have Chippy gnaw at my luxurious deposits of fat whilst I was in a deep slumber.

That is NOT the look of love that Chippy has given me. It is the look of hungerlust when he mistakes my ass for two round patties of beef!

I gave myself a personal goal of 140 pounds. I wasn’t looking to be the weight that I was when I was in high school or when I was a young adult. I just wanted to be a weight that would allow me to fit into clothing that no longer fit.

Ok Eddie. But I’m going to try to be healthier and do things that healthy people do. And that thin people do. Except run and join a gym.

And so, I revisited Weight Watchers. But I did it online. And it worked. For a while.

And I wrote weekly posts about the progress.

And then the Holidays came. With a three-day to Paris after Thanksgiving, and with Christmas and the kids being home, I ate. A lot. And I was also aware of what I ate. I didn’t gain but I didn’t lose. So far. So, good.

Just a sampling of what went down (in my belly) over Christmas!

But—as I tried to get back into the swing of things, I found myself losing motivation.

And then my emotions got in the way. The results of the presidential election horrified me. I love my country. I love what my country stands for. And now I’m petrified.

This had me realizing that I could do one of two things. I could eat my emotions away. Which I started to do. Or—I could seek help. And I did. I decided to return back to Weight Watchers.

That’s right. I DON’T have time to eat my emotions away. I DO have time to return to Weight Watchers and understand why I let my emotions get the best of me!

My first attempt to return failed when I came down with THE worst stomach bug of all time. It was so bad I had to go to the doctor. It took over a week to get back to normal.

My second attempt to return failed with the sudden death of one of my very, very few best friends.

I had visions of raw cookie dough and chocolate syrup right outta the bottle swimming in my head.

Taken right out of my fridge. There’s hardly any left. And it’s true. I don’t even need milk. Oh yes I did! And yes I do!

My third attempt to return was a charm.

I‘m back!! And on track!!

I returned this Thursday evening after work. As a Lifetime member I was a bit taken aback that I was charged $15. But, hey, apparently, I won’t have to pay after a month. I’m ok with that.

I don’t know if this is a true success story, given the fact I’ve been to WW many times. But for now, it’s an attempt at success!

I wore as little as possible to work that day. I fake tanned so that I didn’t have to wear tights to cover my pasty-white, fish-belly blue legs. Just my luck I ran out and one leg was darker than the other!

I lie not. This is my official “Thursday Weigh-In” ensemble. A light t-shirt dress from Old Navy (which fit me 20 pounds heavier and is just a bit loose now), a big scarf which I took off at weigh in. Bonaparte’s socks. Now he’ll find out I stole them from him!

Hell, I took my bra off before the meeting because it’s so heavily padded! I almost took my fake hair off too!

I was pleasantly surprised by the number! But there’s still work to be done and diligence to practice!

When I got on the scale, my weight was lower than I anticipated. And I was told that I really don’t have much to lose at all. I set a new goal. 135. Simply because I want some leeway for vacation, holiday, and event times.

And I also want to have some extra room for a load of sushi. Not just eight pieces!

I was also told that this last 9 pounds will not be an easy loss. I’m fine with that because it took my 6 months to lose 20 pounds. And that is why I returned.

A + for attempting and trying.

Sometimes we need a little help. Sometimes we need a bit of support. I’m glad to be returning to the meetings because those meetings are a safe haven for me. It’s where I can go and be with others who understand my journey. I can understand their journey.

It’s good to admit when you need support. Whether the issue is big, small or in-between. It’s all good.

It is also good to pick up on my weekly weight loss journey posts. I missed writing them!

Anyway, a recipe for Overnight Oats was passed around at the meeting and I made it my own.

I omitted the peanut butter and the chocolate almond milk.

I added water to replace the chocolate almond milk and dried cherries to replace the chocolate peanut butter. It was delicious. I will be making this to bring to work.

Last night I made sure that we had a healthier dinner—despite Bonaparte’s wishes for sauce.

Chicken breast in smothered tomato and olive. Served with blanched Haricots Verts. Tasty, healthy and totaling around 8 points!

And yesterday afternoon, we visited a co-worker’s new endeavor. A sandwich restaurant. I ordered a vegetable hoagie, ate 1/3 of it and put the rest of the sandwich away. I’ll have the remainder as my Sunday evening light supper.

My co-worker, Umer, opened a little sandwich place on the side. I admire a great work ethic and boy does he have a great one! If you live on the Philly Main Line, stop by for a sandwich par excellence! And yes. I was able to incorporate a sandwich into my daily tracking!

It’s all about planning and strategizing and getting back into the grove.

And there’s still room for the bubbly! Yay! You didn’t think I would give up my aperitif now, did you?

I don’t know about you, but now is the time of year when I start to get a bit antsy about winter. I want to get into warmer-weather clothing but it’s still a while away for that. Do you feel the same way? Here’s what I wore this week. Trying to think of new ways to wear the same clothing!

Yesterday’s outfit was taking a cue from Ines de la Fressange and her neon pants. I took these pants out of the hamper (come on now, we’ve ALL done that) and let them air out to give me a bit of a spring-time vibe. The pants are now a bit loose in the waist. I should have worn a belt!

Jeans Friday at work. Note how the fake tan is darker on the foot on the right in the pic.

Thursday’s look is above in the post. Wednesday’s outfit was checked pants, a black sweater, and flats. I’m getting lazy at this time of year…

Tuesday I wore a pair of GAP jeggings that hadn’t fit in about three years. I’m not kidding. I was so happy to be wearing these again. SEE–don’t ever throw clothing away. If you are determined, those clothes WILL fit again! I need to wear these booties more and the plaid Lady Jacket from J. Crew is light enough to be worn well into the end of Spring!

Monday’s look was my favorite look of the week. The plaid pants are from Loft and went from being tight when I first purchased them over two years ago, to not fitting at all to now being lose. Lace heels. I love them. A green turtleneck and navy blazer. I think this will be my St. Patrick’s day ensemble!

