Pity Party Time Everyone! I just chilled the Champagne!
Yeah. Tonight I’m having the bubbly for a Pity Party!
I got fired!
The past two positions I held were positions in which my administrative skills were used to their fullest advantage. However, both companies that I worked for closed their doors. It doesn’t hurt so much when a company folds or cuts back. You know that job loss is through no fault of your own.
But when your employer calls you into their office, closes the door and sits across from you, not behind their desk, and starts talking in a monotone, like Miss Clavel of the Madeline books states, “Something is not right!”
The second my new, and I might add, rather nice, boss took me into her office and closed the door behind me, I knew something was not right!
My new job seemed to be going really well. I seemed to be getting along well with my co-workers and liked them. I had a good feeling that we were going to be a stellar team. I caught onto the administrative tasks very easily. I had no issue learning their computer programs too! Actually, it was fun!
After two weeks of being told I was doing a great job, I felt good. I had, in my memory, a good deal of the tour memorized. I was looking forward to assisting as a tour guide! I even did a great job of driving the tram on my practice runs! Helping with the tours would be a great side task of my administrative duties! And it would allow me to be the center of attention. We all know that I love attention!
In my mind, I imagined myself to be the best administrative assistant of all time! I would try to enter every single contact onto a listing for future mail merges. I would organize my entire area so that everything could be within reach. I would be able to compose fantastic correspondence! But most of all, I would be a part of an exuberant and exciting team!
Um….I guess I was being delusional. Again!
I didn’t “pass” the task of phone sales and bookings.
I’m not used to “sales”. I’m not like THIS guy, but I’m just not sure of myself after just a couple of days! I may be a quick learner for many things, but I needed more phone time!
After a couple of days of phone inquiries and many callers’ questions about the many offerings and pricings that were offered, it was felt I couldn’t quite get the “hang” of the phone sales tasks. I was “let go”. I was “fired”.
Like that bad puzzle piece, that’s me! I’m just not a good fit for ANYTHING!
But instead, was told I wasn’t the right “fit”. I suppose employers need to be politically correct and use phrases that are gentle and kind–such as one not being the right fit. But when you get down to it–it’s being fired!
Hopefully, my next fortune cookie will give me better news!
It is a humbling experience, though to lose a job because of “fit”.
I’m NOT that person who gets fired! “Fired” isn’t part of my track record. Not being a good “fit” is a verbal slap across the face for me. And it stings. And it hurts. And it is emotionally crippling!
Just what do employers truly seek in their staff? My work ethic is great. I arrived early, never made a mad dash for the door and didn’t question working on Saturday. I didn’t even question the large drop in salary. Medical benefits weren’t offered, but I have my Obamacare, so it was cool. I did what I had to do in order to be re-employed. Most days I worked through lunch.
It’s weird. I’m not angry; I’m just sad and perplexed! And I am sad because I really liked the woman I worked for. A lot!
It scares me to think that I was not a good “fit” because I was not able to grasp a task after a couple of days. Is it me? Just where do I belong? Am I that much of a loser because I was let go after two weeks?
I’ll tell you, when I arrived home after being given the heave-ho, I was extremely composed. I was greeted by my little buddy, Chippy. I went upstairs to change. Bonaparte was out with clients so I had the house to myself.
It was awful–having to tell my Bonaparte that I got fired! OMG. I was so ashamed. I got upset when I told Oona too! I cannot even bring myself to tell my sons yet! Waaaaaa!
I called the unemployment offices and as soon as Debbie answered, I started crying and sobbing like a baby who needed a change! That’s when I lost it! Oh my god, I felt like such an ass! But I needed to get that out! The cry made me feel much better!
Every once in a while, you can come across an empathetic soul. Empathy came in the form of Debbie from PA Unemployment. She comforted me, and told me everything would be fine. She said what is done is done so I don’t need to make my eyes red or my nose runny. She explained she was there to help me and would assist me in reinstating my unemployment benefits.
Well, on the positive side, I met my original personal goal of becoming employed before my original unemployment benefits ran out. Now I have a few more weeks of additional benefits.
AND, it’s a good thing I didn’t cancel my hair appointment for this coming Saturday with Adam!
Bonaparte and I will be having a nice trip to France too.
So I’ll channel my inner Scarlett O’Hara and say “After all, tomorrow is another day!”
Scarlett and I are a lot alike! After all, tomorrow ISs another day to start to think about me!
Hey. It’s all good—right? Sure is–now I can get back to my favorite thing–writing in my blog and having fun. And playing with makeup. And packing for my trip!
Oh. And note to self—don’t look for any more positions on Craigslist!
I’m happy I have my blog readers to make me feel I’m worth something! Thanks! XOXOXOXO!
Once again, it’s time to get back to unemployment status and to listen to my favorite unemployment song. Assedic! EEz French–so eet sounz much better!
Now, as you know, I try to keep serious subject matter like religion and politics off of my blog. For me, serious subject matter is female hair loss, sun safety, my jiggly thighs and belly, cooking, and my life with my Frenchman, Bonaparte! Also serious is the proper application of makeup to enhance the youthful beauty of women over “a certain age”! Oh yeah, and my bitching and whining about my former unemployment status was fodder for entertainment too!
I like to keep it fun, happy, and entertaining–especially at the expense of Bonaparte’s sunbathing!
But, I feel the need to weigh in on my opinions of the incestuous sexual molestation that was carried out some years ago by Josh Duggar to his sisters and a guest of their cult family.
Caveat: Before I go any further, you need to know that I abhor the pedophile priests and feel that the Church did not do enough to put these men of the cloth in jail. I am a lapsed Catholic and lapsed due to my divorce. Yet the Church basically just slapped the hands of the deviant priests. I do love me my Saints, though—and Mary. And especially Joseph—he was a totally stand-up guy to marry a woman who got pregnant without being married!! Can you imagine the stigma back in THOSE days? Ouch! Oh. I also have a love of plaid—and white shirts and blazers! That love stems from years of wearing a uniform to school. Lastly, I think Pope Francis is way cool. He could single-handedly change the Church as we know it and change it for the better! OK I’m done with my caveat. Let us continue…
First of all, and I dunno about you, but as little Catholic kids, we were taught that any parts of your body that were covered by underwear (as in underpants, undershirts, and brassieres) were your private parts!God forbid if you touched any of those parts!!!! You would be deemed “dirty” and would be on that straight path to Hell! God forbid anyone else touched your private parts!! That person would be elevated to “filthy bastid pig” status and would have to answer to higher authorities such as nuns and parents—and would be begging to go to jail after a strict dad or mom or sadistic old-school nun got to them!
Never. Ever. EVER. NEVER meet your comeuppance with an old-school, mean nun! Josh Duggar could have used her as a teacher!
I cannot even think of the consequences if a sibling took the liberty to play around with other siblings’ private parts. They definitely would be “sent away” –most likely by ambulance! And, perhaps a parent or two would be arrested for the bodily harm that they would bestow upon their teen aged child for molesting their younger siblings!
Caught messing around? You’ll be headed to a hospital before jail–and in one of these!
My own mother was so determined to protect my body that she made me wear a Miraculous Medal of Mary around my neck when I entered my teens. She told me if I wore Mary’s medal, and I was out with a boy and we started petting, he would see the medal and immediately stop.
..and I still have my Miraculous Medal!
This is true. I cannot make this up! But my point is that my mother was no dope. She knew that when teens went out on dates, there was a lot more than a simple “side hug” going on. (Side hugs in the world of Duggashian are reserved for engaged couples anything more than a side hug is a sin) My parents didn’t shelter us from social situations. We were taught about solutions and how to handle ourselves.
I’m amazed to think that Jim Bob and Michelle were so enamored of playing around with each other’sprivate parts that they just didn’t have the time to teach the end results of those play sessions to their own litter offspring. These idiots never taught respect for their daughters’ bodies to their sons!
Instead these two bozos pontificate about “godliness” by making their daughters dress in matronly “modest” clothing. And their brother still managed to find his way up to his sisters’ “origins of the world”!
The only fundamental belief these two bozos have are that money is their god and fame is all they want. They are the worst example of parenting on earth. Check out their smug faces! Ugh!
I would watch “19 Kids and Counting” on an irregular basis. Honestly, I found them fascinating and not in a good way. I always mistrust people who wear their religious ideologies on their sleeves.
These hypocrites claim to live a good “Christian” life. But they don’t. I’ve seen their show when the family went on “vacations” funded by TLC (The Learning Channel aka Touching Little Children). I’ve observed their social behavior. When they went to New York City, the children behaved so rudely and the parents behaved the same way. All displayed judgmental behavior toward New Yorkers—and when they went to a restaurant with food unfamiliar to them (i.e. no Tater Tots were served), they publicly made faces displaying their rude disgust. The parents never making the slightest move to correct their ill-mannered litter of children. Little nuances like that are telling about their true character.
This family, led by the ever-creepy, Jim Bob with the plastic hair, is filled with hate against anyone who does not share their “Christian” way of life. They hate gays, transgenders, transsexuals, lesbians, bisexuals, Democrats and Catholics. Oh and I shudder to imagine what they would think of my Jewish brother-in-law and my nieces and nephew!
They also hate their daughters because if they LOVED their daughters, they would have never stood for the sexual molestation of their daughters by their son, Josh.
These people are also “pro-life” but only while a fetus is in utero. Once the baby is spit out of the womb, then they really don’t care anymore. It’s obvious in the way Michelle *cough* cares for the kids. (The older sisters are responsible for the younger children. The older girls wash, dress, and educate the younger ones.) That is because as soon as a child is born into the Duggar family, the parents run upstairs and play with each other’s private parts. Never to be seen unless the Touching Little Children aka. TLC channel’s crew is around to film them as a family!
Also disturbing is the Duggar fan base. I’m amazed that women, women, are defending the actions of Josh Duggar and are actually praying that their TV show not be cancelled! These fans pray and say that Josh shouldn’t be judged but he should be forgiven because Jesus saves and Jesus loves and Jesus forgives.
And that got me to thinking about Jesus.
My Jesus is a hippie and hipster!
