Atypical 60

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. TODAY I AM 60!

Posted on April 16, 2015 by Catherine

Yup! That’s what I woke up singing this morning. Bonaparte woke me up with coffee and two nice gifts—a J. Crew gift card (he knows my favorite store!)…and, this completely surprised me—a gift certificate to my favorite hair salon—Bleu Mousse! I received flowers from the kids too. A nice way to welcome the new decade of the 60’s!

The card said “Happy 30th Birthday. I’ve ~~trained~~ raised my kids well!

It’s weird because I still feel young! OK. Maybe not as young as a child, but I don’t feel any different than I did in my 30’s or 40’s. I’m a bit more beefy—and saggier in places that used to be perkier, but overall, I don’t feel different!

I may not feel as young as I was in this pic from Christmas 1956, but….

Maybe I’m wiser. But trust me, I’m certainly not much wiser than when I was younger!

I still feel the same as when I was 29 (although the early ’80’s hair is clearly a “don’t” for me…

A few hours after my 12-minute labor and delivery with Oona. YUP! 12 minutes! My dad managed to always be nearby when I had the kids. I DID go into the hospital with straight hair–but those minutes of intense labor caused sweaty frizz! One of my happiest days-I had my daughter!

I feel the same as I did in the early ’90’s! I only WISH those metal clips with the huge-ass bows were still in style. I loved this look!

1986 after Roman’s birth. Milk-filled titties! I LOVED breastfeeding! I also loved my hair in that pic!

At 32 years old. Holy shit..that’s almost 30 years ago–almost half a lifetime ago! WHERE does the time fly to? Roman’s first birthday. I’m really diggin’ my 80’s hair and my eye glasses!

Early 1990’s at Tice’s farms in NJ. I would absolutely still wear that outfit today! I miss the J. Crew roll neck sweaters!

With my in-laws and Jake at Roman’s Kindergarten graduation from St. Ignatius Loyola School, NYC. 1991. Like the puffy headband and the wide shoulders?

In the kitchen, NYC. 1993?

Still in the kitchen. Pennington, NJ 1997. The bobbed “mom” hair do. I miss my thick hair!

I have to be honest. Birthdays aren’t all that important to me. I got a bit weirded out thinking about this one. Face it. Twenty years ago when I hit 40, I could say with ease “Hey. In forty more years I’ll be 80”..and I could picture me all wrinkled with a walker and stilettos.

1995. Just turned 40 and never gave age a second thought!

At 60, it’s hard for me to say “Hey, in 60 years I’ll be 120!” That thought just brings a pile of ashes! The world just won’t be a better place without me! What can I say?

Twenty years later. The face has aged but the maturity level stays the same as many years ago!

Thinking of past birthdays, I can only remember a couple that stand out in my mind. One is when we lived in Ozone Park. It was my fifth birthday and I got two toys that I wanted—one was a stick that you held and a long streamer was attached. The other was a tray with a plastic “mesh” screen and you attached little plastic characters onto the screen while reading a story. I distinctly remember “the Three Little Pigs”. These toys were so obscure I couldn’t even find images on the internet!

My best birthday gift was my brother Pete. I’ll never forget that day. It was my 13^th birthday. My mother had gone into labor early in the morning and was very nervous. She had previously lost two babies, so we were all a bit anxious.

At around 11 in the morning, my dad called from the hospital. I swear he was crying. He told me we had a brother. It was so amazing. Having a baby brother wasn’t only cool, but it was the greatest birthday gift off all time. Finally. A TWIN!! OK—so it was 13 years later, but who cares!!!! Anyway, my dad, being the super-Catholic that he was, said to me. “Katie (Yes. That is what he called me—the only one to do so). Go into my top drawer, take out money, go to the bakery and get the nuns a bunch of baked goods. I’ll meet you at home.” He met me, and we drove to the local beer distributor. He bought a couple of cases of beer to compliment the baked goods and off we drove to the convent at St. Patrick’s to drop off beer and baked goods.

Beer and baked goods. What more could praying nuns want?

My father asked the nuns to pray that my mom had a healthy baby (boy?) and the prayers were answered. Payment came in the form of both unleavened dough and the blood of the Irish Christ!

Pete is a great man. He’s a great brother, a favored uncle and a super fantastic husband and dad! He’s a lot like our own dad! Happy Birthday Baby Brother!

Pete with Roman and Oona at Tice’s. 1992. Jake must’ve been off playing ball with his friends! Best uncle on earth!

Now Pete is a great dad and husband. Isn’t my niece, Jasmine, adorable? Pete. Trade the Notre Dame hat in for UT’s Beavo. Please. Remember–we are a Longhorn family!

So today, on my 60^th, I’m taking it easy. Bonaparte doesn’t want me cooking on my birthday—I really don’t mind, but he insists. I don’t want to go out because I’ll be tempted by empty points. I think maybe we’ll order from a local Thai restaurant or there’s always sushi!

What do I want now that I’m official in my Sixties? Just this:

I want world peace. But I don’t want wars or anyone losing their lives to achieve it. I would like to achieve world peace in the form of a cook-off. Rather than fight with knives and guns and bombs, we should use recipes and ingredients as our ammunition. The judges would be Ludo Lefebvre, that cute little Gallic spitfire of a chef, Gabriele Corcos, Debi Mazur’s ever-so-cool-and-Italian chef of a hubs, and my dessert girl crush, Christina Tosi. If any three people can bring peace on earth—it’s these three. Um. Once they calm down the Frenchman it’ll be peace on earth!

The contrarian Frenchman, along with the always-in-a-good-mood Italian, and..

The optimistic American would be the greatest people to bring about world peace–or, as they are chefs–world “peas”!

I want good health. (Every hypochondriac’s dream.)

I want happiness for my kids throughout their lives. Jake, Roman, and Oona are my jewels. I have to pinch myself at times for being so proud of them and for their successes. I want their success to continue but with that, I want happiness!

I want happiness for my babies. And yes, they will ALWAYS be my babies!

I want people to go out and vote. Yeah. That’s right. VOTE! Remember—you have no valid complaint about the lunatics that are running congress unless you vote. I can complain from here to kingdom come because I go to the polls.

Do it or keep quiet!

I also want bi-partisanship between our political parties. Let’s bring “old-school” politics back—and for the love of god, keep religion OUT of politics. Remember the old school saying: Religion and Politics don’t match. You have your religion and I have mine. Give Jesus a break—he works hard enough trying to figure out who’s going to heaven and who he’ll turn away. He had enough of your political religious shit! He told me so in a vision. OK?

I want a “label-less” society. Just as I abhor labels on clothing and purses (Um. Michael Kors—do you hear me?), I despise people being labeled even more. I look forward to a day when same-sex marriages are NOT called “gay” marriages. They will just be “marriages”. I don’t want to hear. “She’s a lesbian”. I just want to hear “She’s a woman” or “She’s a person”. Same with the menfolk. Stop saying “He’s gay, homosexual…” Just say “He’s a guy”. He’s just a person”. Don’t label the person who was born in the wrong body either. Transsexuals are just normal people born into the wrong body. End of story. Stop labeling. Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust. We are all the same!

We are all the same!

I want to win the lottery so that Bonaparte and I can move to a brownstone in Brooklyn. Hopefully, next door to Debi Mazur and Gabriele Corcos so that we can become great neighbors. Debi will get mad at me for stealing Robert, her best friend, but I’ll just laugh and say “Oh Debi. Stop it! Robert needs a French meal tonight”. Then Debi will get all “pretend” mad at me, but we’ll laugh and her family will join us for a great meal of Chicken Veronique, Cheese Soufflé and for dessert I’ll make a ton of macaron! Yes. Debi and Gabriele are my delusional neighbors! I have Debi Mazur Makeup Moments—where she will do my makeup and put my hair in that very same epic ponytail she wears so well! I even go around the house humming the theme song to the “Extra Virgin” show!

Not only have I crossed into delusional BFF areas, but I’ve added delusional neighborhood to my imaginative thoughts!

Oh–and my BNF (best neighbor forever), Debi will teach me the secret to her perfect ponytail AND makeup secrets!

Lastly, I want good lighting to follow me around wherever I may roam. I want life to give me a filter that surrounds my body and face so that my wrinkles will fade. I want my turkey neck to only be seen in lighting that erases those gobble gobble lines. Yes. My deep shallowness is always apparent!

Yeah- I took these photos earlier this morning. Lighting and position count!

See what I mean about good lighting? HI OH!

So that’s it! I’m going to enjoy a nice afternoon. Bonaparte has a cancellation and we’ll find something fun to do!

XOXOXOXOX!

Here’s a Birthday song for my twin Pete. And everyone else who is celebrating a birthday!

Paul Tripp from Birthday House!!!!!!

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Lashing Out at The Fakeness–And I LOVE It!!!

Posted on April 14, 2015 by Catherine

What a day! I’m at the end of my decade in the ’50’s! In 48 hours I’ll be entering a new decade and new (mis)adventures abound!

Weather-wise, well, three days with beautiful sunshine just had to end. I mean, this is the Northeast! We get rain and humidity and the sun never shines more than three or four days at a time! Today is damp, wet, yuck! Typical April weather! I think it’s funny though. For years, and I mean YEARS, I’ve been begging Bonaparte for a trip to the Brittany area of France.

He gives me the same answer: “Zuh whezahr eez rilly ‘orribllle ehn Breh-tan-eyuh. Eee rins ahl zuh teem”. (translation: The weather is really horrible in Brittany. It rains all the time.)

Is Bonaparte aware at all of the area in which we live? This makes no sense to me since the past few summers the weekends have been horrific and we haven’t been to the shore that much. I guess it’s a French thing!

By the way, my car is clean! For those of you who may not be aware of my sloppiness with my car read this: Its a CAR Monsieur Bonaparte. Its a CAR!

I did make a promise to Bonaparte that I will never, ever, EVER, mess my car up again. I’ve turned over a new leaf! (shhhhh. Let’s see how long my promise lasts. I don’t ever break a promise—but sometimes they just fade away…..)

Can you believe just how clean this is? I’m amazed!

Look! I found the rosary beads that Bonaparte hid on me!

Is Chippy bewildered? Or is he thinking of how long the timeframe will be till the mess reappears!

