Atypical 60

Summer is fast approaching. And with the warmer weather comes that lighter wardrobe.  I’m a fan of simple, easy, non-complicated clothing during these warm months.

Simple shifts, maxi dresses, white jeans and a fitted Tee are the perfect choices.

And then there are shorts—or the “short” as so many fashun experts call this particular piece of clothing.

Shorts. They look great on children, models, young women who haven’t yet become familiar with cellulite or with mud-flaps for thighs, and British schoolboys.

Schoolboys in shorts always look adorable. In fact, my mother had my brothers in short pants until they attended grammar school.  My own sons wore shorts until they attended school as well……..

..and then there’s Angus Young of AC/DC who never stopped wearing shorts!

Shorts are poo-pooed in the workplace unless you are working at a concession stand at the beach or pool.

They ride up your thighs as you walk.

Hickory Dickory Dock. The shorts ran up the cock….and other places! Not a good look for men and women and incredibly uncomfortable.

They are generally ill-fitting.

Quite possibly the most ill-fitting pair of shorts ever!

They shout “TOURIST”.

WTF is she wearing anyway? Shorts that are way too long or pants that are way too short?  Have some respect and represent our country in a more stylish way when touring! 

And forget about wearing them if you are older!

This older woman has the right idea but the wrong shorts. No booty shorts on any woman over 29!

Or not?

I’m rocking my new favorite shorts!!  Madras Plaid. I’m in Old Preppy Heaven!!!

Yes. You can  wear shorts if you are over that certain age. You just have to know how to wear them. It also helps to know your body.  Oh—and it helps to prepare your legs.

Take a good look at yourself.  If your legs are a bit on the—well, pale and pasty side, it is quite good to do a bit of self-tanning.  Trust me. My legs are so naturally fish-belly white and with the blue veins showing through, it’s not the most attractive visual.

But before the self-tan, lather up those legs and shave them. From that hairy big toe to the thighed burns. Yes. That’s right! If you don’t have time or are intimidated by the waxing—shave every hair you can.

No need to spend a fortune on shaving cream. The cheap stuff works just fine. The purpose is to get rid of the hair without cutting yourself.   Original Scent Jergens is a great moisturizer for your legs. Don’t forget to exfoliate while in the bath or shower!

Exfoliate your legs to give a smooth canvas—then apply a moisturizer.

Wait about 15 minutes then apply the self tanner.  If you are in a hurry, apply a quick drying fake bake. If you have the time, Jergens moisturizing Natural Glow is still the best choice IMHO!

I used Rodan & Fields Foaming Sunless Tan today. I’m not thrilled with this because a few coats are needed to get the right color. In addition, this dries the bejeezus out of your skin. But–it dries very quickly.

I’m lazy and don’t work out. I also eat too much.  Therefore I am not going to go into that place of short-shorts.  Hey. If you are older and have incredibly toned legs and no crepey skin or flabby thighs. More power to you. Strut your stuff, sister!

We will not go here. NOBODY should go here! Not now. Not ever. Never!

However, a great number of us need more thigh coverage.  The length of Bermuda Shorts is a perfect length.  But there’s also the fit.  You want a more fitted pair of shorts and not a baggy pair.

The second I laid my eyes on these J. Crew Sunday Slim Short (that’s J. Crew for ya—it’s a “short”!) in Madras plaid, I had to make them mine.  Don’t be deceived by the “slim”—this is a great fitting pair of shorts that’ll flatter any body shape.  The Size 10 fit me very well and I’m hoping that Crew makes these shorts in other patterns. These shorts are 100 percent cotton. I will only wash them in cold water and air dry!

For a very casual Saturday Out and About type of look, I love these shorts with a pair of Bass Weejuns and a navy tee shirt.

This is also a wonderful pair of shorts for us women 50 and 60+ because they are lightweight and offer comfort in the heat of the summer!

If you want to go a bit shorter and more casual, there are plenty of choices available.

Enough of my blabbing. Come along as I put together various outfits. And no. You do NOT need a stronger pair of eye glasses. My lack of focus is spot on today!

For a dressy look, I put together a navy schoolboy blazer from J. Crew, a white Ann Taylor shirt, my Madras shorts and on my feet Ivanka Trump (I may not care for her dad, but boy, are her shoes great!) metallic shoes and my red Longchamp leather Le Pliage Cuir bag.  This is a good shorts look for the older woman!

Same look, but out-of-focus and more casual with Repetto flats and a nude Nat & Nin bag.

Detail on the shorts ensemble.  Faux pearls from J. Crew and red lips from Ulta’s Matte Lip Cream in “Passionate”. Over that a clear gloss!

Next up is a shorter pair from Loft that I bought last year. These are also a size 10 and are 100 percent cotton. I have washed them repeatedly in cold water and air dried with no shrinkage. These have to be ironed, however.