Note: Other than the Lady Jacket and the green turtleneck–both on sale from J. Crew this winter, every single item of clothing I wore this past week is years old. Funny how some clothing can still manage to fit with a weight gain and loss. Many items of my clothing fits from loss and gain because I have a large frame. I do not have small bones. My build is athletic–even though I’m lazy as all get out!

Thanks for reading. I know I haven’t posted regularly for a while but now I’m back!! XOXOXOXO

I get by with a little help from my friends!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Fashion, Humor, Weight Loss | 40 Comments

In Living Color (Corrector) And Random Thoughts

Posted on March 1, 2017 by Catherine

It’s never too late to get on the bandwagon for “new” trends in cosmetics and beauty. And it seems that color correctors are the latest and greatest.

Here’s the weird thing. I’ve always been under the impression that yellow neutralized blue. I have yellow product to prove it. But orange? No. Just. No. Who has time to put all this on their faces anyway? Wait. That dark pink next to the green–do I put that OVER the green to neutralize it?

The funny thing is-I distinctly remember a product by Revlon back in the early 1970’s when I was in high school. My face has always had a tendency toward rosacea. Otherwise known as the “Irish Glow”. And I purchased this green liquid that promised to get rid of redness.

It did. I walked around with a green pallor on my face until the school nurse stopped me in the hall and suggested my parents take me to the doctor for blood work.

That was the last time I used a color corrector.

The green color corrector didn’t work for me back then!

Fast forward to now. I managed to get the gist of contouring. In fact, I really do like the way contouring gives my features more definition and softens the angles of my bone structure.

And my skin still gets red. And now that I’m aging, I’ve noticed a hint of blue under my eyes and in the corners of my eyes.

I love my Well-Rested concealer, which I am never without. It still remains the best concealer I own. And I do have two other products for getting the “blue” out. One is a yellow cream by e.l.f. and the other is more like a whipped mousse by Mally. Both do a decent job, but both take more time and effort to “get it right”.

Bottom is another e.l.f. product. A creamy yellow to get rid of the blue–or purple. Above that is the Mally corrector. A little of that goes a long, long, long way!

Anyway, on a recent trip to Target, I stopped by the e.l.f. cosmetics display to see what was new and inexpensive. I came across a color correcting palette—Corrective Concealer Palette to be exact. At $3.00, I couldn’t resist.

There are four little creams in this palette. It’s actually pretty sturdy. It comes with a built-in mirror and a little brush. (The brush is a waste). The colors correct and neutralize.

Yellow, Blue (or is it Lavander) Green and Peach make for a colorful face. Actually these are supposed to help take color away!

The only two I’ve used are the yellow and the green.

The first time I used this, I went with a bit of a heavy hand. The second time, I went a bit lighter. I ended up applying the product with a damp beauty sponge and blended very well. I’m not gonna lie or give you alternative facts on this.

I’m tellin’ it like it is when it comes to cosmetics!

It takes a while to blend this stuff in. The consistency of the cream is great for more mature skin because it is more hydrating.

You can see the blotchy redness on my face before applying any product.

Green and yellow will make my skin look more even in tone. I just realized my nose is crooked!

But when I have to get ready for work in the morning, I want a fast face. In between lingering sips of my morning coffee and checking social media, because social media is the only form of social life I happen to have, taking tissues out of Chippy’s mouth, and getting my fake hair ready, I don’t want to spend a ton of time trying to get the red off my face or the blue away from my eyes.

Welcome to my morning! THIS is what I spend the most time on. Taking tissues away from Chippy. Tissues are his favorite snack food!

Did it work? Yeah. But nothing that concealer and foundation wouldn’t do faster. I’m beginning to think that less is more these days with all these products. My routine is just that. A routine. I put moisturizer on and follow with primer. I give myself five minutes to let the primer soak in then I start with the other cosmetics.

This photo was taken after I left the office for the day. The redness is covered. BUT, I also have foundation on and my foundation outlasted the ashes from the morning!

I don’t want to add any more time to my already hectic morning schedule. After all, I am a bit on the lazy side….

The colors in the palette remind me of Spring, which is just three weeks away. Spring reminds me of Easter. Speaking of which, yesterday was Fat Tuesday. The day before the Lenten season begins. I ate a ton of these beautiful pastel Robin’s Eggs. Delicious chocolate covered malted milk balls in the shape of eggs and covered with a pastel candy coating. I ate so many I almost laid eggs this morning!

I would have been better off rubbing those yellow eggs under my eyes instead of them going right to my hips. And YES. I ate all of these. I was afraid to go to the bathroom this morning in fear I would lay a couple of these eggs! They don’t call it “Fat” Tuesday for nothin’!

And Easter reminds me of Lent. My old-school memories of Lent are not ones of suffering and giving up things I love in order to sacrifice. My memories are fond ones. In fourth grade I gave up sugar and surprisingly to this day, I still have tea with no sugar. Some things last forever.

I remember the nuns taking us over to church for what seemed like hours on Friday afternoons. Oh wait. It was for hours!

This is an example of the kind of nuns that would march us over to church during Friday afternoons in Lent. What a start to the weekend!

And those nuns put the fear of God in me. We have a very old crucifix at home. It’s one of those old-school ones that slides open and inside are candles and a small bottle of holy water. And there are two holes drilled into this cross in which the candles are placed.

OK. Jesus fell off the crucifix some years ago. BUT–I’m afraid to nail him back on the cross for obvious reasons! I’m not nailing HIM back to the cross. And he’s too heavy to glue. I’ll just tie him with a ribbon….

This is if you need “Last Rites”. Or, as it used to be called, “Extreme Unction”. If someone is dying or that sick, I don’t think the dramatic ones, such as myself, would be thinking of getting the candles and holy water out of the crucifix. It’s too extreme!

WTF??? What an awful name for a sacrament!! This man doesn’t look too happy to be seeing Hipster Jesus or the Angels. I don’t think he wants to go just yet!

And I remember all the women going to church and wearing hats or mantillas on their heads. Covering a woman’s head was so important back then that my mother carried tissues and bobby pins in her purse. Just in case we happened to stop by church to pray. I’m not kidding. This is true. Tissues. On the head. I always double-checked to make sure they were not used.