Well, today I just didn’t feel like applying mascara. Nor did I feel like using my lash extension kit. Instead, I decided to go through the many sets of fake lashes that I own and, since I’m a giver, I thought I would give a step-by-step of how a “non-expert” goes through the application process. My process is so wrong on so many levels, but seems to work for me so I thought I would share.

Part of my lash collection!

I love fake lashes. I used to wear them to work when I didn’t feel like putting on eye shadow or a ton of mascara. I love the length that fake lashes give. I love the way they flutter. I think they can make older and more mature eyes look younger (I can dream, can’t I?). In addition, fake lashes bring out my inner drag queen. Seriously. I love drag queens. THEY know more about the beautification of a woman than most of the experts so. Drag Queens are GRAND! I had the pleasure of not only meeting the great Divine many years ago whilst shopping for shoes on 34^th street in Manhattan, but she actually helped me in purchasing a pair. Divine was a really nice person both in and out of drag.

Both in and out of drag, Divine was just such a nice person. I was fortunate enough to have met her outside of her “persona” and had a great pair of shoes to prove it! Look how perfect her eyeliner is!

Look at how pretty and perfect Ru Paul is. I’m jealous!

I wish I could apply my make up as well as drag queens do. We women could learn a few things from these beauties!

My favorite is Miss Richfield 1981. We could pass for sisters!

Do you see the resemblance between Miss Richfield and me? I do. We could be sisters! In my ever increasingly delusional universe. Miss Richfield would meet me and we would become best, BEST, friends forever. We would laugh, and cry, and get angry at each other..and it would be like looking in a mirror every time we look at each other!

Anyway, here’s what I do to get those beautiful lashes that I love and that Bonaparte cannot stand. Yes. He hates my fake lashes. He likes me better with a touch of mascara. I say later to that! Read on sista–read on!

Today I’m going to wear Ardel Fashion Lashes Number 106 Black, Natural.

I think I paid something like $2.99 at Wal-Mart for these lashes.

My tweezers are ready for applying and I use toothpicks to apply the glue to the lashes.

Tweezers are great multi-taskers, plucking chin hairs, getting out splinters, and applying fake lashes–who knew–right? Just be careful with the tooth picks and don’t poke your eye out!

My eyes are really bad—sight wise. So I squeeze a bit of glue onto the base of my makeup mirror. I ALWAYS clean the base of the mirror first, with Windex. I don’t want to get pink-eye!

I clean the base of my mirror with Windex. OMG–I cannot believe it. Look at that hair. See? I lose my hair all over the place. I’m worse than a shedding dog. Woof.

I take a toothpick and dip the end into the glue, making sure I get enough glue.

Just a bit of glue into the base of my mirror makes things easier for my application process.

Then I run the edge of the glued toothpick onto the inside edge of the lash.

Jesus, Mary, and St. Joseph. Can you believe it? Another hair! Anyway, I take the lash in the tweezers like so, and….

Apply the glue along the inner edge of the lash with the toothpick. Sorry I wasn’t able to take a better picture. My apologies!

“They” (the experts) say to wait about a minute for the glue to get nice and sticky. Trust me, my process takes longer than a minute so by the time I apply the last, the glue is almost dried!

I raise my chin up, and look down toward the mirror to apply the lash.

Applying the lashes to my natural lash line. Sorry about the roots. It’ll be time to get my hair colored soon. Damn, I’m a mess!

Done!

I just have to wait for the glue to dry completely before applying eye liner.

I just wait for the glue to dry completely, then run a pencil liner close to the edge then finish with liner. Look—the liner looks kind of sloppy in close up. But from far away, you can’t tell.

Ohh..the liner is a bit..um..sloppy today, but from a distance….

It looks much better! See…

Looks decent..right? I took my glasses off for you to get a better look. I’m cross-eyed squared today. I swear I’m seeing triple instead of double!

So that’s how I like to fake it. They look decent. The other thing I like about fake eye lashes is that on a day like today–where I’m not going out and am in super-slob mode; no shaved legs, a swipe of deodorant to keep from stinking up the house, hair up and all ratty because I haven’t washed it in two weeks (tomorrow I’m going to get a wash and blow out-don’t judge), I still feel pretty because the lashes add a bit of “done” to me!

Come now—you know you have days like that!! Admit it!! Get some fake lashes and you’ll feel like a million bucks—albeit a smelly million bucks, you will still look fabulous!

Oh. And I’m very careful when I take the lashes off, I soak them in warm water that I’ve poured into a small container and let the glue dissipate. Then I gently dry the lashes with a paper towel and place back into the little package they came in. I can get a good 5 days out of one pair of lashes!

Now it is time for me to go and iron clothes. I’ll get into Zen mode and be relaxed for the remainder of the day. Iron on. Iron off!

XOXOXOXO!

Ahh fakeness! Sometimes it’s a good thing—and fakeness always reminds me of the Barbie Girl Song by Aqua!

Enjoy your day!

A Great Decked Out Weekend–But First, A Bit of Veni, Vidi, Venting!

Posted on April 13, 2015 by Catherine

Before I go on about my weekend, I have to vent a little bit. I know, at times I can be overdramatic and over reactionary but trust me, I’m getting all “I-wish-I-had-some-happy-pills“. Due to my unemployment situation, I applied for affordable healthcare. Otherwise known as “Obamacare”.

Trust me, they don’t make it easy to apply for this!

OK. Fine! The application process took hours because it was incredibly confusing. Eventually, a phone call was made, and, luckily, a very nice person on the other end walked me through the process.

My benefits go into effect May 1^st. I paid American Express for the first installment and immediately after, called my Dermatologist to reschedule my skin check appointment to May.

A few days ago I received a letter in the mail from the Healthcare Company I signed up with. They need proof of my paltry income from PA Unemployment. Again, a phone call was made. I spoke to another very nice person and happily stated that I have every single confirmation from my bi-weekly claims as well as my original confirmation of claims. (I’m really good that way. I’m an incredibly compliant person!). I was told, “No. You need to send us an original letter”.

I am still in the process of gathering documentation. Why can’t this be explained at the beginning of the application process?

Now I know why people have breakdowns. I’m not kidding either. This is no joke. I’m just about at that point! Sometimes I feel this will be part of my new wardrobe!

That being said, I called PA Unemployment. Thank God for the good people at the State unemployment offices. I was told that they would, in fact, send me a copy of the original letter that was sent to me. (I’m compliant, but I do lose things from time to time). I was also instructed to print out a statement with my history of benefits.

Done. Now I’m just waiting for the letter and I can send everything off to the healthcare company I signed up with.

Ya know, Obama care, theoretically, is fantastic. However, the process of application is a bitch. Seriously. What do people who don’t have a computer do? I’m floored. The process should be much simpler.

Barry. I voted for you. Twice. Can’t you make some things easier for us?

My mind starts doing weird things when I get all stressed. Then I think of Bethenny Frankel, crying and whining because she is the (in her words) “richest homeless person in Manhattan”. Screw you Bethenny, you entitled pig.

Hey Bethenny. Ya want something to cry about? I’ll give ya something! Quit yer bellachin!

Screw you Andy Cohen for your twisted and fucked-up vision of “reality”. You want reality—try living on unemployment for 6 months and realizing you have no chance in hell of being hired at any time due to your age. Try wondering if and when you will ever be treated with the respect that older people should be treated with. I hope you go to bed at night thinking about how bad ageism is! I hope you realize how unrealistic your franchise of “reality” is!

My vent is over. On to better and more fun stuff—like my weekend!

FINALLY! It was a bright and sunny weekend here in the Philly suburbs!!! Oh boy, you have no idea how much I’ve been looking forward to a weekend like this. The winter was awful—and it still baffles me that there aren’t any buds on the trees. But that’ll come soon enough!

Saturday may have been windy, but I started to work on the beautification of our deck. We bought our home last year. Two weeks before leaving for France, so we didn’t have the time to “deck out the deck”. I took the old pots and got rid of the dead hyacinth plants.

It’s time to turn this “Before” into an “After”!

I kept the white lights from Christmas time on the deck. I thought it would be a nice touch when we are outside during the summer months!

Truth be told. Bonaparte does NOT like these lights. I do. Who will win the deck lighting challenge?

I “disrupted” Chippy from his zen moments of relaxation to accompany me to Lowe’s so we could get some pretty plants! Honestly, Chippy has the attitude of a teen-aged child! He was pissed that I told him to get off the bed. Check out his facial expression!

I’m sorry, but I thought you may like to take a ride in the car with me!

Feeling privileged to have Chippy accompany me, we drove off to Lowe’s!

So many plants…..

and flowers to chose from. What a great way to spend a Saturday morning!

To tell you the truth, I missed having geraniums last year. For years and years, I’ve had potted geraniums. Some years pink, some years white, but most times red! When I spotted some nice red ones I grabbed them. I love geraniums because they are so darn hearty! They can last until November if deadheaded and given water when dry. I need to go back to get more! Hosta is another plant I like for outdoor planting. They thrive in shade as well as sun so I picked up a couple of them.

Whenever I plant, whether it’s in the ground or in pots, I cannot stand wearing gloves. I like to feel the dirt—you know what I mean? I’m also pretty messy, so I prepped the table on the deck with a large plastic bag. Luckily Bonaparte was with clients so I was able to do all this without his stressful critiquing of what a mess I make!

My work area. I’ll still make a mess anyway!

Geraniums…

and….

Hosta

All make for a pretty deck!

I also picked up this little baby!

I ended up enjoying a bit of relaxation on the deck until it got too windy.

I also picked this up for the inside of the house. Another kitchen plant!

Dinner was my Vietnamese Lemongrass Chicken.

This spicy dish is one of our favorites!

Recipe in this link: Post for Lemongrass Chicken Recipe

Yes…and early Sunday morning. Around 2AM, I woke up with the first allergy attack I’ve had in years! My nose was running non-stop like a broken faucet. I think I may have gone through an entire box of Kleenex! I lay awake wondering….are their Weight Watchers points in snot? If so, I’m in deep, deep trouble! Disgusting but true. Hey, I think of strange things!

Do you like my OOTD for Sunday? Gap skinnies, yellow/orange Repettos (by the way, I love the color so much) and a cute little “cat” themed t-shirt I picked up at Loft. Very much the “dog” person that I am, this would have been great had it been dog-themed, but I liked the fit of the shirt so much that I couldn’t resist!

