I Had the Citiest Weekend! So How Was Yours?

This was the weekend that Oona moved from New York to Arkansas. Need I say more about my city weekend?

Friday evening, I wasn’t exactly the best dinner partner that Bonaparte could have. I spilled my spicy sushi sauce all over my plate—but it didn’t stop me from stuffing my gluttonous face dining on Wegman’s sushi. My hypochondria is starting. I have to make an appointment for my annual lady parts checkup so that will have me angst-ridden for a good month or two!

Friday night dinner

Spilling that spicy sauce didn’t stop me from wolfing down the sushi.  Bonaparte gave a prayer of thanks that I didn’t spill the bottle of wine!

Then there was the reality that my daughter was leaving. I got no sleep. I didn’t even need my alarm that woke me up at 5 AM either! I was already awake.

Her flight was at two in the afternoon. But between traffic on the PA turnpike, the NJ turnpike and bridge traffic from the Verrazano and the Brooklyn, Queens Expressway, it was better to leave early!

We were on the road at 7:30 AM! Two hours later we arrived at the apartment.

Saturday morning. On the BQE

Saturday morning on the BQE. I MISS New York so much!

Saturday Brooklyn Heights view of Manhattan

The downtown skyline from Brooklyn Heights.  There is NOTHING like the view of lower Manhattan from The Heights!  When I lived in Brooklyn Heights I would walk down to the Promenade every night after work. The view has changed–no longer are the twin towers there, but the view is still magnificent!

Saturday. Brooklyn Bridge

Another view from Brooklyn. The Brooklyn Bridge!

Saturday. DUMBO

A passing view of DUMBO. Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass. It’s getting a little update!  Oh..and Bonaparte was driving so I didn’t disobey the rules of the road!

Oona was moving out and later on in the afternoon, my nephew, Michael was replacing her as Roman’s new roommate. It’s nice to know that the two cousins will be sharing living space!

roomates!

My son Roman is happy because he got an instant roommate. His cousin Michael. Michael is happy because he doesn’t have that long commute from Long Island into Midtown Manhattan anymore! It’s all good!

Anyway, Oona had quite the bit of clothing to take with her. In fact, I gave her one of my suitcases—why should she spend money on another suitcase when she can have mine. Right? Besides, I was sure she had most of her stuff packed.

Or not.

When we arrived she was still doing laundry.   She still had “lots-o-packin'” to do. She was stressed and anxious. I was in the same frame of mind but held it in and helped her pack and purge.

Bonaparte sat on the sofa and ignored us while he watched TV.

Actually, the purging was a good thing. I ended up with some body scrub that Oona never used!

Saturday. Body polish from Oona

Stuff that mommy gets for free! I’m having a Paupered Princess moment.

She also “found” a CVS bag filled with Neutrogena skin product that she forgot about. I took it home with us and told her that she won’t have to worry about traveling home with more stuff when she comes back to visit.

Never used skin products she forgot about. It's home waiting for her.

More stuff to take home! How can you “lose” this in your closet? I have no comment!

Another “find”—a beautifully packaged gift from Roman. He forgot to bring it to me. About a year ago.

Saturday. A forgotten gift from Roman

A Maille horseradish mustard! It also came with the cutest little mustard spoon! I love surprises! CAVEAT!! I’ve just been informed by my son that this gift is only four months old at best–it was either for my birthday or mother’s day! Either way–it’s all great!

Actually, she was in good shape for the move. The apartment borders Astoria and Long Island City in Queens. It is, literally six minutes from La Guardia airport! Ten minutes in traffic!

The beauty of LaGuardia airport is the people who work there. We were able to park the car at the terminal’s curb while Oona checked her luggage and herself in. The man who was assisting her weighed her really heavy luggage and explained that the charge would be an additional $400.00. He also explained to her that if she flew first class, she would have three of her four pieces of luggage checked in for free. He asked her if he wanted to try to get her upgraded. Saving her company money, she agreed. I stayed with the luggage. Bonaparte stayed with the car.

Saturday Laguardia

Entering LaGuardia to drop my baby off for a new and exciting adventure!

She got the upgrade. Now if you are familiar with the way New Yorkers operate, you know that we love to tip. Honest to god. We could have our last twenty bucks in our pockets and if someone helps us, we will hand it over!

I handed him my last twenty bucks and thanked him for taking care of my baby!   I’m telling you, those guys who work at LAG are hustlers—and not in a bad way either! They take care of people in a quick and efficient way. I’ll get back to this guy in a minute.

So I went into the terminal with Oona and the guy who helped her. We checked her luggage in and he went back outside.

Oona was really happy to be embarking on a new adventure! She was moving from New York, but moving on for a better career move.

Secretly happy that she's getting away from me.

After a week of “good bye” partying, my daughter was actually smiling because she was going to finally get a few hours of sleep..or was she smiling because I can only do some long-distance nagging!

We had a very teary moment—and when I hugged her, it brought me back to the bear hugs I used to give her as a toddler. Only this time it was a hug that I didn’t want to end!

She left. I left the terminal. The guy who assisted came running up to me. He grabbed me and took me back into the terminal. He had Oona’s driver’s license. She forgot to get it back when she upgraded.

At this point, I didn’t even pause to think. I just yelled at the top of my lungs—and effortlessly, I might add.

“OONA!!!”   “OONA!!!!!!”

The entire terminal stopped to gape at me. The guy who helped suggested I call her on my phone.

Next thing I know, Oona came running from around the corner. She explained that she was on her way to the gate and she heard my loud mouth voice yelling her name.   She also said she couldn’t believe how far my big mouth voice carried!   We handed her license back to her.

The entire terminal applauded! The guy who assisted was impressed! I got to see my baby for one more fleeting moment!

It’s all good now!

We drove back to the apartment to pick up the rest of Oona’s stuff. We’ll be sending it to her when the weather gets cooler!

All the winter stuff

All her shit stuff is now in our garage…

Cowboy and Frye Boots. She's lucky her foot is smaller.

Oona is lucky that I have bigger feet than she does. Those cowboy boots are mighty cute!

Still life in Longchamp and Coach

How could she leave Longchamp and Coach behind?

scarfs and toasty socks

Like mommy, she has a log of scarves. Like mommy, Oona also has a penchant for plaid!

A Hamper full of old dance and sorority t shirts

…and entire hamper-full of Irish Dance t-shirts, Delta Gamma t-shirts, and other t-shirts of her life. I will have to have a quilt made–it’ll be less expensive than sending the hamper to her!

Outwear and sweaters

Hopefully global warming will allow for the outerwear to be sent to her much, much later!

Oh. I have to tell you. One thing I love to do is take the cheapest routes back from New York. I cannot stand paying tolls. So—instead of taking the BQE back to the Verrazano and spending the EZ-pass amount of $11.08 (cash is $16.00), or taking the Triborough Bridge and paying $5.54 with the EZ-Pass (Cash $8.00). We took the 59th Street (Queensboro) Bridge into Manhattan, drove across town to the Lincoln tunnel and saved $16.62! Quite the savings, huh?

Seriously—if you are thinking of going into Manhattan any time soon and are driving, shoot me an e-mail. I’ll give you the easiest and cheapest driving routes! I’m obsessed!

Saturday. Missing the El

We left the beauty of the elevated subway and Queens on the cheap….

Saturday. Feeling Groovy on the 59th Street Bridge

Taking the 59th Street Bridge aka. Queensboro Bridge saves money–and gives a great view of the City!

Saturday. High Rise off the bridge in NYC

Just into Manhattan. Call me crazy but I miss NYC apartment living!

Saturday Tram ride to Roosevelt Island overhead

Bonaparte never realized there was a tram going over to Roosevelt Island! And he used to live about three blocks away from this!

Saturday Horse buggy by the Plaza

Our quick ride through Manhattan gave me the chance to snap this pic near the Plaza

Saturday. Traffic.

…and to deal with city traffic, once again! Trust me, THIS is the cheapest way to get home!

I’ll tell ya, by the time we got home, I was emotionally exhausted.   I made sure I tracked Oona’s flight until she landed—as I’m sure any obsessed mother would do!

Dinner had a very quiet and sullen me. Bonaparte has the patience of a saint.

Sunday morning had me not wanting to leave the house. I’m getting “funny” that way. Bonaparte insisted I get dressed so that we could visit the Philadelphia Museum of Art. The museum is hosting an exhibit of Impressionist paintings: “Discovering the Impressionists.”

Sunday Sidsocering the Impressionists Best exhibit ever

I swear, this was one of the BEST exhibits I’ve ever seen–and I’ve seen many in other museums!

So we decided to get to the museum when it opened at 10AM—which ended up being a smart idea. The cost to enter the exhibit was $25.00 per person. I balked, and then mentioned to Bonaparte that it may be more cost-effective to become members of the museum.

Sunday. Phila Musee of Art (2)

It was a perfect day to spend some time at the museum and to drive around Philly!

We are now members of the Philadelphia Museum of Art. It’ll be a great value because it’ll give us something to do on the weekends during the winter and on rainy weekends in the summer. Parking is discounted and the benefits are great. Discounts in the museum shops and restaurants. Free tickets for other exhibits. And we don’t have to wait on the lines!

Sunday. Line outside the museum at noon.

I was shocked at the line to enter the museum….

Sunday. Phila musee the line gets longer

…this was the line at NOON!!! I cannot imagine how much longer it got. I’m happy we arrived when the museum opened!

Actually, it was a good thing that Bonaparte got the membership for us. He’s getting tired of my bitching about how much I can’t stand Philadelphia and how New York City is so much better!

Sunday. Philadelphia Musee. Bye Bye

Bye-bye for today! We’ll be back regularly!

I  am starting a new relationship with the City of Philadelphia!

Sunday. Boathouses fromt he other side

The view of the boat houses from  across the Schuylkill river IS pretty!

Sunday. On the way home on the skychill Note the traffic INTO philly

The Schuylkill Highway is also pretty when there’s no traffic. Look at the side going INTO Philly! Know you know why I’m glad we went into the city early!

It may not be New York, but I’m feelin’ mighty groovy about discovering the City of Brotherly Love!

Sunday. Phila skyline

It’s not New York, but I’m learning to appreciate what Philly has to offer. Look in the background–it looks like a mini Chrysler Building!

Speaking of “Feelin’ Groovy”—here’s the 59th Street Song! Remember this? XOXOXOXO

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Are You There Blog-god? It’s Me. Atypical60–Cathe!!!

Happy Monday all! I have to tell you, I’m so happy and excited. Today, much like Billy Madison, I’m going “Back to School”. But—it’s school to help me fine-tune my blogging skills—or rather to acquire blogging skills. The Blog-god has answered my prayers.

Sunday. Tarte Lights camera lashes mascara

I look up to the Blog-god for answers and help. BTW. Like my eyelashes? It’s Tarte’s “Lights, Camera, Lashes” mascara.  Bonaparte thought they were falsies! I had to pull on them to prove to my Frenchman that they were, in fact, real!

WordPress is my mentor!

Trust me, I’ll still be the same, imperfect, hot mess me—but I’ll just be better at it.

Anyway, I’ll be sharing my writing assignments with you as posts. So…just as my crossed-eyes see double. There may be days when you will be seeing double posts!

crossed eyed and flighy makeup

Check it out. I’m cross-eyed as a bat. But the beauty is, I get to see double of the great things around me. Bad thing is that I get to see double of the not-so-great things around me–like the fact I didn’t remove all my eye makeup from yesterday!

It’s all good! No. It’s all GREAT!!!

OK—I’m no longer that girl in school. The one who wrote her stuff bent over her desk, head to the paper so nobody else could see what I was writing. Yeah. You know what I’m talkin’ about!

No longer am I the one who will click her tongue at anyone who I think would be trying to cheat off of me. (Actually, I was, at times the one glancing at others’ papers!).

Come on in. Open that black and white composition book of mine!

black and white composition book

Come on in. Open up my composition book for the next few days. It’s OK. I won’t tell Sister Mary Arthur!

Grab a cuppa cawfee, or tea for that matter, and read some more about me in my first assignment!

Name: Cathe                                                                                                  Date: August 3, 2015

Subject: About Me

  1. Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?

I am blogging publicly because I want to share all the stuff that my 60-year old self has to offer. Not all of us are perfect. Hey—most of us aren’t perfect. I have days when I feel life is so wonderful and want to share life’s greatness with others. I also have days when I feel like wanting to crawl into my bed and hibernate for a good six months (and not because it’s the only way I’ll stop my emotional binge-eating and drop those unwanted twenty pounds). Point is–we are all relatable. I want to relate!