Only Catholics would walk around with tissues on their heads. It’s an added way of suffering!

Today I went to Mass and not only was there nary a hat or mantilla in sight, but one girl had a pair of shorts so short that her origin of the world was practically exposed! Things change over time.

If I can find one of these mantillas I’m going to start going back to Mass on a weekly basis. I want to be like Jackie! Maybe I’ll get gloves too!

Lent always has a special place in my soul and my heart. I think it’s because I miss those days of ritual. I miss those Friday afternoons in church. While we were supposed to be praying, my mind would oftentimes wander to other things that had nothing to do with the Lent or Christ’s suffering. I was usually thinking of what I would be doing on the weekend.

Or perhaps it’s the fun I had at the Friday Night Fish Fry’s at the Hibernian Hall in Hamilton when we lived in New Jersey. It was a community of people who got together and just had a great time. To this day, my kids talk about those fish fry’s!

Hands down. Best part of Lent is the Fish Fry!

And I liken Hipster Jesus’ 40 days in the desert with Satan’s temptation to that of the four years of suffering that I will go through with Trump as (notmy) president.

Jesus got off easy. He only had to deal with 40 days of Satan. I gotta deal with four years of the new Satan! I’ll pray he goes away. For good!

Either way you look at it, the next 40 days will be a time when I won’t give up my gutter mouth. Nor will I give up the occasional piece of candy or cake. Instead, it will be a time when I’ll just try to be a kinder person.

And I will be much kinder because “Awards Season” is over so I have nobody to snark on! Oh..those Oscar dresses–truly tasteless for the most part!

Enjoy this first day of March. The warmer weather is on the way and the days are getting longer. We’ve got good times to look forward to!

I’ve been listing to Vivaldi’s “Four Seasons” in my car—and love listing to “Spring” because it’s just around the corner! It’s so beautiful. Don’t you think?

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Beauty, Humor, Lent | 22 Comments

Atypical60 Looks At The Oscars 2017!!

Posted on February 27, 2017 by Catherine

It was the worst of dressing. It was the best of dressing. Not really, it was more of the worst of dressing.

We’ll get to that later.

I want to start by saying that I actually enjoyed the Oscars this year because of Jimmy Kimmel’s hosting ability. He was sharp, funny, charming and cutting at the same time.

THE OSCARS(r) - The 89th Oscars(r) broadcasts live on Oscar(r) SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 26, 2017, on the ABC Television Network. (ABC/Eddy Chen) JIMMY KIMMEL

THE OSCARS(r) – The 89th Oscars(r) broadcasts live on Oscar(r) SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 26, 2017, on the ABC Television Network. (ABC/Eddy Chen)
I honestly was surprised at what a great host Jimmy Kimmel was. He can definitely come back!

Justin Timberlake’s opening number was very entertaining. I love me an all-around great entertainer and Justin fits the bill so perfectly. He can dance—which, when the camera panned to the audience, is something the white actors and actresses cannot do.

Timberlane should have performed ALL the nominated songs with his own touch. His opening number was fantastic!

They couldn’t even act how to dance. It was painfully funny to watch them. Thank you, Justin Timberlake, for being one of the small percentage of white people who can dance (I’m also one of them).

Oddly enough, Elaine dances better than the majority of the white actors and actresses in the Oscar audience last night!

It was awful to sit through some of the speeches too. Why can’t these people just say “Thank you” and walk off the stage. I don’t want to hear about you thanking your pre-school drama teacher nor do I want to hear you yap about the ice cream man’s effect upon your acting. OK?

The speeches are so self-serving.

I did like Casey Affleck’s acceptance speech. He seems like a very down-to-earth guy. I also love the way his acting is so subtle and not over-the-top. Denzel Washington didn’t seem to like Casey’s speech. Or maybe my Denzel was pissed off that the Oscar didn’t go home with him!

~~Jesus~~ Casey Affleck’s speech was one of the better ones. But Denzel looked really angry. Maybe Denzel came down with the stomach bug that I had and was “holding” things in! Or perhaps a little birdie flew out of his wife’s bird’s nest hairdo and nibbled at my Denzel!

As much as I am in love with Viola Davis, her speech was eye-roll worthy. Viola. Don’t take your Oscar acceptance speech too dramatically. You are not auditioning. You won!! Enough with the emoting. I still love you!

Now THIS is the Viola I love to see. Smiling and beautiful. Viola–you looked too serious during the speech. Stop it. Be the fun Viola! I love you so much!

And speaking of speeches. Why do they all have to give the cliché “This-award-belongs-to-everyone” spiel? Take the damn win gracefully. Thank the guy or woman who cast you. Thank the director, and for crissakes, thank yourself.

Here’s what I would say if I won an Oscar for acting:

Me: “Wow! I’m really surprised!” “Anyway, I would like to thank (insert casting agent here) for casting me. And I would also like to thank (name of director) for really bringing out the best in me. I hope I didn’t disappoint you. I also want to give myself credit for working hard and having a stellar work ethic. It isn’t every day that you have an employee like me on set” “I work hard for what I have and it shows”. “Again. Thank you”.

And then I would walk off the stage. I would not thank God because when I wake up every morning I thank him. I would not thank my kids because as much as I love them, I am thankful to them every day. I wouldn’t thank Bonaparte either unless he gave me back my credit cards!

NOTE TO HOLLYWOOD CASTING PEOPLE! HERE I AM! Look at ME! See the many different facets and emotions I put forth. I’m happy. Pensive. Mysterious. Angry. Sad. Scared. Thoughtful. Playful. Adorable. ~~Old.~~ Mature. OK. I look more like the neighborhood crazy lady. But who cares. I’m an ACTOR!!!

And what about the snafu with best picture. I should have stayed awake a bit longer but as soon as the wrong “best picture” was announced, I shut off the remote and went to sleep. I know every single person who saw “Hidden Figures” said that was the movie that should have won. Well, at least “La La Land” did not win. I liken it to “Birdman” with songs and white people bad dancing.