I love those shoes so much! They are super comfy too!

Sunday brought some even better weather. We took out little darlin’ for a nice long walk. He looks so sweet and obedient in this pic, but to tell you the truth, he’s a devil on a leash! Pull, drag, barking at runners and children and other dogs. Time for me to get my “Dog Whisperer” on and turn this leashed hellion into an angel so we can walk together in peace and harmony!

He looks like an angel on leash–but he’s a little devil!

We hung drapes in the downstairs guest bedroom. It’s amazing how a pair of window coverings will change a room. It’s also great that these curtains are room darkening. Look how much they darkened the room. I couldn’t even get a decent pic!

Sorry about the quality of the pic..and Chippy wrinkled the comforter!

My nose continued to run like Forest Gump so I ended up picking up some generic Clariton at Target.

Working like a charm!

Before I picked up any allergy meds, I had to ask the pharmacist if it would be safe to take this with an aperitif. I honestly felt like a lush asking this—but I don’t want to die as a result of mixing an OTC with Champagne and Crème de Cassis!

So with this…..

Cin-Cin! 2015!

I got to enjoy the first official outdoors Aperitif of 2015! Babysteps. It got too cold to eat our dinner outside, but it was great to actually have a drink al fresco!

Nice way to end the weekend—don’t you think? I’m off to run errands and check out my clean car. Bonaparte had it washed for me!

XOXOXOXOXO!

Speaking of Champagne—here’s Evelyn “Champagne” King! Remember this great oldie?

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Obamacare. Obamacare application process. Outdoor planting. Deck gardening. Andy Cohen | Leave a comment

Variety (Shows)–The Spice of Life! Come Back Ed Sullivan, And Bring Dino Back With You!

Posted on April 10, 2015 by Catherine

Happy Friday and I hope your weekend plans are great ones! I’m having a fantastic day this early in the morning. Why? you ask. Well, it’s because I fit into a pair of jeans that I thought I wouldn’t. They are size 8 and NOT stretchy—so I’m in a good mood. Yes. Last year I purchased these jeans at Loft for $14.99. I love them because of the ankle length. For some reason I feel this length looks better with heels than the regular length does. Naturally both regular and ankle look fantastic with ballet flats, but that’s just my opinion……..

Bonaparte will love this pic because I’m wearing clothing! I’m just happy these fit!

Maybe my 6-point dinner from last night helped. Four rice cake squares topped with a bit of garlicky mashed avocado and a cute little shrimp!

Actually, these would also make great little summertime appetizers!

Please let me start off by telling you that I won’t be applying another coat of the Jergen’s. As time went by, the self-tanner became darker. I almost didn’t take a picture to show you because Bonaparte was quite upset from my “leg” pictures of yesterday’s posting. His reaction?

Bonaparte: “Cassee. Leesen to me. Ou canno(t) show peeteurs on you bleg of ou in you undearwahr. Eez nit rit.” “Dohn do zhat”. “Pliz”.

Me: “I was wearing a bathing suit bottom. You know, the navy with the white dots that I got at Aerie last year?” “On sale”. “I even wrote that it was a bathing suit bottom—just in case any fundamentalists or prospective employers read my post!”

Bonaparte: “Oh merde.” ( and other words in French that I didn’t quite understand because he was very upset.

Me: “Hey. Peeps need to see what old lady legs look like. OK?”

But—because I am a giver, I have two pics of how the tanner worked. The photo of my feet gives a better view of the tanner—simply because I did such a lousy job of applying on my feet. You can see the pale against the tan.

Note to Bonaparte: I’m wearing rolled-up Old Navy PJ Bottoms. See..the legs got darker over night!

Here’s where you can really tell. It’s so awful–I’m great at the legs, but for the love of Mary, I just screw the feet application. At least you can see the difference!

So yeah, the tanning mousse works, but it isn’t “Instant Sun”, Jergens needs to revamp their wording.

It really does work–just not really “instantly”–but I’ll repurchase!

Back to more important issues…

So this morning while I was in bed, drinking coffee and being a lazy slob, entitled unemployed wench, princess, spoiled old-lady brat, being an informed citizen being a complete voyeur, by watching the news Duggar family and wondering just why these pretend Christians call daily household chores “jurisdictions”, I had an epiphany about reality TV.

I call them the “Duggashians”. Their bizarre world–where homeschooling means taking their dog to get washed and household chores are jurisdictions!

How come there are no “live” variety shows on TV anymore? Ed Sullivan WAS true reality TV; as were all those variety shows of the ’50’s, and ’60’s. You couldn’t get more “live” than Ed Sullivan. Come on. Don’t you know that Jim Morrison of the Doors got into a lot of trouble because Ed wanted the “girl we couldn’t get much higher” lyrics from “Light My Fire” changed to “girl, we couldn’t get much better”. Jim didn’t change the lyrics, and the Doors were banned from any future appearances on Ed Sullivan. THAT was controversy!

I get that Ed Sullivan was upset with Morrison, but look at that face! How could anyone stay angry at Jim Morrison? He was so good looking!!!

There was no hair pulling or physical altercations; there was no nastiness verbalized, no “talking heads” being interviewed and spewing out awful things about others.

It was just the simple action of being banned. End of story. Ed never had them on the show and The Doors remained incredibly successful!

I can remember Sunday evenings. 8:00 PM. Channel 2, CBS. The entire family rallied around the small-screened TV set to watch Ed Sullivan.

His show was epic!

We kids were fascinated by Topo Gigio and Senor Wences, the ventriloquist who made puppets out of his hands. Remember the dancing Russian bears, or the plate spinners?

Yes, there was a time when this was entertainment!

Where did Sullivan find these people? But the point is—they entertained us.

We looked forward to whenever this little cutie was on Ed Sullivan.

And Senor Wences had us all making faces on our hands!

Even as a kid, I looked forward to Alan King’s musings about his family, airplanes and everything else. His lone prop of a cigar was greatness—his delivery was incredible. I loved his humor so much.

One of the greatest stand-ups of all time!

Same with Stiller and Meara—is our younger generation aware that Ben Stiller’s parents, and George Costanza’s dad was a semi-regular on The Ed Sullivan Show? Their “shtick” was their inter-faith marriage. His Jewish background and her Irish/Catholic background gave us many laughs and was relatable. And nobody found it offensive!

We could all relate to the comedy of Stiller and Meara! I think of them when I’m with my sister and her husband! There is so much humor in inter-faith marriages and it isn’t offensive!

I’ll never forget when the Beatles performed on Ed Sullivan. It was the biggest event. Even though I was a few years younger than the screaming teenaged girls in the live audience, it was still amazing to see the group that changed rock and roll, as well as pop music history! We were a family, from ages 4 up to 35 (wow, I still can’t believe my dad was only 35 when I was ten years old!) watching entertainment history together!

He may not have liked the Doors, but Sullivan loved the “Lads from Liverpool”!

Ed Sullivan’s variety wasn’t the only show of its genre. Sullivan’s show may have been live but what about Dean Martin?

He may have sung about how everybody loves somebody sometime, but I loved Dino ALL the time!

Dean Martin’s Variety Show was another great showcase for entertainers who sang, danced, and joked around with the ever-suave and cool host, Dino! He always had a drink in one hand, a cigarette in another, and was sexist as all get-out. But you know what? He may have been sexist, but he was so with all the charm and panache in the world.

He smoked. He drank. He was sexist. But I loved this man! He was one cool cat!

The sad thing is, he would be crucified if he was on TV today! In the present time, 12-step programs would be offended by the glass of booze. Physicians and healthcare organizations would be rallying to get him off the air due to an “unhealthy” lifestyle of said booze and cigs. Women’s groups would be rallying and creating petitions due to his extremely sexist treatment of womenfolk. It’s too bad—because people have lost their good sense of humor.

When I was a young girl, I wanted to be one of Dean’s Golddigger ladies. That big hair! Those outfits! And Dino!!

Before she was Carol Brady, Florence Henderson was better known for her singing and dancing talent!

Yet, as sexist as Dean may have been (and all in good fun), many women viewers these days appear to be OK with the god-awful way in which women treat other women on shows such as the Bravo “Real Housewives” franchise—or even “Mob Wives”. At least Dean Martin appreciated women!!!!

Jill Zarin–formerly of “Real Housewives of New York City” never had a nice word about anyone! Women being mean to other women–not entertainment!

How about The Carol Burnett Show?

With Lyle Waggoner and with Tim Conway–this was a terrific variety show. And kudos for a woman to break the old boy system!

Who can forget her infamous skit about “Gone With The Wind”—where Carol, as Scarlett walks down a staircase dressed in not only drapes, but the curtain rod as well?

Quite possibly, one of the funniest and most unforgettable comedy skits of all time!

Who can forget Harvey Korman’s constant distraction by Tim Conway and breaking out into a laugh?

Korman, trying, as always, to suppress laughter.

Singing. Dancing. Skits. Fun. Entertainment!! THAT’s what this old lady wants to see back on the TV screen. Reality stars are NOT entertainers! The Kardashian’s became famous because of a sex tape while the Duggars became famous for having sex at least 19 times! I don’t think having talented lady parts is considered entertainment—well, not the kind of entertainment I’m talkin’ about!

I watched this show once or twice and just couldn’t anymore. I just–could not!

I miss Ed. And Merv.

Ohhhh. How I loved Merv. He may have had a talk show, but he had lots of variety!

And Mike Douglas.

His afternoon talk/variety show was fun to watch after school.

First time I heard Sammy sing “Candyman” was on Mike Douglas’s Show

And Dean—with his regular variety show AND his “Golddiggers. I miss the controversial cool of the Smothers Brothers–and their great guests like the Who and Jefferson Airplane!

This mom always liked BOTH of you best!

Cool guests like Jefferson Airplane kept the Brothers Smothers popular with young people! Truth be told–every now and then if I’m at a party or gathering where I’ve had a few drinks, I’m always tempted to put my Grace Slick on and sing a rendition of “White Rabbit”. We sound alike, you know!

And Laugh-In’s old reruns. And Carol Burnett, Red Skelton, Jonathan Winters, Andy Williams.

So many talents came from this show…

Sock it to me. Again and again!