Again, another dressier look, nice for a luncheon out or dinner. J. Crew Schoolboy blazer is worn over a J. Crew Factory chambray popover shirt. Gap belt.  Another pair of Ivanka Trump heels in navy.  Maybe if her dad becomes president (LOL), she can be Secretary of the State of Shoes!

Same shorts. More casual. Old Navy Fitted T under Kut From The Kloth denim jacket. Dig the Dr. Scholl’s on my feet! They aren’t as good as the old school Scholl’s but they are comfy. My fake tan is a bit on the too-light side!

Same shorts with a sleeveless shell. The shell is fantastic and was purchased at Ann Taylor factory quite some time ago. It is a blend of cotton, nylon and spandex and has a great fit! I’m also wearing a Lilly Pulitzer murfee scarf that I purchased many years ago at the Lilly Pulitzer warehouse sale.

Detail!  The murfee scarf goes well with the outfit and offers a bit of warmth against blasting air conditioning in the summer!  

Detail!   I really like the proportion of the heel to the shorts here.  You CAN get away with a kitten heel and a shorter pair of shorts.  It’s all about proportion!

Next up is a pair of light blue shorts I picked up last year as well from Uniqlo. This pair is 100 percent cotton and even though they are a size 10, the fit is a bit more snug–therefore a longer shirt is needed.

This pair of Uniqlo shorts is worn with the sleeveless shell I got from Ann Taylor Factory. I’m wearing a Lilly for Target scarf.  This is a good outfit for a summer baby shower or a barbecue. I would NOT wear these shorts touring around on vacation because they have a tendency to ride up while walking. The last thing I want to do is to keep tugging at my shorts!

Next up is my pair of “old faithful” shorts. These were purchased at J. Crew Factory about four years ago. I have to tell you, I’ve worn these more than any other pair I own.  I LOVE the fit. Because they are a heavier denim, they stay put. These are 99% cotton and 1% spandex and that one percent makes these shorts perfect!

I’m wearing this with my Tory Burch tunic.  The navy and white tunic is 96% cotton and 4% spandex and I love the fit. My only gripe is that I have to roll the sleeves up because they are too long. This tunic is a size 10 and was purchased online at 70% off the original price.  I love this look–it’s an easy and flattering one…..

…and from the back, the view looks fine. My ass is not thin. Look at my legs. They are not thin either. I’m meaty. I’m old. But I’ll still wear the shorts! A well- fitted tunic works wonders!

More detail on the tunic. Quite honestly, I think Burch’s clothing is way overpriced, but her sales are incredible. The original price was  $295.00. I paid less than $49.00.

I’m getting my “St. Tropez” look on! This is a great casual and vacation look.  The top is from a couple of years back from Uniqlo.  The cotton IS a bit on the heavy side but it’s a great shirt for those cool or rainy summer days!  On my feet are my Rondini Tropeziennes sandals which get more comfortable by the year!

Detail! Stripes are nice!  Who cares if you are a bit wide in the middle?  The fit of this shirt is what counts and it is slightly fitted so that the shirt isn’t boxy looking!

The white shorts with different color stripes. This time with a bright yellow and navy boat neck top from Target. At $12.00 this was a great bargain! The shirt is a cotton/spandex blend and is a nice length–covering any “top o’the muffin” to ya!

Detail!  There is a bit of extra fabric for reinforcement on the boat neck. This is genius because the shirt stays put and that elusive bra strap will stay hidden!

This look is  casual and kind of boho in an orange trapeze top from last year. Old Navy. This is a GREAT hot & humid shirt to pair with the shorts because it is so light and airy. I’ve also paired this with Oona’s infinity scarf that she left behind. 

Will Oona get her scarf back?  BAD MOM ALERT–I don’t think so!

Last look.  The white shorts worn with a light and airy navy Peter Pan collared shirt from Loft. I think this is about 6 years old.  On my feet are the ever-comfortable Sam Edelman Felicia ballet flats in navy.  This is also a great vacation look. You can walk around all day in these shoes and not be sore.  The shorts won’t ride up and the shirt is so light. You won’t be sweaty and stinky!

Detail!  Who doesn’t love a proper Peter Pan collar?  It gives a nice lady like look to the wearing of the shorts! 

There are tons of ways to rock shorts–especially at an older age!  Don’t let the“experts” dictate what you should wear. The key is proper fit and proportion.  We also need to hide less-than-stellar changes in our bodies and show off our assets!

Shorts may not be an article of clothing I wear every day during the summer. I love dresses. But, there are the times when I do wear shorts. And when I do, I take fit and proportion into consideration.

Older women–liberate yourselves! Wear the shorts!  But shave your legs first!

In honor of shorts–even ones that may be a tad too short, here’s a strut down memory Lane. The Royal Teens with “Short Shorts” 1957! XOXOXOX