The actor, Mahershala Ali who won for Best Supporting Actor–people were all goo-goo over the fact he was the first Muslim actor to win the Oscar. I’m really getting annoyed with the labels. Who. Cares. What. Religion. He. Is. Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Athiest. Why does his belief get a mention. The man can act. Let’s believe he won the Oscar because of his acting ability and not the fact he’s a Muslim. He’s also cute.

Yeah Mahershala Ali. I really could care less what your religious beliefs are. I just care about you as an ACT-OR!!!

This could have been a conspiracy you know. I think the younger powers-that-be in Hollywood sabotaged Beatty and Dunaway because of their older age. Yeah. Ageism runs rampant. In Hollywood, you are ancient at 40. Beatty and Dunaway are close to 80 if not already there. I’m sure they were made to look senile. Yeah. I’m pretty sure they were sabotaged!

Hollywood doesn’t like THIS version of Bonnie and Clyde. They are too old….

Hollywood likes THIS version better. The version without Faye’s bad plastic surgery!

But you know what really bothered me? The fact that the American entertainment press as well as The Academy never congratulated Isabelle Huppert on her Cesar win for best actress in the film “Elle”—of which she was nominated for an Oscar.

Huppert won the Cesar Friday evening. I’m sure she was enjoying some very expensive French Champagne and wine afterwards. Then she had to get on a plane and fly to L.A. Then she had to get all dolled up for the Oscars. Not one reporter mentioned her Cesar win. These are supposed to be well-informed journalists and yet, nobody could be the good American and congratulate her! Shame on the press!

Isabelle Huppert with her Cesar award! She looks fabulous in green. She looks fabulous period!

I congratulate you Isabelle! I love you!

But let’s get to the good stuff. Let’s get to the fashions or lack thereof.

It never ceases to amaze me at how awful these actresses (Yes. I’m being sexist. They are females and I am referring to them as actresses) can look at a major event. Their stylists really need to be fired. Terminated. Let go. I should be hired instead.

Let’s have a look-see.

Huppert at the Oscars. She looked a little tired–considering she probably partied all night after WINNING that Cesar that nobody congratulated her on! Her Cesar dress was much better. This dress would have been better in a brighter color but I’m not crazy about it. It’s bland. She should have gone with a more fitted dress because she has a great body!

Kirsten Dunst. Hands down. THE best dressed of the evening. This Dior is a knockout. Look at the shape the dress gives her. I LOVE the fact the hem is shorter in the front showing off those great shoes. A throwback to the glamour of the 1950’s. What a great look! This is the best Dunst has ever looked!

My second-best dressed of the evening. Viola. OMG. She looks so freakin’ beautiful in this bright shade of red. And the dress is simple and the cold shoulder is so perfect for her. She is so beautiful that I can’t stand it!

Taraji P. Henson must have read my Grammy blog post. She looked awful that night but she did a complete turnaround. She’s my Number 3 Best Dressed. OMG! I LOVE this dress. The shape of the dress, the neckline, the slit, the velvet–it works so well. And the shoes! And the hair. Thank you Taraji for listening to me. You can fire your old stylist and hire me. OK?

What an incredible transformation from Grammy night–huh?

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Hailee Steinfeld. Another Best Dressed. I love watching her on the red carpet because she always gets it right. This dress is so fresh and adorable and youthful. It is perfect for a younger woman and she just looks like a princess in it. She’s one to watch!

OK. She isn’t an actress but Robin Roberts looked better than 95 percent of the actresses at the Oscars. She looks like a pretty gold statue. And guess what? Robin did gold RIGHT! She has a great skin tone for a gold dress. Very Cleopatra.

Shirley Maclaine is still looking good. She’s in her 80’s. She looked very classy…Charlize Theron is another issue….

I swear Charlize Theron wants to underplay her natural beauty. She, one of the most beautiful women on earth, looked terrible in this dress. It looks like an old lady formal dress. It’s frumpy. And the hair. WTF? Was she trying to channel her inner Ethel Mertz..

Hey. I’m a HUGE fan of Ethel Mertz. But really, I do think Theron was trying to emulate the hairdo!

Can someone please explain to me why Ruth Negra and Ginnifer Goodwin look more like Sister Wives than elegant women? Are they both in a movie about Amish rebels? Red is a great color for both women but both of these dresses are not stylish and too fussy. Some stylists should be shown to the door…

Octavia Spencer is not a frail woman. She should not be wearing a dress that cuts her body in two. First of all, this dress is too high-waisted and cuts her right under the bust. Like Adele, Spencer needs a princess style that is slightly fitted at the waist but doesn’t cut. She needs simple lines. She would look great in a three-quarter sleeved dress with a similar neckline but a more simple cut. She would also look better with a longer bob. Let me dress you Octavia. Let ME dress you!

She may be the world’s greatest actress but she’s a lousy dresser! Put some sexy Sophie into your event dressing please! This dress is just ill-fitting and the bottom has too much material. The color is great though. An updo would have been much better!

Is it a tassel?

NO! It’s Emma Stone and her pretend lisp! OMG. This dress is hideous. The color is a bit like what came out of my body near the end of my stomach bug. This young woman does NOT have the coloring for a dress this color. The sweetheart neckline is unattractive on her. She needs a higher neck. The dress is too fussy. This is wrong on so many levels.

Is it my grandmother’s doily?

No! It’s Nicole Kidman and her overly-Botoxed face! Again. We have a pale woman and a dress that washes her out. The lipstick isn’t making you look any better Nicole. I was watching Robin Roberts interview and your lipstick was so smeared you looked like Bette Davis as Baby Jane! The sad thing is, this dress is beautiful. In a darker color like an emerald green and she would have rocked it….

There are no words… this dress is so horrible that I can’t even..

But I can with this monstrosity! I call this color “The Bile That I Threw Up When My Stomach Bug was in the Upper Part of My Body”. Do these women even so much as glance in a mirror? This dress is wearing Leslie Mann. She is NOT wearing it! And it looks like a teenaged prom dress. It’s horrific!