He had long hair, most likely wore Birkenstocks–unless he went to St. Tropez and picked up a pair of Rondini’s! But he was a cool guy. Go-to-Tees made this design for a shirt–many others feel the same way!
My Hippie/Hipster Jesus is a loving guy. He loves gay people and lesbians and bisexuals and transgender and transsexuals. He loves Democrats and Republicans (yes, and he even loves Boehner and Mitch McConnell — ugh, Jesus really?) My Hippie/Hipster Jesus loves non-Christians. I’m pretty sure he even loves Jell-O molds too! But even though my Jesus can forgive, that doesn’t mean the bad, bad souls are going to be able to gain entrance into his heavenly country club! Uh unh. My Jesus is no moron!
My Hipster Jesus also needs glasses–hey, he’s old and needs to see better. But–he’s not mean and accepts everyone. He just knows the difference between those who live a life as humble, kind and generous people who err and those arrogant, self-righteous, sanctimonious people who use him as an excuse to carry out hate and evil!
I can just imagine the scene when Josh Duggar meets his heavenly maker:
Jesus at the welcoming gates. He’s even got a horn section. Will they be playing “Saturday in the Park”?
Jesus: “Hey Josh. Ya know, what you did to your sisters and that family friend was really bad. It was a crime and a violation of human respect. “
Josh Duggar: (with a smirk on his face). “Jesus, it’s ok. I asked for your forgiveness a long time ago. My fan base prayed. It’s cool”.
Jesus: “Josh. I forgive you. But. Well—Josh, I can’t let you in.” “Sorry, you need to be made accountable for your actions” “You seem a bit…well, dude, you seem a bit smug about this”
Josh Duggar: “Listen, it was a bad “season” of life” (shrugs).
Jesus: ” Josh, man, I gotta send you where the sun don’t shine!” “Oh Josh, get that smirk off your face, will ya?”
Josh Duggar: “Listen Jesus, I may have made a few mistakes like being hateful to a few people, but everyone makes mistakes, right?” “I mean, my sisters–they aren’t important” (shrugs again)
Jesus: “Josh, I got lots of gays up here and lesbians and transsexuals and bi’s and Democrats, and Jews and Catholics” “You hate all those kind souls and they’re my peeps!” “During your stay on earth, you really, really tried to persecute many groups.” “I’ll tell ya, we all heard Adolf Hitler’s soul howling with delight at your actions—all the way up here from down in the firing inferno!” “We couldn’t believe old Adolf could be that loud!”
Josh Duggar: ” Jesus, how can I put this.” “I was just playing doctor with my sisters and our friend.” “My parents were too busy worshiping money and fame and were too busy to explain our bodies to us” (chuckles a bit)
Jesus: “Josh, are you that arrogant and self-righteous that you are lying to my face?”
Josh: (fixes his hair and tries to sneak past Jesus into heaven)
Jesus: “Hey man, no way are you getting in here.” “Listen, you’ll be going to the “Evang”hell”ical section down there.” ” You’ll have plenty of jurisdictions to carry out to keep you busy.” ” You will be seated at the pedophile priest table at the grill for dinner and will have a nice hot coffee with the sexual molesters”. You’re gonna be a popular guy Joshie.”
Josh: (pointing a finger at Jesus while checking out his Iphone) “You’ll be sorry for this Jesus! ” “My fans love me”
Yup, Jesus, you’ll be sorry you sent me elsewhere. Look how popular I am! My Iphone proves it!
Jesus: “Um. No I won’t”. “Hey, give Jim Bob and Michelle a nice big “Hi” from your sisters!” “Safe travel’s dude!” “Your fans are all waiting for you!”
Hey Joshie. No amount of sunscreen will help you where you’re going!
And that’s how I imagine it! Joshie’s final judgement!
I’m hoping TLC does good and never airs another episode of “19 Kids and Counting”. I also hope there are no plans to ever have this hypocritical family on air again. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and these opinions are mine. You may or may not agree, but I have no tolerance for molestation of any kind.
Note to other countries: We Americans are all NOT like this pig. Thank you!
I’ve plenty more to say on this subject but I need to stop now. Here’s a song that Josh should have listened to. If he did, perhaps his hands would have stayed off his sisters and he would have taken care of himself.
Hope everyone has enjoyed this lovely weekend. Lots of fun on this end!
Friday night started off with a bang! My son, Roman, who works doing the cue cards for Jimmy Fallon’s Tonight Show and SNL, had a nice surprise for me. He had his first-ever written joke televised. Here’s a pic of Jimmy Fallon doing the “Thank You Notes” from his show. Roman wrote the Activia joke which garnered quite the loud laughs from the audience. Proud Mom Moment for sure! I just wanted to share without sounding braggy!
I’m so proud of my son’s first-ever televised sampling of writing! *sniff* *sniff*. I hope it is the first of many more!
On Saturday, Bonaparte and I were invited to a gathering at my new boss’s home! It was a delightful time, and I was extremely happy to be included in the festivities. I have to say, as new hire, that small gesture of an invite meant a lot to me. It was a form of acceptance—and who doesn’t want to be accepted? Right? It was nice!
I made Momofuku Milk Bar Corn cookies to bring to the party—and a trip back to NYC is needed because my supply of dehydrated corn powder is running low!
A perfect batch. Nice, big and chewy….
I even placed the cookies in nice boxes and tied with a red, white, and blue ribbon!
You know what I also did? I made ice cream. Actually, it was an attempt that proved to be successful. Bonaparte was complaining, as is the nature of his Frenchness, about the sub-par quality of the brands that he gets in the supermarket. He loves ice cream and can enjoy it without worrying about his waistline! Anyway, I made two kinds: Banana and Dulce de Leche. I followed no formal recipe but here’s what I did:
Dulche de Leche: I poured about two cups of heavy cream into a heavy pan that I placed on the stove. Into that I poured about a 1/2 cup of almond milk, two egg yolks, some vanilla and about a cup or a bit more of brown sugar. I cooked it, stirring constantly, but stirring very slow, until it bubbled and thickened. I poured the hot mixture into a plastic Tupperware container and cooled completely before covering and placing in the freezer. The result? Dense and creamy and flavorful ice cream.
Dulce de Leche. The little flecks of vanilla made the flavor more intense. It turned out so creamy and delish!
Banana: I followed the above steps. HOWEVER, I used regular granulated sugar instead of brown sugar. I also mashed up two bananas and added it to the other ingredients then proceeded to cook. The result? Not as “creamy” as the other, but still, extremely dense and flavorful. I have to play with this recipe. Bonaparte loved the dulche de leche and liked the banana. All in all, a success!
Not as dense, but nonetheless, nice banana flavor and very light! But–room for improvement!
Early yesterday morning, a short time after our morning coffee, Bonaparte made a bee-line for the deck. Not a cloud in the sky. The sun, hot but not stifling. All in all, a beautiful morning to just relax, soak in the sun (with sunscreen, of course) and wear off the slight hangover from mixing Kir Royales and red wine of the previous evening’s dinner.
Bonaparte is extremely content to laze on our deck on a dopey looking mattress. The kind you place over those over-priced wicker chaises. He throws a towel over an eye-sore of a padded mattress and basks in the sunshine. (In these summer months I should be referring to him as Le roi-Soleil The Sun King).
Bonaparte, the Sun King. He was not ” ‘eppy” with my snapping this pic but that mattress and the towel. Ugh!
Oh. And he drags this monstrosity to the shore. Yes. He does!
As for me? No can do the mattress on the floor of the deck. We have deck chairs, and we have those folding chairs that we bring to the beach. I’ll throw a towel on the sand, and I’m fine. The pliable sand can conform to my body’s many curves. But, on regular land, I need one of those folding chaise lounges. We didn’t have any.
So—I decided to run to Walmart to buy one. At 9:00 on Sunday morning. The second I got into the car, I realized that Target is just up the road. I figured I could get a nice chaise at Tar-zhay. I was wrong. After heading to the “outdoor” furniture section I was welcomed by empty racks and shelves. Barren of most of their summer items, the area resembled the infamous Lilly Pulitzer roll-out after the first five minutes. And you know what that was like!
Remember THIS from the infamous Lilly Pulitzer for Target rollout? Their summer furniture department resembled this scene! No chaise for me–so onto the chaise chase!
The small choice before me was an overpriced chaise for $79.00. It didn’t even have padding. Much of the time spent at Target was browsing through items that I certainly did not need. A complete waste of time.
Back into the car for the five-minute drive to Walmart.
I arrived at the Walmart at approximately 9:35 AM
I headed to the outdoor section of the store. Abound with outdoor plants, barbeque sets of all sorts, lots of outdoor furniture, both higher end (for Walmart pricing) and affordable, I was confident that my purchase would be complete in no time.
Lo and behold, I found a display of beautiful and inexpensive chaises. I could not keep my eyes off of the one red, tan, and white plaid-ish, old school woven chaise. At $25.00 each, a great buy. I grabbed two. I also remembered that I needed some hair equipment. So off I went to the Walmart beauty aisles.
The very much recalled chaise. There were at least a dozen of them displayed on the floor. This was the only pic I could find. Can you believe this?
Items in cart, I sauntered over to one of the two cashiers whose registers were opened. It was now 9:55 AM.
Quickness is not part of the Walmart culture. After waiting on the line for ten minutes, the cashier, who was very pleasant, scanned my hair items and bagged them. She then went on to scan my chaises. Nothing came up except “Do Not Sell”. I mentioned that perhaps I needed to go to the outdoor area to pay for them. She yelled over to a passing manager. He explained that the chaises were recalled and could not sell them to me.
I told him I found them on display and that I really wanted them because they would match my “deck’s décor” and I promised I would not sue should I become entangled in the chaise.
He said, once again, they were recalled.
Stubborn as I am, I went back to the outdoor area. I may have had my hair items in tow, but I wasn’t leaving that store without my chaises.
I found two more and went on the ever-growing line at the outdoor cashier’s. Again. Quickness is not a part of the Walmart culture. By the time I reached the head of the line, I could have gone through menopause—TWICE!