It’s also important to have a good laugh every day.   A tiny dose of humor can make the dullest or most pitiful day just a little…..bit…brighter.  I try to find one thing to laugh about each day. Mostly something about my misgivings to make me laugh. I just want to share that with others!

Why be selfish and keep that stuff to myself?

003

The only “journals” I keep are my travel journals–but I don’t keep my travels to myself either! It’s all out there!

  1. What topics do you think you’ll write about?

OMG. I have written about any and every aspect of my life as I know it. From my hair loss issue to my filthy car. From my unemployment to my helicopter mom days. I write about what life is like for a crude slob like me who happens to have a better half who is a refined Frenchman. My travels, my clothing, my music. Whatever strikes my fancy for the day is basically what I’ll write about. There is no subject off limits to me—but I’ll write honestly and with a sense of humor and humanity.

  1. Who would you love to connect with via your blog?

It’s funny. But I wanted to blog for a long time. I had this “vision” that my blog would be solely geared to women, and even men, over a “certain” age. You know, people like me—cows who have been put out to pasture. I wanted to concentrate on ageism and how to dress when you get older…blah, blah, blah.

Then I wrote my first post in January—as soon as I lost my job (catching a trend here?). My writing kind of evolved where I just wanted to write to everybody!!! Not just older people. We can all relate to job loss, sadness, happiness, music, fashion, recipes and just about everything. So I would just love to connect with anyone who is out there and feeling a bit intimidated by the perfectionists of this world. We all don’t wake up looking beautiful.

Sometimes we are that person whose shirt tails are sticking out—or who left the house with two different shoes. Ya know?

001

What you see is what you’ll get. I’m NOT that perfect blogger. I’m not that beautifully made up woman. I’m just normal..and I love it that way. I wake up looking like this. And worse!

  1. If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

There are different measures of success. For me, I’ve been successful already because I have a small group of readers who follow my blog. I consider them more like my friends rather than “followers” per se. The people who have entered into my life via my blog have given me success because they want to hang with me. They actually enjoy reading about the things I write about.

I’m successful because I’ve been able to make my circle of Atypical60-ers share the emotions I write about! I’ve accomplished that!

Hopefully, the more I blog, the more people will discover my blog and my circle of friends will grow.

I am grateful and happy for my friends who regularly read my blog—they have helped me to feel successful!

Kind of happy to be discovering philly i guess

I’m looking a bit more human here.  I would like to introduce myself to you now!

And…with that, do you really think I would end a post without a little song? Un uh! My homme, Jacques Dutronc with the most appropriate “Et moi, Et moi, Et moi”! XOXOXOXO!

#blogging101

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Atypical60’s New Creation–The Paupered Princess© Hot Mess “Lyfestile” Brand!

Late last night—or maybe it was early morning—while in my deep slumber, I had a dream vision. Maybe this vision transpired on account of something my dear Bonaparte said to me earlier in the evening. He caught a glimpse of me sprawled out on the sofa, like the royalty I am.

I was binging, emotional eating, slovenly gobbling down, enjoying a “light” snack of non-fat vanilla yoghurt in which almonds and chocolate chips were blended. Oh. This concoction was also drizzled with my home-made chocolate syrup.

My phone and tablet were placed on the sofa next to me, and I was watching an episode of “Dance Moms”. (Hey. Don’t judge. I was a dance mom!)

Bonaparte looked at me as only a Frenchman can look at an American eating oversized portions. He stated:

Cat-rreeeen” (when he calls me by my given name, I know there could be a battle about to begin). “Ahhh sought ou whhhhaaaar on ee dee-it?” “Whaaa ahr ou it-eeeng zhat sheet”? “Oh Merde…..”

Translation: “Catherine. I thought you were on a diet?” “Why are you eating that shit?” “Oh shit…followed by French language mumbling I could not understand.

Me: (lips trembling and my eyes tearing up because I’m so ashamed of myself) “Yeah, but I’m eating non-fat yoghurt.” “Besides. I’m a bit….well, I’m a bit depressed.” “Oona leaves in two days”. “I have no job”…..”Adam had an emergency and had to change my hair appointment to next Tuesday instead of this Friday”….

Bonaparte: “Ou nid to networkkkkkkk” “Ou nid to get aw of zuh ‘ouse”.

Translation: “You need to network. You need to get out of the house”

Me: “I can’t network till I lose 25 pounds weight”.

After an evening of “Dance Moms” and watching a pampered, spoiled American housewife bitching about the real estate offerings not being up to her oversized American standards on “House Hunters International”, I was more than ready to escape reality and enter into my land of dreams!

As I slept, a vision came to me. Kim Kardashian, Gwyneth Paltrow, Blake Lively and Martha Stewart were at a table. They were discussing their “Brands”. They were discussing their “lifestyle” websites and how they were making life just a bit better for so many women.

Paltrow’s “Goop”. Why wasn’t it just called “Oops!”

Blake’s “Preserve” site. I hope she is preserving that cute husband of hers!

Martha Stewart. She doesn’t even need a cute name for HER site. We all fear her!

Kim’s new site has yet to be unveiled. I’m hoping she doesn’t KOPY my ideas!!!

I rushed into their meeting and pitched MY lifestyle brand.

“Ladies!”  I said. ” I have created an entire brand based around women who aren’t sharing that same one percent privileged wealth as you are. My brand is for women who can’t afford shit. It’s called “The Paupered Princess”© (yes. I’m thinking ahead by copywriting my brand!) And my brand actually helps women repurpose and decorate on the cheap. And purchase clothing on the cheap by acquiring sale savvy.”

They all laughed. Well, Martha was just plain pissed off because I think she felt that I was intruding on all her DIY stuff. What Martha didn’t realize is that she has people to carry out her little projects! While—I’ll even bet she doesn’t even clean her own home even though she does give stellar cleaning advice!

Kim Kardashian brushed me off by announcing that she was just about to introduce her new lifestyle and selfie website—and it was going to be even bigger and better than her ass! (No, not Kanye. Her other ass. The one she stuffs into her jeans!)

Blake Lively and Gwyneth—well, they just laughed so hard and loud at me that they both picked up their “purge” pails and threw up! They explained that maybe I would want to purchase one of these special pails for only $395.00 because it would be beneficial to my health and help “rid” my body of the toxins that I apparently put into my mouth on an hourly basis!

Martha and blake

Martha with Blake Lively. They are neighbors and besties! We know why–Martha keeps her friends close and her “frenemies” even closer! We know who wears the pants in THIS friendship!

bigger gwen and marthe

Martha –this time with Gwyneth. I thought they were feuding? They must have made up in the name of helping women to be their best, anti-toxined and perfect selves!

1429721666_martha-stewart-kim-kardashian-zoom

Oh come ON Martha. This is getting ridiculous! Now you are with Kim??? What next? Are you going to become MY bestie?

I'm just a normal girl liek you. I clean with my hair in a scarf.

Can you imagine? Martha Stewart posing with ME? The Paupered Princess!! Do you like my crown??

Instead. I just continued on with my presentation for “The Paupered Princess”©

I pointed to Martha and mentioned her cleaning methods. They were just sooo complex!

Martha's cleaning supplies

Not only are these Martha’s cleaning supplies, but on her site, she shows how to CLEAN the cleaning supplies.  You really need to click on the link I provided!

mld106951_0411_06_martha_cleaning_stove_vert

Really Martha? WTF? I can overlook the spotless white shirt and pale blue apron. But the smile? Who the hell SMILES when they clean their stove?

I'd be caressing my door if Ii had your home too Martha.

Yeah Martha, at the end of my cleaning day I don’t caress the front door. My clothes aren’t even that clean. I guess you are just opening the front door to let your cleaning team leave for the day!

I explained how toilet paper is a great multi-tasker! Why run downstairs to the garage or to the kitchen to get cleaning supplies when I can grab a couple of sheets of toilet paper?

Toilet paper with grooves can multitask

Toilet Paper. It wipes off more than you could ever imagine!

With the TP, I can dust the bannisters. If the dust is sticking a bit, I can use my spit instead of wasting water. Those water bills can add up! My tip: Just make sure you haven’t used the TP before dusting!

Toilet paper doubles as a duster. Just make sure it hasn't been used

That’s right! Toilet paper can help a lazy woman with the dusting….

Look at that dust!

…why, just LOOK at that dust!!! The little groves in the paper help to capture that grime!

The presentation in my vision did not stop there.

I compared!

Blake has a pillow for $136.00 on her Preserve site!

Bug pillow from Blake Livelys Preserve site. 136.00

$136.00 for a pillow showcasing a bug! A bug!!!! How can you decorate with that? Put in in the garden?

Pillows from my naurical phase

I have two old and worn pillows from my “nautical” phase….

Pillows turned around to look solid

I repurposed them by turning them around so the back side would be on display.  I paid about $20.00 for both pillows. I just saved women $116.00!

I also brought to Blake’s attention that she has jeans which retail for $495.00 on her site!

rialto-jean-project_pdp_23 from blakes closet 495.00

What average woman can afford to spend $495.00 on jeans? Especially jeans that look like a house painter worked in them!

GAP Resolution True Skinny High Rise. On sale for less than 50 bucks. The new mom jean

Look! I have GAP Resolution True Skinny High Rise Jeans that I got on sale for LESS than fifty dollars!

These incredible jeans not only hold my sagging gut in, but they make my muffin top all but disappear! They are magic! I just saved the women of the world a little bit over $445.00!

Honestly, I don’t know what kinds of friends Blake and Ryan have that they feel the need to tell people to get one of these roll up bartender kits. I’m sure they think it’s a steal at $84.00

Leather roll up bar kit. 84.00 preserve

And don’t tell me it’s good for a picnic. I call BS. Most women I know are such lushes they keep a corkscrew in their car or in in their purses. I can go organic with the cocktails. Use your fingers as a strainer, use a finger as a stirrer and if you want to shake, just dance whilst mixing the drink. I just saved a load of money for you ladies!

Gwen is trying to tell us how to “Dress Like a French Girl”…

Gwen’s Goop on Dressing like a Frenchie!

Hey Gwen. When was the last time you were in France? Where’s the Repetto Ballet Flats? Where’s the Rondini sandals? I don’t see any Nat & Nin bags!!! French women don’t dress in those items you posted.  You have white cutoff shorts for $225.00!!! AND expensive T-shirts!

cutoff shorts 225.00

There is something seriously sick in the head if you pay $225.00 for a pair of cutoff shorts!

Slenderizing shorts. They are so tight you won't be able to eat a meal in them.

I got MY white cutoff shorts from J. Crew Factory a couple of years ago–making them even MORE vintage!  I think I paid about $25.00 on sale. They are also “Miracle” shorts. Not only is it a miracle that I still fit into them, but these shorts are also a miraculous diet device. They are so tight that you cannot eat in them!  Oh..and I paired this with my $4.00 Old Navy Fitted Tee!  I just saved $196.00!

Who doesn’t love a cuppa tea? Growing up in an Irish household tea was the beverage of choice. Gwyneth lived in London so she likes a good cuppa as well! She even sells this pricey kettle on the Goop site!

Goop Kettle 165.00

A Tea Kettle for $165.00! That must surely be some special tea!

Kettle with Character

Here’s MY special kettle. It’s been in the family for years! My mother probably paid $2.99 for it YEARS ago. Now it’s priceless!  Wow! It’s a savings of $162.01! I think I’m getting out of the poor house!

Geez. I had NO idea Paltrow and I were so much alike. Dressing like a Frenchie. Our love of tea and kettles. She also loves Orange Blossom!  Look at this candle–and it’s only $68.00. $68.00 to burn the house down if you aren’t paying attention!

Orange Blossom Candle for Higher Energy $68..00

I can bet this doesn’t even smell as good as ……

Shopping. Le Petit Marseiliais products.

…my INEXPENSIVE Orange Blossom toiletries that I got in France–at the grocery store!!!  I paid around $8.00 for all this stuff–Man oh man! I saved Sixty Bucks!

Gwyneth Paltrow, though, is , like me, a giver. She has “gently worn” items that are being sold to charity. (I don’t know which charity the money is going to).

Goop Gently worn stella mccartney sneakers. 545.00 for charity.

Stella McCartney’s “gently worn” sneakers for only $545.00. Geez–you would think that the daughter of Sir Paul would have more classic taste!

Shop for Charity. J. Crew skirt that not only doesn't fit, it's too short for my cellulite ritten thighs. Goodwill.

My “Paupered Princess” gently worn (I tried it on. Once), J. Crew skirt. I got too fat. I’ll just bring it to Goodwill where they can sell it to a woman who cannot afford those $545.00 sneakers.  It’ll sell for about $3.00–which makes me happy!