Another example of beautiful woman in ugly dress! Janelle Monae is so beautiful–and even more so now that she isn’t sporting that pompadour hairdo! Is she trying to look like Marie Antoinette? Perhaps she’s hiding cake under the bottom of the dress. There’s just too much going on here. If the bottom of the dress was slim and sheer with a nude underlay, it would have been beautiful. She’s a walking “Hidden Figure” under this thing!

Hey girl, is it Justin Bieber?

No!! It’s Scarlett Johansson as Justin Bieber in a gown! Good Lord. What did that Frenchman DO to her? Scarlett. Please. For the sake of us all, please go back to the sexy vamp Scarlett!! This look is not becoming on you. At all.

The extremism in Hollywood is so disturbing to me. Either titties are hanging out like two pink-tipped buoys floating in the sea or these women are covered up like Amish pastor’s wives. I’ve seen NUNS show more skin! Is the apron so you can cook with Wolfgang Puck at the after party? This dress is like the mistake Trump’s parents made when he was conceived! And the hair. Did Dakota Johnson start co-washing instead of using shampoo? I’m scared of this look. Seriously. This dress is 50 Shades of Shit!

What is it with pale ladies and dresses that wash them out. GET A FAKE TAN IF YOU WANT TO WEAR A DRESS LIKE THIS!!! I think my grandmother wore a similar dress to my Baptism some 60 years ago. And the shoes. I don’t even see painted toes! Felicity Jones has had more worse looks than good ones. She needs to either fire a stylist or hire one!

Last of all we have Guiliana Rancic. This dress was the topic of conversation last night. Bonaparte loved it on her and thought she looked beautiful. I was talking to Oona on the phone and she couldn’t stand the dress. I’m on the fence. There’s a lot of fabric but I love the color on her. And she looks great in the one-shoulder Grecian look gown. Her hair and makeup are perfect. I’m really in the middle.

That’s it! Fashions were mostly on the bland side. The one WOW dress was Dunst’s. I need to think of what I’ll wear on the red carpet when I start interviewing these people who are more self-centered than me!

I almost forgot. Kristin, Brad and Kriss were the red carpet crew on E. At least Kristin’s boobs were in their places. Brad’s tux was bland. And at least Kriss got rid of her butch “do”. She must have read my posts about her red carpet looks. That dress of hers brings attention to those hips of hers. She needs a stylist–and not her daughters as stylists either. I’ll dress ya Kriss!!!

Here’s a great one from Danny Kaye “The King’s New Clothes”! Very appropriate!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Fashion, Humor, Oscar Fashion 2017 | 23 Comments

Putting the Laughter On Hold

Posted on February 22, 2017 by Catherine

I started writing a post that I thought was pretty funny. All the elements of humor were there but somehow, I just didn’t feel right. I didn’t feel like being funny.

One of my closest, dearest and best friends passed away suddenly. She was just 65 years old. And she was a young and vibrant and beautiful and caring woman.

Losing a friend feels like this.

There’s a lot going on in my head as I write this. We’re not immortal. We’re not going to be on this earth forever, as much as some of us would love to be–we aren’t.

I’m also a bit angry because why is it that a truly good and kind person dies suddenly and we have a filthy example of humanity leading our country. Sorry folks–this has nothing to do with politics and everything to do with good people vs. evil ones.

Life just isn’t fair at times..

Anyway, I don’t want to be angry. I don’t want to be sad. And I’m really sad today. I’ll be packing my bag because tomorrow I’ll be heading out of town for the funeral.

If you have a friend or two that you haven’t been in touch with for a while, might I suggest to pick up the phone and give them a call. Friendship is a gift that we take for graI wonted sometimes. We always figure we’ll see that person again and don’t give it a second thought.

Margaret and I had kept making plans over the past year and they never came to fruition. I will be seeing her but not under the circumstances that I should be seeing her.

So I’ll be hanging in there and will be posting next week. I just want to let you know that each and every one of you who read my blog is a friend–and you are special to me. Take care of yourself. Be kind. Be good.

And take your work and your life seriously–but don’t take yourselves too seriously!

See you next week!

Posted in Uncategorized | 40 Comments

Let’s Talk About Style. Finding Yours!

Posted on February 19, 2017 by Catherine

Style (as a noun)

/stīl/

A Manner of doing something
a distinctive appearance, typically determined by the principles according to which something is designed.

And the way I look at it is this: take fashion. Fashion is what you wear. Style is how you wear it.

Style is this “thing”. It isn’t really tangible, but when someone who has a lot of it walks by you, then style becomes tangible.

Model Carmen Dell’orefice is 83 years old. 83!!! She drips of style! Look at her. And the fact she makes this shit-brown dress look fabulous is a testament to her style! Her trademark big hair. Her bone structure. Her ability to be chic better than anyone else…all add up to a remarkable sense of style!

We all have a certain style. Whether in our clothing or our home or our life—there’s some style in there. It is who we are and what is a part of our being.

People may influence our style. We may lean toward a style that makes us comfortable. Travel can affect our sense of style. Life events can affect our sense of style.

I’ll attest to the fact that travel has definitely had an affect on the style of my home…

You can notice the influence in my lack of color–just like Paris rooftops!

I keep it simple and uncomplicated

And color often comes in splashes…

The most color is in my little sunroom. My most comfy area of the house!

The weird thing about this plate is that I had it BEFORE I met MY Bonaparte! Napoleon must be watching out for me!

And you know what? Even those who don’t think they are very stylish—well, they are! You just need to dig a bit into yourself and figure out what you like and don’t like. That’s it! It’s simple!

My personal style is pretty basic—and I don’t mean that in a boring way. At all. I’m not big on extravagance and formality. It just isn’t me. That doesn’t mean I don’t like a formal or extravagant style—I do. Formality and extravagance just does not fit into my lifestyle. And that’s ok—because it fits perfectly into the lifestyle of many others. In fact, it fits so well into one of my favorite bloggers style. The Vintage Contessa. (Click on the link to her blog. You HAVE to read about her–she’s a riot!!!) She literally is a study in all things perfectly elegant but in such a non-intimidating way. I love her!!