As luck would have it, once more the “Do Not Sell” came up as Speedy Alka-Seltzer scanned the first chaise. The outdoor manager came over and gave me the same scripted speech that the indoor manager gave me.
Again, I asked “Why do have these on display if they are recalled?” Mr. Rhoades Scholar just gave me a quizzical look—as though I was not too bright for even inquiring.
I then asked, “Well, do you have any inexpensive chaises?” ” Ones that aren’t recalled, perhaps?”
He pointed to the back of the aisle.
In a pile, I found them. Two rather cute little low-to-the-ground chaises. Navy Blue fabric (which seemed more like rubber) with the word “Reserved” displayed in bright white lettering. Thank God those letters didn’t spell out “Recalled”! The steel body of the chaises was painted a bright white as well. Very cute. The pricing $19.96. I purchased two and was on my merry way.
FINALLY! I found two of these chaises that were not labeled “recalled”. Instead, they were labeled “Reserved”. A decent buy at $19.96 each!
What could and should have taken me a half hour tops, took me two hours. I arrived home at 11:00.
Enough time to enjoy an hour of sun time!
And that is how a small part of my Memorial Day weekend was spent!
So let me get move onto my summer essentials—or at least the ones I picked up at Walmart yesterday.
The hair essentials. We all know that summertime can wreak havoc on the hair. I try to pull my hair back and off of my face as much as possible during these heat and humidity filled months.
Tortoise shell clips (faux tortoise shell please!): I picked up this pack of four tortoise shelled clips. If I want to wear my hair down, I’ll still do a “pouf” atop the crown (with the small amount of hair that’s left). Was a time when these clips wouldn’t even hold a handful of my thick hair. Now—they hold plenty.
The faux tortoise shell is a great match for any outfit!
Small bobby pins: When I wear my hair “loosely” pulled back and to the side, these little babies are great for holding strands that would naturally fall from my hair tie in place. The grip is great! Also, and this is by no means something you should do. I happen to use these little pins for applying glue to my fake lashes. I “open” the bobby pin up and use the ends for application. Works like a charm!
A great bargain at $1.96 and more uses than just keeping hair in place!
Black fabric hair ties: I like these because they don’t “pull” on my hair. They are pretty much hair friendly and do a great job of holding the hair in a pony or a bun. The black ones are my favorite because they blend into my own naturally dyed black tresses!
These ribbon elastics are something I’m never without. I’ll even wear one around my wrist–just in case!
Thick hair bands: Also another great way to keep the hair from falling in your face during the hot weather. They are very retro-1960’s and look great when the hair is big and teased!
They also keep the sweat off the face!
Other essentials for summer that I’m not without:
Tight bathing cap: I know. That is so weird, right?—but hear me out. If I go swimming and stay in the water for a really long time, the products I use to cover my hair loss will eventually wash out and I’ll be left with my balding scalp not only for all to gape at, but for the sun to scorch. Putting a bathing cap on not only protects my scalp, but it does keep my hair dry. Trust me, my hair is so incredibly porous that even in the summer months, it takes forever to dry. I would rather be enjoying my time out and about than to be in a bathroom fussing with my hair.
It does protect the hair from the chlorine of the pool and saltiness of the sea!
Sun hat: I purchased this “Skin Cancer Foundation” approved hat shortly after my Mohs surgery. I’ve worn it ever since. It lends itself very well to travel due to its flexibility. It retains its shape after being packed in a suitcase, and it was less than $15.00 at Marshall’s. Hat by Scala. I love it!
I’ve had this for years and love it. Does a great job protecting my scalp and face!
Hair spray: That “halo” of frizz from broken ends surrounding my face and neck sometimes drives me crazy. Especially when I’m aiming for a smooth look with clean lines. Hair spray helps so much. I like it better than gel because you can just finger-comb the spray out. This brand, Lamaur, which I found at Sally Beauty Supply, is on par with El-Net and tons less expensive!
Excellent dupe for El Net.
Fake Tanner: Need I explain further? We all are familiar with my obsession with the fake tanners. Which reminds me. I need a new supply of TanTowels!
A sampling of my self-tanners. Might I add–Ocean Potion Ever Glow is fantastic. It smells like creamsicles!
Sunscreen/block: Fake tanners don’t protect from the sun. My supply of sunscreen grows from year to year. I like to have enough on hand just in case others may “forget” to bring theirs!
Sunscreen on parade! You can never have too much!
Deodorant: during the summer months, I truly like to carry a travel-sized deodorant in my purse. Those super-hot days—well, sometimes that morning application of deodorant just isn’t enough. Know what I mean?
A permanent fixture in my beach bag–and my summer purses!
My favorite beach bag: Oh boy. I’ve had this super-strength roomy beach bag for years. The beautiful madras plaid fabric used to be so vibrant and deep. However, the sun, the beach, the salt water has taken a toll and faded the fabric. This was probably the best purchase I’ve ever made from J. Crew. Ever!
As a sucker for madras plaid, I HAD to have this the second I spotted it. It has been used on a continuous basis. I LOVE this bag!
The flip-flops and slides: While I realize that a great many people think flip-flops are vulgar and disgusting, I’m a fan. First of all, my feet are always well-groomed and the narrowness of my feet (the only part of my body that is narrow) makes me a perfect candidate for this sort of footwear. Plus, it’s the next best thing to being barefoot! They are comfy and allow my feet to breathe and enjoy the great out-of-doors!
Some of my summer footwear……
..and more that I keep by the front door!
Summer is also a time that I don’t pile on the face makeup. I rarely wear foundation. Being in the sun (with sunscreen) brings out my freckles and I like them! I just do the brows, line the eyes, apply a couple of coats of mascara, wipe a clear gloss over the lips and I’m done.
Minimal makeup and my favorite summer hat. Do you like my hat? (remember that line from one of my favorite books of all time “Go Dog Go”?)
So here’s to the end of a fantastic and fun-filled first official weekend of the summer! And let’s not forget our servicemen and women who have fought to protect us and our country! Thank you veterans!
American cemetery in Normandy, France. I took this photo a couple of years back. It was a moving experience and I thank those who selflessly gave their lives for you and me!
Now that I’m in a grove with the new job, I’ll be posting, once again, on a regular basis! Thanks for your patience everyone! XOXOXOXOXOXOXO!
Here’s one of my favorite lazy summer songs–“Summer” by War! Enjoy!
It’s slightly after 6PM and I’ve been on the phone with Oona happily telling her about my return to the workforce. But, first things first.
I thought, after the Yummie Tummie “Today’s Special” from QVC, that I was finished ordering anything on TV. That was until I saw a Tarte Cosmetics “Today’s Special” early last week.
I couldn’t help myself. I’m a sucker for make up kits and this one is a keeper!
I just couldn’t help myself. Tarte cosmetics has a decent track record for me so I ordered the kit which included the Amazonian clay smoothing balm foundation,
It goes on a lot lighter than this. Also–it doesn’t go on as yellow as it appears!
the colored clay eye shadow quad,
These colors are super pigmented!
the tightlining liner, the Lipsurgence lip cream,
I’m so sorry that the pic is fuzzy but it was early in the AM and, trust me, the tightliner pic didn’t even turn out postable! It’s not bad, I’m going to try this on my cheeks as a blush!
a foundation brush (thankfully, because Chippy ate my other Tarte foundation brush) and
Look to the left. Can you believe it??? Chippy is eyeing this! He thinks its a treat! Um. I don’t think so!
the “Lights, Camera, Lashes” mascara, which I’m a fan of.
A great mascara. I really like Tarte’s Lights Camera Lashes. Excellent stuff!
What better way to start a new job than with a face full of new makeup. Right?
Overall, I’m pleased with the kit. I thought the foundation would be too dark—and I ordered the “light”! It appeared a lot darker in the pan than on the face. Went on nice and smooth and wasn’t drying at all. In fact, it lasted all day—and today was extremely hot and humid!
The shadows have great pigmentation. I was afraid that the dark brown would oxidize into an orangey/brown but it stayed a true brown.
Super-pigmented. This shadow stayed on this dark all day. I just took it off!
The tightlining liner was surprisingly good as well. I had to go with a light touch because the liner is one of those liners that you twist the product and I’m famous for pressing too hard and breaking tips off of applicators such as this. I had no issue.
I was able to tightline really nicely. I’m liking this!
Skipped the mascara because I did the lash extension. But I can vouch that this mascara is great. I’ve gone through three tubes in the past year!
The Lipsurgence was fine. Nothing spectacular, nothing awful. Lasting power was average, but all in all the kit was worth the fifty bucks!
Ready for work. OMG–my eyes are way too puffy due to allergies. Sorry, but what you see is what you get! The foundation blended very well and the lipsurgence looks decent. (Ugh..those puffy pollinized eyes)
Now for the good stuff. My first day on the new job.
It was great. I’m fortunate because I am replacing a wonderful woman who will be leaving due to a move out of state. The last two positions I held, I was thrown into the fire with no training whatsoever. It was a matter of trial and error and figure it out yourself.
My training is proving to be effective and I’m feeling very comfortable with my co-workers and the work. I just had a “feeling” when I went in this morning that everything was going to be fine. I have plenty of information that I need to go over and study and I’m looking forward to having a ton of fun.
This isn’t your regular corporate office. This is different—and different in a great way.
I’m working at American Treasure Tours—it is a museum, tour, treasure chest of Americana spanning from the beginning of the 1900’s and even earlier to the present. The collection is astounding. In addition, there is a music box museum with Nickelodeons, old dance-hall music players…it’s incredible and amazing and not only will I be doing administration work, but I’ll also be utilizing my “talents” *cough* as a tour guide. Oh–and lest I forget to mention the incredible amount of antique automobiles! Here’s the link:
Well, I’m going to fill out some paperwork and relax a bit—I’ll be writing more and, hopefully, be taking some pics for you! Stay tuned…
Oh my. Bonaparte just called. He got into a fender bender, but he’s ok. He’ll be home later! I think a glass of wine should be waiting for him! It will–oh it will. I’m just glad he’s ok!
OHHHH..here’s a little treat to one of the kinds of music that’s available in the music museum. I found it on you tube!