Going back to the kitchen, Goop also advertises this Spiralizer at the bargain price of $65.00.

Spiralizer 65.00

Trust me, this isn’t even worth $35.00. I purchased it a long time ago for less money and it was a pain in the ass to use…Instead..

Veggetti spirilizer. Retails 14.99. I got it for 10.99

Invest $14.99 on Veggetti. It does the same thing only better! I was lucky to get mine on sale for $10.99

Ribboned veggies ready for salad

Even better is this “Ribbon” vegetable peeler. Eight bucks and look how pretty that zucchini is! I’ll toss it into my salad tonight!  What’s the savings? $55.00?

Unfortunately, my favorite, Kim Kardashian of the perfect makeup, hasn’t released her new site yet! I’m bummed! But I DID give her some jeans advice!

Shop Cathes Closet. 9.99 Loft jeans

I told Kim that she needed to wear clothing on her new website. I told her that Kanye could save money if he purchased her jeans on sale. I got these at Loft for $9.99 last year and I LOVE them!

does my ass look fat

Kim accused me of Kardashian  Selfie Kopying when I showed her shot of my ass in my Loft $9.99 jeans.  I explained that Kopying is a form of fattery flattery!

Needless to say, in my vision, none of these bitches really “supportive” women were happy with my ideas.  So, I would like to share with you, some of my additional “Paupered Princess” “Lyfestile” (do you like my ultra cool spelling of lifestyle?)  ideas!

On-site storage facility. It's really a bathroom that we need to add

A DIY In-house “storage facility”. Hey, what princess doesn’t have her own storage facility. Right?  This is actually a small room downstairs that has been fitted with plumbing. Eventually–i.e. when I get a “job”, this will be turned into another guest bathroom. In the meantime, it’s been dramatically transformed into my private “storage facility” storing all sorts of shit that hasn’t been unpacked since our move a year ago!

Flowers and plants always brighten up the place! Presently, Bonaparte has placed me on a “no-buy”. That means Home Goods and estate sales are off limits for now. How can I decorate, you ask?  Plants and flowers!  Bonaparte buys the flowers at Costco. Costco has great flowers and they last for a long time. I maintain their freshness with regular water changes and I clip the stems!

Costco flowers less pricey than a florist

Costco flowers. Over a week old and still looking good. Bonaparte paid about $14.00 for them.

OK. time to get rid of THESE repurposed flowers and get new ones

Here’s some Costco flowers from A MONTH ago that were repurposed. Time to repurpose them into the trash!

Juliannas flowers

These lovely flowers were a thank-you gift from Jakes “girl” (shhhh–if you look closely at the card you can see her name. But you didn’t hear it from ME!).  They cost me nothing but they are priceless!

Born again plant

This plant was just about dead but we decided to move it downstairs. Now it’s thriving. It’s “Born Again”!

Ten buck plants from home depot

Two ten dollar plants we got in the early spring. See what I mean? Such a cheap way to decorate!

Dried hydrangea from one of Bonapartes clients gardens.  Freebie!

Dried Hydrangea. One of Bonaparte’s clients clipped them from her garden last year. I dried them and preserved them with hairspray! Aren’t they pretty? Bonaparte wants me to get rid of them–but I can’t. Am I having a “hoard” on?

Now for more decorating ideas from this “Paupered Princess”!

Hardwood in the dining room

Just like those spoiled housewives on “House Hunters” who complain about EVERYTHING, I complained about carpet in the dining room. I have an aversion to eating a meal on carpeting. It’s filthy and disgusting. I won out and we had the carpeting in the dining room replaced with hardwood. The wood matched the hardwood in the kitchen. We didn’t pay much either and the end result was worth its weight in gold and  no bitchiness!

Artsy off the kitchen still life with chippy a table fromt he trash and two chairs Ii paid a dollar for years ago.

Every lifestyle site needs an artsy photo with soft lighting and a dog! My Lyfestile photo has my Chippy wishing I would leave him alone. It also has a table, covered in burlap.  I got the table when the assistant to our super in our NYC apartment died. I got it for free! I got the chairs in the garbage and cleaned them up!  The market basket was about 8 euros in a small store in Chatres, France. I’m very much the Paupered Princess. Am I not?

An entire room done on the cheap

Screw those other lifestyle sites that show off items nobody but the one percent can afford. THIS is how you decorate a family room: Ikea Ektorp sofa and chair.  Rug from Home Goods that I paid $39.99 for. Cawfee table from Mealey’s furniture. I think it was about $250.00. The baskets are cheap ones from Home Goods. Lamp from Bed, Bath and Beyond. Lamp table from Home Goods and Book cases from Vintage Home.  The artwork on the wall is a painting that Bonaparte’s dad did! Very inexpensive room to decorate!

pays to have an artist in the family

Another work of art by Bonaparte’s dad. I LOVE it because his dad adores fat-ass women! I think that’s why his dad likes me so much!

Household tips!

Did you know that lemons are multitaskers?

Lemons more versatile than eggs

Lemons are so incredibly versatile. Did you know that you can use them to clean your sink and to cut grease? I hope Martha does not steal this bit of knowledge. After I use a lemon, I don’t throw it out. I’ll clean the sink of grease with it, then I’ll put it into the disposal. The lemon keeps the disposal from stinking up!

Take good care of your house guests:

Tampons and maxi pads for my female house guests.

I haven’t had a period in ten years–but I know that Oona and her friends always seem to be crampy when they visit! ALWAYS keep a supply on hand. Besides, Tampons are great to help stop nosebleeds!

And finally, fashion with the Princess!

Wh doesn't want to come home to this hot mess in this rather spectacullar lounging ensemble

Hey. Who wouldn’t want to come home to THIS hot mess! Bra strap and all….

Cchanneling my inner Sophia Loren

OK–that’s a classier pose. How about THIS lounging outfit?   “Goop” and “Preserve” would NEVER show you THIS ensemble!!  Pants from Gap outlet. They were 70 percent off $13.99. Got ’em for $4.20! The print is great because I can eat dinner in them and if I spill food, you can’t tell! Another magic item! I paired this with a Uniqlo sleeveless tee that I got for maybe five bucks and the sandals are from YEARS ago. Calvin Klein but I got them at Marshall’s dirt cheap!  Oh..and the earrings were a buck from Walmart!        

I’m  a fashionable “Muthabucker”!  I never pay full price!

So to all the Blakes. And to the Gwyneths. And to my precious Kim. And to my intimidating Martha—you have beautiful sites (Ok-Kim, we’re STILL waiting for yours!).

You are beautiful people who are lucky enough to afford stuff that is so “out-of’reach” for the vast majority. We all know that. So why not bring your lifestyles down a bit?  Maybe take a lesson from MY  “Lyfestile”.

Be a “hot mess” instead of a “god-ess”!  It’s more fun!

We may not be Blakes or Gwyneths or Marthas or Kims. But we are all Beautiful People!

Here’s “Beautiful People” by Melanie. It’s a beautiful song!

Posted in Decorating on a budget, Gwyneth Paltrow "Goop"., Lifestyle site parodies. Blake Lively "preserve", Martha Stewart. Kim Kardashian, Poor persons way to save money | Tagged , | 16 Comments

I Got The Music In Me. You Got It In You?

You know how one thing leads to another? Well, when I wrote yesterday’s post about my “unconventional” mothering ways, I started to think about all the music I used to play in the house when the kids were growing up, which leads me to the subject of music….

I love music. I adore my cd collections. My ex-husband inherited all our vinyl and that’s ok because I have most of the stuff on CD anyway—and some on my IPhone.

Thinking back, I am well-aware that my love for music came from my parents. Growing up, they had quite the album collection. In addition, my stay-at-home mother always had the radio on AND would ALWAYS watch Dick Clark’s American Bandstand.

Dick Clark

Dick Clark was a very popular guy in our house when I was very young!

If it were not for Dick Clark and my mother, I would have never learned how to dance “The Stroll” (I’m giving my age away) or any of the many dances that were in fashion during the early 1960’s. I must’ve been about five years old when my mother would grab me, place my body across from hers, and we would rhythmically “stroll” the width of the living room; just stopping short of the small black and white TV. Then we would both run up to the sofa and continue our “stroll” back up the beautifully waxed hardwood living room floor while never missing the beat!

The Stroll

The Stroll. Take a look at the couple in the middle. The couple would “stroll” down the aisle to the beat and when they reached the end, the top couple would stroll down. I LOVED doing this with my mother–mostly because it was one of the few times I wasn’t getting in some sort of trouble with her!

As I entered the pre-teen years and acquired a transistor radio, I traveled from “American” Bandstand to the “British Invasion”. My first crush was Ray Davies of the “Kinks”. Followed by Herman’s Hermits’ Peter Noone! The Beatles’ crushes changed on a weekly basis.

Bands

The Beatles and The Kinks. Kinks were and still are my number one. I’ve never been a Stones fan–and never liked The Who until I became pregnant. It was the weirdest thing. I actually CRAVED The Who the way other pregnant women crave pickles and pizza! I would listen to “Tommy” and “Who’s Next” all day!

Herman's_Hermits_1968_US_television_concert_special

…and that cute little Peter Noone, aka “Herman”. He still looks good…but..

Ray Davis of the Kinks. Still looking cute as ever!

..not as good as my one true love, Ray Davies!

Into my early teens, and throughout the remainder of my teen years, the transistor radio was replaced with “FM” radio. Those songs of pre-teen innocence gone. Woodstock and the Hippie generation brought a new musical age of enlightenment with Jimi Hendrix, Jefferson Airplane, The Doors, and The Mamas and The Papas. I traded my “British Musical Miles” in for a return trip to America—only THIS time it was to the Haight-Ashbury, San Francisco love fest!

One of the best of all time CSN

This-quite possibly one of the greatest Albums/CD’s of all time! I can pop this in to the player and still manage to sing all the words to all the songs!  Helplessy Hoping that my memory serves me right–huh?

Best Creedence CD Collection ever!

CCR!  MY favorite song is the not-too-popular “Hey Tonight”. I play it over and over and over and over………

Joni Mitchel of the perfect voice and the perfect phrasings.

..and there is the beautiful and iconic California Hip/chic Joni Mitchell. Her songs will always remind me of one of my childhood friends who passed away a few years ago.

While too young to rebel against “The Establishment”, and too afraid of my parents to start dressing like a hippie rather than a plaid-skirted, knee-socked, Bass Weejun proper schoolgirl, music gave me the opportunity to enter that rebel world without leaving my room!

A babysitting job when I was 14 years old got me hooked on Classical music. Yeah. I babysat for a couple who had gotten married when they were “older”. She was an ex-nun and he was an ex-priest. They had two daughters and no TV. The job was so boring without a TV, and they didn’t have any junk food,  but they paid so well! Anyway, they DID have a stereo. And lurking through their vast collection, I noticed they had nothing but classical music. Trust me, up until that babysitting job the only knowledge of classical music that I had was that it was used in many soundtracks for cartoons!

Completely bored but intrigued, I took one of the albums from the collection and listened to it. It was actually a “Readers Digest Light Classical Collection” that contained a few albums.  The music was beautiful. So beautiful, in fact, that I actually looked forward to returning to their home to sit the girls. Listening to the music took me away from the chaotic house of four other siblings that shared our hectic household lifestyle. I was in a state of relaxation.

Festival of light classical music

This was my proper introduction to the world of classical music. I honestly wish I had this collection right now!

I grew to love that collection so much that I would take it out of our local library on a regular basis and lock myself in my room listening to the soothing orchestrations while I read or did homework.

Also by this time in my life, I went through two more music “crushes”— Cat Stevens and Jimi Hendrix! Two beautiful male specimens to fantasize about while listening to the Classics!

I don't care what his new name is, he's always going to be Cat in CD form

He may not be well-liked and under appreciated these days due to his change to the Islamic world but his music has always remained poetic and ethereal and I’ll always love it!  “Wild World” will always remind me of a high school crush who ended up going out with one of my best friends! Wild!

catstevens-624-1386942006

Too bad he doesn’t look like THIS anymore! Right?

Jimi! Hey Joe. The best slow dance song of all time

Jimi. I had such a crush on him that I delusionally believed I could have saved him. No. I wasn’t taking LSD either. My dad was a police officer! BTW, Number 3 “Hey Joe” was the best slow dance song of all time! I had my then-not-so-fat-ass grabbed a few times while dancing to that song!

hear-my-train-hendrix-645x748

He personified hippie chic!  If you get the chance, watch “Hear My Train A Comin'” It’s a great documentary. Hey. Bonaparte liked it–and he HATES rock music!!!!