My favorite Contessa! She’s so elegant. She’s so fabulous. She’s so elegant in the most unintimidating way. I hope she isn’t angry at me for taking the liberty to post a pics of her!!

That’s what makes us different. We all need to celebrate the styles of other. It makes life more interesting and fun.

Style doesn’t come easy for many of us either. It really took me years to hone in on the style that I’m most comfortable with and what works best for me.

Yes. This would be me. And it has taken me a lifetime to finally find my true style!

I think when you are younger you have more of a capacity to follow trends but as you age you really do become more in tune with what works with you and what doesn’t. It’s a learning process!

I’ve always loved the style of Stevie Nicks. Her gypsy/fairy/boho look has been her trademark for many years. It works for her and she absolutely owns that look. And as much as I love it on her, I could never carry it off. Why? Because I would never be comfortable wearing those clothes. I wouldn’t feel quite right—that look doesn’t fit my personality.

I would not even make a small attempt to wear the huge platforms that Nicks is known for. It would be a great danger for me. But for her–it’s her style!

I would look like a freaking clown if I wore this. Stevie Nicks looks like an ethereal princess–and THAT is because she OWNS this style!

But it isn’t to say that I’ve not been influenced by it! When I wear a maxi dress, I feel that a bit of Stevie is with me. It’s a touch of boho that I can be at ease with.

The closest to a Boho or Stevie Nicks look that I will ever be comfy with. (My post on Maxi-dressing)

Let’s take a look at the women who do have an influence on how I like to dress.

Lauren Hutton. THE perfect example of casual. I love her look. I love her casual approach to dressing. Comfort done in a classic and uncomplicated way. I also love her because she’s got a lazy eye!

I love me my Pixie Pants too Lauren. She how simple but classic this is?

The quote. The quote ladies. She’s sooooooooo correct!

She’s 73 now..but damn, she looks no different now than five years ago. Advertisers need to see that THIS is a large demographic and we want to see more like HER in truth in advertising for beauty products!

Diane Keaton. She’s been a big influence on me since the days of Annie Hall. I adore her tomgirl feminine/masculine approach to clothing. I had the pleasure of being at a film premiere back in the late 1970’s when I lived in NYC–she was there and I saw her up close and personal. Her outfit was literally head to toe black and there was a ton of fabric–but she turned an outfit that would have been a bit — well, grandma-ish and frumpy into a unique ensemble. On her, it worked. And it worked because of her incredible personal style. And older women have a great sense of self!!

I remember this photo that Annie Leibovitz took of Keaton for Vanity Fair magazine. There’s a lot of clothing here and she’s covered up and it looks great on her!

Who has glasses like this? Who? Who? Oh don’t we know!! And I love my glasses! Diane’s influenced me without me even realizing it!

The only difference between me and Keaton is–I would never wear those shoes. I’ll wear pointy toed kitten heels. But his outfit. THIS is an outfit that I would wear if and when any of my children get married. YES!!! This would be my mother-of-the-bride-or-groom ensemble! It is simple and chic and would allow me for hours of dancing and running back and forth to and from the bar to refill my beverages!

And yeah. I am that woman who would wear a very fitted tuxedo to a formal affair. I would have the pants cut to ankle length so that my heels would be showcased. Her style if freakin’ impeccable! That girly menswear look is fantastic!

Guess who has pants like these? Yours truly!!!

Catherine Deneuve. I love her French Ice Princess look. The simple lines of dresses she’s worn in film and real live are another influence on what I look for in dresses!

Hair clipped back off her face. Hoop earrings. A thin chain around her neck. A Simple watch. White sleeveless tee. You cannot get more basic and Deneuve brings this to an elegant level. A perfect summer look!

My heart skipped a beat when I saw this photo. The coat. The only accessory is the gold buttons. The simple flats. And this is why I love Catherine Deneuve’s style!!

Bardot. You would think in all the years I’ve been traipsing around St. Tropez I would have been lucky enough to run into my style influencer Bardot. I haven’t. I love her style because its good girl gone slightly slutty. Who doesn’t love a look like that. Bardot brings out our inner bad girl–but in a ballet flat kind of way!

The look on the right–I live in that look during many casual moments of my life. Skinny pants or jeans. Repetto ballet flats. A slightly oversized but fitted sweater. Thank you Ms. Bardot for influencing me! I love the way her hair looks with that big-ass headband. I can never get that look just right on me. Even with fake hair I always manage to mess it up!

Those tight-cropped ankle pants! The ballet flats. The fitted shell. OMG. I LOVE this look so much. And the hair! Oh if I only had my thick head of hair back I would tease it up to God to have it look like that!!!

The Breton shirt. I must have at least five of these but look how Miss Brigitte gives this shirt her own style with the rolled up sleeves.

She’s not even wearing as much as earrings! When you have style like Bardot–you really don’t need anything else! This simple dress is so streamlined and fits so well. A true classic. A great example of classic and French style!

Jackie Kennedy. In my opinion, the greatest example of classic American Style. Pragmatic and uncomplicated. A simple shift. White jeans and a dark shirt. The head scarf. The oversized sun glasses. She was beautiful and the camera didn’t do her justice. I had seen her a few times on the street when I lived in Manhattan. She was tinier than photographed and she looked very sweet and delicate. Her style influenced many–me included!

This photo was taken in the early 1960’s. The outfit would be completely fine worn today. THAT is what makes a classic!

The hair and glasses. I’m so in love. The black turtleneck and tan coat. OMG. No wonder I love this color combo so much…

Her relaxed style makes all her looks look like “Oh THIS?” “I just threw it on”! And she probably did–women with great style don’t have to spend hours over what to wear. They are aware of what looks great on them and they stick to it!

Again. No accessories. She is her own accessory!

Natalie Portman. Hey. She may be on the younger side, but this girl has a ton of style. I think she is the best-dressed actor in LaLaLand. Stylists should study her because Portman’s taste is perfect–and as she ages, she will only get better–as if she needs improvement!