Tomorrow I start my new job. I have lots of emotions running around my little spirit right now. First, it’s like Divine Intervention that just in the nick of time, before my unemployment runs out, I became re-employed. Secondly, although I’m thrilled to be back in the workforce, it stings a bit to take a large pay cut and have no medical coverage provided.
The flip side of that is I already have coverage through Obamacare AND I will still be receiving a salary that is better than the funds I was receiving from unemployment.
Thanks to Obamacare, I AM covered for healthcare.
It’ll be great to have a paycheck again!
In addition, I’m so happy to finally, finally be working with a small group of people that are a true team and work together like a family!
It’s been a long time since I felt that true “team” vibe. My last job was not a team environment at all. It was locked office doors, avoidance and confusion. The small group of people I keep in touch with were the saving grace from that job–my finance peeps and some of the nurses. And they have been extremely supportive and I consider them friends for life!
I’m looking forward to being a part of a team again. It’s been a long time coming!
Tomorrow will be fun and exciting and will be a brand new journey that I am pretty sure I will enjoy to the fullest–it’s sometimes not all about the Benjamin’s.
Sometimes its not all about the money!
It’s about the contributions I can make as part of a team and having fun!!!!!! So–I’m happy!
I also want to thank the group of people who enjoy my blog. You’ve kept me sane for the time I was without a job. You’ve enjoyed my rants, and my musings and my silly stories and less-than-stellar beauty advice! Being without a job made me feel that I’ve lost my purpose in life. Seriously. As an empty nester, it’s bad enough when the kids leave home–then to be without a job–well, it destroys the self-esteem, the ego and at times, your hope.
Thanks everyone. You have no idea how much you’ve helped my sanity during these trying times!
My kids and Bonaparte are my circle of life–and in that circle I’ve welcomed followers and readers of this blog. You make me happy!
You make me happy and I want to do the same and make you happy and keep you entertained, smiling and laughing with and at me!
And because you make me happy, I hope to continue to make you happy in the future!
So–today, I’m taking it easy. I just finished ironing a ton of clothes. What better way to relax before starting a new job than to iron out the wrinkles and smooth shirts, dresses, and pants?? Beats me!
I am going to take my new books of stories, food and recipes out to the deck and study and read them voraciously. Oh..I didn’t tell you!!! Early Friday evening the doorbell rang. The UPS man left a heavy box outside our front door. It was a nice gift from my chef buddy John Folse! He sent me a copy of “The Encyclopedia of Cajun & Creole Cuisine” and a copy of his book “Hooks, Lies and Alibis”.
Filled with history, stories and great recipes. This book is amazing and I’ll be referencing it for years!
Another wonderful book chock-full of more great stories and history. In addition, this has great game and seafood recipes. I’m so excited! I’m also thankful to Chef John Folse!
My love for Louisiana cooking goes back years-and the French influence is great because I know Bonaparte will love the recipes in both books. I’m taking the encyclopedia with me to France because I’ll be doing some cooking and I would love to introduce Bonaparte’s family to some great regional American cooking done with a French touches–among others. Creole/Cajun cuisines are true melting pots of delights! Thanks to John Folse for his generosity once again!
Yesterday I had a pleasant surprise. Bonaparte was out seeing clients so I decided to go to the movies. Oona was visiting a friend and couldn’t make it down for a visit so I went to see Pitch Perfect 2 by myself! Trust me, this was NOT a movie for Bonaparte!
I actually enjoyed PP2 better than the original!
Anyway, I saw a little sign at the box office. Senior discount was 60 years and older. My first -ever “Senior Discount”! I felt like a high school student with senior priveliges! I saved $3.75!!!!
My first-ever Senior discount ticket. And yes. I saved it!
Pitch Perfect 2 did not disappoint. It was a fun movie and Fat Amy still remains one of my favorite characters! Rebel Wilson is great! And Katie Segal, aka Peg Bundy has a small role. I’m not gonna spoil. Just go see it! I came out of the movie and into my car singing. In fact, I think Bonaparte was becoming annoyed with me because during dinner I kept speaking to him in acapella singing!
Hmmmm….perhaps I can find a Senior Acapella group that needs me! Bonaparte said I would be the loudest!
Wrinkles and lines have been earned–I’ve achieved Senior status!
So today, I leave you with some acapella from the original Pitch Perfect because I don’t want to have any spoilers from the second movie! XOXOXOXOXOXO!
It’s that time of year! That time where we are stripped of those layers that kept us warm and cozy during the winter. No more shirts under sweaters under blazers under jackets or coats. No more wool hats, no more gloves. No more socks or boots.
It’s “Barefootin'” time everyone!
All those shoes and I still prefer bare feet!
But it is also time to be safe when you are in the sun. Take it from me. I am of the baby oil and iodine generation. I did very, very bad abusive things to my skin. I baked in the sun for hours and dealt with bad burns and blistering—all to get a great color for the summer.
Yup. I have been this red. Um. Many, many times!
When I broke out, I used a sunlamp to clear the very few pimples I had. I don’t even think sunlamps are sold anymore because they are a danger.
The old sun lamp burnt the zits off–and burned more than that off too!
Back then, though, the dangers of sun damage weren’t really known—except for making your skin look like a leather bag! Ewww!
It would be nice to be a bit tan, but not at the expense of looking like leather!
Growing up on Long Island—well, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Especially in the summer. We were extremely close to the water. Beaches and Fire Island were a stone’s throw away. We were a beach crowd. But, we didn’t know how to protect ourselves.
Growing up on Long Island paved the way for my only wanting to travel close to a beach. This is one of my favorite beaches in France. At least I can sit under the tree for shade!
Five years ago I noticed a “pimple” above my right eyebrow. It didn’t hurt, but the damn thing just would not go away. If I scrubbed my face too much it would bleed and it would never quite heal—remaining a bit on the crusty side.
I only wish that my ever crusty pimple was more like Krusty the Clown–make believe!
After about 6 months of this annoying pimple, I made an appointment with a dermatologist. I was just getting a bit nervous. I had my skin checked and he took a biopsy. He said not to worry. (WHAT ME worry?? The biggest hypochondriac on earth?)
Three days later he called back with the results. The “pimple” was squamous cell skin cancer. I freaked. I really freaked. He referred me to a plastic surgeon that would perform Mohs surgery on me. I swear I thought I would lose my face. I was such a lunatic that the good surgeon moved my appointment date up from later to sooner because I was crying and convulsing on the phone to his staff!
Little chart of Mohs. Trust me, this is the pretty version!
I was extremely lucky. The surgeon advised me that, depending how deep the squamous was growing under my skin, I could expect to be in his office anywhere from about an hour to all day. Mohs surgery is scraping the tissue by layer and “testing” it until the skin is rid of all the cancerous layers. My time in surgery was slightly under an hour. But I had a gaping hole in my forehead. I’m thinking the hole in my head made it easier for me to have my head examined.
Bonaparte was great—he changed my dressings until I was finally able to look at it without throwing up—or crying hysterically because of what I had done. Yes. I am the one who is completely responsible for ruining my skin in the sun.
But the damage is done so moving on, I no longer “bake”.
Hey Mr. Sunshine. I love ya, but I cannot take your hotness anymore!
I “fake”!
The Jergens Natural Glow, both the Instant Sun and their regular Natural Glow, Tan Towels, and the best bronzer for the face–Wet n’ Wild. All give me that *cough* “healthy” glow and help to keep me from looking too pale in the summer!
Dear friends—you know how much I love my fake tan! But I love the beach too. These days, I sit under an umbrella when we’re down the Jersey Shore and any beach I visit!
You will find me reading a book or doing crosswords under one of these!
I’m also slathered in sunscreen. And I’ll curse like a sailor when the sunscreen gets in my eyes—but it’s still better than more Mohs!
I’m also diligent about my annual purchase of Sephora’s Sun Safety Kit. The cost is $32.00 and $20.00 from each kit sold is donated to the Skin Cancer Foundation. It is worth every cent!
Front View, all housed in a cute case that is great to use as a travel make up bag!
Back View. Look at all the goodies!
The 2015 Sun Safety Kit goes on sale next week at Sephora stores, but I was fortunate to purchase mine today! It is filled with great stuff. It’s got:
Amorepacific Sun Protector. At 5ml it is a very small tube. SPF 30, it is a great addition to that little makeup bag in the purse or a drawer in your office. It feels very light. I’m happy to try it because it could lead to a purchase of the larger size.
Clarins UV Plus Anti Pollution Broad SpectrumSPF 50. At 10 ml the tube has a bit more product. It goes on very, very lightly and feels silky. Although I think Clarins products are very expensive, this little tube can be good for the face and will last a weekend if need be.
Clinique Moisture Surge CC Cream. I tried a bit on my wrist. Very dark. It also felt somewhat dry, but then again, I’ve never had much luck with Clinique foundations, or their BB or CC creams. I’ll give this to Oona. She does well with Clinique and I want her to be sun safe (she is though—so much smarter than her helicopter mom).
St. Tropez “One Night Only” Wash Off Face & Body Lotion in Light Medium. It’s actually more of a gel consistency and looks super-dark as soon as you squeeze it out. But it goes on much, much lighter and isn’t greasy or filmy. It also smells very nice. This is going to be used a lot on my face. I’ll be sure to post a pic. Maybe I’ll use it tomorrow.
Peter Thomas Roth Max Sheer All Day Moisture Defense Lotion. Hands down, this is one of the best facial moisturizers I’ve ever used in my life. I’ve already gone through two of the full sized ones and I have a couple of these “travel” sizes. A little goes a long, long way and I always make sure I have one of these babies stashed with my travel makeup. I cannot live without this! It’s SPF 30.
Dr. Jart+ BB Beauty Balm SPF 45. This is a super small travel size. 5 ml. In the past, I’ve purchased Dr. Jart’s BB and was happy, but it is pricey. A little goes a long way, and I think this is great to place in the purse in case you need a small touch up during the day. I would also use this on a weekend getaway as the tube would get you through three days easily.