Yes. Now heavily into my teenaged years of angst, discovery and awkwardness not only was I enthralled with Cat and Jimi, but I was also a big fan of Led Zeppelin—probably because Robert Plant’s hair was more beautiful than mine. It just wasn’t fair that a man could have beautiful curly hair like that and I had a mass of frizz!

Robert plant

Not only was I jealous of his hair, but Plant’s voice was so loud he didn’t need a mike. Imagine. He was louder than I am!

I spent my baby sitting money on albums. I loved the cover art. I loved the feel of the vinyl. I loved reading the credits. The albums were my tangible links between me and the musicians who understood what I was going through at any given time!

axis bold as love

Ok..so I’m overloading on Jimi today. But I dare anyone to argue that this isn’t GREAT and AWESOME and completely hippified beautiful album cover art!

A few years later “Disco” music became my guilty pleasure. Being too cool to actually admit I loved the happy harmonies and beats to “Abba” and “K.C. and the Sunshine Band”, I would sneak into my room, like a “bad girl” sneaking behind a garage for a cigarette, and let the music take me away to the dance club in my mind!

Abba. My guilty pleasure

Another album/cd that I can totally sing along to in my car. At “11”! Yeah. Loud and off key baby!

I was a bit too “preppy” to get into that whole Disco scene in reality, but in my mind, I loved the “Nightlife” more than Alicia Bridges did!

My early and mid- twenties were spent in a mélange of various musical artists. Concerts at the old Academy of Music in New York City; seeing XTC, Joan Jett, The Pretenders, The Psychedelic Furs and others brought a bit of rebel back to me. The days of parties and no responsibility. Whenever I hear a song by one of those artists or groups, I am in NYC in a bar or a party having a completely wild time. It’s kind of channeling the movie “Trainwreck”!

In my late twenties—actually, I was 27 and newly pregnant with Jake, MTV was created. It was amazing!   Parties we attended would be hushed and quieted just to watch a video by that new singer Madonna or Adam Ant. I think those music videos were the beginning of the end—conversations were stalled in order to turn our heads to a TV and watching music rather than listening to it was the new normal!

Adam Ant. I loved Ant Music and Puss n Boots. He was so naughty!

Adam Ant!  My favorite Ant song is “Puss ‘n Boots’. It’s so naughty!

Throughout the years, I never stopped listening. When the kids were young, I really didn’t have a lot of that “Rafi” stuff. Why listen to “Baby Beluga” when I could have them listen to the lullaby sounds of Cat Stevens’ “Moonshadow”?

The only “kiddie” music the kids listened to was Sharon, Lois and Bram. I LOVED the fact they sang old school standards. It was like being a kid again and listening to some of the music my parents danced to—like Big Band stuff. Besides, Sharon, Lois and Bram didn’t sing “down” to kids. The three musicians showed a respect for both the music AND children. Ugh. I can’t stand those dopey songs that pander down and patronize kids.

sharon lois and bram

Sharon, Lois and Bram and their Elephant Show will always bring back wonderful memories of Jake as a very young preschooler. I even took him to one of their concerts in NYC when Jake was about three years old. We had a blast. Lois, RIP! You are missed! I thank you for treating children with respect and not being condescending!

Throughout my thirties and into my forties, albums were slowly replaced with CD’s. A new wave of groups and musicians was coming into focus and as the kids were getting older, the variety included the great and melodic Matthew Sweet, The Cranberries, and Arrested Development (I loved them. Where are they now?), and, thanks to my sons, Beck!

Matthew Sweet will always remind me of living in NJ and Little League BB games

Matthew Sweet was and still remains a favorite of all three of my kids and me!  “Girlfriend” will always bring back memories of living in Pennington, NJ and going to Little League base ball games. Isn’t if funny how certain songs will trigger exact memories?? I love that so much!

Different generations all providing enjoyment

Look! Multi-generational music! When I need to get my funk on, James Brown, Rev. Al Green, Wilson Pickett and Sly Stone get me in the mood. The Byrds offer that laid back California hippie vibe.  US3’s Cantaloop and the Cranberries remind me of fun with the kids as they were starting to grow up!

Oona kept the pop going with Spice Girls, Hansen, and her little boy band CDs! To this day, (Oh God. I cannot believe I’m actually admitting this!)S-Club 7 is one of my favorite CD’s because it reminds me of all the car trips the two of us took up to her dance classes and competitions!

S Club 7. Still sounds like yesterday.

I swear to god, I was listening to this S Club 7 CD after Oona and I spent our last weekend together before her move! This CD is a memory bank for me!

B Witched. Remember THAT one

Does anyone remember B*Witched? The Irish girl group from the late 90’s? This was in Oona’s little CD case. YUP! I still have her case of boy band and girly CD’s! I cannot bring myself to get rid of them.

An old clunker car that we had while living in Manhattan gave me a new lease on “Standards” by the way! An old stinky gray Dodge Aspen. It was a piece of shit, but got me around the City. The radio only received AM stations. My dial was permanently set to 11.30 WNEW AM.

car radio

My shitty Aspen which smelled like fish when the windshield wipers were on, had a crappy AM radio similar to this.  I’m thankful I could get that one station. We would drive around Manhattan singing standards!

I not only received a new musical lease on life with these great old songs that my parents and aunts and uncles loved, but my kids learned to appreciate these wonderful melodies too!

The Best of Bobby Darin CD

WNEW AM Loved Bobby Darin as much as I did. His music had a heavy rotation on that station…

The Complete Tom Jones

..so did this other king of cool. Tom Jones. HIS music reminds me of summers at my grandmother’s house because my Aunt Terry and her friends loved him! So do I!

My music collection is categorized and organized as best as I can make it. I’ve got my rock, pop, standard and classical collection all neatly alphabetized in a huge case.

Open up for a world of rock, pop, standards and classical

4 Non-Blondes. I could never figure out why they didn't become superstars!

This CD reminds me of summer in Virginia Beach. I’m also surprised that 4 Non-Blondes never became a super group.  This is still one of my favorite CD’s–23 years later!! I’m glad Linda Perry is active in the music business as a producer though!

My collection of French music, which I listen to more and more these days, is neatly ensconced in a different case, which also houses my Cajun and world music.

Top left Sandrine Kiberlain's CD is great!

Some of my Frenchie stuff. Serge Lama has a very “interesting” French version of The Kink’s “Apeman”!

Father and Son. The Dutronc men

I also have me the Dutronc men. Dad Jacques and son Thomas!

Astrud Gilberto and Cubana. Nice sensual summer evening music

Latin music always brings sensual summer evenings at the beach–with cocktails to mind.

I don't like country, but this 4 set of American Roots Music is great

American Roots music is almost eerie in an “Oh Brother Where Art Thou” way. A lot of it is very sad and haunting with tales of sickness and poverty and struggle.  But we need songs like that once in a while!

Some Cajun stuff. Yes. id o cook to the bottom CD

Whenever I listen to my Cajun music I’m immediately mind-traveled down to New Orleans and having a great time. Oh–and I DO play Cajun cookin’ whenever I make a gumbo! Then I dance around the house!

Billy Furlong Strings for the Sets

This CD has been placed in my world music section. Billy Furlong and Michelle Bergin are musicians  who played at many a feis that Oona competed in. We listened to this CD for YEARS. Number 23, especially–Oona’s set for a long time was King of the Fairies. Look–there’s even a song about me–Madame Bonaparte! This CD brings back a load of dance memories and memories of the great friends we made during that time!

I’ve also amassed a decent collection of Christmas music!

Some more christmas music!

I like an eclectic mix. After all, Santa Claus travels all over!

Jazzy Wonderland. I have two copies. Shamrocks and Holly brings me back to the Oireachtas

Two of my favorite Christmas CD’s of Christmas music. I have two copies of A Jazzy Wonderland. One for the car and one for the house…

Jimis only christmas recording

And I even have his rare Jimi Hendrix Christmas album/cd!!!!!

The CD’s I listen to now are almost like a uniform of clothing. The same stuff I never, ever tire of: every single John Mayer CD, Joni Mitchell, Matthew Sweet, Billy Joel, and my French CD’s. This is the music I’m comfortable with for now. Familiar and worn in and always making me feel slightly better on the worst day!

...and there' even MORE John Mayer. I have two copies of Room for Squares

I “discovered” John Mayer while on a trip to Austin, TX to visit my son Jake who was a student at UT at the time. I always equate Mayer with Austin!

Like my memories, I keep my music collections close to my heart. Some CD’s haven’t been played in years—but I know they are with me. And when I get the urge to go back to a different time in my life, I can sit back, open up my ears, close my eyes, and let my mental theatre bring me to my childhood, or teen years, my young mother days or even the bad times. With my music I can go anywhere and be in any time!

It’s all good. Actually, with music, it’s all greatness!

XOXOXOXO. Today. I’m thinking–standard! How’s this Bobby Darin tune?  Clementine! It’s a take on..yeah..the old Darlin’ Clementine, but done in Darin’s hip way!

Posted in Christmas music, Jimi Hendrix, The British Invasion, The Kinks, World music | Tagged , , , | 13 Comments

The Mad Adventures of a Bad and Naughty Mommy! (That would be ME!!!)

When my son, Jake,  and “the girl” (listen, I only refer to this really, really nice girl that he brought home as “the girl” because it has been kindly suggested to me to keep some things a bit—well, private.), were over this past Friday evening they, Bonaparte and I had a really nice dinner on our terrace deck. After a few couple few of Kir Royales, followed by a certain amount of Rosé, I loosened up enough to tell “the girl” a couple of stories about Jake when he was a little boy.

Before I continue with those stories, you should  really need to know something.

In my family I’m known as the bad “unconventional” mother! Yeah. I was absolutely horrible. One of my sisters wouldn’t even let her children near me without supervision!

I breastfed my three kids for a total of three years each. They are three years apart. I nursed for a total of nine years straight. I nursed on the subway, on the city buses, in restaurants and on Sunday, in Mass. You think Mary gave Jesus a bottle?

Holy family

Can you imagine?  Joseph asking Mary if he should ride the donkey into town to pick up formula for Jesus??????

Oh. And you can become pregnant whilst in your breastfeeding phase.

Breastmilk. A Natural Boob Job!

Breast milk. The natural and organic boob job. Oh..and it’s good for the children too! This pic was taken after Oona was born.  They eventually went down in size–and gravity too!

I didn’t “safeguard” our apartment in New York City. By that, I mean I didn’t put child locks on cabinets; the children knew in no uncertain terms to NOT even think of opening that cabinet under the sink!

The children lived in my home. I didn’t live in theirs.

I could have been arrested for child abuse for the example below:

Example: When Roman was about 18 months old, he miraculously unclipped the strap in his stroller and ran out onto Broadway—in oncoming traffic. A bus was approaching.

I ran like the wind out in the street, grabbed him and spanked his diaper- protected backside, literally hysterical crying “Don’t you EVER, do that again!!! ”

One of my earth mother friends saw this and said “Are you abusing that child?”

My comeback: “Yeah, Allie. I would rather have an abused child than a dead child” “Don’t forget to tell everyone at the playground what I did!!!!!!”

Another great example of my life lessons…..

Example. Shortly after Roman’s birth, I was in the playground—nursing Roman while Jake played close by. My friend Anna was sitting next to me. Jake asked Anna’s daughter if he could ride her tricycle. Anna’s daughter said no—so Jake asked Anna if he could ride the bike. Anna looked down at Jake (I swear to god I will never forget this) and said in an “Earth Mother” sing-songy soft voice.

“I’m sorry Jake; she doesn’t feel like sharing today”

I was dumbstruck. WTF kinds of values were this one teaching her daughter?????

When I got home, I had a neighbor watch the kids. I got on the subway and went downtown. I purchased a tricycle for my son. The next day we went to the playground, knowing fully well what would transpire.   I sat my ass down next to Anna. Anna’s daughter came running up to Jake, who was in front of me and getting on his bike. She asked Jake if she could ride his little bike.

I bent over and in the most sing-songy voice I could use said

“I’m sorry, but Jake doesn’t feel like sharing today”

Then I turned to Anna and asked “How does that feel. Do you like it when the shoe is on the other foot?”

How could you not want to share with him

Seriously. How could anyone not share with my baby boy?? I hope I taught that non-sharer a valuable  object lesson!

Yes. I was THAT mother! I led by example!

When my ex-husband was away on business, the kids and I would all sometimes “camp out” in the family room. Watching TV till all hours, eating ice cream and other goodies—and sometimes, I would put some music on and we would rock out dancing!