If only I could wear a red lip! But I CAN wear everything else in this look. I adore everything about his look. The shoes, the rolled up jeans, the blazer, the bag that is so out of my price league I can vomit. This is a great look for women of all ages! And it can be duped at a discounted price!

This dress. It’s the perfect length. And I’m not crazy about lace nor pink but, boy, this dress is just stunning. Her style is what makes it all work!

Portman’s trench look. Even on errand day she still manages to bring great style to a basic look!

A simple dress, classic shoes and her lone accessory is a pair of earrings. Simple done right!

All of these women influence me when it comes to dressing. But remember! Find your personal style. Be influenced but be your own icon! Don’t allow fashion to dictate what your style should be. Nuh unh! Find you style. Own your style. Wear it well. And proud. And yeah, flaunt your style. It’s ok to do so.

It’s been a tough week for me. I’ve been quite ill with this stomach bug but when I did make it back to work, I kept true to my personal style. I’m not being narcissistic when I say this but I am my own style icon. All that means is that I have my own style that has been influenced by other people and elements.

Plaid blazer–my love for plaid can date back to wearing plaid uniforms to school for 8 years. The Repetto ballet flats and Longchamp bag are influenced by Bardot and trips to France. The Tomgirl look influenced by Diane Keaton!

Oh look! I’m wearing the same plaid from the pants that Diane Keaton was wearing in the photo at the top of my post!

I wore this the first day back at work. You can see from my face that I am still lookin’ pretty bad. A week later and I’m finally beginning to feel normal again!

My favorite look of the week. Yesterday’s errand look. Cropped ankle jeans. Loafers. Plaid shirt. Schoolboy blazer. This personifies my personal casual weekend style. It’s what I’m most comfortable in and I know it looks good!

I watched a great documentary yesterday afternoon on HBO. “About Face: Supermodels Then and Now”. Talk about style, this was an intense study of style and I recommend this as required watching for every woman over 50! It was insightful and incredibly truthful. And the interviews with Isabella Rossellini made me so angry at Lancôme for dropping her. Isabella is one smart woman who speaks the truth!

Models of the past–and they are filled with stories of wisdom! Carmen Dell’orefice, quite possibly the most chic and stylish woman of all time. Jerry Hall, she seems like one of the most fun people ever and Pat Cleveland–her story touched me to the point of getting misty-eyed. Older women need MORE recognition! All are highlighted in the HBO documentary!

Isabella Rossellini. Man, what I wouldn’t give to interview her! She is the wisest woman in the industry. I wish she had her own cosmetics line! Shame on Lancome for getting rid of her!

My style is who I am. It is a reflection of lifetime events, influences, travels and people who have affected me. What about you? What’s your style? Do you agree?

Here’s a nice tribute by John Cale and Lou Reed about Warhol’s style—his may not have been the preferred style of many, but the song is absolutely moving and beautiful. “Style it Takes”.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Beauty, Fashion, Humor, Style | 27 Comments

Atypical60 Takes a Look at Grammy Fashions!

Posted on February 14, 2017 by Catherine

I know. I’m late to the party. But the sad truth is, I’ve been sick since Sunday evening with the worst stomach bug of all time. Ugh. I only got to watch some of the Grammy’s because I was in the bathroom most of the night.

The only thing getting cuddled in Chateau Bonaparte was my stomach and the ceramic throne in the bathroom!

Honestly, it felt so good to kneel on the tiled floor and hug the cold ceramic of my toilet bowl when I wasn’t sitting on it. That outta give you an idea of how I spent the past couple of days!

Anyway, I just got back from the doctor. Bonaparte literally forced me to go. I think it was because he was tired of hearing me moan “Ohhhhhh. My stomach. I hope this isn’t serious!”

I mean that literally and figuratively!

Honest to God. The thought of eating is making me more ill than I am, but the good doctor gave me a prescription to ward off the nausea so that I could keep something in my gut. And the only food item I want right now is Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup. It’s been my “sick” comfort food since I was a child.

I’m eating this as I write..

I’m getting off track here.

This is about Grammy. And not my Grammy.

My real-life Grammy. In her wedding dress. Beyonce could have worn my grandmother’s wedding headpiece and would have looked much better!

It’s about the Grammy Awards, which, in my opinion, could very well be the reason I was so sick!

Ugh. I believe that watching E!’s “On the Red Carpet” made me ill from the get go. Kriss Jenner and that dumb butch hairdo of hers! And that dress–it is absolutely awful! Why does Ryan Seacrest insist on having this doyenne of bad taste hosting a red carpet event? Brad Goreski–I’m appalled that you would wear such a hideous jacket. And Kristin Cavallari–one false move and your girls are going to escape big time!

OK—so the music industry has a bit more creativity than, say the film or TV industries. And I guess that’s why people who attend feel as though they have to dress a bit more eccentric or differently.

I get that. I really do. But there is a fine line between dressing differently or more creatively and coming off as looking downright silly. It’s about fit. It’s about what looks good or even great on you.

So, let’s just take a look at some of the fashions I happened to see when I wasn’t in the bathroom!

I had just exited the bathroom and Bonaparte was cleaning my glasses when Beyonce was doing her number. I swear from far away I thought I was watching a Novena to the Blessed Mother. I knelt down before the TV and started chanting “Oh Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee”. Then Bonaparte gave me my glasses and I realized Queen Bee just wanted to look like the old-school Christmas tree toppers we had when we were kids!
Who wore it best? Why the cute little pug on the right! And speaking of JLo…

…she needs to come up with a new signature pose. I’m sick and tired of that dopey “come hither” look her face makes in every single pose. And you may want to change it up from the Angelina Jolie pose. I swear JLo will be a wrinkly 80 year old with lips that sag down to her chest and she’ll still pose with that dopey face!

Shoes notwithstanding, Heidi Klum gets my vote for best dressed. Had two inches been added to the hem, and had she worn silver pointy-toed stilettos with toe cleavage, this would be my favorite red carpet look of all time! I love the simple cut of the dress and I LOVE the length of the sleeves.Her earrings and makeup! She rocked it!