Josie Maran Argan Daily Moisturizer SPF 47. SPF 47 strikes me as a rather odd number, but any sampling I’ve had of Josie Maran’s has been decent. 15ml of product in a nice little pump jar. This travel size is going to last a while. The product is thin and goes on nicely and it appears that just a bit will be needed. Methinks this will be a hit with me!
Dr. Dennis Gross Dark Spot Sun Defense SPF50 Sunscreen. 7ml. According to the site, reduces the appearance of those dark and pesky sun spots and evens out skin tone. We’ll see. All I care about is the SPF, I’m not looking for magic. My concealer will reduce the appearance of any spot I have.
Origins VitaZing SPF15. Ok. There isn’t a lot of SPF going on here, but I’m intrigued. This little 15ml tube seems to have a nice moisturizer with a bit of a “glow”. The product looks very light and is a sheer tint release. It may be good as a luminizer. I’ll play!
Korres Yoghurt Nourishing Fluid Veil Broad Spectum SPF 30 Face Sunscreen. Thankfully, it doesn’t smell like yoghurt or I would want to eat it. Can you imagine? If I was hungry enough at the beach and it smelled that good, I’d Ingest. The 10ml tube is cute, but I do find Korres products to be extremely expensive.
Supergoop! Anti-aging UV Damage Repair Complex City Sunscreen Serum. The name Supergoop kills me! It’s so cool. Their site says that it can be used as a primer for the regimen of your day. I’m going to try using this as a backup primer for travel. It can’t hurt. I like the fact this is also an extremely light product. The SPF is 30 so that’s a good thing! It’s a “Supergoop” thing!
Murad Invisiblur Perfecting Shield SPF 30. A protecting primer. Again, you can never have enough of these little primers. I think they are perfect travel mates and allow you to leave the large size at home. I’m not familiar with Murad products, although I see them on the infomercials all the time. It’s probably decent enough.
Vita Liberata Passion Flower & Argan Dry Oil Broad Spectrum SPF 50. 10ml of product in a slender pump. I pumped some on my hand and it wasn’t dry. It was wet. But, it dried extremely quickly in a non-filmy way. I think this would be good on the face or body apres sun to give a nice luminescence. We’ll see. I checked Sephora’s site and the 100ml size is $45.00. I think that’s pricey—it may be too pricey for me.
Olehenriksen Total Truth Eye Cream SPF15. I like the idea of an eye cream being included in this kit. My issue with eye creams containing SPF is should it get in my eyes, it stings like a ………. (Fill in the blank). I’ll try it though!
Fresh Sugar Lip Treatment SPF15. I’ve already gone through two tubes of this. I do like this. A tube is kept in my beach bag and I apply during the day, trying to keep it in a shady spot or it’ll get all melty and soft. This is a good product. I like the Fresh brand. If you ever see any of the Fresh Citron de Vigne fragrance or soap or body lotion, treat yourself. It smells so clean and….well, fresh!
Shiseido Ultimate Sun Protection Cream SPF50+ Wet Force Broad Spectrum Water Resistant (80 Minutes) Sunscreen. Wow! That was a mouthful! This is interesting because it is supposed to work even better after 15 minutes in the water. It’s $36.00 for 50ml or 2 oz. I’ll have to try this 15ml size.
I can’t wait to try the St. Tropez “One Night Only”. It’s a generous size too!
The Vita Liberata Dry Oil is very intriguing to me!
Everything in this pic is a winner. I LOVE the PTR Moisture Defense and am a regular user. The travel size is priceless!
Bottom left is the Murad primer. It looks pretty decent. All in all, this is a great way to try different sun protection items!
All in all, it’s a good bunch of stuff and part of the fun is trying out all the cute little trial/travel/sample sizes. The carry case is also great for using as a little toiletry or makeup case for travel!
Get your body ready for that fun in the sun! CAVEAT-I am not getting paid for shilling this. It’s just near and dear to me because I had that skin cancer and I really, REALLY protect myself now.
In fact, I was shitting bricks earlier this week because I had my six-month check up. My skin is fine and my dermatologist said my skin actually looks great! Thank you Jesus!
So stay safe this summer and protect your skin. I don’t want anyone running around with “Mohs Holes” on their faces or anywhere else on their bodies!
Enjoy one of the best summer songs of all time! Mongo Jerry’s “In The Summertime”
A couple of readers are curious as to how Bonaparte and I came to be a couple and I thought it would make for a fun post so here goes! I hope you enjoy….
Joséphine de Beauharnais and Napoleon Bonaparte
Seriously Josephine. Get outta my way. The Frenchman is mine!
The story of little loud-mouthed girl from New York and baguette loving little French Parisian boy….
My divorce wreaked some havoc—especially havoc in the form of a horrific financial downfall. My oldest son was away in Austin at University of Texas. My middle son, my daughter and I were now housed in a small apartment. I may have lost our home, but at least there was a roof overhead.
It wasn’t easy. The water and electricity were constantly being shut off—so much so that the staff at Trenton Water Authority knew me by my first name. But—they were always pleasant and I always managed to scrape up enough cash to have the water put back on. Ditto the electricity.
I’ll skip some other bad stuff that I don’t want to get into. But—after a while, it was time to get back on the social train. I was signed up for a “trial” of 30 days on “Match.com”. I had two meetings over coffee, but just figured I was better off alone. Anyway, a couple of days before my “trial” ended, I figured I would peruse through the pickin’s.
Yes. We met on Match.com!
I stopped at a picture of a man in a light blue crew-neck sweater. I could tell it was wool and not polyester—that grabbed my shallow attention. Then I noticed this gentleman’s eyes were as blue as the color of the sweater. This gentleman appeared to be very distinguished. Something I was not. In fact I was sitting at the computer in granny pants and an old, holey T-Shirt.
I then went on to read his profile. He liked art (check); New York City (check, check, check); fine food (sorta check—I was cooking for teens but I love me a great and fancy meal!) and tennis (uncheck). OK –so three out of four wasn’t bad.
I love art..especially Renoir, so it was a good thing Bonaparte had a good appreciation–I mean, he’s French afterall…..
Given the fact he loved my home town, was also a plus!
Then I noticed where he was born and raised. Paris, France.
I had heard that Parisians were the rather “difficult” of all the Frenchmen–and women!
Oh.
Now, you need to understand something—I fed into that whole “Oh-the-French-hate-Americans” thing. Yes. After 9/11 I had a propensity to refer to “French Fries” as “Freedom” fries.
Yup! I don’t necessarily like fried potatoes, but I did refer to them as “freedom” fries. These days I just call them “Frites”!
I learned every single stereotypical image about the French from cartoons and TV shows.
Yes. My educational on French stereotypes were from “great” sources…
…although sometimes Pepe Le Pew is easier to understand.
However, something inside me, perhaps it was the contrarian or the curiosity, made me write a little blurb to him. It went something like this:
“So, you like art. Impressionism? It’s my fave. I love Renoir. You like NYC? I lived there for many years!” “You got an accent?” (THAT was a dopey question)
He wrote back. We spent a bit of time writing back and forth. I finally wrote to him that my “trial” was about to expire and I gave him my email address and told him to just shoot me an email.
We emailed back and forth and he asked me for my phone number. I gave it to him. He called. He had a very heavy accent that was somewhat hard to understand. But, we kept talking.
He asked me out—that last weekend of November 2004. Actually, Thanksgiving weekend. I explained to him that I could not make it because my daughter had a regional Irish Dance competition in Philadelphia and would be busy from Thanksgiving evening through that Sunday. (Yay! Party time at the Mid-Atlantic Regional Oireachtas!) Anyone involved in Irish Dance is fully-aware that you never make plans that conflict with those Thanksgiving weekend regionals!
Irish Dance competitions, especially the Oireachtas, takes top priority. Over EVERYTHING!!! (spoken like a true dance mom)!
He asked if I wanted to meet him the following Friday. Friday, December 3rd, 2004. I nervously agreed. It was just easier talking on the phone and emailing than having to get all dressed up, and trying to look “pretty” and worrying how I looked, and did I look too fat…yada yada yada.
We both wanted to keep things casual so we met on somewhat safe and common ground. We met at The Marketplace in Princeton. The Marketplace was a smaller mall, and in that mall were many stores I frequented! (I spent many a rainy summer day there when the kids were young). In addition, I felt comfortable there. I figured if things turned sour, I could always use some retail therapy—and spend money I didn’t have.
I spent a lot of time, and money I didn’t have at this Princeton Mall. It was a safe place for our first meeting!
It was easy to spot Monsieur Bonaparte because, luckily, he looked just like his photo. In fact, he looked very nice. Until I noticed what he was wearing on his feet. A FRENCHMAN wearing TENNIS SHOES???? Yes! I was shocked. As much as I fed into the “anti-French” propaganda, the one thing I did have in common with the French was the disgust of white tennis shoes and/or sneakers. In my most humble opinion, tennis shoes belong on the tennis court and only on the tennis court. The sneaker thing—only a few types of sneakers get my stamp of approval. Chuck Taylors and old-school Keds. End of story.
Was Bonaparte REALLY French–or was he faux-French. What self-respecting Frenchman would wear these on a DATE????
I become physically upset when I see tourists wearing white tennis shoes/sneakers, heavy ankle sport socks and ill-fitting shorts with t-shirts—especially when I see this kind of attire in a large city. It was bad enough for me to be seen off the courts with someone wearing these hideous shoes!
Those tennis shoes had my red flag at half-mast.
My red flag was at half-mast. Uh Oh!
As Bonaparte was not familiar with the Princeton area, so we took my car and we drove down Route 1 just a bit to grab a bite to eat at The Princetonian Diner.
Best diner in the Princeton area! The burgers and “freedom” fries are delicious!
Bonaparte had his red flag at half-mast upon entering my car—which, by the way he later deemed as the messiest car he had ever been in. I don’t even it being a mess except for a few pieces of sports equipment that belonged to the kids. The car wasn’t that bad. I mean really; he actually thinks he saw papers strewn on the floor!
My oh my. Bonaparte had HIS red flag at half mast after seeing the inside of my little green Cavalier. Now we were even!