I loved whenever the Osmonds were on Andy Williams!

Donny may be a cutie, but I was seriously crushin on Merrill. I still love me some Donny and Marie!

And yes, I even want The Hollywood Palace back so that I can fondly remember all those appearances by Tom Jones!

Remember this show on Saturday nights?

Is it so unusual for me to be in love with you since I was nine years old?

THAT’S Reality! My birthday is quickly approaching. I’m going to ask Bonaparte to go onto Amazon and order DVD’s of The Ed Sullivan Show, The Dean Martin Show, The Smothers Brothers Show, Mike Douglas, Merv….

Imagine. The next time the kids visit, after dinner and great conversation, we can go into the living room, I can slip a Dean Martin or Ed Sullivan CD into the DVD player and we can watch some old-school ENTERTAINMENT as a family! Wouldn’t that be neat, keen, peachy, freakin’ cool??

Bring back the talent—not the talentless!

You know you are in for a treat today! The Beatles on Ed…and…Dean Martin with Engelbert Humperdink!!!!!!!! XOXOXOXOXO! Enjoy your weekend!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Carol Burnett, Loft Jeans, Stiller & Meara, The Beatles, The Doors, The Duggars, The Kardashians, The Osmonds, The Smothers Brothers, Tom Jones, Topo Gigio | 3 Comments

Faux Tan Élan, A Travel Makeup Plan, Blah, Blah, Blah!

Posted on April 9, 2015 by Catherine

Ok. I told you that I would be putting the Jergen’s Natural Glow Instant Sun Sunless Tanning Mousse.

Jergen’s Instant Sun Tanning Mousse

Well, I took a bath, shaved and exfoliated my legs, and am ready to give you a report.

First of all, I put one of my bathing suit bottoms on and an old t-shirt—which I’m actually glad that I did. There’s a lot of soft, flabby skin for testing—unlike the perfect human mannequins that you usually see throughout TV and print ads. You can see that my legs are extremely pale.

Pale, wintery legs shaved and ready for the tanning process.

Off to the bathroom to shake this can (No. Not the one on my body—the tan can!). I shook it until it twerked! The instructions read to pump the product into the palm of your hand or a mitt. My hand is my mitt. I did notice that for a mousse, it was a bit on the watery side. What I expected was a mousse with the consistency of shaving cream or hair mousse. It isn’t.

I shook the can incredibly hard but this is the consistency of the mousse. I thought it would be thicker.

I ended up applying the product directly on my legs and rubbed it in.

I worked the product in using a circular motion and trying to get an even application. Quite a bit of product is needed. The instructions also say that if applying additional product, wait until the next day. I’ll be applying another coat tomorrow.

Naturally, allow skin to dry prior to dressing. After 60 seconds, the product was a bit damp but not completely dry. While it does not completely dry after a minute, five minutes later it was completely dried—which is far better than using the lotion.

This doesn’t dry completely in 60 seconds–but it does dry quicker than a lotion. Much quicker!

I did notice my legs being slightly darker, but I definitely will have to apply another coat. The arms looked decently darker as well.

bathing suit bottom and tshirt. getting darker

Somewhat darker–it is NOT instant, but as I write this, it’s a good couple of hours later and I won’t need to reapply tomorrow.

Is this worth the $11.99 price? To tell you the truth, I’m not sure. Tan Towel is still the best bet; they may be on the pricey side, but the faux tan achieved from Tan Towel is superior and lasts for quite a few days longer than other fake tan products.

Still my personal favorite!

Now that makeup artist Wayne Goss is my pretend best friend forever (my delusions are increasing), I’m going to try using his technique for using the ELF face powder today. I’m also going to inventory all my makeup and “facial” samples and get a jump on packing my beauty products for our upcoming trip. Why do this so far in advance? Because I’m lazy and I procrastinate. Look—today’s weather is so crappy. The temperature dropped a good 20 degrees, it’s raining and damp as all get-out. Days like this are good days to find a task that needs to be done and get it over with. Taking care of my makeup/toiletries will make packing my clothing for the trip a breeze.

I revisited an old friend! YSL Top Secret BB cream. I should have used this more during this past winter because it isn’t cakey at all and it feels very moisturizing. It’s a bit on the porcelain side so I wouldn’t use it in the summer. It’s definitely a winter and cold weather product for me. It’s pricey at $50.00 but I’ve had this for over a year. A little bit goes a long way. Comes in three shades, Clear (light), Medium and Dark.

Top Secrets BB Cream from YSL. It isn’t dry and goes on nicely. Pic on the right–I’ve got cream blush on over the BB cream.

OK—the powder technique. I did as instructed by Mr. Goss, I shook the container to release the powder from the little holes.

Shook to release the powder!

Placed the puff on top of the powder, flicked the excess off and rolled the puff.

Trust me, the puff is full of powder. You can see it at the edges…

A quick flick of the finger to the puff to get rid of excess….

…and a roll of the puff onto the skin! (please don’t judge me on my nails. I need a manicure. I know. I’ll get one!)

Surprisingly, it worked. I have powder on my face and cannot feel it at all.

The ELF HD powder really gives a great finish. At $6.00 it is a steal!

Oh. Remember the Laura Geller “French Vanilla” highlighter I purchased? Well, I wanted to show you just how yellow it is. Look below my brow. See how yellow? I mean, it doesn’t look horrible, but it certainly doesn’t look that great. Definitely will pass on to Oona.

I also wanted to mention. Today is a rainy, damp day. Putting my hair up in a high bun means that my hair is being “set” into nice waves when I take it down (on the next nice-weather day)! See my shirt? I’m an equal opportunity baseball fan! I love the Red Sox but still love my NY Yankees too!

Alrighty. On to the purging and packing of the beauty products. I swear I have more of this stuff than I do clothing!

A towel is placed on the carpet so I don’t mess it up with makeup. Chippy is trying to eat everything. What a project! L to R: Black case to store excess makeup, “Thirty-One” brand Makeup case, a case for samples, a bag for more toiletries, a plastic, see-through, snap on bag for my luggage.

My travel beauty essentials are put into the “Thirty-One” brand “Timeless Beauty Bag”. One of my co-workers was selling the brand and I got one for me and one for Oona. These bags are in constant use and at the ready. Even so, I thought it would be a good idea to take inventory and clean it out. I forgot about my extra Vera Bradley brushes. I keep some in this bag. I cleaned all the brushes and now they are drying. I also purged any creams or makeup that dried up. I know that expiration dates are important but if I’m opening an old mascara and it isn’t dried out, I’ll keep using it—especially if I spent a pretty penny on it—like the Tarte mascara that I have.

Three mascaras one full size two sample size. I checked to see if the product wasn't dried out. I'm using them

Wed and Wild Bronzer. I didn't even use this last year but I swear by it.

best eyeshadow palette for traveling. Ii don't care how much of it chippy ate

Lancome sample pallette. Good for a bit of evening shimmer

Cleansing cloths for walking around in the South of France

Among the items in my travel makeup case are the old Vera Bradley brushes which I cleaned and are drying; one full sized mascara and two travel sized mascaras; three liquid eyeliners (I like to have backups); Wet ‘n Wild bronzer; Naked Basics Palette (Chippy ate some of the case and the mirror broke, but I’m still using this. The shadows are GREAT); glittery sample palette from Lancôme that’ll come in handy for evening; three weeks worth of Lancôme Genefique samples; Lancôme Visionnaire sample; L’Occitane cleansing cloths which are perfect while traipsing around the South of France!

Next up, I went through a clear plastic bag that snaps into my suitcase. Other essentials are stored in this.

Tissues, wipes, deodorant, combs, toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, hair ties and other essentials are packed in here.

After a thorough check of my travel essentials and makeup I still have enough samples to last me quite a few years!

My case runneth over!

You would not believe what else I found!

The crucifix from my aunt, Sr. Josephine’s, rosaries. She was an Ursuline nun, and the beads were worn as part of her habit. Note the inscription on the back.

This crucifix is now next to my dad’s missal.

Happy Meal doll from 2004! WTF??????

Anyway, I needed blush and razors and shaving cream. Since I wanted to get this done and over with, I ran to Target, picked up some inexpensive cream blush by NYX and a pack of disposable razors and a travel sized shaving cream.

I couldn’t find cream blush in the ELF aisle, but this is a nice inexpensive neutral blush and was only $6.00

All are now packed with the toiletries and I’m finished with that part of packing. Now I just have to concentrate on the clothing!

Speaking of clothing. I ran out of the house dressed like the epitome of a Glamour Magazine “Don’t”. Leggings, t-shirt, denim jacket and a pair old and beat up Bass Weejuns! What a sight! Huh?

Oy vey! What a classy ensemble!

I’m off to look for some low fat, low caloric recipes for the weekend!

XOXOXOXO!

To get in the mood for travel, here’s the lovely Carla Bruni with “A Little French Song”. I hope you enjoy her raspy voice as much as I do. She’s a treasure!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Carli Bruni, Makeup for Mature Women, Travel essentials | 2 Comments

Windows to My Wednesday World. Real Housewives (of NYC) Don’t Cry–Or Do They?

Posted on April 8, 2015 by Catherine

Bonne Mercredi!

I thought it was bad enough watching the season premiere of “Real Housewives of NY” last night.

Trust me buddyroos. I WAS a REAL Houswife of NYC at one time. NONE of my fellow NYC housewife friends were this pathetic–even my wealthy NYC wifey buddies were nothing like these self-indulgent women–but it’s fun to watch! (except Bethenny-UGH)

Ugh. Bethenny Frankel’s constant whinging, whining, and playing the victim is sickening to me. (…and I thought I was a master whiner!) She’s got a multi-million dollar empire and she is still one of the most miserable women I’ve ever seen. I cannot believe Andy Cohen brought her back as a cast member of this show–even Aviva would have been more welcomed!

Hear that dripping noise Bethenny? It’s my heart bleeding for ya! Whaaaa!!!! Try NOT being the richest homeless person in Manhattan. Vous êtes un conasse misérable ingrat!!

Whaaaa, *sniff* *sniff*. I wish I was worth more than my millions of dollars that are keeping me homeless! Whaaaaa! Andyyyyyy, can you put me back on TV???