Before we moved to the suburbs and the kids were really young I would do this thing during the full moon. We lived in Upper Manhattan, up on a hill. During the winter, when the trees were bare, you could see the George Washington Bridge—and at night when it was lit up, it was stunning. Anyway, during the super full moons in the late Fall and Winter, I would get the kids bundled up and take them to the highest point of the hill to see “The Beautiful Moon”. It was spectacular because it was so large that you could seemingly touch it.

GW bridge

tbd_snapsupermoon071414b_13508737_8col

Was I THAT bad to take my young children at night, all bundled up to see THIS???

All little kids need to see things like that super full moon before they go to sleep so they can have sweet dreams!

You get the gist of my “bad” mothering.

Anyway, back to Jake and the “embarrassing” stories that mommy could tell…..

Jake was in kindergarten. At St. Ignatius Loyola School in NYC. Christmas time.

Our Christmas tree was up—oh, maybe a couple of days. I had finished decorating it. It was massive. My ex-husband was on a business trip so I was on my own with the tree.

Roman was two years old and Oona wasn’t even in the fetal stage yet! Roman, for some reason, crawled under the tree and knocked it over. Here’s where bad mom comes in…

I grabbed the tree and held it up, over-dramatically screaming to Jake to “run upstairs to the Barrett’s apartment and get James and John” (James and John being Jake’s best friend, Kevin’s teenaged twin brothers)

I also yelled “I’m gonna kill your brother!!!!” (I really had no intention of killing Roman. I love him unconditionally).

national_lampoons_christmas_vacation_image.jpg

I wasn’t as composed as Clark Griswold!

The next day, I received a call from Jake’s teacher, Mrs. Wescott. Mrs. Wescott was an ex-nun and was one of the nicest, kindest women I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.  He attended Kindergarten at St. Ignatius Loyola in NYC.

St_Ignatius_Loyola_School_4_298650

A great and liberal Catholic school. Lots of fun memories here!

The conversation went something like this:

Me: “Hullo” (Again, I’m classy!)

Mary Wescott: “Cathe, I have something to tell you….”

Me: (Interrupting). OMG. Mary, is Jake OK????

Mary Wescott: “Yes he is fine. But you know, something happened today and if Jake was in public school his teacher would have called the police on you. It’s a good thing I know you”

Me: (Shocked) “What happened?”

Mary Wescott: “I always ask the children if they have any special intentions before we say our morning prayers”. (Remember this is Catholic School) “Jake raised his hand and said “I would like to offer our prayers up for my brother Roman. He knocked the Christmas tree down and my mother said she was going to kill him.” “I don’t want my mother to kill my brother”

Me: “Well, I did say that, but I didn’t mean it.” “I would never kill one of my kids!”

Mary Wescott “Cathe I know that, I just thought you would like to hear this”….

jake on subway

No bus for this guy–being the bad mom that I am, I accompanied him downtown twice a day on the subway.  That was until I wised up and drove downtown and back! It was the least I could do since I traumatized him with the “Christmas Tree” incident! Isn’t he adorbs in that little uniform???

Thank god Mrs. Wescott did know me. I did a ton of volunteer work at the school and the nuns and lay teachers were well aware of just how “Mother Teresa” I could be every now and then!

I didn’t stop there. I continued to tell “the girl” another great story!

Poor Mrs. Wescott—another incident that took place during Jake’s Kindergarten year!

Mother’s Day. 1988. The children of St. Ignatius Kindergarten hosted a “Mother’s Day Tea”. The students, unbeknownst to the moms, (or at least to this mom) brought in their favorite picture of their mothers to place on a bulletin board that Mrs. Wescott decorated in honor of the moms.

We moms were invited to take a look at the pictures on the bulletin board. The mothers all looked so nice and pretty and proper in various Laura Ashley dresses. Tea length dresses were very popular back then among the conservative mommy crowd. Floral and chintz fabrics adorned the mommies. They all looked so loving and nurturing!

Then there was the photo of me. My eyes popped wide and my mouth opened. But I was speechless. I was shocked at what I saw before me.

It was a photograph that was taken during my youngest sister’s wedding. I was seated at a table and I was wearing a strapless bridesmaid dress. My hair, due to the rainy weather that day, was not just Long Island big, it was Long Island huge!!! I had a drink (one of many Woo Woo’s that were consumed that evening) in one hand, a pack of Marlboro Lights (I stopped smoking years ago) were placed on the table next to me, and behind the Marlboros was a bottle of Afrin nasal spray. (I had awful allergies and my nose was constantly stuffed)! I was mortified! First of all, I had no idea how this lovely and sweet child of mine even got his hands on this picture! Secondly, I looked like a full-blown lush! My smile clearly told the story of a woman who had quite a few beverages. Beverages that were NOT non-alcoholic!

harry-potter-and-the-deathly-hallows-part-1-movie-photo-02-e1291280590407

My big-ass Long Island hair made this do of  Ms. Bonham-Carter’s  look little…

Afrin

I didn’t need hairspray–THIS was my go-to spray….

marlboro lights

Luckily, I stopped…but cigs go so well with cocktails!

WooWoo

Back then, Woo-Woo’s were such a delicious beverage! Do they still make these?

I slowly walked over to Mrs. Wescott and whispered “How could you let that photo be placed on the bulletin board?” She answered that “Jake said he liked the picture because he said your smile was pretty” “Cathe, all he saw was your smile!”

That night when I thought about the photograph, I cried. Not because I was sad, but because kids are just so damn innocent—they just don’t see the awful stuff. Jake didn’t see “bad” mom. He didn’t see “party” mom. He just saw that my buzz-filled smile looked pretty to him!

I feel badly that I ripped the picture up–otherwise I would have posted it. Fear not. Here’s a little photo play of some naughty mom moments for your pleasure!

What younger kids are good for

Long Beach New York. circa 1987. What the young oldest child is good for!

I let my baby crawl out into the Atlantic Ocean

I let my babies crawl out into the Atlantic Ocean. Actually, Roman probably already knew what a hot mess of a mom I was. He was probably trying to escape from me!

I ignored Oona while she ate sand. I think it's non-fattening.

I paid no attention while Oona ate sand. Hey. It’s organic! (Damn. I was so much thinner!)

I let the boys play with guns!

I allowed the boys to play with violent toys–such as this Ghostbusters pop gun!

Like Marie Antoinette, I let them eat cake...

Just call me  Momee Antoinette, I let them eat cake….

Like Marie Antoinette I let them eat more cake

…and more cake….

Oh yeah. And even MORE cake. Just for a photo op!

…and even MORE cake!

I let them eat pizza....

I let them eat pizza at such a young age…

I let them drink soder

..and drink…SODA!!!

Every now and then, a bottle. No. It isn't bourbon. It's iced tea.

…and the crime of all crimes. I allowed the kids to have a bottle every ONCE IN A WHILE! NO–it isn’t bourbon or whiskey. It’s worse! It’s iced tea! At least it was followed by a shot of breast milk!

Jake's six month old half birthday. Notice the half birthday hat and cake and candle. And NO he didn't touch the flame. Bad mommy turned good mommy just in time!

I did awful things like have a “six-month-old” Birthday party for Jake. (Note the hat cut in half, the half cake, and the half-tapered candle.) Luckily, bad mom turned into great mom and got his hand out of harm’s way just in time!

I let them play wiffle ball in the apartment!

I let the boys play Wiffle ball in the apartment.

Getting dirty with farm animals

I allowed them to touch filthy barn animals and usually forgot to bring wipes!

Enjoy the memories. That'll be whats left!

I never protected them from scary Halloween monsters who hovered over them!

Jake as the Penguin

I allowed them to dress up in very scary costumes for Halloween. In fact, I MADE all their costumes. Told you I was bad!  This was Jake as “The Penguin” from Batman. He even won a contest!

Titanic halloween costume

Before the movie “Titanic” came out, I turned Roman into a drowned Titanic passenger. I even made the little life saver and I made myself up.

Pebbles

Oona didn’t like scary costumes so I made her a Pebbles Flintstone costume. My sister later borrowed this for my niece. I never got it back!

Well, the outcome was that my son was clearly NOT embarrassed by my telling those stories to “the girl”. In fact, Bonaparte told me later on that Jake was rather happy and beaming by the way I relayed the stories.

Seriously, over the years I’ve also:

Cut Oona’s eyelid open by trying to trim her bangs.

Had to cut Roman’s hair into a crew cut because I tried to cut his hair myself and screwed up.

Slammed the car door on Roman’s finger by accident.

Ignored Oona’s constant complaint’s about her “sore” foot only to find out it was a stress fracture

Over-reacted to Jake’s getting cat-scratch fever and cried and carried on in the doctor’s office for what seemed like hours until I was given a “prescription” to calm my anxiety

Ran out into East 83rd street running after Roman when he was wearing only his “teenage mututant turtles” underwear because he was afraid of getting a needle. Yes–he was THAT fast! He ran right out of the office!

I’ve allowed the kids to eat Halloween candy for breakfast the day after

And, in spite of my bad unconventional  ways and being the not-so-perfect mom, the kids grew up to be caring, socially aware and successful adults.

Then and now. They grew up to be wonderful adults!

I may not have a pot to piss in, but I managed to raise three great adults!

Sometimes being the bad mom just isn’t so bad after all now. Is it?

My point being that we aren’t perfect moms at times. Raising kids can be challenging at times because everyone has “their” way of raising kids..and “their” way always seems to be the right way.

Be a mom with your heart! Have fun. It’s ok to dance around the house with them and camp out with them and be silly.

It what memories are made of!

XOXOXOXO!

I HAD to give you “Teach Your Children” today! CSN ! Greatness!

Posted in Bad mommy behavior, Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding beyond two years old, Embarrassing childhood stories parents tell, Unconventional Mothering, Unconventional parenting advice | Tagged | 22 Comments

Make(up) Me A Kardashian!

Hey, I know. Don’t even go there. OK?

Saturday, my son and the girl went to a party. Bonaparte was out at the pool. I, being of sound mind and petrified of more skin cancer—especially from all the sun I acquired in the South of France, opted to spend a relaxing afternoon with our dog Chippy.

It also meant vegging out sprawled out of the sofa, just like the paupered princess that I am, and binging on sleazy reality TV. I watched, for the first time EVER. EVER!! Complete episodes of “Keeping Up With The Kardashians”.

keeping-with-the-kardashians-season-10

So I may NOT be a fan, but I was mesmerized by their makeup. Mesmerized!!!

I have to say, I’m not a fan. But, I find them both intriguing and fascinating in a voyeuristic sort of way!

They do not contribute to our intelligence.

They don’t really have anything of interest to say.

The girls actually have mouths more vulgar than mine! For that, I’m jealous!

Anxiety seems to be a large part of their lives. Watching just two episodes and if I had a buck for every time they said the word “Anxiety”, I would have had a nice retirement fund and wouldn’t have to worry about finding a job. You want anxiety Kardashian ladies? I’ll give you anxiety like you’ve never seen before! You cash cows with perfectly applied makeup you!!!

The only thing relatable between me and the Kardashian women are our fat asses!

Honestly, I stopped paying attention to their storylines after the second episode was finished. I HAD to keep watching more because I was enthralled with their spidery lashes, their  overly plumped lips, their darkly-lined eyes and their smooth and dewy skin. I want to look like a Kardashian dammit!

Kim_kardashian_makeup-6

I want lashes like that. I want perfect brows and skin….

Khloe makeup

Now THIS is stellar makeup!

I want to be made up like a Kardashian. I want the lips on my face to be plumped up like those wax Halloween lips.

Big wax lips

I want lips waxier and more plump than this!

I want my eyelashes to look like I iced an entire family of spiders!

Spider legs

That’s right. I want the legs on THIS guy turned into eyelashes!

Their faces are illuminated by some sort of magical highlighters. Yes! That would be nice on me. Besides, I’m an angel so I should have an angelic glow anyway!

Why, I’ll bet the shape of their faces is completely different when their makeup comes off—all that contouring. I want a pointed chin. How do I contour and sculpt my face like that? I can look thirty pounds thinner and still be able to eat all I want!

How can I pile on the foundation to cover– Every. Single. Freckle and Imperfection????????

Freckles, lines, all need to be erased!

Ouch! It would take more than a village AND an army of make up artists to turn THIS 60-year old visage into a Kardashian Kopy!

Today I’m “Kopying Kardashian”! Yes. I am going to try to  apply my makeup so that my skin appears dewy (and not from sweat) and flawless. My brows will be thicker. My eyes will be their smokiest or darkest best. My lashes will be longer due to fakes. I’ll sculpt my face and outline my lips to make them juicy like oversized berries!

The ammunition

I’m hoping this is enough ammunition!

I’ll take a gazillion selfies!

Here goes!