Wait. It gets better. After having a quick bite at the diner, Bonaparte asked me if I wanted to drive across the road to check out furniture at Ethan Allen and Domain. (I thought he was moving a bit fast!). It turned out his daughter was moving into a new place and he wanted to check out furniture for her.
Imagine that! This helicopter mom met her helicopter dad!
Get rid of those red flags. Helicopter Mom has met her true match..
The French version of the Helicopter Dad!!!!
We actually had a pretty good time checking out all that furniture—it seemed that we both had pretty much similar tastes!
Surprisingly, all the sofas and loveseats in our home are white and slipcovered! Who knew?
A stop at Starbucks ended our first “date” *giggle* *giggle*
A delightful end to our first date was a stop at Starbucks!
We have been together since that first date–but there’s more so read on…
Shortly thereafter, Bonaparte administered a “test”, unbeknownst to me. The test was disguised as a movie and dinner date. He was to cook dinner for me after seeing a “surprise” movie.
When I arrived at Bonaparte’s home, he was ready to leave. (*NOTE: Bonaparte is ALWAYS on time. Worse yet, he’s early. I am always late with the exception of doctor’s appointments, air and train travel. That’s it.) I think I may have been a couple of minutes late because he was not smiling. Oh wait. He’s French!
To lighten things up, I asked him “Why do you always wear those white tennis shoes? You’re supposed to be French! I thought the French had better taste in footwear?” “They really are not attractive!” (He didn’t realize I had a “thing” about footwear).
Embarrassed, he took the fugly tennis shoes off and changed into the classy, chic, European loafers, that he should have been wearing in the first place.
He also explained “Ah em so embarrahrrrazzz.” “Ah soughs zhat Americanzzz loved zuh tennis shuz.” “Ah em zoo ‘eppy ow don’ lek zhem.” “Ow ahr lek zuh Fra’shhh. Ow spek ur meen”.
(Translation: “I thought that Americans loved the tennis shoes. I am so happy you don’t like them. You are like the French. You speak your mind.”)
Score one for me!
While on the way to see the movie, he wouldn’t budge when I asked him whatmovie we were seeing. Instead, I hounded him about dinner. He was making roast chicken, French style. He then started talking about the various courses. He explained that we were having , in his words
“Pate and Cornish hen to start” He explained in his heavy accent.
I asked him why we were having Cornish hen before having chicken.
He knew I love a good meal, but Cornish Hen as a starter? Whoa–I’m not that much of a little piggy!
He was becoming frustrated “Cornish hen..wizz mutar!!!”
Sensing his frustration, I started to laugh and asked why he was getting so upset.
Bonaparte: “Ow no zouz gren zings zhewish pip-ul et?” From zuh bar’rel?”
(Translation: “You know those green things jewish people eat? From the barrel?”)
Me: “Yeah. You mean pickles??”
Bonaparte: “Oui.” Cornish hen ahr leedul peekuhls”.
Thus, I found out what “cornichon” were! Years later, I still cannot understand everything he says!
This is what the “Cornish hen” was! Oops!
The movie turned out to be “A Very Long Engagement”. A World War I epic of love and the search for a loved one. It starred Audrey Tatou and Gaspar Uliel as the doomed but engaged lovers, Mathilde and Manech. I loved this film. In fact, to this day it remains one of my faves!
I outsmarted Bonaparte! He had no idea I was a fan of French cinema!
This film turned out to be the “test”. Apparently, Bonaparte was unsure of a long-term relationship if I didn’t like French film. What he didn’t realize that I had been a fan of French cinema since my early twenties. Living in Manhattan gave me the opportunity to enjoy many French films. I was especially fond of Francois Truffaut, Louis Malle, Jean Renoir and Eric Rohmer. (Also..Bonaparte’s uncle, Yves Robert! Bonus!!!)
After expressing my disgust at this ridiculous test, I scored another one for me!
I guess the French are just more pragmatic in their relationship thinking! They judge compatibility by film and food!
We’ve had ups and downs, but mostly ups. We have fun and enjoy each other and balance each other very well. It’s nice!
I even introduced Bonaparte to selfies!
Bonaparte wasn’t used to divey bars in NYC until he met me! Here we are waiting for my son Roman’s band “Bad Man Yells” to begin playing. My oldest son Jake is with us. This is from 2010!
In Long Island. November 2011 at a family wedding (my side)!
So that’s it. Here’s a link to an article I wrote in “FrenchEntree” about my first attempt at making a nice French dinner for Bonaparte. It started out as a complete disaster but it really is a fun read:
It’s pretty common knowledge that I enjoy cooking and baking. Given the fact my better half, Bonaparte, is a Frenchman, he is the Gallic essence of the saying “The way to a man’s heart is to his stomach”. Caveat on that saying, the stuff that is going through his tummy into his heart had better be delicious and well-prepared.
I can turn these little crawlers into tasty and garlicky Escargots….
I can also turn these little hippity-hoppers into a sautéed delight!
And there’s the French Grand Marnier Souffle dessert! I’ve had to practice with all!
I believe that a lot of reaching your goals of perfection or near perfection with the art of cooking lies in both trial and error and a determination to “get it right”. That isn’t to say cooking should be not be a chore nor should it be daunting. It should be fun and relaxed.
In my own experience, I grew up not cooking anything at all. My mother got really scared whenever I expressed a desire to assist her. She would chase me out of “her” kitchen with one of her many, yet unbroken, wooden spoons! Her fright was validated when, one Thanksgiving, she actually allowed me to help. She told me to take the pumpkin pie out of the oven. In my glee of being able to finally get my hands on at least one kitchen duty, I forgot, it never occurred to me to use oven mitts to remove the freshly baked pie! My palms were burnt, the pie fell to the floor, and I got in major trouble for ruining part of the Thanksgiving dessert and was run out of the house. It was actually a pleasure to place my palms on the cold lawn, and when I was called back into our house; my mother had a bowl of ice at the ready for me. (Glory be to God—we did go through quite the amount of ice cubes—especially with my “gift” of unintentional self-mutilation!)
Ice was kept mostly for wound reasons than to keep drinks cold!
I wasn’t to cook again until I was on my own. I can actually thank my ex-husband for that. Mentioning that I was a lousy cook, he stated “If you can read, you can cook”. That one sentence had me reading studying voraciously, “The Joy of Cooking”. Irma Rombauer taught me the elementary basics.
I’ve gone through two copies. The third copy is still in an unpacked box!
Irma and Marion at a book signing. A long time ago!
From then on, I started to amass quite the cookbook collection.
A small portion of my collection.
St. Ignatius Loyola Cookbook. Early 90’s. My cheesecake recipe is on the top left-hand corner and it is a winner!
A binder full of recipes I found on the internet and from friends and family. It’s a sloppy mess and I had to “erase” random phone numbers from the cover! Oops!
Magret De Canard recipe I found years ago on the net. This is my go-to!
Hands down, this is the best and most frequently used French cookbook I use. I picked it up at Border’s bookstore many, many years ago for about six bucks. It’s even better than my Julia Child books!
This remains the one cookbook that eludes me. I coveted it. My mother-in-law had it and every time we visited, I locked myself in the attic and read it. The old-school charm just floored me. I really wish I had this book!
My travels also guided me in trying new cuisines and really making attempt sat cooking recipes that were so interesting to me!
I love USA regional cooking as well as foreign cooking. It’s all good. Oh. It’s ALL good!
Travels to New Orleans, along with Chef John Folse’s Louisiana style cooking show “Taste of Louisiana” led me on the path to expertise in Creole and Cajun cooking. In fact, John Folse proved to be a man of his word.
(c) 2007 Louisiana Educational Television Authority on behalf of Louisiana Public Broadcasting. All rights reserved.
To this day, I’m STILL crushin’ on my favorite TV chef!
Here’s a great story:
When my son Jake was in third grade, he had to do a report. Each student was given a State and had to research, write and present their report. My son had to report on Louisiana. As part of this report/project, he, helicopter mem, I suggested it would be fun to make New Orleans style pralines for his class. I had a recipe from one of John Folse’s books that looked great.
Ingredients at the ready, I started to make them. Two failed attempts had me perplexed as I followed the instruction perfectly.
I called his restaurant, “Lafitte’s Landing” and left a message. He actually called me back and realized there was a glitch in the recipe. The third time being a charm, I made those pralines and they were a hit with the kids! In addition, Chef Folse and I got to talking and I mentioned the “Steen’s Cane Syrup” being popular with his recipes. I told him it wasn’t available in New York City (this was during the early 1990’s). He asked me for my address. Two days later I received a case of the stuff. I’ve always had a special place for this man ever since!
Those sugary sweet pralines were quite the hit!
Would any celebrity chef these days send some one a case of this? Thank you Chef Folse!
My other prized possession–another gift from Chef Folse. Wait. It gets better…
Years later he still remembered the cane syrup he sent me!
I’ll admit it–I was a chef groupie long before “foodies” came to be!
Besides John Folse’s “Taste of Louisiana”, there were the other cooking shows. The ORIGINAL reality shows!
Does anyone remember the “Great Chefs” series on PBS? I didn’t know what relaxed me more—the laid back vibe of the show or the soothing voice of “Great Chefs'” narrator, Mary Lou Conroy. Mary Lou Conroy’s voice alone could take any stress out of one’s spirit and turn them into a state of complete Zen!
One of the PBS gems!
Trivia time! You may think that Mary Sue Milliken and Susan Feniger got their start as “Two Hot Tomales” on the original TV Food Network. Nuh unh–they were featured on one of the “Great Chefs” episodes and they made a nice spicy turkey dish. I remember it well! Might I add, Susan Feniger has one of the coolest looks for a mature woman. She has a cool/hipster look that fits her so well!
I could so relate to Nathalie Dupree. Her show, also on PBS, taught me some great basics. At times, she could be slightly clumsy, which was incredibly endearing. But—she said something that forever stuck in my mind. While making a pie crust she said that it was better to make your own and further stated that if you mess it up, it’s just flour, water, and butter. Her words were my epiphany of if at first you don’t succeed try again.
Remember Nathalie Dupree? I loved her show and her genteel but sometimes clumsy ways. She was the real deal!