It truly was a laugh out loud moment for me when she was in the car crying to Fredrik Eklund, her fake, TV-scripted fellow Bravo reality star real estate agent. She actually said she was the “richest homeless person in Manhattan”….. You know, there are times when even I am so dumbstruck that I just am at a loss for words. Honestly. There are no words–at least there are no kind words!

Look at Fredrik. Her *ahem* real estate agent. I suspect even HE thinks Bethenny is an ingrate!

Note to Andy Cohen: You lost this viewer. Get rid of Bethenny and, like Arnold’s “Terminator”, I’ll be back!

Onto other things.

My latest contribution to French Entrée has been published. I even took that glorious pic of Sacre Coeur that’s above the article! ! It’s my tips on visiting Paris for the first time—especially if you’re only visiting for a few days! Click on the link for some fun tips!

My Latest French Entree article. What to do with only three days in Paris

Bonaparte gave me a project for today. We need window coverings for the downstairs guest bedroom. One of the kids mentioned that the sun came in early in the morning. Thus, interrupting “sleeping in”.

Given today’s gray and gloomy weather, you would never be able to tell that this room is usually drenched in bright light!

Here’s a better pic. We do need proper window coverings–and paint on the walls!

A fine project it is! There is one little caveat. I cannot have unlined curtains or drapes in my home. It’s a bit of OCD. One of my greatest pet peeves is looking into a window from the outside (trust me, I promise you I am NOT a “Peeping Tomasina”!) and seeing different colored window treatments. My window /treatments/curtains/drapes must be lined in white or off white and every single lining has to match or they won’t do. Its right up there with sofas, beds and other furniture propped against the windows. Windows are meant to be looked out of—not to have furniture obstructing the view!

My eye is twitching as I type this. That’s the OCD kicking in for sure!

Chippy and I drove to Bed, Bath, and Beyond, a store that I’ve become disappointed in lately. Even so, BBB still has a very decent selection of window coverings. I found a few but I have to decide on the color. Neutrals are the best choice.

I really like these–they can be hung as pinch pleats or on a rod. I like the neutral colored ones..and….

The price is decent.

These panels have a bit of a pearlized finish and are at an even better price point of $34.99 per panel.

Next it was off to Home Goods. I saw some panels that I liked, but none were lined. Had to walk away!

I liked these a lot! But no lining means no buying!

My last stop for the window project was the local Target. I never even got anywhere near the window treatments because I was distracted at the cosmetics department! Oh dear me! Look what I found! A new Jergens self-tanner! This is a mousse that dries in 60 seconds. I would have tried this as soon as I got back home but I didn’t shave my legs today. I’ll have to try it tomorrow!

Tomorrow morning I’ll be trying this on! Hope it gives me a polished tan!

I also picked up this Elf HD face powder. OK. I’ll explain this purchase. I’m not a fan of face powder because the feeling I have after applying is that of a taut mask. In addition—my face looks cakey. Really, I’ve posted many pics of my less-than-hydrated visage—parched, desert skin doesn’t suit me! But..at times, especially during the sweaty summer, I would like my makeup to set and have a nice finish. See the paragraphs below about how I ended up making this purchase! (sorry, but I’m all over the place today!)

This powder received great reviews. Hopefully, I’ll achieve a flawless finish without looking dry and cakey! I hear it’s well-worth the $6.00 price!

For $3.00–how could I resist yet another brush? We’ll see how the quality of this ELF powder brush is!

Yesterday I saw pore reducing powder by “It” cosmetics but balked at the price—instead I read reviews on MakeupAlley. Have you ever heard of MakeupAlley? It’s a GREAT site. Tons of reviews about tons of products. I review on MakeupAlley all the time (if you want my MUA moniker, shoot me an email).

Makeupalley Site. Have a look!

To make a long story shorter, I read reviews on the “It” pore reducing powder and it was mentioned that ELF cosmetics had a better dupe and that is how I ended up making the ELF purchase.

You know how one thing leads to another? Well, one of the reviewers on MakeupAlley mentioned a tutorial about applying face powder on YouTube by makeup artist Wayne Goss. I watched it and immediately subscribed to his tutorials! Here’s his tips on applying face powder!

He’s just achieved status as yet another one of my delusional best friends!

I also picked up this box of rice cake squares. I calculated with my Weight Watchers pocket calculator. 3 points for 4 squares! With a schmear of hummus or mashed avocado or peanut butter, it’ll make a good lunch!

Three points for 4 squares–not bad!

Oh….hey, remember the lipstick I reviewed yesterday? The Lipstick Queen “Saint” Fire Red? Look! Here’s a pic of me taken a few moments ago. I’ve had it on since around 8:45 this morning. Five hours later AND a Starbuck’s Venti Non-Fat Chai Latte gulped down—it’s still on my lips! Talk about long-lasting—and this isn’t even the 90% pigmented version! Bonaparte also noticed this lipstick on me and mentioned that it looked so pretty! He likes it!

Five hours later and the color is still there! I highly recommend Lipstick Queen Lipsticks!

Oh boy—I almost forgot. See this Old Navy Sweatshirt I’m wearing? (shhhh. I wore it AND workout pants today. At least I can PRETEND I worked out!). THAT’s WHERE I WAS BORN!!! In Rockaway Beach, NYC.

The Ramones may have sung about “Rockaway Beach” but your’s truly was born there!

I tidied up my makeup desk and found this old, old pic of my dad and me. I must’ve been about 2 years old. It was taken when we lived in Ozone Park (or…as I would say Ozone “Pawk”), Queens. A few years before we moved to Long Island! I loved living in Ozone Pawk! I miss my dad so much. It’s always a good thing when I find reminders of him—always makes my days much better, like an angel on my shoulder—only it’s my dad!

Hanging on the stoop with my dad! My outfit is just to-die-for!

Well, I’m going to continue to be productive. I’m going to make an attempt to go into the garage and unpack some warm-weather clothing, cry (wahhhh…just like Bethenny Frankel) about not being able to fit into said clothing, and try to start figuring out what to pack for our upcoming trip to France!

Or…maybe not. I just may sit down and look for more Wayne Goss tutorials!

OXOXOXO!

Today’s little song is for Bethenny from “Real Housewives of New York”. An oldie but goodie by The Four Seasons—appropriately “Big Girls Don’t Cry”!

Posted in Andy cohen, Bath and Beyond, Bed, Bethenny Frankel whining--again. Bravo, Drapes, Elf Cosmetics, ELF cosmetics. WW points.Rockaway Beach, Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, Home Decorating, Home Goods, Jergen's Natural Glow Instant Sun Mousse, Makeupalley, Ozone Park, Real Housewives of NYC, Target, Wayne Goss, Window Covering | Leave a comment

My Tummy Ain’t so Yummie, But the Lipstick Queen Rules and Old People DO Rock!

Posted on April 7, 2015 by Catherine

Happy Tuesday! It’s barely past noon and I feel as though I’ve put in a full day already! Yesterday afternoon I was feeling kind of “meh” and “blah”. I knew that a brand new lipstick would brighten me up! Plus—well, I’ve been seeing a lot of red lipstick lately, and although I have those old lady wrinkly chapped lips, I figured that there has to be a red that I can actually wear.

Best Red Lipsticks. Photo from Huffington Post.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve tried reds before and they just come off too harsh and severe, so I thought that if I could find a red with a hint of coral maybe, just maybe. It would work.

Off I went to Ulta. I’ll explain something. It’s hard for me to try lipstick on because my very own lips are extremely naturally pigmented. What does that mean? It means I actually have to prime my lips with a bit of concealer or foundation to neutralize my natural coloring. Kinda like rosacea of the mouth!

Some reds are too brown. Some too blue/red. Some too orange. Some too burgundy. All unflattering!

I saw a display that caught my attention: Lipstick Queen. I remember hearing about this brand, but I’ve never tried anything. The colors were really nice. While scanning the various lipsticks, my eyes came across a lovely coral/red. Mind you, not orange but a subtle coral red. Saint Fire Red. I tried it and even without my mouth being primed, it looked pretty good. At $22.00 I took a risk—which I’ll get back to in a few moments.

I love the packaging…and I love this color..

But hold on, there’s more where this came from! I promise!

The blush brush I had for years started falling apart and bristles were coming of on my cheeks. I mean—it’s bad enough having a fuzzy upper lip and those pesky chin hairs. The last things I need are bristles from a brush to add to my fuzzy-wuzzy appearance. (My blush brush is from Vera Bradley. I don’t even know if she makes these brushes anymore but the set was great!)

Unfortunately Vera Bradley does not make this brush set anymore–it really is a shame because the brushes were great. I found this stock pic from Polyvore, but they are sold out!

I bought this Ecotools blush brush and used it today. It was fine!

At under ten dollars, this Ecotools Blush Brush picks up the color and distributes it very nicely. We’ll see what the long-term effects are with the quality!

Never one to pass up an inexpensive eye liner, this Rimmel felt-tipped liner looked promising. I’m packing it in my makeup bag for my trip to France. (Yes. I’m starting to pack. 8 weeks left till the trip).

Already in the makeup bag!

Lastly, I picked up this French Vanilla baked highlighting powder by Laura Geller. It’s weird–Geller’s products are so hit or miss for me. Some of the baked eye shadows are fantastic; and her “Spackle” is a great priming product as well. But others–oh boy, just not a good match for my coloring. I thought this baked highlighter would be a hit, but it’s too yellow for me. I’ll give it to Oona–it’ll be a better match for her!

This would have been great if it weren’t too yellow. It’ll look nice on Oona instead!

I woke up early to submit an article to French Entrée. Check! (One of my previous articles for your enjoyment below!)

My French Entree Article “People Watching in the Place Dauphine”

Bonaparte had me review the changes he made to my ever-evolving resume and cover letter. Check! Savor my morning coffee whilst viewing last night’s latest installment of “Southern Charm”. Check! Time to get ready! Check!

Since the weather has warmed up—at least for two days, I decided on wearing white jeans and a cute Lilly Pulitzer hooded tunic.

Perfect for this weather. It’s actually lightweight and looks great with white shorts too. (As long as the legs have a nice spray tan, they look great). Got this for a very steep discount at the Lilly Pulitzer Warehouse sale last year!

OK—so back to the lipstick. I made sure to add a thin layer of foundation to my lips.