First of all, I couldn’t decide where to start. So I whipped out a sample of Smashbox primer and figured I would just need the entire tube to even out the ripples on my face!

Sample primer

I used more of this to clean off mistakes than to fill in the ripples and ridges in my face. I think I went through half the tube!

Next was my MUFE foundation. Damnit! The Kardashian’s makeup artists always use a sponge to apply the foundation. The only sponge I have is the kitchen sponge. Yuck! I just ended up using my tried and true foundation brush.

MUFE did not cover all my flaws.

Although I use this on a regular basis during the winter, it’s more for lighter coverage. I needed something stronger and pastier!

Those pesky freckles just kept showing through. Make Up Forever HD foundation isn’t so full-coverage. What could I do?

Aha!!! I ended up applying my “It” cosmetics “Bye Bye Undereye”. It’s a paste that you can use to get rid of dark areas under your eyes. I used it on my entire face. Yes.  I ended up using this paste as a foundation!

Bye bye undereye. I used most of this to fill in the cracks on my face!

After using this as foundation, there’s hardly anything left!

Ugh! I look like a zombie or a cadaver. Ewwww. Well, I’m a work in progress.

Looking pretty shitty there

This is not starting out to be pretty at all! WWKKKKKKD? Really! What Would Kris Kourtney Khloe Kim Kendall Kylie Do????? Call Caitlin?

The sculpting attempt was next. Unfortunately, the brown shadow I used and a thicker brush make me look bruised.

Naked 2 Tease. It sure teased me into thinking it could be a contour!

I didn’t have contour stuff so I used “Tease” from Urban Decay’s Naked 2 Palette. This shadow “TEASED” me into thinking it could be used as a contour. It can’t!

Looking bruised after the attempted contour

I looked bruised! Yeezus! It’s sad how bad I look!

Time to wash my face and start from scratch with the primer AND more paste on the face.

I decided to highlight my eyes AND highlight the outline of my lips with my YSL Touché Eclat. This thing is $45.00 so I normally only use it for special occasions. Today is special.

Lips lined with Touche Eclat

I read that if you line your lips with Touche Éclat they will look bigger. Let’s see!

Touche Eclat on my lazy eye!

I also used a lot of this pricey stuff on my eyes! It’s expensive to look Kardashian!

Touche Eclat. I'm like Kim. I got this in Paris!

I have the “fancy” Touche Éclat. OK. So it’s a tester and I got it from Bonaparte’s aunt’s maid–she gets this stuff and I paid half price. But, like Kim Kardashian, I got it in Paris!

Next I decided to do the brows. The Kardashian ladies—and Bruce Cait have such perfect brows. I penciled in with my Tarte Amazonian Clay eyeliner pen(cil?) and broke the tip a few times. This stinks!

Tarte Amazonian Clay Eyeliner that I used on my brows.

I didn’t have a brow pencil within reach so I used this liner. I also broke the tip a few times. MORE money down the drain!

Anyway, after finally drawing the brows in to the (un)desired thickness and then going over them with black shadow, I realized that my brows look like they need a bikini wax!!!

My brows need a bikini wax.

OMG. These brows DO need a bikini wax! They look terrible!

Maybe it won’t look so bad after I do the rest of my face!

Eye shadow was next. Thank God, I have the “Naked 2” palette! It’s very Kardashian-friendly with all those “natural” colors! I brushed “Booty call” (I told you this palette is Kardashian-friendly!) below my brows for yet, another highlighted look. Then brushed “Snakebite” and –wait, it’s hard to read the name due to my eyes—even with glasses—the name looks like “Yuk”. LOL—I swear I cannot read it right! Anyway, I brushed both on my lid and in the crease.

Those eyebrows have a life of their own.

OK. The dark shadow (Why am I thinking of the TV show “Dark Shadows” right now?) is actually helping to make those horrific brows look less awful!

Then I went to blend and the fall out was so extreme I had to, once again, wash my face and reapply more of the “It” paste. I almost used the entire small jar. Ugh!

I found some Laura Geller highlighter so I applied it under my brow bone and blended.

Look! MORE Highlighter!

I added some more highlighter. Hey, you can never overdo the highlighter, right?

Then I took the black shadow from the “Naked 2” palette and lined the bottom of my eyes with it as well as the top.

Blackout for lining the eyes

The name of this shadow is “Blackout”. I swear I worked so hard at this that I started to get hungry and all I could think was the old school Ebinger’s “Blackout Cake”–a chocolaty delight from my childhood days!

It felt so bizarre because I haven’t lined the bottom of my eyes in years. I look like Rocky Raccoon!

Bottom lids lined and it's making me even MORE cross-eyed!

The raccoon eyes aren’t a good match for the overbearing brows. This needs to get better!

Ugh. Now I have to wash the fallout under my eye.

Oh…and I had yet MORE shadow fallout. So I had to wipe clean and reapply yet AGAIN! This is getting annoying!

Next I went over the black eyeshadow line on my upper lid with a liquid liner. Once again, I had to stop to reapply because the liquid liner smudged. This is way too much work!

Smudged liquid liner. Back to the drawing board and the kitchen

How on earth can liquid liner smudge upwards! It’s liquid! It should be going in a downward direction. More wipes please!

I also tightlined with my Urban Decay pencil in “Perversion”. I was feeling slightly perverted to be putting myself through this!

Tightlining. And seeing double.

You have no idea of the “ANXIETY” I was going through. I’m cross-eyed and I saw two pencils instead of one. The challenge was finding the REAL pencil!

I had to stop and re-sharpen the pencil because I had to apply it a few times!

OK…now came the fake lashes. I have quite a few pair of the falsies. Every now and then, I’ll get the urge to have longer and lush lashes, but the ones I have are pretty tame compared to my little Kardashian friends (as if!). I went with the spikiest lashes I had in my stash.

Falsies are next!

When you want to go “Kardashian”, these lashes aren’t that spikey after all!

It’s been a while since I’ve used falsies so I was a bit out of practice. I put too much glue on one of the lashes and I became overcome with more Kardashian “ANXIETY”.

Ugh. Too much glue. Anxiety. I need food while this dries!

I almost had a meltdown after this. AND there was still MORE shadow fallout that needed to be cleaned up.

I went downstairs and put some granola and seeds in some milk and ate to sooth my nerves.

Granola, pumpkin seeds, non fat milk. As healthy as it gets forr today.

Granola, seeds and nonfat milk may not be the healthiest snack, but I  need to keep my ass lookin’ Kardashian sized!

OK..so the glue smeared the liner and I had to reline my eye.

Eye re-lined, I am NOT the kind of woman who gives up easily. It was back to the contouring. THIS time around I used my Wet ‘n Wild bronzer and a wide brush and applied like blush. Um..I’m no pro.

Wet n Wild Bronzer I'll use as contour.

Wet ‘n Wild Three Buck Bronzer. NO WAY was I going to waste my good Guerlain Bronzer on this experiment!

Contour just looks dirty. I'm too tired to take it off.

It didn’t sculpt. My face just looks dirty. Well at least its an improvement over the first contour attempt. It doesn’t look bruised!

Next was blush time. I don’t know if the Kardashian’s use blush. It seems that they use contour for everything—but I can tell you this much. I like a pinky blush. I think I over did it? I wiped some off.

The mouth was next! I used to wear bright and dark colored lipstick years ago when my lips were as plumped up as if a bee stung me. Then with age my lips, like my hair, got thinner and I got lines and a lighter color is much more attractive. However, I “lined” my mouth with more of the  the YSL Touché Eclat and “outlined” with my Lipstick Queen lipstick in “Saint Fire Red”.

Too much blush and now for the lips!

My eyes are crossing so badly today–but I DO like the Lipstick Queen “Saint Fire Red”!

Thank god I had a lip wax!

See. I “over lined” them. I found that about by watching the Kardashian’s!  Ohhh..thank goodness I plucked my chin. The close ups!

It’s a very “Kylie” Jenner!

kylee red lips

Hard to believe this is an 18 year old girl. Even harder to believe that me, a 60 year old, is trying to look like this!

Some powder to set, a push up bra, the “other” kind of falsies and huge Khloe hoop earrings and I’m looking feeling “Kinda Kardashian” Whadya think?

Kardashian selfie time!

Other than the fact I need a more gravity-defying push-up bra, do you think momma Kris and I could be sisters? I can change the spelling of my name to Kathe!

Could Kris Kardashian and I become besties? Could I get a job as a “Kardashian” makeup artist?

My Kardashian selfie. My push up bra needs to be more pushed up! The mouth looks filled though!

Medashian–trying to look sexy in this reclining pose. I look more like I saw the spider who’s legs I cut off to use as lashes came back to haunt me!

My other Kardashian Selfie. I call this one my Khloe big-ass earring look. I need to get my roots done--but the paste doen'st look half bad!

In a more  at “Homedashian” pose–you know–when the girls are home and supposed to be makeup free!  Ouch. I gotta do my roots!

Bonaparte saw these “Kardashian” pics of me. I don’t know whether to scream at him or what. He LIKES the way I look! Actually, he likes the pics. If I went out like this he would be wiping me off with a Kleenex. Well….maybe not!

At least my makeup brushes got cleaned today after the massive amounts of cosmetics I used!

At least the brushes got cleaned!

They needed to be cleaned anyway!

Enjoy this Monday. Now that I know what it takes to look like a Kardashian, I cannot keep up with them. It’s too much work. I’ll stick to my more natural look!

I'll take the more natural look.

I’ll stick to a more natural looking 60!

Happy Monday—Keep the peace and have fun!!! XOXOXOXO!

Do I need makeup? You be the judge—in the meantime, enjoy this ever-so-appropriate video of Amy Schumer and the boy band—”Girl, You Don’t Need Makeup”!

Posted in Plumped up lips. Heavily made up eyes. Make up for older women | 20 Comments

A Different Kind of Hard On!

Caught your attention with THAT title—didn’t I??Get the dirty thoughts outta ya heads, you naughty people, you!!! I’m talking about being “hard” on myself! At least that’s what Bonaparte is telling me lately…

It goes like this….

A large corporation, one that has great benefits, great pay and a great corporate culture, got in touch with me because they liked my resume. A phone interview was set up. It went well. (Or so I thought)

I cannot be a “Phone-y”!

..or so I THOUGHT it went well!  I’m still trying to figure out WHY I wasn’t called in for an actual interview? Could it be she didn’t like my New York/Long Island accent?

The HR person I spoke to told me that the management team would review both my resume and the outcome of our phone interview.

While I was out and about on Friday, I received a message that I would not be called in for a face-to-face interview.

I also found out the job interview I went on during the week, didn’t pan out.

My heart is broken.

My heart is breaking.

Between the job news and Oona moving, I sat down and had a long, long cry! Remember that song by Crystal Gayle? “Don’t It Make My Brown Eyes Blue”? Well, I was crying and singing “Don’t it Make My Crossed-Eyes Blue”!

Don’t know when I’ve been so blue

Don’t know what’s come of the interview

You’ve found younger and new

And don’t it make my crossed eyes blue

 

My blue cross eyes!

“Wahhhhhhhh”  My crossed-eyes are just so blue–and watery from crying!

Bonaparte said in his adorable accent of which I could barely understand:

“Cassee. Ou ahr bee-ang too ‘ard on ouselllllllllllvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv!” “Ou nid to be reh-laxxxxxxxdddde”

(translation: “Cathe. You are being too hard on yourself. You need to be relaxed!”

Mind you, I had this self-pitying breakdown just moments before my son arrived. AND he arrived with a girl. A girl I’ve never met before. I literally had to put on my “big girl” panties. No. I really did have to put them on because my ass and tummy got so large that I had to wear a body shaper! I cannot be fat mom—especially when my son brings a girl home! OK???

Body shaper

My body was shaped, but the fat was just redistributed in spillage!

Anyway, within seconds of Jake’s arrival, I was fine! I was just genuinely happy to see him and we all had a great dinner and I drank too much wine. You wanna know something?   I have a two-drink limit. Seriously. I can only drink two Kir Royales—beyond that, like wine with dinner, I get really blasted and then have a hangover the next day.

Kir Royale

Actually, ONE Kir Royale is my limit….but with mixing wine…

Cote de Provence

…even a glass or two of a nice Rose, I’m just not in good shape!

I was hung over yesterday. I swear to god, I cannot mix anything!! ANYTHING! We had Rosé with dinner and my son kept refilling our glasses. Between the wine and the champagne and crème de cassis, my head hurt and my stomach needed a greasy bagel with egg, ham, and cheese. But—I’m on a “quest” to lose weight (NOTE—I’m no longer using the word “diet”—it’s not happening. “Quest” or “Journey” will be my new words for my feeble attempts to drop pounds!)