Her book “Matters of Taste” was a staple for me when I was a relatively new cook. Her planned menus were great and simple. She was kind of like a pre-“The Barefoot Contessa”, without the little subplots of life in The Hamptons!
This is a GREAT book filled with easy -to-follow menus.
She is also a gracious woman. I wrote a letter to her decades ago thanking her for her great book and shows and she wrote back! (Some people write fan letters to actors and celebrities. I wrote to chefs—and this was before the chef-as-celebrity days)
Julia Child, Justin Wilson, Jacques Pepin—all kept me well-informed and entertained during those cold winter afternoons and rainy summer days. The days when I didn’t venture outside. All gave me wonderful culinary advice and a free culinary education which proved to be priceless in so many ways!
All informative TV chefs, they paved the way for the new genre of celebrity chefs!
I thank these old-school TV chefs. The chefs who gave true “instructional” hands-on shows.
Food Network, which was launched in 1993, was a great concept—and in the early days was informative and entertaining.
Original and simple logo. My how this network has changed!
These days, the Network is nothing more than cupcake and various other competitions. The few remaining “good” (“good” being pronounced in my Ina Garten voice) shows are relegated to odd times. Although Ima (pun intended) Ina”Barefoot Contessa”Garten fan, many of the “cheflebrities” have become caricatures of themselves.
I’m a fan. Never had a fail with her recipes. She’s a treasure.
Giada with her ever-growing smile and her instance on pronouncing every ingredient with an over-exaggerated Italian accent used to be somewhat shy during her early days. Now I find her a bit annoying.
She’s very pretty but her exaggerated pronounciations drive me “a-lo-co”
Paula Deen morphed from a sweet Southern woman that you would like to have tea and cake with, into an over-the-top, heavily “y’all”ed, over-exposed personality whose artery-clogging food would never make it to my table.
TODAY — Pictured: Paula Deen appears on NBC News’ “Today” show — (Photo by: Peter Kramer/NBC/NBC NewsWire via Getty Images)
Rachel Ray was more tolerant before she became “Rach”.
Ray was far more interesting and subdued in her earlier days.
I cannot even look at Bobby Flay without thinking of Alfred E. Newman.
It would be great if Food Network could return to its original roots.
I’ve jumped ship to The Cooking Channel instead. Only to watch Mo Rocca with the lovely grandmothers in “My Grandmother’s Ravioli”. This concept cooking show is great—maybe not much instruction on the recipes, but it’s just a nice testament to the women who cooked with love and by feel.
This show is so touching that I’ve actually cried. Yes. I’ve bawled like a baby watching this!
“Extra Virgin” is my other fave cooking show.
I never miss an episode! I love Gabriele and Debi!
Two words: Debi Mazur. She is my glamour icon.
attends the 18th Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Award Party at Pacific Design Center on March 7, 2010 in West Hollywood, California.
Debi also needs a beauty show. Please be my friend Debi! Please?
I love watching her cook with her adorable husband Gabriele because when I cook I need to take any clothing item of worth off and replace with old t-shirts and ratty old sport shorts. I am that sloppy!
If I wore a dress while cooking, it would have a similar print–but from stains and spills!
So yeah, I’m guilty of having a few “cheflebrities” on my list—especially Christina Tosi of Momofuku Milk Bar. Honestly, I fear I will be banned from the Milk Bar Facebook page for stalking, if I keep posting my corn cookie pictures and admiration!
My all-time favorite dessert cookbook. Soon I will need a new copy!
My latest Tosi addition. It sits on the coffee table in the sunroom–for easy reading and enjoyment!
All that aside, cooking and baking is truly a form of relaxation for me. I love the process of “gathering” the ingredients. I love watching the motion of the stand mixer, incorporating those ingredients into a soft and luscious batter. I love the process of watching how a raw onion or shallot goes from being opaque to transparent in a matter of minutes. It’s mesmerizing to me and puts me in a happy place! I’m just a woman who enjoys to cook and, naturally, eat!
Hmmmmm…it’s Monday—but I’ll soon have Friday night’s menu on my mind! But wait! That reminds me of a song that has nothing to do with food or cooking…..The Easybeats. Friday on My Mind! XOXOXOXO–enjoy!
Mother’s Day is tomorrow. It’s weird too, because I don’t necessarily think of me on Mother’s Day. (Which is pretty darn unusual since I’m extremely self-centered and the center of my universe!). I think of my mother instead.
My mother, Germaine Gorman Wynne, in better days when she remembered all the awful things we did–and the good things too!
She’s no longer with us. Alzheimer’s took her away—and took her away long before she departed her earthly existence. I really never thanked her enough—and trust me; I definitely gave her quite a few gray hairs on the frosted head of hers!
Here she is with some of the grandkids–isn’t she a young grandmother? I’ll tell ya–she looked great!
I was the challenging one. The one who, at 5 years old, threw her engagement ring in a pile of rocks in the alleyway next to our home in Ozone Park. And yes—I did find it shortly after throwing it, but it hurt to sit for a few days.
I was the “mouthy”—or in nicer terms, the “cheeky” child. The one who got in trouble twice –from any given nun at school and miraculously, again from my mother upon arriving back from school. It was usually for talking in class or questioning the actions from one particularly evil Sr. Mary Josephita.
That’s right–after getting in major trouble from these lovelies, I would get it again from my mom! But–she managed to keep me on the straight and narrow!
I was the one who got drunk at a family party at the young age of 18. Vomiting all over my bed room from too many Singapore Slings.
Ouch–I had many more than just one of these things…..
She never said anything while she cleaned the mess in the room. But when I woke up the next afternoon at 3:00 PM, her only words were “I hope you learned your lesson.” I did.
I didn’t even make it to the bathroom–but she cleaned the mess up and made sure I learned my lesson by being silent and not yelling. I learned my lesson well!
And…who could forget as she, ever-frustrated with me, held ice cubes to my “lady area” after my DIY failed bikini wax! ( In case your memory needs to be refreshed:
I thank her for the values that she gave me—and for the work ethic. I also want to apologize for making her ruin so many wooden spoons!
My grandmother was another woman I miss terribly and wish she were here too! She lived her 98 years in full-circle. Departing on the day she came into this world.
My grandmother, Margaret Crowley Wynne, a very strong force in my life. She is still missed!
She was strong and had a quick mind and was always the voice of reason with her beautiful lilting brogue!
While we were at family parties drinking beer, wine, “Singapore slings”, my sweet grandmother was on the sidelines enjoying her tea–even on a hot summer day!
Enough of the sentimentality. I also want to take the time to celebrate all the moms out there!
Especially moms who try so hard but just miss being perfect—this is for you! Trust me, I will NEVER win a mother of the year award–ever! But–I try hard to be the best mom I can be. Many “Oops” moments, but the kids still love me–and that’s all that counts!
A real Mother’s Day card should read:
Mommy, Mommy, soft and pudgy
You changed my diapers—both wet and fudgy.
You kicked my ass when I was bad
And gave me hugs when I was sad
You cheered me on—even when I lost
You were my support—at any cost
We had our times during good and bad
You were the best damn mom that a kid could have!
My words in a poem!
To those of us who are moms, there were times, I’m sure, when we questioned our mothering ability. I was not a conventional mom. I breastfed my kids until they reached the age of three. Yes. I did! Apparently, unbeknownst to me, this is now called “attachment” parenting. (Everything has to have a label). For me, I was just too damn lazy to wean. I went through my share of public scrutiny from people who couldn’t mind their business. Unfortunately for them, they had no idea what they were up against when it came to me and my big mouth.
I was the one who allowed my children to stay up all hours of the night during the summer. After all, there was no school the next day and summertime is when the kids should enjoy those long evenings. Catching fireflies.
Kids need to spend long summer nights collecting fireflies or just…
Stargazing on the lawn! (pic from Lovethispic.com)
Lying on a soft, grassy backyard and stargazing on a clear night—kids need to see the beauty of the universe. Playing Manhunt and Capture the Flag with their neighborhood friends. (Which I might add the moms of Navesink Drive were most delightfully unconventional in this way as well! Nancy, Margaret, Sandy, Stacey, Dotty,Cathy, Ann and Mags (even though the last two lived on other streets—the most fun moms in Brandon Farms). Not “making” the kids march to bed at the magical hour of twilight—how awful would that be?
Here’s to my NYC bestie, Jeannie. Who raised three great boys! Together we were a great tag team by actually disciplining our children with louder, but firm voices and created exact boundaries of behavior. Trust me that was pretty unconventional mothering within the confines of the “Earth Mother” personalities that we hung with back in the day. I miss our days of loading all six kids in the minivan, heading out to Long Beach and staying there until after rush hour!
Me and Jeannie. Jeannie is one of the best moms I have ever known! Here we are in Inwood Hill Park. Halloween–late 1980’s. That’s fake blood coming out of my mouth–it was Halloween. Oh god, I’m so skinny in that pic.
Here’s to all my Irish Dance mom friends! The moms who gave up many evenings driving the kids to practices; spending weekends at competitions.
To the many moms who put those dance dresses first!
…and spent the time at all those competitions. There are thousands upon thousands of you! You are appreciated! (Take a look at Oona’s face after winning a first place trophy back in the day. She’s with Bernard Hynes, Dublin A.D.C.R.G. I was that embarrassing mom who took these pics when my daughter won!)
The moms who gave up that new pair of shoes and much more in order to spend the money on their competitor instead—between wigs, shoes, dresses, cummerbunds, vests, hotels, gas, entry fees, airfare, and other expenses, you are appreciated! That cost turned your child into a poised and confident adult!
Here’s to the baseball, basketball and soccer moms. Here’s to your fierce determination in getting your child to a practice or game and avoiding a traffic ticket! Here’s to the time spent driving to and from those same games and practices. Here’s to knowing that your children are not roaming around idly. Here’s to you sports mom!
Hey sports moms–you are honored!
We unconventional sports moms allowed our children that awful drink called “soda”. It didn’t kill them! (Jake at a little league game in NYC and he doesn’t drink soda anymore)
Here’s to the moms who allow their children a “well” day off from school. Yeah. That’s right. A “well” day! The moms who give a little sigh give their student child time at home for an extra day to finish a difficult school project. Or just take a day to spend some extra quality time with them when they are feeling a bit under the weather!