Ugh. The lips are chapped. See why I need the Chapstick? That being said, I have a thin layer of foundation on my lips. Also of note–the old lady wrinkles above my mouth AND see the scar along the bottom of my lip? That’s where my lip was sewn back together after my bathtub fall!

Usually my next step is a swipe of Chapstick. I skipped the Chapstick today because I wanted to see how the lipstick would go on and how long the lipstick would last on its own.

Next I outlined the lips with NYX Wonder Pencil. I really like this because it does do a decent job in stopping any “bleeding”—trust me, I can easily look like “Baby Jane” if I don’t take proper precautions.

Sorry about the quality of the pic. I think the lighting was bad.

The wonder pencil stops me from looking like “Baby Jane”!

I applied the lipstick with my MAC retractable lipstick brush.

MAC retractable lipstick brush. Great to throw in your purse too!

The application was smooth and even. It’s a sheer color of 10% pigmentation; so I added a second layer of color.

Nice corally red–don’t you think?

I’ll tell you—I’m pleased with this color. It is a true coral/red but not orange.

I like the color even more with a top coating of clear gloss!

What’s weird is that on the Lipstick Queen Website, the “Fire Red” is described as an orangey red, but on me, it looks more like a coral red. I like this. A lot. The “Sinner” lipstick is matte and made up of 90% pigmentation. I may be brave enough to try the “Sinner” version one of these days! I applied a clear gloss and like the results. A good change from my usual berry/pink color.

If you go on the site for Lipstick Queen, don’t judge the colors by those little “swatches” oh lordy—they are so “off” base!

Lipstick Queen Site

Oh geez. I have to tell you, remember the 5-pack Yummie Tummie shapewear I ordered from HSN?

This is the 5-pack set. I swear you have to be as small as this photo to fit into the M/L size!

My Original Posting Mentioning Yummie Tummie

It was delivered. Never again. Never again will I order any shapewear of any kind. Listen to me—I tried on the high-waisted, long leg shapewear. OK, it didn’t really hold me in all that much, but it was very comfy and has a nice reinforced waistband on the inside of the shapewear which absolutely does not roll down.

The only item worth wearing at all is the high-waisted long line shapewear. This reinforced waist band really keeps them up without rolling. Everything else was a fail!

On to the next pair of shapewear. I tried on the high, thigh cut brief. Stuffing sausage into a casing would have been easier. I almost broke out into a sweat just trying to get these past my thighs. Finally, they were on me, but I had to hold my breath to keep them up. Once I let out a sigh, the pair rolled down to my hips. At this point I was a bit perplexed, I thought maybe the wrong size had been packed, but it was, in fact a M/L. Trust me, I didn’t gain THAT much weight this winter.

Ever the sunshine pumper and so full of hope, I decided to try one of the two sleeveless shirts—both would be great to wear with maxi skirts without looking to “fundie” or “Duggarish”! Heather Thompson, owner of Yummie and star supreme of “Real Housewives of New York” fame stated that the shirt would not flatten out your bustline, giving you a beautiful silhouette. Well, the shirt was so tight that I could barely get it past my neck, then the bottom of the shirt got all mixed up and twisted that it took me almost five minutes to figure out where the bottom was and untwist the shirt—while still being caught in it. Once on, I had the silhouette of a cross between a five-year old boy with a beer belly and Baby Huey.

Picture a sleeveless shirt that is just a bit longer. That’s what I looked like–without the diaper–OK??

Who the hell is she making these shapewear pieces for—women with eating disorders????????? My daughter, Oona, is a size 4, I would give these to her but I think they would be too small—even for a size 4 body!! I’m so pissed off. You have no idea! Epic fail Heather Thompson. Epic fail!!

I’ll just keep slowly losing the weight and let whatever ripples and bumps I have enjoy their freedom!

Ok, so with normal underwear under my white skinnies and my Lilly shirt, I donned a pair of flip flops, put Chippy on leash and headed out to the car. My goal—to stop at Barnes and Noble and pick up Christina Tosi’s new cookbook, “Milk Bar Life”. You know how much I love the original “Milk Bar” Cookbook so this is, hopefully, worth the wait!

The second I opened the door, Chippy decided to bolt. With me holding his leash. I tripped over a flip flop; my purse flew into the bushes, as did my car keys. I, too, took a header into two of the bushes in front of the house. I cannot write what I said next because Main Line Animal Rescue would be at my door to take my beloved little rascal away from me. The good thing is that Chippy stayed on the driveway; he must’ve known that I was bleeding. Yes. I have three cuts on my foot, and two more on my stomach. THANK GOD, my white skinnies where unharmed!

And yes. I was able to make the trip to Barnes and Noble to get the book.

Later today, I’ll read through this book for some recipes! I’ll most likely be making those very recipes when the kids visit, because for now, I’m sticking to various Kale salads, boiled fish, fruit and, as a treat, Starbucks NON-FAT Chai Lattes (4 points).

I calmed myself down by listening to “The Best of Al Green” as I drove. Chippy was a very good boy and continues to be as I write this.

To close, my delusional mind is thinking of starting a revolution of sorts for my old peeps! Perhaps “Old People Rock”….or..

…or maybe I should call Bob McAllister and have him re-vamp the song “Kids Are People Too” to read “Oldsters Are People Too”–Rant Against the Ageism Machine!

“Old Lives Matter”. We are a strong group you know. We all have ageism going against us. We are black, white, yellow, all religions, all different sexual orientations. We are all in the same boat. Nobody wants to hire us for office jobs. We’re all but ignored in fashion ads. On TV—we’re only good for advertisements for medications, The Clapper, and Hoverround power chairs!

Anyway, I made a little “rap”. It’s about old people! Of course I’m no Stephanie Spielberg, but, hey—it’s the best video I could do. I hope you enjoy it!

Here’s a little Reverend Al Green for you to enjoy on this Tuesday as well! Enjoy the rest of the day!

XOXOXOXOXO!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged French Entree articles, Lilly Pulitzer, Lipstick Queen, Mac Lipstick Brush, NYX Wonder Pencil, Old People Rap, Yummie Tummie by Heather Thompson | Leave a comment

Toasty Hosty With The Mosty!

Posted on April 6, 2015 by Catherine

]Hi buddyroos—and I hope you had a great Easter weekend!

We had a quiet Easter Sunday. Jake, Roman and Oona stayed in NYC. Work obligations and relatives visiting from my ex-husband’s family gave all three a hectic but fun weekend. I’ll admit—it’s weird not having the grown kids here for every holiday, but their dad does deserve his time with them. Plus—they get good Polish food—like babka, kielbasa and pierogis!

All was not lost, I made a basket full of treats for Bonaparte’s granddaughter—so I still got to fulfill motherly tasks!

Happy to still have an Easter basket in the house!

Although, I have to say, for the first time in my life I did not dye eggs for Easter. I’m still trying to figure out if I miss that process or not!

I don’t miss getting that dye all over my fingers and hands and clothing and….

Our dinner on Saturday night was a success. I’ve always enjoyed entertaining. And, as you are aware from my past week’s posts, I did a lot of the prep work in advance. I still had quite a bit to do on Saturday, but luckily I was able to do so at a relaxed pace and even had time to catch up on Season 2 of “Southern Charm”!

Just another group of idle bodies that I love to despise!

I even got to enjoy more delusions of having Whitney Sudler-Smith’s mom, Patricia (Queen Patricia) Altschul as my newest best friend forever. Now this is a woman who knows how to entertain and live the good life. She hires her butlers (yes. Butler with an “s” at the end!) on their ability to make the perfect martini. Why can’t she be my friend?????

She may live an idle and privileged life, but Queen Patricia is my new idol! I want that bed. I want her tea service. I especially want her plastic surgeon!

Anyway, I’m no expert like Queen Patricia, but I do know a thing or two about hostessing—a few tips:

Prepare as much food as you can in advance—even if it is days in advance. I made my rillettes three days in advance. I also baked the brioche days in advance as well as the dessert and the sauces. It really is a good thing to check for recipes that can be made in advance because it’ll make entertaining day/evening much less stressful!

chicken rilettes waiting for the covering of duck fat

BTW, the Salmon Rillettes and the Chicken Rillettes were a huge hit..I served them on…..

I cannot say enough about this brioche. Wrapped really well, it kept so that I could

The Brioche that I made. I sliced the brioche then toasted the slices then cut them into four squares! Perfect appetizers

2.I’m not one for “tablescapes” but I love me a decent looking table setting. Figure out in advance how you want the table to look. Do you want a super-formal look? Casual? Casual chic? Have the linens washed and ironed a day or so before as well. You will feel more empowered and organized!

My red table!

Bonaparte had issues with the way I set the table. He said it wasn’t the “French” way. I smiled and told him that this setting was the “Cathe” way!

Remember the “repurposed” flowers I put into the sunroom? Well, they were “re-repurposed” as a centerpiece.

3. Go through your inventory of serving platters and tableware. If you’re short a platter or gravy boat or any other items, check out local thrift and consignment shops. I guarantee you will find more than you bargained for at a fraction of what you would pay retail—even discount retail! If you don’t find what you’re looking for thrift-wise, there’s always Home Goods (I love that store!)

Silver platters I purchased at the “Red White and Blue Salvation Army” thrift shop years ago in Hamilton, NJ. I know–I need to polish them, but I do use these a lot–especially around the Christmas season!

One of my all-time favorite thrift buys. An entire set of this old-school porcelain. Plates, platters, soup bowls, finger bowls, tea cups and saucers and dessert plates. I spent under $25.00. I use it when I’m feeling very fancy and proper!

Look behind the martini glasses…more of the set!

These Christmas themed cups are also a thrift purchase. I use them for serving my Martha Stewart Eggnog at Christmas!Pick out easy finger foods as hors d’oeuvres with your aperitifs.

4. Bonaparte and I love our Kir Royales and guests can’t resist the refreshing champagne and crème de cassis mix—delightfully bubbly and sweet, it’s a good pairing for small tasty treats. Deviled eggs are always a crowd pleaser. You can hard boil the eggs and peel them days in advance. In addition, you can prepare the filling, spoon it into a pastry bag with tip, cover it up and “assemble” the eggs an hour or so before the guests arrive. I also like to serve salty black olives and prosciutto!

Somebody ate two of the deviled eggs that I prepared! Who could that be? OH–this deviled egg platter is a thrift shop find too!