Laverne Cox almost got it right! The dress is a weird length. It should have been shorter. Just at the knees. She has great legs! And the cut-out sides give the dress a very rocker type vibe while still maintaining fashionable taste! Her eye makeup is great too! I love Laverne!

I was born in 1955. In the early to mid-1960’s we practically lived on these Funny Face drinks. That’s probably one of the reasons I lost most of my hair. Anyway, all I could think of when I saw Taraji P. Henson in that getup was Goofy Grape! Henson is cute as a button and she could have gone with something a little edgy without looking ridiculous. The dress doesn’t even fit! The fabric looks sloppy. When will these celebrities ever learn?

Rihanna. RiRi. You are one of the most beautiful women in the world. You can wear just about anything. So then, can you explain just why you put on something that wore YOU? I’ll admit, the black and orange put me in a very sentimental mood for those wax whistles that we used to get at Halloweeen time! That skirt looks like the umbrella you sang about!

I actually loved the simple and streamlined cut of the suit that Chance the Rapper wore. But–did your mother ever tell you it was not proper to wear a hat indoors? Well, I’m telling you now. Get rid of the hat when you are inside a building!!!

I have no idea who this young woman is. But she has my vote as one of the Grammy Best Dressed! Her gown is fresh and youthful and the color is gorgeous on her. In fact, if she was cross-eyed, she would remind me of a young ME! I can’t get enough of this dress! The dropped waist is so flattering! And she’s a bit modest on top without looking fundie! Most of the celebrities at the Grammy’s could take a lesson from her! Absolutely perfect!

Why did Beyonce and Jay Z take their daughter to the Grammy Awards! I KNOW! I KNOW! They didn’t want Solange to be their plus-one at the after parties so by bringing Blue Ivy, they had a great excuse for Solange to babysit! Poor Blue Ivy! Mommy and Daddy should have dressed you in a blue suit..that pink looks like Pepto Bismol! Props to Mr. Carter for the way he looks so lovingly at his daughter! It’s so sweet!

…speaking of Solange…she looked like….

The Golden Ticket from Willie Wonka!

Carrie Underwood needs a new stylist. NOW! It was bad enough she looked like chewed up bubble gum at the Golden Globes, but now she has a dress that not only looks like a newly used tampon, it is an old lady bar mitzvah dress. I don’t even think Joan Rivers would have worn it…

This is red done right! Faith Hill nailed another “Best Dressed”. It is a beautiful shade of red. The lines are simple and even with the little cut out, it was discreet. And the shoes! Oh God–I can’t even! I WANT those shoes! Well done Ms. Hill!

She may be “zuh gret-ess singuhr” but Ms. Dion is far from the greatest dresser. She’s only 48. She’s young. She looks older than me–and I’m old! She needs to wear her hair down and layered to soften her angular structure. The dress. It’s too low-cut for a flat-chested woman. What is WITH these low cut dresses anyway? And while I’m at it–what’s with the ankle strap shoes. Faith Hill is the only one to rock those ankle straps..Celine Dion looks more like a…

…glittery St. Patrick’s Day hat! Save that shade o’ green for March 17th!

I love Adele. And this pea-soup green frock did nothing to enhance her beautiful curves. That waistband makes her titties look supersized and saggy. She needs a princess cut. Slightly fitted. She needs boning in the chest area to hold those ta-ta’s up. The dress is too long–it looks sloppy. Adele was meant for black dresses. She needs a simple dress because that voice of her’s is what draws attention! I”m glad she swept the Grammys!

Chrissy Teigen. No. This isn’t working. SHE is someone who needs to show a bit more skin! But not the way this dress shows it. She looks like an extra from a vampire movie! I’m kind of surprised because she usually gets it right. Her makeup looks horrible too. What happened Chrissy? You better look more like your fashionable self at the Oscars!

I’m guessing Cee Lo was channeling his inner Pussy Galore from Goldfinger. And this one in the middle. Wearing 45’s slogan? WTF? THAT was what really made me sick. Who is this Girl Crush on the far right? That dress! How the hell did she sit down or go to the bathroom? Well, I can honestly say she has more balls than Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan!

What’s with the unbottoned shirt? What’s with the ill-fitting pj bottoms? What’s with the awful sleeves? I think this one was trying to channel her inner…

…..Sick Pense look! Same color of blue. Same lousy fit!

I need to say something about this Tom Ford dress that Katy Perry wore. I KNOW this dress did not get a lot of love. However, if you want to be edgy and different without looking clownish, THIS is the way to do it. Naturally, I have a bit of commentary on this dress. *Sigh* sometimes I wish gay designers would be more in touch with their feminine sides. Why? I’ll show you…

Katy Perry has the best set of Ta-ta’s on earth. In fact, if I ever hit it big in the lottery, I’m taking a photo of her in a low-cut dress to a plastic surgeon. I’m going to tell him that I want HER ta-tas! They are spectacular and they are real! Anyway, back to the dress. I would give her a ballet scooped neckline so that her cleavage would be a focal point. Then I would cut the sleeves to a long short sleeve. Tom–are you listening? Thank you! Might I also add, Katy Perry ALWAYS has THE best made-up face! Her makeup is never less than perfect!

This is NOT good cleavage. At all. Lady Gaga looks like she wore the wrong sized bra and reached up to a top shelf to grab something. Girls–hasn’t that happened to you? You know. You reach for something and your bra rides up in the front? Even for Lady Gaga who can basically get away with anything outrageous, the bottom tit look is just ugly!

Katy Perry sure knows how to show bosom! They are the envy of us all! Even though this suit DID remind me of piano keys!

That’s about it. I ended up falling asleep because I was so violently ill. I couldn’t even make it out of bed yesterday to write this so I know I’m getting much better!

Did you watch the Grammy Awards? Did you have a favorite look? Did you have a look that you thought was just awful. Tell me!!

And…. HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!!

One of my favorite songs about love. John Mayer with Katy Perry “Who You Love”. (I hope they get back together!!!)

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged #Humor, Fashion, Grammy Awards | 36 Comments

Atypical 60

I’m Clothesed Minded. So, Don’t Tell Me What to Wear And Other Rants!

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