Rested and happy after a “well” day?? (actually it was his first day of kindergarten–but I needed to use a happy photo–sorry!)
Whether a “well” day off from school or a sick day, kids always want their mothers to be there! And we all know moms can be doing other things–but the child is always number one!
Here’s to the moms who forgot to purchase the much-needed peanut butter and had to run to the store in her PJ’s or hair rollers to make school lunch in record time.
Here’s to the moms who stand up for their kids. The moms who teach their children good manners and to be good citizens. The moms, who, when teaching their children to open doors for adults, and then don’t acknowledge the child’s actions, politely say to the rude adult “Excuse me, I’m teaching my child to be a good and polite citizen. Could you help by saying thank you”?
Here’s to the single moms, who have it difficult at times, juggling work and home and child-rearing with no help. You are honored!
Here’s to the moms who have lost children. You will always be a mother and your pain is heartbreaking, and you are greatly honored for your strength!
Here’s to the “two mommies”. You are much-applauded in my book for sure. You go through struggles that many of us just find horrific. The fact that people don’t allow you your freedom to be drives me nuts. Two mommies can be better than one! Your children are doubling their fun and you should have the support of all mommies!! I hope that one day you are accepted by everyone—even those so-called false “Christians”.
I’ve oftentimes heard that being a mother is a thankless job.
And motherhood is an unpaid job–but the rewards are many!
I disagree—being a mother is a job that is extremely thankful. I am thankful as a mother that I have three wonderful children who grew up to be strong and fiercely independent and successful adults. They haven’t had it easy and they have weathered some life issues that no child should have to endure—but thanks to love and care and firm discipline, they came out fine! I am so thankful!
So moms everywhere, these flowers are for all of you! I love you all and admire you all! We are a strong group of women—responsible for tomorrow’s leaders. Let’s support and cheer each other on!!
Flowers for all moms because you are deserving of them!
And here’s to the woman who gets my vote for 2015 Mother of the Year! Toya Graham! She is the true essense of a mother. A loving but strict mom. A mom who doesn’t care what others think of her disciplining ways. I love this mom!!! Despite the danger she could have put herself in, she still pushed through those crowds in Baltimore to discipline her son and get him out of harm’s way! You rock n’ roll!
My “Mother of the Year 2015” goes to Toya Graham! She is the best!
In honor of all moms, the mother of all “mom” songs by The Intruders! XOXOXOXOXO. Have a blessed and happy mother’s day all!
First of all—happy Friday! A nice pleasant end to the week it is! (Well, that’s if you have a job–unlike some of us. Good news though- I was called back for a second job interview!! I had the first one a couple of days ago!)
School’s out for me—I completed my advanced computer skills class and it was a blast.
Yes. I’m going to go all crazy creating pivot tables on Excel and will go all Power Point hungry with the presentations!
I really cannot give enough accolades to PA CareerLink or to Suzanne, our teacher. We students had a nice bonding and some of us will be seeing each other on Monday at a little seminar. It’s all good.
We had a little party. Marsha made the chewiest oatmeal cookies on earth. I made my usual Momofuku Milk Bar corn cookies. I put them in little bags–see them on the far right?
Well, mostly all good. I went shopping for a couple of bathing suits earlier this morning. And YES, I prepped myself. Gave my upper thighs a nice shave with a NON-mentholated shaving cream and was nice and smooth!
Ladies and gents. You all remember what happened when I used the menthol shaving cream. On a side note, I do use Barbasol. It’s far less expensive than those ridiculous “lady” shaving creams–and you get more to a can!
Anyway, last night I perused the internet looking at various department store sites for women’s swim wear. It was awful. Nordstrom, in particular, which has always had a great selection of women’s clothing, had nothing but skimpy junior bikinis or just super-fugly one-pieces.
All from Nordie’s. Um…the bottoms. They are way too low for someone with my..ahhhh. mudflap belly. Do these companies only make swimsuits for model figures? And speaking of the one piece–THAT suit would fit me like a thong. They all ride up!
Lord & Taylor’s website—I couldn’t even get onto it, it’s so slow and bad.
And the prices!!! Good God, don’t even get me started. NO WAY am I spending $100.00 or more on a bathing suit. By the end of the season, the fabric will be pilled and stretched and bleached out from chlorine. What a rip off.
Instead, I went on a mission to find a discounted bathing suit—or two.
First stop: Target. Um…there were NO larger swimsuits in that store. You are aware that I only wear two piece suits. The one piece, no matter what size, rides of my crotch and give me the worst wedgies on earth. I’m too long in the torso. I’m convinced that the buyer of the Target swim wear department is a 32AA cup because there is no way that the small bikini tops sold at Target would even cover the nipples of a larger breast area. I didn’t even try anything on.
Second Stop: Kohl’s. About 15 years ago, I purchased my favorite two-piece swimsuit of all time. It was an orange number with little flowers on it. The bottom was a modest bikini cut and the top was a full-coverage underwire padded little number. I loved it so much I wore it till it fell apart. I wish I could go back into the archives of Kohl’s and find that swimsuit. Alas, there was nothing like it at Kohl’s. I’m not too fond of Kohl’s to begin with, but I figured I could find a modest bikini bottom in the store. Nuh unh!
I have no idea how these bathing suits are sized but even the XL bikini bottoms were inching down where the sun don’t shine. Trust me, even Christian Clavier would have found these bottoms too small!
French actor Christian Clavier. He’s hysterically funny and in this film “Les Bronzes” from 1978, he ran around for 3/4 of the movie dressed like this. I had tears from laughing so hard. But it’s not funny when it comes to the reality of purchasing swimwear. I do NOT want to be the female equivalent of THIS!
Another disaster.
Third Stop: Marshall’s. I figured since Marshall’s was in the shopping center next to Kohl’s I would give it a shot. The swimsuit selection at this particular Marshall’s wasn’t large. But, it was a decent one. I ended up with a couple of Trina Turk two-pieces, a white skirted La Blanca Bikini, a one piece—just for the heck of it, and a couple of other suits to try on.
Will I be lucky? A white suit is kind of risky for fish-belly white old me, but it’s worth a shot!
The bottom of the Trina Turk, size 10, fit beautifully. The bandeau top did absolutely nothing for my girls except to smash them in and make ’em look saggy. The one piece bathing suite I tried on made me look like a pig and rode up to kingdom come. It surprises me how a one piece can add more pounds and make me look so frumpy! Ugh. I tried on another little number, the colors were turquoise and gray—a horrible color combo if you ask me. It took me five minutes to figure out how to put the top of the suit on. The top was very strappy and manipulating the straps took five pounds off me. The suit actually looked ok but I could not get past the colors.
Then I tried on the white La Blanca suit with the skirted bottom. The 10 fit beautifully! I had worn La Blanca suits in the past and was pleased with the quality and the cuts. Lo and behold, I had a winner! I was shocked. A white suit had me fearing that I would appear to be a great white shark but it was surprisingly flattering. The cut of the bottom comes up a bit higher and the skirt area is very short. Appearing more like a ruffle than an actual skirt. At $25.99, all I could say was “Come to Momma”! One suit down, hopefully another to go.
WHO KNEW???? Bonaparte was rather…um…surprised to see this suit, but he trusts my judgment and likes the suit a lot! When I get sprayed with some fake tanner I’ll try it on and take a pic for ya!
Maxi from Marshall’s for $14.99. Couldn’t resist. These inexpensive Maxi dresses are perfect for lounging around during the summer evenings!
My last stop was at the outlets in Limerick. I had a J. Crew gift card and figured I would check out Jacrew’s Fact (family abreevspeak for J. Crew Factory) Store for sales. In the meantime, I stopped at the Aerie outlet. Oona picked up some cute bikini’s there and I noticed on their website they had higher cut bottoms. I hit the swimsuit bottom lottery! I ended up with a navy “sky high” bottom. This bottom is great because you can wear it extremely high, roll it down a bit for a more modest look and to cover belly fat, or roll it down even more. I found a larger sized top (Seriously, I’m not very well-endowed on top but a 36C bathing suit top does NOT fit me the way my bras do. I had to size up to a D cup, of which my cup does NOT runneth over in the bra of that same size!)
SCHWING!!! I LOVE this bottom. It does look decent this high, but I’ll roll it down a bit…
Aerie has the best choices for swimwear! The price is right and the top is heavily padded and wired so my girls will stick out more than my belly!
I have to add something: Older women–Aerie is a “young” store. Run by American Eagle, but don’t be put off by the age factor with this store. The selection of swimwear is great and they carry these higher bottoms. In addition, their bras and other undergarments are very nice!
So with two two-piece suits, I left the store with my mission accomplished. I just don’t understand it though. WHY is it so difficult for a normal to extra-pounds-until-I-lose-the-weight-I-gained-over-the-winter, woman to find a bathing suit? It doesn’t matter if it’s a one piece, two piece or a tankini either. It just seems that these companies just want to make small sizes for small ladies. The pricing on larger suits is just so unreasonable. Completely unfair!
Walking around the outlets made me feel very healthy. It was great to be out and about and walking. J. Crew Factory proved to be a bargain score! With my gift card I ended up getting a gray maxi skirt and an extremely light weight and flattering tunic. I still have $45.00 left on the card too!
Picked up this tunic for 50% plus an addition 20% off of $59.50. That is a substantial savings!
The maxi (and I’ve been looking for a gray maxi skirt) was 40% plus an additional 20% off of $69.50. A great day with my gift card–and money left over! Cha-ching!!
You are all aware of the fact I never travel with good jewelry. I found this cute necklace at Forever21 for $3.90. It’s not too bad and it isn’t real–which is a real plus!
Sorry for the flash, but you know that my photography talent leaves much to be desired!
Gotta go food shopping now. I shall return with some more unnecessary musings over the weekend!
XOXOXOXOXOXO!
Friday. Sly Stone. Hot Fun in The Summertime! Yay uh!
She’s very pretty but her exaggerated pronounciations drive me “a-lo-co”