Little picks like make picking up any finger food into something more elegant!

5. There is nothing wrong with plastic plates for serving hors d’oeuvres. During my visits to dollar stores and other stores selling inexpensive treasures, little fancy plates can be picked up for next to nothing—and you can store them away for future use!

See these little plates? Picked them up ages ago! Check out the cocktail napkins–they match my tablecloth!

Here’s a “last chance” buy from Ikea. It may be unused but at some point, I’ll need extras!

6. Bonaparte has this “thing” about the main plate being as “hot off the presses” as possible. So here’s what I’ll do: I’ll make sure the vegs are blanched in advance and brought down to room temperature as closely to the dinner as possible. I will only spend “time” in the kitchen cooking the meat while everyone is enjoying the appetizers at the table. That’s why I’ll cook various chicken dishes. Red meat isn’t a good choice simply because everyone seems to like theirs cooked at various levels of “doneness”. I’ll pound the breasts down to an even width so that the cooking will only take but a few minutes.

Asparagus bundles resting on an asparagus server (thrifted) make a cute presentation!

Asparagus and ice cubes to stop the cooking

After blanching the Haricort Vert and the asparagus, I placed them in ice water to stop the cooking….then, for something extra I made an aoli….

Easy aoli recipe: 3 egg yolks, 2 cloves of garlic (or more), juice of one lemon, olive oil. First peel the garlic and salt it. Pound it to a paste with your mortar and pestle. whisk the egg yolks till creamy. Add the salted garlic. Whisk some more. Pour olive oil in a steady stream while whisking(about 1/2 cup or so). You want the aoli thick! Add a bit of lemon juice to thin out just a bit! The aoli is a great accompaniment for the vegetables!

7.Main course finished, I’ll wait a few before clearing the table off for dessert! The Nougatine I served on Saturday was perfect because I was able to take it out of the freezer, slice it and serve. I poured the chocolate sauce and the caramel sauce in small bowls so the guests would have their choice. I like to serve simple and not complex desserts. If anything needs to be sliced, I’ll do it myself in the kitchen. Makes for easier presentation.

Caramel sauce and chocolate sauce and Nougatine were prepared well in advance. I’m sorry that I used a stock photo of the nougatine, but the only photos I have show the nougatine all wrapped up!

8. Another thing we like to do—clean everything up after the guests leave. I know. Sometimes you just want to leave everything till the morning. Nuh unh. Better to get the clean up done immediately. If you are hung over the next morning, the last thing you want to do is clean a mess!

9. Remember—if you receive a gift from a guest, write that “Thank You” note the very next day! I received this beautiful platter from one of Bonaparte’s good friends. I love it so much and am looking very forward to using it as soon as possible! Isn’t it beautiful?

This platter is such a beautiful gift!

Thank you is already sent!

Well, those are my tips and I hope that you like them and maybe could use one or two! I’m hoping that Queen Patricia writes a hostess book. I would be first on line to make that purchase!

I want to be the kind of hostess Queen Patricia is!

Will I measure up?

XOXOXOXOXO!

The great Ethel Merman “The Hostess With The Mostest On The Ball” from “Call Me Madame”!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Hostess tips. Table Settings, Patricia Altschul, thrift shop bargains | 1 Comment

Some Old-School “Good Friday” Musings. I May Be Lapsed–But I’m Still a Good “Catholic” Girl!

Posted on April 3, 2015 by Catherine

Alright, I’ll put it out there. I haven’t been to Mass in a while. While in the process of divorce, I was still attending Mass regularly until a visiting priest gave a homily at St. Ann’s, the Parish in Lawrenceville, NJ, that I belonged to AND taught CCD. In his homily he damned people like me who were divorced. Not one to take his comments lightly, I stood up in the middle of Mass, grabbed two of my children and said. “We’re leaving. I had enough of this crap”. I didn’t leave quietly.

I’m sure any of the parents whose children were in my CCD class ran to the rectory immediately after Mass ended and demanded a refund from Father Vince because I was a modern-day Mary Magdalene.

Mary Magdelene–A Saint I could relate to–but her hair is better!

A few years later, after I moved to the Philly suburbs, Oona and I attended Mass at St. Isaac Jogues in Chesterbrook. Upon receiving my Communion wafer with the wrong hand, the priest reprimanded me as I received the Body of Christ. In front of the entire congregation!

Oh. And I also forgot to mention this big one. The priest who married my ex-husband and me, Msgr. Woolsey, went to jail for embezzlement of funds from his Parish in NYC. I wrote a letter to the Archdiocese of New York requesting a free Annulment because the priest that married me was convicted of a crime, so I should not be treated like the sinner I am.

I never received an answer. I swear to god, this is stuff that you cannot make up. I’m not a good liar!

But it brings me to this—lapsed Catholic or not, I’m still a Catholic.

Every good Catholic girl has a nun doll. I still have mine and it is still out in the open on display on the bookshelf!

I hang my rosary beads on my car mirror. Granted, Bonaparte takes them off when he uses my car, but I always put them back where they belong.

Not only did I read THIS book, but I also read the original “Growing Up Catholic”

In Catholic School, this was my bible and…

To this day, I picture my soul as a bottle filled with dark chocolate milk–or maybe chocolate ganache! Oh wait!!! The dark one is EMPTY! Can you imagine? All these years I thought it was chocolate milk!

In fact, I’m extremely happy that Pope Francis is the head of the Church. This man is the true essence of Christianity. I may have been expelled from the Church, but it doesn’t stop me from having memories of old-school Good Fridays.

Francis–He’s the man!!!! The true essence of good in this world!

I remember being a student at St. Patrick’s in Bay Shore during the early through late sixties. On Good Friday grades One through Four would have the day off from school. The students in the Fifth through Eighth Grade would have to go to school for a half day. Guess where that half-day was spent?

Half a day in this church on Good Friday. I’m sure we all sinned because we were thinking of other things–like the candy we would receive in our Easter Baskets!

That’s right—the nuns, in their frightening habits would march us across Clinton Avenue, from the school over to the Church and we would attend all sorts of Good Friday services. From Mass to Benediction to Stations.

The Sorority of Sisters of Mercy. I’ll be they are smiling because they know they are able to torture us with those infamous clickers!

We would kneel, sit, and stand, not from commands imbedded in our Catholic memory, but from the nuns standing in the aisle with little unseen clickers. Anyone remember them?

Did the clickers that the nuns used look like this????

As weird as it may sound, I actually miss those days. I can close my eyes and smell the incense that was distributed in a cloud of smoke. To this day it is one of my favorite smells.

The incense is still one of my favorite church memories.

…and why can’t “Altar” servers of today wear the old-school altar boy attire. It’s so much prettier than those ugly albs the kids wear now. Ugh!

There was something just so grand and elaborate and beautiful about the rites and the solemn tone of it all.

I remember hearing, year after year, about Jesus being crucified and being brought to tears. How could that happen to Jesus?

As a child–this is just so sad. As an adult–it’s just barbaric.

The story was so sad that I could never understand why the day was called “Good” Friday! Shouldn’t it have been called “Sinful” Friday? Or “Mort Friday”? What’s so good about nailing some guy to a cross? It’s barbaric!!! Maybe “Barbaric” Friday would have been the best name.

Illustration from my dad’s missal.

Girls. Do you remember going to church, not just on Good Friday, but any Sunday and not having a mantilla on your head? No hat. No mantilla. What to do?

Jackie Kennedy rocked both the white mantilla and the….

Black mantilla. Either she’s that happy going to Mass or she heard a joke about a priest going into a bar……

A tissue and a bobby pin! Yes. I’m not kidding! My mother always had tissues and bobby pins in her purse—just in case we happened to stop and light a candle. I’m sure my mother was not above throwing a wrinkly used tissue in my frizzy hair from time to time—but at least I wasn’t sinful!

DIY Mantilla. Tissue and a Bobby Pin. What do think the reaction would be if I walked into a church now with this get up on my head?

When we were growing up, my parents had a strict “Good Friday” rule. We weren’t allowed to go out. Cross my heart, it’s true. We had to stay home on Good Friday—only allowed out to go to school and church. I often wonder—were we the only ones??

Not only no meat, but no fun either!

My dad, on his time off from his police work, could always be found in Church on his free time during Holy Week. My parents really were very much into their faith. I’m lucky because one of the items I have from my dad is his small missal and prayer book. It was given to him by our cousin, Sr. Raphael, a Sister of Mercy. She sent it to him from Ireland. Every now and then I open it up and read and try to visualize my dad. It’s a nice thing to have.

My dad’s favorite possession. A Missal from our cousin, Sr. Raphael.

I love reading this little note in the missal. He loved this so much!

I’ll take the Irish Holy Days of Obligation–only two. That’s because the Irish are ALWAYS at Mass anyway! Oh shit! I read it wrong. Those two days are in addition to…figures!

Would Jesus have made me stay home if he was aware of this? Not my Jesus. By the time I reached high school, Jesus morphed into a hippie…and Good Friday’s at church were a more “cheerful” experience with those “Catholic Folk Songs” and “Folk Groups”. Personally, I would much rather listen to the chants in Latin!

Is it sinful for me to have been crushin’ on Jesus when I was a young teen? I mean come on. I’ve never seen a Jesus who wasn’t spectacularly gifted in the genetics department!

We also had to fast on Good Friday. No breakfast. No lunch. Just fish sticks without the obligatory spaghetti for dinner!

This little fishy is swimming all the way to Mrs. Paul’s!

But with that came a sort-of personal discipline that is definitely missing these days. I remember giving up sugar in my tea during Lent when I was in fourth grade. To this day, I cannot stand sugar in my tea. Who knew that my Lenten sacrifice would make me just a tad healthier???

In fact, I’m very proud of my daughter, Oona. She has given up Starbucks’ Latte’s for Lent this year and she kept to her Lenten duty! She kept to her word. I’m so proud of her! Giving up any Starbucks item is a sacrifice and she did well!

No Starbuck’s Lattes during Lent isn’t just a sacrifice. It is an exercise in self-discipline! Proud of my daughter!