So back to my “job” search….

It baffles me that the only job I was able to snag was that two-week stint with the band of grifters.

1990-the-grifters-poster1

Ok–so they didn’t seduce or murder me on the job, but that two-week stint really conned me. They murdered my ego and self-esteem!

The boss who fired me, upon hiring me, welcomed me into her world of “misfits”! That could mean one of two things.

misfit-toys2

Now, THESE little Toy misfits are more my style!

Am I such a loser that I couldn’t even “fit in” with the misfits..or..I was so incredible that I was not able to “fit in” with the misfits.   Presently, in my delusional world, I’m hoping that the later was the reason!

My resume is “Resumazing”! No—really. It is. I can type 70 WPM, I’m a wiz at Word. At my past positions, I created spreadsheets on the average of three times a week. I’ve added formulas, additional workbooks, pivot tables. I’ve corrected others’ spreadsheets too. Fun in an office environment is Power Point for me! I love creating PP presentations!

Little Wythe Tote Goes To France  Click on to see my PP presentation about my little tote in France!

I’ve helped co-workers with issues they’ve had with Word.

I graduated from Katie Gibbs! I love being a support person! I’m loyal like a doggie when it comes to working for someone.

Right now, I’m starting to get scared. As much as I appreciate Bonaparte’s support and good graces, I don’t want to depend on him. We are a team! Teams work together. I feel that I’m not carrying my weight (well, I’m carrying a different kind of weight—OK???) to contribute to the household.

I carry the weight of the world

Besides MY weight, I sometimes feel like I’m carrying the weight of the world around with me!

It’s such a shitty position to be in. I’m 60 years in. Corporations want young blood that is cheaper and less prone to medical issues. It’s better for a young employee to call up on a Monday with a hangover than for an older employee to call in with a back issue. Am I right???

What to do? What to do????

I’ll tell you what to do! I’ll keep pluggin’ away. Never losing hope, I just do NOT give up! When Bonaparte and others ask me how “the interview” went. I’ll smile and cheerfully give them the answer I always do.

“Oh. It went really well!” “I thought about my answers and gave them honest and logical answers and added a touch of humor”. “I was myself!”

That’s right! Atypical60’s advice to all. Be yourself! Always! Never, ever, ever be anyone else. Don’t try.

Be yourself. Faults and all!

Like Popeye, “I yam what I yam” Always be yourself!

At some point between now and when I’m 90 and sauntering around in stilettos and a walker, someone is bound to hire me!

Me at 90

I’ll still be hopeful at 90! Ripples, wrinkles and all!

OFF TOPIC MOMENT:  Remember how I wrote about getting that great extra-large Longchamp Weekender bag at CDG Airport for a steal of 49.50 Euros???? I saw a much smaller Longchamp Le Pliage bag for $99.00. YES! I’m even happier over my airport buy!

The Magic of Rondini and Working the Soldes.          Click on the link..I’ve got my Longchamp bag in that post!

Longchamp bag at TJ mazz for 99.00

TJ Maxx. $99.00. Trust me, that’s still a really good price for this bag!

Enjoy this beautiful Sunday! Oh. Today’s song is one that I’m actually listening to on the radio. I have to tell you, we listen to “Nostalgie” radio when we’re in the car in France. I found out through the website and blog “Comme Un Francaise” that the radio station could be uploaded/downloaded on your phone.

Comme Une Francaise Blog!

I love it. Here’s France Gall singing “Résiste”. She’s got something about an egoist in the song too—I need to build my ego up!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Posted in France Gall, Longchamp, Wythe Hotel | 9 Comments

Ima Winner! A Delusional win of One Billion Dolliz in a Lottery!

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “You’re a Winner!.”

Hi All!   A mini post challenge has my delusions going in all directions as to what I would do if I won a BILLION bucks, TAX FREE NO LESS, in the lottery.

Do you really want to know what I would do?? Here goes…

1. Retain the best attorney I could find. I would need her to protect me from all the people who turned their backs on me when I lost everything and would be ringing my doorbell for help as soon as they found out I won.

2. Move back to New York City. Best apartment I could find on the Upper East Side.  I love the City–I miss it, and I got kicked out due to the rising expenses and greed that turned NYC into a place that only the wealthy could exist comfortably in.

3. Check myself into Columbia Presbyterian Hospital. Ever the hypochondriac, I would have a complete CAT scan, tons of testing. Then I would get my lady parts replaced.

4. Purchase homes for all three kids and create trust funds for them. AND pay off Oona’s student loans. I would never want my kids to struggle. I’m still feeling guilty for not being able to help them due to becoming a woman without a home and having to get out of massive credit  card debt due to divorce. That sucked!

5. Since I have that “hair” issue, I would have a couple of great wigs made..and I would get the best hair extensions to fill in the bald spots too!

6. Hire a personal trainer so that I could get into shape without depending on “shapewear”!  Actually, I WOULD be getting into great shape by living in NYC because I would WALK everywhere. Just like when I lived in NYC years ago and was a good 30 pounds lighter because I DID walk everywhere!

7. Set up a college fund for Bonaparte’s granddaughter so she would not have the burden of student loans. God only knows what the cost of higher education will be when this five-year-old child gets ready for college.

8. Purchase a villa in the Cote d’Azur. This way ALL the kids could come over in the summer and spend their vacays with us. On a more deeply shallow side, their wedding announcements would be so cool because it would state that their mother lives in BOTH NYC AND the Cote d’Azur! So very “New York Times”!

9. I would have my teeth bonded into the pearliest whites ever–you would need to wear sunglasses when I smile–but I would absolutely keep my beloved fang. Nobody files my fang–it’s equal to Alfalfa’s cowlick!

10. I would make a sizeable contribution to Wounded Warriors. They don’t get enough support from our government that takes advantage of them then disposes the wounded like trash when they come home.

11. Invest so my kids would be taken care of after I’m dust in the wind.

12. Oh. I forgot. I would get a face lift. NOT fillers. An actual face and turkey neck lift.

I will not change the world. I am not giving all my winnings away. I’m keeping those winnings close to my heart and my family. I am unemployed with no chance of any corporation hiring me due to my age. Wounded Warriors is my charity of choice my family being my other charity!

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A Son’s Visit. Recipe Fails and Successes–and A Fine (Kitchen) Mess I got Myself Into!

Ok—I was going to devote this entire post to recipe fails. But—while I started writing yesterday, I received a phone call. From one of my sons.

The conversation basically went like this:

Me: “Hulloooo” (I’m classy when I answer the phone)

Him: “Hi Mom—It’s Jake. I’m coming home this week….”

Me: (Interrupting, as usual) “OMG! You’re coming home!!!!! I’m so happy!”

Him: “Well, I’m going to a party in Pennington so I really won’t be around that much on Saturday..”

Me: “Oona told me you may be coming home because of a party. ” “You wanna borrow my car?” “If you borrow it, don’t drink—if you drink, make sure you spend the night in Pennington!” “When are you coming” “Friday?” “Did you take the day off”???

Him: “No. I am renting a car.” “Yes, I have already made arrangements to stay over if I have a few drinks” “Yes, I’m coming on Friday but I’ll be there in the late afternoon early evening.” “I have a dentist appointment.”

Me: “OMG—are your teeth ok?”

Him: “Yes. They are”

Me: “I’ll bake cookies for the party ok—I’ll make the Milk Bar Corn cookies!!!!

Him: “You don’t have t….”

Me: (More interrupting)Yes I do—I want to make cookies”

Him: “OK”

Me:What do you want for dinner Friday?”

Him: “It’s fine, whatever you want to make will be great”

Me: “I know you love that Vietnamese Lemongrass Chicken—I’ll make that. I’ll make Jasmine Rice. Oh. And I’ll make a nice side vegetable dish that I got from Rachel Khoo’s cookbook.” “You know her?”…Oh..And I’ll make that Barefoot Contessa Nougatine for dessert”. I know how much you love it”.

Him: “Really, mom, you don’t have to go through all that troub….”

Me:  (Interrupting again) “I know Jakeyyyyyy, but it makes me happy to cook for you”.

By the way, this conversation was between me and my 31 year old son. Bonaparte heard this conversation and asked me if I thought my grown son was 11 years old. Bonaparte got the pursed lips and squinted eye look from me!

And so it goes. You just cannot take the “mommy” out of the “mom”!

Anyway, last night I prepared the corn cookie dough—of which I, who am supposed to be watching my weight, aggressively licked the residue off the batter attachment of my Kitchen Aid and continued to lick the remainder of batter off the spatula.

scooped cookie dough in freezer bag

First I make the cookie dough, then I scoop it out on a cookie sheet and place in the fridge to get a bit hard. Then I place the scoops of dough into a freezer bag, and place the filled bag in the freezer.  Tonight, I’ll just take the frozen dough out and bake–it’s a time saver!

I licked more aggressively than my dog Chippy could! Chippy was impressed—maybe the both of us can get together and lick some crumbs off the floor instead of my sweeping them with a broom!

Then, I made the nougatine.    Barefoot Contessa Nougatine Recipe!

Click on the link for the recipe–this is EASY and FANTASTIC! Everyone loves it!

I made the pistachio brittle.

Homemade pistachio brittle for nougatine

I consumed quite a bit of this too. My thighs are slightly larger today!

Whipped the cream and sugar and egg whites, stirred in the brittle, placed it in a plastic wrap lined loaf pan and put it in the freezer. Tomorrow night’s dessert is done! I’ll serve with a chocolate sauce and a raspberry sauce!

Nougatine all ready for the freezer

Yeah, the nougatine may not look so pretty now, but when I turn it out on a plate and drizzle chocolate and raspberry sauces on it–it’s beautiful!! (I’ll take a pic tomorrow)

This morning I got up early to prepare the Tian Provençale from Rachel Khoo’s recipe.

Rachael Khoo Little French Kitchen

The recipe is from this book!

Khoo's Tian Provencale Complete Success

All prepared. I just have to pop it in the oven tomorrow!

Then I prepared the Vietnamese Lemongrass Chicken—allowing the meat to marinade!

Vietnamese Lemongrass Chicken Recipe I Use       Click the link for the recipe.  I double up on the ingredients for a nice sauce!

Lemongrass chicken marinating

Chicken is marinating for tomorrow’s dinner. Everything but the rice can be made ahead!

So—what I was left with was one big mess. I’m a sloppy cook. But it gets better.

I went into the small pantry and noticed that a box containing a tube of tomato paste was covered in oil. Bonaparte placed a large plastic milk carton with used oil in the pantry. Somewhere along the line, it must’ve cracked. Oil was all over the place.

Mess number 3 oil in the sink

I had to put the cracked bottle of oil into a glass pie plate into the sink and try to figure out how to dispose of this. You CANNOT ever pour oil down the drain!  I ended up pouring the oil into many smaller empty bottles and then into the trash… In the meantime, I dropped a box of confectioners sugar into the sink…..

Mess 1 flour or sugar on floor

…..sugar on the floor……

Mess number two. Conf in cake flour.

Sugar on the counter–then I found MORE confectioners sugar which I poured, by mistake into this jar of cake flour. THEN, I had to empty the sugar. Now my cake flour has a bit of sugar in it and I don’ care–it’ll be good for brioche!

spills on the dress

In the meantime, I had spills all over my “maxi house dress”. Remember Mu-mu dresses our moms used to wear around the house. This filthy maxi is my mu-mu. It drives Bonaparte nuts–and not in a good way!

This led to my cleaning and organizing the pantry…..

Cleaned pantry

Like my car, I give the pantry two weeks before it looks like a tornado hit it!

corn powder i'm running low

…..but look!   I incorporated this bottle of corn powder into another bottle that was half full of corn powder and….

Cardamom in old corn powder bottle

filled the empty bottle with green cardamom pods that were in a bag. I even cut the bag and taped the name on the bottle. I’m a regular Martha Stewart, I’ll tell ya!

Which led to cleaning out the fridge….

Fridge full of food I've prepared

…the fridge is nice and clean now too!

Which led to a major clean up job in the kitchen.

Cleaned the stove

…I had to send Chippy out while I washed the floor…

clean sink

The sink is spotless–thanks to some serious elbow grease and toothpick cleaning!

Back to the original theme of the post.

Some recipes can be challenging, but with concentration and effort and more than one attempt, it’s an accomplishment when you “get” it right!

First, I just wanna state that her “Tian Provencal” recipe was a huge success! I made it twice already. Perfection from the get-go. It is a keeper for sure!

But, oh. The failure. Khoo’s “Socca avec Anchoiade”—Chickpea pancakes with Anchovy Spread should have been tremendous but fell short.