My modern-day vision of Jesus is that of a Hipster. And he would live in Williamsburg, Brooklyn and distribute artisanal baguettes and Chilean Sea Bass for his loaves and fishes. He would turn water into the best red-wine you could imagine. But mostly, he would be appalled at the way humankind treats each other! He wouldn’t have to be crucified because we’ve done that to ourselves.

So let’s think back on times before we became jaded and snarky and we were just too innocent to hate! Let’s really make this a truly “Good” Friday and be kind—even if just for the day. Let’s be kind!

Since I’m talkin’ old school Catholic today, here are some great fun movies about growing up Catholic:

“The Trouble With Angels” based on the book “Life With the Mother Superior”. I read the book and I have the movie—which I’m going to watch after I post this. I wanted to attend St. Francis Academy after seeing this movie—then I got really depressed when I found it was fiction based on fact.

My Aunt Terry took me to see this movie when it opened in Manhattan. I was ten years old. For almost 50 years, it is still one of my faves!

I wanted so much to attend St. Francis Academy!

“Heaven Help Us” is another great Catholic school film.

…and Mc Dreamy stars in this!

I need to watch this again too!

Both films are funny, touching, sad at times but will bring back memories—good or not.

On this Good Friday, the most beautiful chant of all “Tantum Ergo”. I remember this so well.

Peace and Kindness and Have a Wonderful Easter Weekend—or just a wonderful weekend! XOXOXOXOXOXO

Posted in Baltimore Cathecism, Being Raised a Catholic, Good Friday, Lent, Lynyrd Skynyrd "That Smell", Nuns, St. Patrick's Bay Shore, Tantum Ergo | 4 Comments

The Brioche Has Risen! Very Appropriate for Easter Week!

Posted on April 2, 2015 by Catherine

Wow. This week’s postings are turning into a recipe roll! Anyway, with the end of the week approaching, I’m just about finished with the prep work for Saturday evening’s dinner party.

The eggs are hard boiled and ready to be deviled! I purchased the asparagus and prosciutto for the chilled asparagus appetizers. (Snap the bottoms off the asparagus, blanch them, wrap prosciutto around the asparagus, shave parmesan cheese over them, plate and serve). As from my post about yesterday, the Salmon Rillettes as well as the Chicken Rillettes will be served as a first course. The ends of the Haricots Verts have been trimmed off and the only thing left to do with them is blanching, a drizzle of olive oil, salt, pepper and slivered almonds.

Lovin’ the fresh produce!

The grapes for the Chicken Veronique are in the fridge, the Nougatine is in the freezer, the accompanying sauces are in the fridge and all I need to do is get the chicken—which Bonaparte will do tomorrow at the Farmer’s Market in Wayne.

As I write this, I’ve got the Brioche baking in a Pullman loaf pan. I’ll admit—Brioche is the best-tasting off all the breads. You can have your croissants and baguettes but make mine brioche. It’s buttery, eggy goodness is very appealing to me. When I take out the cheese platter right before dessert, I’ll sneak in a couple of toasted slices of brioche…and watch everyone’s eyes roll with passion after they bite into the heavenly bread!

When lurking through the net for brioche recipes, I came across this one from Thomas Keller.

The following is from Thomas Keller’s book Bouchon, recipient of a James Beard Book Award in 2005.

1/3 cup very warm water (110°–115°F)
One 1/4-ounce package active dry yeast (not quick-rising)
101⁄2 ounces (21⁄2 cups) cake flour
10 ounces (2 cups) all-purpose flour
1/3 cup sugar
21⁄2 teaspoons fine sea salt
6 large eggs, at room temperature
2 1/2 sticks (10 ounces) unsalted butter, cut into 1-inch cubes,
at room temperature, plus butter for the pans.

Combine the water and yeast in a small bowl. Let stand for 10 minutes, then stir until the yeast is completely dissolved. Set aside.

Sift together the flours, sugar, and salt into the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the dough hook. Add the eggs and beat for 1 minute at low speed, scraping down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula as needed. Slowly add the dissolved yeast and continue beating at low speed for 5 minutes. Stop the machine, scrape any dough off the hook, and beat for another 5 minutes.

Add about one-quarter of the butter cubes at a time, beating for about 1 minute after each addition. Once all the butter has been added, beat for 10 minutes more.

Place the dough in a large floured bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Set aside in a warm place until doubled in size, about 3 hours.

Turn the dough out onto a generously floured work surface and gently work the air bubbles out by folding the dough over several times while lightly pressing down on it. Return the dough to the bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and refrigerate overnight.

The dough is now ready to shape or use in another recipe. Generously butter two 81⁄2-by-41⁄2 inch loaf pans. Turn the dough out onto a floured work surface. With floured hands, divide the dough in half and shape it into two rectangles that fit in the loaf pans. Place the dough in the pans.

Let the dough rise uncovered in a warm place until it is about 1⁄2 inch above the top of the pans, about 3 hours.

Preheat oven to 350°F.

Bake the brioche in the center of the oven until it is well browned on top and sounds hollow when tapped on the bottom, 35 to 40 minutes. Remove the brioche from the oven and immediately turn out onto a wire rack.

If serving immediately, let the breads cool for 10 minutes, then slice. If serving within a few hours, wrap the hot bread in aluminum foil and set aside at room temperature until ready to use. To freeze, wrap the hot bread in foil and promptly freeze. The bread can be kept frozen for up to 1 month; when ready to use, reheat (without thawing and still wrapped in the foil) in a 250°F oven until heated through, 20 to 25 minutes.

If using the brioche for croutons, let sit at room temperature uncovered to dry for a day.

Makes two loaves NOTE* or it will make one loaf if made in a Pullman loaf pan.

Since he’s a very well-known chef, and one with an excellent reputation, I figured I’d bake his version. I didn’t realize it was so time-consuming. Whatever. Its fun to make—AND I got to use my Pullman loaf pan for its original intent!

As luck would have it, I happened to have cake flour in the pantry. His recipe calls for both regular and cake flour.

Ingreeds in place.

Pullman Loaf Pan generously buttered.

I followed the recipe but was a bit concerned because the dough was pretty loose—but I marched on.

In all honesty, it looked more like cake batter…

Next step was to turn the dough out to a large bowl and let it rise. Easy enough. The rising time is three hours—I would be able to run some errands!

Covered and ready to rise.

I had my sous-chef with me too. Chippy. What a help. He took his place on the loveseat in the sunroom. Was he waiting for me to drop various ingredients on the floor so he could be my little janitorial assistant? No. He wasn’t.

His Royal Highness waiting for a crumb?

Instead, every time I used a paper towel he would wait for my back to be turned and he would raise himself on his two hind legs, grab the paper towel, play with it a bit and eat it. And I wonder why I go through paper towels with the speed of a pre-menstrual woman who is running for a chocolate bar.

He just wants to eat used paper towels……

He is making a feast out of this–at least it’s organic!

While the dough was rising I thought it would be a good idea for me to actually get dressed. There were a couple of errands to run and my chic ensemble of pajama bottoms and a sweatshirt were in desperate need of laundering. Ever the procrastinator, the two of us enjoyed some time out on the deck before we headed into the car.

With an ABBA CD pumped on “11”, (Oh and I sing along too. With emotion!) the windows of the car rolled down so Chippy could feel the wind in his hair, we were two happy souls finally enjoying the first warm day of the year. Hell to the yeah—I even wore flip flops! The feet need some airing out after being stuck in shoes and mostly boots for the past four months!

First Flip-flop day of the year! No coat either! I need a pedi and a spray tan so badly!

Back home to part two of the Brioche. I had to take it out of the fridge after letting it sit for three hours. Then I had to fold it over to get the air bubbles out, put it back into the fridge and let it sit overnight.

The Brioche has risen—and doesn’t look like cake batter anymore! Yay!

Turned out and ready to fold over and get rid of air bubbles!

Am I the only one who gets a mess all over? Check out the counter behind my hand. Dough!

Here’s where I changed it up. I didn’t let it sit overnight. Tomorrow Paul is coming to replace a broken drawer in our kitchen. So…I baked the brioche this evening. While Bonaparte and I were having dinner, I baked three tiny brioches in little mini brioche pans and they turned out great.

Aren’t they cute? They were little “test” brioches. I finally had a use for my mini brioche tins!

This recipe is definitely a keeper. I baked the brioche in the Pullman pan, took it out and it’s just as it should be!

Fresh from the oven. Not bad for a first attempt!

Cooling off

I had to take a sliver of a slice to try it. With Lemon Curd. Heaven!!

Not wanting to wait until Saturday to try it (What if it didn’t turn out that great? How could I serve it?) I cut off the end—a sliver actually, and added a schmear of Lemon Curd. (It’s ok. I only had 7 boiled shrimp and a half an avocado for dinner. No lunch either). Greatness! The brioche is rich and has a subtle sweetness so the curd was a perfect match!

Look. I’ve even got the table linens at the ready. See? My intent was to get some “Easter-ish”, pastel-colored linens. Then I realized something. I despise pastel colored anything. Why would I get pastel table linens??? Besides that, Bonaparte suggested I use what we already have.

I’m very much into the red and white look!

Since red is my favorite color, the colors will be red and white. (I hope it isn’t too Christmassy). I love white china against bright or dark colored placemats and tablecloths. Also—spilled stuff doesn’t show up as much.

My sloppiness knows no boundaries though. Yesterday I ironed all of the napkins—today; I got a spot of brioche dough on one. Oh well, that’ll be my napkin.

The picture sucks–sorry. See that out-of-focus spot? Brioche dough!

In keeping up with being frugal, I repurposed some flowers. We both love having fresh flowers in the house. Flowers make everything cheery! Anyway, Bonaparte bought some new flowers today because the ones we had were looking a bit…um…dead. But some of them were still ok. I just cut the bottom of the stems, put ’em in a different vase and placed it in the sunroom. Voila! More cheeriness!

Repurposed flowers!

New flowers. Cheeriness!

We also ended up with a twin for the palm plant. Things are looking brighter!

Cute-right? We still need to paint!

Well, I’m on an ABBA Kick—here’s one of my personal favas! “Chiquitita”!

XOXOXOXO!

Posted in "Chiquitita". Thomas Keller Bouchon Brioche Recipe, Abba, Dogs who eat paper towels, Table Linens | Leave a comment

Atypical 60

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. TODAY I AM 60!

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Versatile Blogger Award

Sunshine Blogger Award