Rachel Khoo Chickpea pancake and anchovy spread

This is Khoo’s Chickpea pancakes topped with her Anchovy Spread. I’m sorry for the quality of the pic but it’s from the book. Anyway, see how nice and light her pancakes are? Mine looked nothing like this!

Bonaparte said I was too hard on myself because he liked it. He especially liked the anchovy spread that I made. But he didn’t love it. And that’s what I’m looking for—love! Love of a recipe or a dish!

I Anyway, I do give Rachel Khoo credit for adding a caveat about her oven not being hot enough to get the authentic char of the socca.

My chickpea crepes/pancakes turned out looking a lot different than Ms. Khoo’s!

Chickpea pancakes fail

Here’s mine. Looking NOTHING like Khoo’s. They did taste really good though!

I like chickpea flour because its gluten free.

chickpea flour in bag

My new ingredient obsession. Chickpea flour!

I followed the directions in the recipe. Put the batter into the fridge overnight. Made the anchovy spread. The texture of my spread was more on the rustic side. Her spread is definitely smoother. The taste of the spread was fine. The lemon blended with the anchovy is a nice marriage of flavor. However, I would use a food processer next time rather than a mortar and pestle.

I used my crepe pan and got it super hot and used the correct amount of oil. The cakes stuck to the pan. (I realize that when you make crepes or pancakes the first one never turns out right, but this was happening repeatedly). I ended up switching to a non-stick small pan for the remainder of the pancakes. They were a lot darker in color than the pancakes that are pictured in the book. Also, in order to get them a bit crispier, I placed them in the oven at 400 degrees for five minutes. They were a bit crunchier—which was good.

Anyway, I prepared what I had for appetizers. I put the rest of the pancakes in the freezer. I’ll heat them up in the oven tomorrow as a little something extra while we have drinks. I did make a new batch of “anchovy” spread in the blender—it turned out worse than the first attempt. I’ll just doctor up some anchovy paste next time!

My Anchovy Spread. Looks unappetizing. I think I'll just use anchovy paste instead.

The anchovy spread I made in the blender. I wasn’t going to post this pic because it looks really unappetizing–but I’m honest.  Next time I’ll go back to the mortar and pestle…actually…

Anchovy paste from the tube

next time I’m doctoring up this anchovy paste from the tube. I’ll add garlic and lemon. It looks MUCH better and more like Rachel Khoo’s!

Will I try this recipe again? Yeah. I’m on my second attempt with the spread—and I’ll keep practicing with the pancakes/crepes. I want this recipe to be perfect suited to our tastes!

I’ve had another recent fail that left me scratching my head. Are you familiar with Bal Arneson? The Spice Goddess?

Spice Goddess Bal

Bal, the Spice Goddess has a nice demeanor and some good recipes!

Her show on Cooking Channel, Spice Goddess is very interesting. I’m a big fan of Indian food. It’s one cuisine that I want to learn more about. She made vegetarian burgers that looked great. I needed to make them. Off I went to Barnes & Noble to find one of her cookbooks but there were none in the store.

I found the recipe on the net, printed it out and headed off to a local Indian market for ingredients I didn’t have on hand.

Spice Goddess Veggie Burger Recipe

I followed the recipe to a “t”. Esthetically and texturally, the recipe was a failure. The flavor, however, was great!

Spice Goddess' Burgers

The burgers should have looked like THIS!

The issue I had was that more filler was needed to make the burger more “solid”. Honestly, the patties had the texture of something found in a baby’s diaper! The burgers also could have used a bit of rolled oats or something to absorb the refried beans. The chickpea flour didn’t quite do the job. The patties looked nothing like the ones in the show or in the photo from Cooking Channel’s website.

Spice Goddes Burger Fail Frozen

This is what MY burger turned out to look like. This is frozen–the recipe makes four burgers. Trust me. I failed–but not completely because it tasted good!

Anyway, before I cooked the burger, I dredged it in a bit of rice flour so that it wouldn’t fall apart in the pan. The rice flour kept the burger together and the spices used blended well with the beans—giving it a pleasant aromatic flavor. NOTE: Remember Spicy does NOT equal heat! There are lots of aromatic spices that can be used—and that’s what I love about Indian and Middle Eastern food. The spices are so aromatic. If I want heat, I’ll use peppers or chili paste or harissa or shiracha.

I’ll be playing around more with this recipe until I get it right—especially since I’m trying to eat a healthier diet these days.

I’ve had other fails, but I used these two as examples because they weren’t total failures. Both can be played around with until personal satisifaction is achieved—and that’s what we want out of cooking and baking—personal satisfaction! We all have different tastes and need the recipes to be adjusted to our own tastes. Right??

Listen—I have to tell you, one of the reasons I love Christina Tosi’s Momofuku Milk Bar cookbook is her attention to detail. Tosi doesn’t miss a trick! She gives specifics on how long to mix and blend and has an entire glossary of information. As a home cook and baker, you cannot go wrong when someone is there to guide and instruct you along. I swear up and down and sideways, Momofuku Milk Bar cookbook is the best dessert book of all time! ALL TIME!!!

messy corn cookie page

Tosi’s Momofuku Milk Bar Corn Cookie recipe. Look how messy this page is. The entire book is like this. I use it constantly. She is soooooo attentive to detail. I have a girl crush on her!

Every recipe from that book that I’ve baked has become a mainstay in our home (..and with ex-coworkers too!)

So hey, fuggetaboudit! Attempt those recipes that look promising. If you fail—it’s just a way to improve with your personal touch!

Really—after a morning spent making a mess of my kitchen and making a complete mess of me, I think I cleaned up really well!

Ima mess

I’m a hot mess!  (Bonaparte, bless his French heart, gets so upset when I post unflattering pics of me. But hey, it’s what I look like after I’ve been a cookin’ and a cleanin’)

I do clean up well

But after taking a bath, shaving my legs, putting deodorant on, mascara, liner and gloss, I clean up fine!

NOTE TO SELF: Try to become friends with a blogger who’s makeup, hair and clothing always look perfect. Maybe I can have a make over!

Flfowers always make things pretty

Bonaparte bought some new flowers……

Now I'll relax to the sunroom

…and I “repurposed” what I could salvage of the old flowers into the sun room. I’m going to go read now! 

Today’s little song:  The adorable Jacques Dutronc from 1966!  Et Moi, Et Moi, Et Moi.  (me, me, me!)!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO!!!!!

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A New (Car) Lease on Life!

I got a new car. That’s right! Dumbass me with no job now has a higher monthly payment!

Seriously, you really need to listen to this one, OK?

The lease on my much beloved Scion was ending.

My Ice Cream Truck Car

Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder and this car was just beautiful to me!

Apparently I’m the only one who loved this car because it reminded me of the old-school Good Humor and Bungalow Bar ice cream trucks!

Bungalow Bar

OK..so my Scion didn’t have a roof like this…and didn’t have a fence!

good-humor-truck-655

And it may not have had a freezer, but to me, it resembled an ice cream truck!

Bonaparte hated the fact that the interior of my Scion looked like a hurricane hit it.

Three-Day Old Vente Skinny Chai Latte

Three day and older Skinny Chai Lattes were common in my old Scion!

Car Junk Drawer

So was a mess like this!

Remember post from January?  BTW, I don’t know why the pics from that post are missing–just a heads up!

http://atypical60.com/2015/01/23/its-a-car-monsieur-bonaparte-its-a-car/

Oona hated the fact that I loved the fact that the Scion did, in fact, resemble an ice cream truck!

The boys—well, they really didn’t care as long as they could use the Scion from time to time when they visit.

Chippy is the only one who seemingly liked the car—and I think it was because he felt safe shedding all his hair on the seat because I shed all of my hair on the seats too!

Chippy in car

Chippy and I are a lot more alike than you could imagine. We shed at the same rate!

Ok—so we arrive home from France and the Toyota Financial people call to let me know that my final lease payment can be “waived” since I had paid up to the month before the lease was ending and if I got a new lease now it would be fine and blah….blah…blah..

Bonaparte drove dragged my lazy fat ambitious ass down to the dealer to “LOOK” at cars!

napoleon-bonaparte-lovers-3234

MY Bonaparte has his hand in his coat too–only my Bonaparte is reaching for his wallet–and he has the same sad look!

Off we drove to Sloane Toyota in Malvern, PA to see Mohammed, quite possibly the best car salesman of all time. Between Bonaparte, me, and Oona, we’ve gotten at least 5 cars from him—soon to be six!

sloane staff

Staff of Sloane Toyota in Malvern, PA. Mohammed is in the front row. Second from right. He has the biggest smile–that’s because I swear he sells the most cars! 

Anyway, I went with every intention of coming out with another Scion. The Scion price is right, the car never needed servicing except for oil changes and I was happy.

Then I found out that Scion is slowing production on the line due to poor sales. WTF???

Bonaparte suggested we look at the (in his words) “Ahr Vee fouh”

R.V. 4 Ii think not

Monsieur Bonaparte needs to know the proper name of the car wanted. I do NOT want an R.V.!  Not now. Not Ever. Never!

After explaining to him that it was “RAV 4“, which is entirely different than an “AHR VEE”, we continued our search. Basically the search was looking at silver RAV4 and taking a test drive. Mohammed’s eyes lit up because he loved the fact I was upgrading to a more expensive monthly payment. Bonaparte was sweating bullets because he wanted to negotiate.  And negotiate he did!   I just wanted to get the stinking process over and be done with it.

Why can’t you just go into a car dealer and say “Can I have THAT one?”…and go!

What can I say? The car is nice. It’s really nice. But, I feel like an ass because the payment is more expensive. But it’s a better car. Right???

Nice view of the side

In all seriousness, the car is really great.  It wasn’t that much more in monthly payments than the inflationary price of a better car!

The air conditioning is stellar so my hair will always look good—even on those extra humid or rainy days when I have to run the three seconds from the house to the car—I can be comforted knowing that the AC will never let me down!

The CD player/radio has great sound. In fact, when I’m driving on highways, I don’t have to pump up the volume because the car rides very silently.

Look. A safety message from my car. I'll smash this baby up if I keep reading this!

Look–the car even has a safety warning on the screen for me! It cares about me!

There is plenty of room in the back for all my “stuff”. In fact, Bonaparte was very proud of me because I purchased a little gray and white printed cube to put all my stuff in so the trunk area stays nice and clean.

Stuff in the new cube

For now, it’s nice and organized…

Groceries all nice and organized.

I took this pic after I loaded groceries in the car. But I made a sharp turn and everything went flying around. BUT–I made sure that I cleaned the mess up before unloading!

Chippy’s gray blankee is in the car and the gray looks nice against the silver exterior. Bonaparte cleaned the one I had in my Scion. You don’t think I would have even the slightest notion to clean it before draping it into my new car—would you?

Chippy's blanket as good as it gets

We’ll see how long it takes till the blankee is full of hair—and not mine!

The new car even gave me cause to stop and organize my CD collections. Yes. I spent two hours—two hours—organizing and categorizing my CD’s!

Front drivers seat so nice and clean

Take a good look–this clean car is what memories are made of–because the cleanliness WILL only be a memory in a little while!

No marks on the dashboard from my dirty feet.

Lookit the clean dashboard on the passenger side.  Bonaparte goes nuts because when he is driving, I always put my bare feet up and make marks….

Theoule. My feet on the way back from Italy. pic 2

He went nuts when I put my feet up on the dashboard of our rented car when we were on vacation. My feet were clean. No marks.  I like to be comfy!!!

But the best thing about the car is that it has one of those little cameras to help you back up into a parking space. Due to my crossed eyes, I have no depth perception—and it’s always been difficult to back up into a space.   Parallel parking is my forte, but backing up is a danger.

Thanks to this camera, I’ve been backing up like a child who has just learned to ride a bike. I cannot stop!

Back of car from outside

For the first time ever, I’ve been backing up into spaces at the mall and at Wegman’s. At home, I’ll still parallel park. It’s what I DO!

Bonaparte has been inspecting this car on a daily basis since it came home.

Bets are on! How long will it take before this car’s interior becomes even more disgustingly filthy than my last car. I give it a month. Honestly–it’s either a clean home or clean car. I opt for a spotless home!!

After a month, Bonaparte will be tired of the daily inspections and he will be annoyed at tidying up my car!

BTW—I had a job interview earlier this morning. It’s for a part-time office position, but it looks promising. I also have a phone interview tomorrow. I have no expectations!

Have a great evening. I’m off to ponder why some recipes work and some just don’t..stay tuned for that………………………………

And—because the subject is cars, here’s another Beatles one—Drive My Car! XOXOXOXOXO!

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